Hey, good to see you back! This tilt is somewhat interesting, unlike our game in three days. Yeah, it’s Atlanta/Carolina, folks. Oof!
Newsy Notes:
-It’s already been mentioned Reich is gone, after getting rid of his OC (Irsay’s doing, I’d think) and after getting rid of Matt Ryan. This is what constructive tanking looks like.
-And the replacement coach is a fella with high school experience only? It couldn’t be more obvious.
-But that Irsay fella has seen Manning and Luck so he thinks he knows what a real NFL qb looks like and by golly, he’s gonna go get him one!
-The Pantards wearily fired back by getting rid of their cb and d-line coaches.
-Tyreek is having an historic season, cruising to a potential 2,000 yard receiving year. He’ll get that extra game in so his pace is at 2,085 yards.
To The Game!
Ravens/Saints:
-Dalton gets the start-he has perfectly cromulent numbers to this point, posting an average of 235 passing and a 9/4 TD/INT ratio.
-Thing is, the goblins in his game tend to come out when the stadium lights come on-he’s a dreadful 6-20 in prime time tilts.
-Still, you might not figure the Saints as being #4 in total offense at 394 yards per game.
-Various injuries mean that tight end Likely and good old D-Jax as well as Justice Hill and Kenyon Drake will see the field.
-This should be a good test for star rook wr Olave-he tends to play outside so he should see plenty of Marlon Humphrey and Marcus Peters.
-The Saints rush D is coming off a shutout of the Raiders but a much sterner challenge awaits in a Ravens team that averages 5.7 ypc. They seem to have trouble finishing on the ground as they are only 14th in the league in ground scores.
Enjoy.
Good morning from LA, where it is dumping rain.
Powerball drawing is delayed? Dammit, I need to know if I’m a nigh-billionaire so I’ll know who to vote for tomorrow!
Ruh-roh, sounds like they found some shenanigans. The guy that hosted Bowling for Dollars in Pittsburgh years ago went to the slammer for rigging the daily number.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1980_Pennsylvania_Lottery_scandal
Wikipedia worthy!
It was completely bonkers!
If I don’t win I’m going to march on the Capitol until someone convinces me that the drawing wasn’t;t rigged against me.
It’s the American way!
If it was here, bear with me because I’m old. Someone was describing all the bad things that happen when you win the lottery. That guy from WV, Whittaker(?) being the classic example; his life went to shit. But who’s turning down a billion dollars?
Whittaker is a classic example of just being an asshole with your winnings.
If you win something like this you have to tell no one, get a really good attorney to set up a trust or LLC, and then just shut the fuck up about it.
Or be loud and say it with your whole chest and be prepared to pay a solid chunk of your jackpot on security while kissing your old life entirely good-bye.
Still, it’s a problem I’d like to have.
Yeah, dealing with it was part 2 of the article about how bad winning a billion dollars sucks. Give a big national law firm a call and tell them you want to talk to someone in trusts. Salt enough of it away in something like Treasury notes or bonds that you always have a nice nest egg coming to you, even if you spend the rest of the money on hookers and blow. Or Twitter.
Sean Payton wouldn’t shut up, so PeyPey and Eli murdered him. Which is a damn good trick, since they aren’t in the same state. Elisha has magical powers!
[wants the Asterisks to lose]
[they win]
[wants the Raiders to win]
[they lose]
[wants the Chiefs to lose]
[they win]
[wants the Tiger-Cats to win]
[they lose]
[wants Notre Dame to lose]
[they win]
[wants his fantasy football team to win]
THEY WIN!
How did the Saints get multiple MNF games?
Stupid meddling church.
Redshirt Review of the Quantum Leap 2.0’s Writers’ Twist and General Knowledge of Quantum Leap 1.0 Facts and Temporal Mechanics:
Nostalgia Critic “THIS IS STUPID” – YouTube
Actors are doing a great job though. Hopefully for their sake, it gets better.
Jacksons agent should run on to the field to stop this
Say what you want about him, but Andy Dalton has guts. And if he keeps getting hit like this, we’re gonna see them spilled out onto the turf.
His guts were never in doubt, it’s his soul I have questions about.
I think we can all agree his soul isn’t elite.
I love this picture so much. Just Peyton on his ass watching his legacy slip away
Phew!
Is the league ppr?
0.5
I guess you need a soul in order to get Roughing the Passer called.
If Campbell hit Brady like that he’d be thrown out of the game and possibly into jail.
What show is this?
Station 19. Not sure if it’s a Grey’s Anatomy spinoff but it’s in the same universe. They cross over all the time.
…. so who’s that on the right?
Stefania Spampinato. Unfortunately, she does not dress like that while walking her dog.
All good. I found this pic of Danielle savre
Jésus !
“30!? Fuck that I’m outta here.”
Matt Gaetz, probably
My wife watched all those damn shows with fire departments and hospitals. Hearing the shows in the background have let me know that even an idiot like myself could write a TV show script.
Much like my dad constantly rewatching Titanic to get the ship to avoid the iceberg, I guess I’ll watch “Quantum Leap 2.0” for the same reason.
Stick with it Redshirt Dad; one of these days that ship’ll dock in New York!
It did!
Ghostbusters 2 – Titanic – YouTube
Yes!
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-b0rf5vHW10
I unabashedly love this movie. Soundtrack is… different:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ghostbusters_II_(soundtrack)
I have to come up with a way to get this into more classes:
Oh! Thanks for the reminder, we’ll watch that next. The Dr. Mrs. has been working hard all day so the TV is hers to control. Right now we’re watching Grey’s Anatomy.
I said Grey’s Anatomy, not Gray Anatomy. Put it away, Ben.
[Sad Harf]
Current status;
Well shit, now I have to stick it out.
Belive it or not, it looks like I’m gonna win my second game of the year.
Unless will Lutz kicks like 80 field goals.
Not gonna press my luck and turn the game off
If Lamar can run for 10 TDs and only go for 2 point conversions, I have a chance to win fantasy this week. What a time this week with 3 players ruled out, 3 on Bye, and 1 on IR.
It is truly absurd how good the Kirkland brand pink Himalayan salt kettle-cooked chips are. One kilo of chips goes ridiculously fast.
I’m currently chowing on one of those Kirkland 4 packs of pizza from Costco.
Definitely could use some salt
I heard those pizzas were crap. But it’s still pizza, so I’d eat it anyway, as all of us fat boys would do.
Not eating pizza is serial killer behavior.
“alright, I got an idea for a pizza topping, hear me out…” J. Dahmer, Milwaukee 1990
“Been done, kid.”
— Ted B., OR
“Shut up, both of you.”
Ed G., WI
Are they the Detroit style ones? We thought those were pretty good.
“And when you think about it, Kirkland Lake Ontario is actually a Sandwich Island!”
-Maestro
A person younger than me asked for my opinion on clubbing. I hate clubs. I’m definitely more of a bar guy though. Bars just have a much nicer feel to them. It helps that they have a little bit more weight to them so the seal dies right away.
“…and sure, I’ve dealt a little Ivory.” – Tom Benson
Evening
How much would it be to pay Luke Bryan to not subject me to a private concert?
At 8:01 pm tomorrow I am going out and taking down political signs around town until either my car runs out of gas or the police take me down in a hail of bullets.
I’ve never set fire to a very large political sign in the dead of night after an election, I swear. It never happened in Ottawa on a side street that ran off Bank Street in a residential community, ever.
I have not stolen and then burned many Trump signs.
I’m a huge fan of what you’re not doing. You should keep not doing that.
I have no intentions of doing what I am currently not doing.
If only more folks were not as politically engaged as we are…
I would never do something like that. However, people lose control of the cars and drive into front yards all the time.
Pics or you didn’t get arrested.
If you don’t get caught, its not illegal.
He’s right, and I went to law school so I oughta know.
How does Ted Cruz get his own car in the World Series Parade? Takes a cheat to love a cheat, I guess.
Probably because no one else wanted to ride with him.
Do you think he was hoping for a tank or MRAP and instead was stuck with a shitty Humvee?
Who else is going to make plaster casts of the erections of the starting rotation?*
*some people are so short-sighted, smh…
“I wish *I* had been given my own car.” – John Connally
Well that’s just fucking peachy.
As someone on the losing side of 50 I would greatly appreciate it if Joe and Troy could stop being so amazed that a 36-year-old can run 30 yards at a time without his heart exploding.
Well, honestly that’s on you if you’re listening to those two when there’s a perfectly good Manningcast to watch.
/Turns on Manningcast
//Sees Luke Bryan
///turns on hockey
////hears jack Edwards
/////goes into garage, closes door, starts car
Posting this before this gets banned too:
https://twitter.com/CincyProblems/status/1589767232933928961?cxt=HHwWgoCpqYO4_o8sAAAA
That was indeed a pretty special moment.
I heard the Bengals Radio make calls for the 2003 season, Dillon breaking the record, winning the 2005 division, 2005 playoff pregame up to Palmer blew out his knee, the curse ending, escaping Tennesse with a win, coming back and beating Kansas City on the road, and my team in a Super Bowl. But the “Silence in Baltimore” call will always have a special place in my heart. Too bad I can’t find it online.
I remember seeing the final score of that KC game and not being able to believe it. I was picking up food in Eagle Rock.
Mrs. Cornblower is vacuuming the basement with a fury, which tells me that she has seen exactly one (1) spider down there.
Here I am imagining a super villain ala Doctor Octopus but all the appendages are vacuums.
/Mrs. Deadly gets the first interview, of course
If I hit the Powerball Jackpot, I’m buying the Website That Shall Not Be Named and going full Elon on their asses. Half of them laid off; the other half forced to work 24/7 and sleeping on the floor, like a sane, rational person does it.
S*llB*mmons.com?
Son of a bitch! That is so harsh! Do I still have to do the game intros?
https://mobile.twitter.com/alyankovic/status/1589684140286554115
Banner!
Ah, never mind. I refreshed and it all went away.
I presume the woman being spoken to is her girlfriend on the show, who actually lives near me – we’ve met her twice while walking our dog.
Jeez, when I walk my dog all I meet are (other) elderly people wandering around in the woods.
“Hey, I’m not elderly!” – Trent Green
“Me neither.”
“Yeah, speak for yourself.”
— Jim T. and Todd M., parts unknown
I tried to embed it like six different ways and none of them worked.
When you said “banner” I thought you were Elon Musk talking about how to handle a professional comedian who made a joke about him on his “free speech” platform.
The latest is a story that his father paid hush money after Elon fucked a cat to death while high on cocaine.
It’s probably not true, but at this point I am not betting against anything.
Musky doesn’t need cocaine to do that.
Oh no, I believe that, I just don’t believe that the old man would have paid a red cent to get him out of trouble.
I presume everyone has seen Ted Cruz getting booed and having beer thrown at him at the Astros world series parade but if you haven’t, I recommend it as a brief moment of joy.
I hadn’t heard about people throwing beer at him. Please tell me it was unopened cans and they were fired using one of these things:
Unopened but appeared to be thrown overhand.
I’m kind of brokenhearted that people didn’t coordinate this a little better and when he was reacting to the first thrower someone else put one into the back of Ted’s skull.
Oh wow, it does look like a can – possibly even unopened. That’s a little much. I’d save this kind of treatment for people who made jokes about Paul Pelosi.
https://mobile.twitter.com/wcgroovy/status/1589708360076922880
The police along the route seem unconcerned,almost disinterested.
I haven’t heard anything about the guy getting caught.
If, hypothetically, I were ever to do that I would just say that I was throwing him a beer to show my appreciation, and was as surprised as anyone by his girlish shrieking as it bounced off his nose.
“What kind of *** doesn’t like beer?” you could say to those Texas cops and they would just nod their heads in agreement
Well duh, it’s not like someone threw a donut at him.
Classic spotted today:
Am I the only one who looks at this and sees, uh, something else? Balls? Do you see it too?
Stay tuned for the exciting conclusion!
I should change my team name to something Elon Musk related. Maybe the Space Karens?
Spontaneously Combusting Fortunes
/It’ll never fit, because Yahoo sucks
Somebody on his new toy said Elon is short for Watermelon. You can probably do something fun with that?
Anything bad happens, I can take refuge in my handsomeness. My FF name is #Truf
My FF name is Hugh G. Rection
So…Biggus Dickus? (giggle)
You know, today is one of those days were everything goes right, and I timed my dog walk in the cold rain perfectly with my edible kicking in.
I am, what one might say, ready for some football.
Before we get to NFL talk, this is wonderful:
https://youtu.be/kifpxIw_3oY