Down the Lesser Stretch They Goeth

This weekend will be slightly off, given that we have FA Cup raging semis (City of Men/Team Knifey today, Trashbirds/Men Untied tomorry) gumming up the works.  But the Prem marches onward, starting with yesterday’s presumed Anger Release Fixture (Gooners taking their frustrations out on Ded Sham Town)*.

* Sometimes, a pre-written prediction is a little off.  And sometimes, there is Friday Night Footy at the Emirates.

Mighty Whitey host suddenly desperate Leeds (7:30, USA) to start things off.  Marco Silva’s crew might not be “on the beach” after all – ready, willing, and very able to play spoiler.  In a just world, all three of Everton, Leeds, and Leicester would go down.  But it is highly unlikely that any more than 1 of the 3 actually will drop over the cliff’s edge.

I can’t find the TV schedule as of yet for the 10:00 window.  Don’t fucking test me, NBC Sports.  But the main “attractions” are all engaged in relegation posturing, with Back to Very Disappointing Everton away to Woy’s Palace – while Leicester face the bear pit of their furious home support (against Wolves).  Fun shit, unless you are dumb enough to care like Hippo.

Robins Hood are also away to the filthy Shite (10:00), but I don’t see any way that is competitive.

Both Sunday matches are annoyingly concurrent (9:00), with yeah right’s Resilient As Fuck Cherries hosting Rum Ham (on the precipice of a major European trophy, but not out of relegation’s vortex quite yet).  A point would do nicely for both squadrons.  One assumes NBC/USA will instead show Spurs at Barcodes, with its major “4th ticket to Shemp Towne” implications.  I really hate wanting Tottenham to do a good, but needs must.

Since we have a little Extra Time (pun intended), a few notes on the bananacakes Eurotrips the English “enjoyed” mid-week.  As noted above, David Moyes was doing his best Dour Ginger Cunt Death Stare, as his Hammers trailed Gent (or Genk, fuck if I can keep those two straight) at home early.  But four goals later, and they are in the Zooropa NIT semifinals.  They are pretty much the best side left, because the tourney has been the glorious, chaotic mess that UEFA and its TV partners surely wanted.

No joy in Zooropa proper, though.  Men Untied crashed and burned in vintage form, with De Gea and Slabhead shitting their pants constantly.  Sevilla, who are basically Sud Espana Rum Ham (clining to survival domestically, but killing it on the continent), humped EtH’s men, 3-nil.  This, after two late (and very fluky goals) earned them a draw at Old Trafford in the first leg.  Momentum the next day’s starting pitcher?  Somebody forgot to tell the Barberz.  Figaro to the semifinals.

City of Men scoff at all your chaos, enjoying a nice stroll in the Munchen park.  4-1 aggregate over Bear Team, with a ratings bonanza against Real Cuntfaces of Madrid next.

Macro level, the story has to be how the Eye Ties are killing it, at all 3 levels of European competition.  They are represented at each tournament’s semifinals, with a blood-FOAR-teh-BLOOD GODS Shempions Derby (Inter v. AC Milan) on tap.  Boots on teh Ground, Mister 2pac??