Some Modest Proposals…

DFOing Good

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly - January 6, 2023January 6, 2023

INT. NFL HEADQUARTERS - DAY A burly ginger-haired man races along the carpeted floor between a set of cubicles, his arms and legs pumping. As he passes over a line of bright blue masking tape, an NFL employee - TYLER - holding a stopwatch clicks the button, and grins widely. TYLER: That's

That’s My (Las Vegas) Raiders! GONE AWAY

DFOing Good

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly - December 30, 2022December 30, 2022

EXT. LAS VEGAS RAIDERS SHARED HOUSE – DAY Establishing shot and title card. ANNOUNCER BETH MOWINS: Silver and Black Spoons [sic] is filmed in front of a thriving Scorpio [sic] audience. CUT TO – "THAT'S MY RAIDERS" MULTI-CAMERA FILM STUDIO – DAY The show's film crew are all in their starting positions, and a

Meanwhile, in Pittsburgh

DFOing Good

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly - December 23, 2022December 23, 2022

INT. WALTER J. ZALEWSKI FUNERAL HOME - DAY. A large group of people mill about the largest room in the funeral home. As it is a funeral, the vast majority of them are dressed in black, but many of them are wearing accents of bright yellow as well. FUNERAL DIRECTOR: It's never

That’s My (Las Vegas) Raiders! My Friend Maxx

DFOing Good

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly - December 16, 2022December 16, 2022

EXT. LAS VEGAS RAIDERS SHARED HOUSE – DAY Establishing shot and title card. ANNOUNCER BETH MOWINS: The Raidders Family [sic] is filmed in front of a drive Julio [sic] audience. CUT TO – INT. LIVING ROOM – DAY HUNTER RENFROW and KOLTON MILLER are seated on the couch. HUNTER RENFROW, whose left leg is

Wednesday Night Open Thread: Notes from the Infirmary

DFOing Good

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly - December 14, 2022

As many of you know, the coup de grace of my horrible, terrible, no good birthday week was contracting a case of COVID (spotted via a very, very faint T line on the rapid test and confirmed by PCR). Since Monday evening I've been cooped up in our guest room,

Todd’s Surf Journal: Venice Pier

DFOing Good

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly - December 9, 2022December 9, 2022

Thanksgiving morning. Woke up at around 6 a.m. Still kind of stoned. I don't really remember how I ended up at Jade's place - she's that half-Vietnamese operating room technician I've been seeing, you know, the one who claims she used to be on the cheerleading team at Texas Tech

DFO Insider: The Alumnus

DFOing Good

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly - November 25, 2022November 25, 2022

INT. POOL DECK - NIGHT Overhead shot of a pool deck filled with partygoers, which tracks backward and ends inside the open window of an upstairs bedroom. The camera pans sideways to focus on ZEKE, who is looking out over the party, pensively. ZEKE turns as the door to the bedroom

Meanwhile, at Spaghetti Camp Headquarters

DFOing Good

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly - November 18, 2022November 18, 2022

INT. HOME OFFICE IN EVIL LAIR I MEAN WELL-APPOINTED MANSION - DAY An older man is seated behind a large mahogany desk, his hands idly (and expertly) manipulating an ancient puzzle box while he stares at the ceiling. The intercom buzzes. MARK DAVIS punches the speaker button. MARK DAVIS: HI I'M MARK DAVIS! JANET:

Special Edition Request Line: Hope

DFOing Good

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly - November 11, 2022November 11, 2022

EXT. OUTDOOR PLAZA IN RIGA, LATVIA - DAY The PRODUCER is bundled up in a heavy coat, gloves, and a faux-fur trapper's hat. He feels his cellphone buzz, pulls it out of his coat pocket, and looks at the screen. PRODUCER: Location services...? PRODUCER: Wait, there's a DJ 3000 app? I don't remember

Dan Snyder’s Dirt and MNF Open Thread

DFOing Good

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly - October 31, 2022October 31, 2022

187

The October sun poured in through the windows of Conference Room 13 on the 13th floor of NFL Headquarters. The lovely weather stood in start contrast to the expressions on the faces of most of the gathered owners, who collectively sat in grim silence. Only two individuals bucked the trend.

“#12 is reporting as an eligible bachelor…”

Updates

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly - October 28, 2022

Looks like it's splittsville for Tom and Gisele.

Meanwhile, in Foxboro…

Insane Shit

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly - October 21, 2022October 21, 2022

EXT. PATRIOTS TRAINING FACILITY - DAY A pair of New England Patriots coaches are standing in front of a grill loaded up with all kinds of meat. There are burgers, turkey burgers, salmon burgers, bratwurst, knockwurst, cheddarwurst, hot dogs, hot links, pretty much every kind of meat that can be cooked