![[DOOR FLIES OPEN]](https://doorfliesopen.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/DFO-MC-Patch.png)
INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY
The recording studio is calm and quiet. The PRODUCER is sitting at his desk, leaning back in his chair with his feet up, watching college basketball on a computer monitor. DJ 3000 remains pushed up against the wall. The PRODUCER claps his hands as he reacts to something that happens in the game he’s watching, then picks up a printed bracket and a red sharpie. As he begins writing a thick red “X”…
— [ZOOM CALL FLIES OPEN] —
DARKEST TIMELINE ZACK MORRIS: Good morning, buddy! Holding down the fort?
The PRODUCER scrambles to hit the “boss button”.
PRODUCER: Sure thing, just, uh, punching some of the station budget numbers into this spreadsheet.
DTZM: [smiles knowingly] Right, right. So what do the overhead numbers look like for February?
PRODUCER: [pretends to peer at “spreadsheet”] They look, uh, good.
DTZM: Glad to hear it. How much did we spend specifically on amortized costs?
PRODUCER: Um, sorry, didn’t quite catch that, there seems to be some audio interference. Say again?
DTZM: Oh, that’s just the wind – the convertible top is down. We’re on our way back from the tennis tournament in Palm Springs. And you don’t have to bullshit me – your workstation monitoring software shows me what you’re actually doing.
PRODUCER: Listen, it’s just that I went to school at VCU, so…
DTZM: Relax, relax, we’re not monsters…
RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: [off-screen, driving] Speak for yourself!
DTZM: …we like sports too. But while we’re on the subject of financials, is there any way you can insert some kind of financial instrument – I don’t know, a savings bond or something – into DJ 3000’s time loop and repeatedly compound the interest?
PRODUCER: I don’t think it works that way.
DTZM: Okay, but if you can figure it out, we’ll cut you in for ten percent of the profits.
RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: [off-screen, driving] Five percent!
DTZM: Speaking of profits, we’ve got advertisers to service, so have you got today’s edition of Request Line taken care of yet?
PRODUCER: Well…no. Frankly, with DJ 3000 stuck in that time loop we don’t have any guest booked. Plus, with March Madness underway I thought our listeners would be more interested in talking about the games.
DTZM: Trying to move in on Jimmy and the Animal’s territory, eh? But you’re probably right. Tell you what, let’s run a hybrid episode. We’ll do one of the weaker topics and open things up for sports opinion stuff. Got any topics that have a decently thin field?
PRODUCER: How about songs about sports?
DTZM: Oh, good call. There’s so little there. Better open it up to album titles and band names, too.
PRODUCER: Will do.
DTZM: Get us started with something that will work as driving music too?
PRODUCER: I’ve got just the thing.
Today’s theme is: Sports. We’re looking for songs that relate to any kind of sport, even weird ones like cricket and badminton (if you can find them). Band and album names are fair game. Post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0uTF!3Ld_aM0rr!5oN” and they should embed in the comments after you refresh. The answer to last week’s puzzle song was “Digging in the Dirt” by Peter Gabriel which was posted by Yeah Right but once again the credit was stolen by BeefRiverLives. Have at it, and feel welcome to comment on the NCAA games as well.
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