Alright we’re only going to do this one time. And we’re only even doing that because I’m trying to get some of those #budlightlimeritalightupforwhateverwazzzupfrogs ad bucks floating this way. Sure Hippo Thoughts brings the readers but does that work cover the PILLZBILLZ? Very much no, as one may surmise. And this place needs cash because — holy hell folks, have you enjoyed Biden’s inflation numbers?
So let it out, people, because Quotables rarely follows the corporate-sponsored storylines of each NFL week but, as previously mentioned, we need to get around to covering your entire screen with pop-up ads, pop-up videos, pop-up email subscription boxes, pop-up discount offers for personal information, and roundabout pop-ups to get you all to allow DTZM to monitor your every move Facebook-style. So we’ll be back to making fun of the average rube here next week but, for now, please find your Week 4 Quotables submissions below.
I paid good money for that meth, and I’ll be double-goddamned if I don’t get every crumb of it!
And so a dynasty ends, not with a bang, but with a clanging ‘doink’ that brought joy to millions.
Brady avoids the handshake, knowing all too well where Robert’s hands have been.
Is there a way both of them can get covid from this interaction?
It’s like a Potemkin Village with cardboard cutouts of mouthbreathing fuckwits
https://twitter.com/HCMarquardt/status/1445192396279533573?t=2bnVmOW7ugMgyQxVpXuvBw&s=19
“I’ve been yearning for a tight end since they made me cut Tebow”
“Now I know exactly how Erin Andrews felt”
–TB12
How did this much genius not work out in Cleveland?
Pictured: the SNF booth limbering up before the game
For Urban Meyer:
“Glad to see some things are still the same, NFL or NCAA” – U. Meyer
Glad to see that Bill still has the same love and affection he has for Tom as he does his own children.
Laugh all you want but I for one appreciate Bill Belichick’s efforts to master this “smiling” thing that seems to be all the rage with the kids these days.
“Down low…too slow…down low…too slow…”
– a shellshocked Eli Manning, reliving a traumatic two-weeks-ago memory
Oh, great! First no Sunday Night Football this week, and now no Quotables for Week 4?!
Also for the Urban Meyer video GIF that somehow didn’t make the cut;:
Once again, Coach Meyer’s persistent targeting of the tight end sadly resulted in no score.
I haven’t seen a shaggy beast in need of a bath wag his tongue like that since the beloved Cleveland mascot Swagger the dog passed.
How come you guys didn’t leave him waiting?
-Tom Brady
“Forever a Patriot” sounds like something Ashlee Babbit would have bloodily gurgled to a medic before her injury status was downgraded to LFG (Long Fucking Gone)
^
This
Steve knew that if he kept practising that he could become the lead singer of that KISS cover band, regardless of what his dad said.
Tom Brady was thoroughly relieved to discover that he had misheard Mr. Kraft, and that what the elder gentleman had proposed was that they get together in a private area of the stadium to enjoy a proper *hug*.
This “Twins” reboot looks awful
♫♫
Well the sign said
“Brady is the greatest and I wanna lick his balls”
But some other guys in Foxborough said
“Pats will win it all”
So the fans, they argued all night long
About football stats and facts
But the one thing they agree on
Is that “We don’t care for the blacks”
Signs, signs
Everywhere is signs
Massholes in the stadium
Losin their minds
Boo this, don’t boo that
Look – a fackin sign
Pure poetry.
I’m clicking my fingers, man.
Ponchos are insufficient to protect against the slobbering coming out of the booth
“That’s odd. Oh, right this is a hockey game. I sometimes forget they play hockey on the moon. Isn’t that silly? Fred? You awake?”
-Trent Green, talking to a slipper
They call me Steve Thrill-a-chick
“Boy, he’s just a kid out there, throwing it around and having fun. A real gunslinger! blarglegarbknobslobbercockgargle. Future Hall of Famer for sure!” **cums**
-C. Collinsworth
And there was a great disturbance in the NFL-force, as thousands of Massholes cried out “NAWT FAYUH!”
“TAWMMY IS THE FACKIN WICKED PISSAH OF GREATRIOTS! NO ONE DENIES THIS!”
When you want to remind your girlfriend’s mom that your dad’s coming over after the game.
Too similar to yours but:
Glad to see that Bill has taught his son everything he knows.
How soon before this paradigm of nepotism drives his vehicle into another causing life-threatening injuries to a child?
Alternate: “Introducing your new head coach of the Jacksonville Jaguars!”
“GrumblegrumbleI’llbeseeingyourmomlatergrumblegrumble.”
That’s right baby, I’ll lick the ENTIRE alphabet
You gotta pay the Troll Toll
To Get Away From This MassHole