So, if I remember right from eight years of parochial school, in the beginning God made (in no particular order) heaven, earth, man, seas, sky, light, animals, fishes, and Higgs boson particles. It was good. Then God took a day off to watch football, which became known as the "Sabbath"
Flags for the Flag God
Dean Blandino Consults the Orb of Officiating
[Dean Blandino, High Priest of the Flag God, addresses his flock of Beergh worshipers deep below NFL Headquarters] Brothers, I would like to honor one of our number today. On Sunday, Acolyte Coleman had the wisdom to consult with our holy seers during his officiating of the Bears vs. Lions game. After
A Sacrifice Must be Made
[Trouble is brewing in the Temple of Tripping. High Priest Blandino calls an emergency meeting of the Cult of Beergh.] Quiet Brothers, please, quiet. The dark circumstances that bring us together today cannot be ignored, but we must first pay homage to Beergh, God of Flags, Lord of Penalties. Hail Beergh! HAIL
FLAGS FOR THE FLAG GOD
[Deep beneath 345 Park Avenue, carved from the bedrock a millennium ago, lurks a dark and sinister temple. Within its smoky, yellow fabric draped halls corrupted men of modern society gather to pay service to an ancient being of forfeiture and punishment. High Priest Blandino, a flag adorned skull atop his head,