Diet Lesser Footy Weekend

King Hippo - May 18, 2024May 17, 2024

119

No, this is not a #HippoLyf reference, I am still a fat fuck who will remain such. Just...not much in the way of viewing. Our Kraut pals at Treyverkeusen look to wrap up their "Invincibles" status in the Bundesliga, home against Augsburg (9:30, ESPN+). Nothing else matters there, to my knowledge. After

On the Beach Lesser Footy Saturday

King Hippo - May 4, 2024May 3, 2024

146

Did y'all read this booky-book in high school? Somehow, I didn't. But I love end of the world/dystopian fiction, so maybe I will put it on my library hold list (saving me ass tons of moneys, why did I ever get out of the habit?). Anything you'd care to recommend

Saturday Footy Miscellany

King Hippo - April 27, 2024April 26, 2024

I thank the esteemed Balls for filling in ably last week. I drove up to London, Ontario for a 2-day visit withmy oldest HippoSpawn. It was nice, just that's about as long as I can go without a recluse-based panic attack. So, nice to be home as well. One side benefit,

Chasing Glory (Holes?) Saturday Open Thread

King Hippo - April 6, 2024April 5, 2024

107

Down the stretch they come, like they say in horsey racing. Or maybe I am thinking of the Houston 500?? Anyway, all three Title contenders have away fixtures this weekend. We start with City of Men traveling to Olde London Towne to meet Crystal Palace (7:30, USA). This one feels the

Marching On With Lesser Footy

King Hippo - March 2, 2024March 1, 2024

I keep forgetting to draft these until I am so deep into #FridayBrain that I can't really formulate coherent thoughts. That's ok, footy has been filled with entropy of late anyway. No need to try to make any sense of it. No 7:30 fixture AGAIN. This is starting to get on

Title Battle Begins In Earnest – Lesser Footy Saturday

King Hippo - February 17, 2024February 16, 2024

135

You get the contenders 1-2-3 (in increasing order of likelihood to succeed, in Hippo's view), all on USA/NBC. The filthy Redshite play Praise Beesus early (7:30, USA), with the unsettled Ivan Toney hopefully doing humanity in the good. He's in the shop window for the summer, no doubt. Surely he'd prefer the

Half-Arsed Saturday Thread

King Hippo - February 10, 2024February 9, 2024

You know how some weeks, you wonder if it would be even theoretically possible to give less of a shit? That is Hippo today. And last night, when I wrote this slop. Apologies in advance. Early Bird Special is Everton getting its shit pushed in by City of Men (7:30, USA). I

Premiership and Afrika – Togetherness Saturday

King Hippo - February 3, 2024February 2, 2024

237

There being no NFL whatsoever, a man is grateful for a full EPL slate, along with the conclusion of the Afrikan Euros' Flacco Eight. Details? Here are a sparse few. Everton is your wake and bake, home to Spurs (7:30, USA). Richarlison returns to Goodison again, he will get a nice

Void Remains, Week Two

King Hippo - January 20, 2024January 19, 2024

104

Count down the hours until Scotchy heralds in our last full NFL weekend. Oy. Another weird Prem weekend, two fixtures per day. Arsenal will likely disembowel Palace for the early risers (7:30, USA), followed by a broadcast network-televised slap fight between Robins Hood and Praise Beesus (12:30, NBC). Only one watchable game

Wild Card Weekend Warmups!

King Hippo - January 13, 2024January 11, 2024

What tasty treats await us all - presuming one is staying inside watching TV. God help you if you are ATTENDING the Saturday night Chefs/Fins tilt. Your bollocks are likely to freeze plum off. Or, I suppose, your lady bollocks (sorry, TayTay). But first, Lesser Footy awaits. The Prem is thankfully

A Hippocratic Footballing Good-Bye to 2023

King Hippo - December 30, 2023December 29, 2023

Good morning, and congratulations for making it through another year of Hippo's nonsense. I will have NFL recap and JV NFL verbal diarrhea for y'all again on Monday, but that's a matter for next year. No goddamned resolutions. Self-improve or don't, but who gives a fuck about same in relation to

Feats of Festivus Strength Thread (with Some Footy)

King Hippo - December 23, 2023December 22, 2023

Welcome to Festivus 2023. We've all got ample complaints, I am certain. Happily, we do get an early bird special, and its David Moyes Vengeance - Fronk's Hammers hosting Wakey's Men Untied (7:30, USA). Men Untied are coming off perhaps their best effoUrt of the season, which is good. But it