Instant Hippo Thoughts – Divisional Sunday (2019 Season)

Reflections

King Hippo - January 13, 2020January 12, 2020

Andy Reid sucks in the playoffs - the meme was going strong in Q1. Missed assignments, ridiculous drops, a blocked punt, and a muffed punt. A perfect storm of hell, and the 500s led 24-zip. At the time, my imaginary goal for the Chefs was to cut it to 24-14 at

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Divisional Saturday (2019 Season)

Reflections

King Hippo - January 12, 2020January 11, 2020

Hey, buck up P*ts fans. Turns out it really was THEM, not you. ¡Viva El Tractorcito! indeed. Add a jump-pass TD throw to his growing legend. Oh, and just a buck-95 plowing fields on the ground. And while Lamar! will no doubt be unfairly shat upon by the sportsball media (he

Wild Card Sunday, Bitches! Instant Hippo Thoughts (2019 Season)

King Hippo - January 6, 2020January 5, 2020

What was once 12 has been whittled down to 8. There are some surprises, starting with BOTH 6 seeds staying alive. Looks like we will forever be entertained by these Saints/Vikes January matchups. I, along with most, did not give Captain Dingleberry any scintilla of a chance. Even if Minny were

Happy P*ts Schadenfreude Day 2020 Hippo Thoughts

King Hippo - January 5, 2020January 4, 2020

Oh my cats, y'all, El Tractorcito y Mas Erotic Smashmouth did it!!! Where to start? Tanny Fanny had been a revelation ever since taking over the starting job. ALL the advanced metrics said he was not only good, but GREAT. Sustainable great. Until he wasn't. And mein Gott, how he wasn't. Except for one

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 17, 2019 Season

King Hippo - December 30, 2019December 29, 2019

Joyous of joys, we have playoff picture clarity, and got to see each and every team DERP to the finish line (with various degrees of comedia). The early window contained lots and lots of mailing it in. We will breeze through most of this "action" fairly quickly. BUT NOT ALL!!! Sean McDermott

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 16, 2019 Season

King Hippo - December 23, 2019December 23, 2019

Your humble scribe had many pill-induced hallucinations, this 22 December, the Year of Our Lord 2019. I will shake my brain around and describe same below. [Closed Captioning for the Hard of Hippo provided by the Church of the Immaculate Suzy, Rev. Mayhem presiding] Of course, in this Bananacakes of All Years,

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 15, 2019 Season

Reflections

King Hippo - December 16, 2019December 16, 2019

Hippo hopes y'all had a nice weekend. There was no FITBAW on Saturday, which sucked ass. Next weekend will be better that way. Also, I had a killer migraine all day Sunday, which really dampered my enjoyment of Everton taking a nice point at Old Trafford. It also impacted my

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 14, 2019 Season

Reflections

King Hippo - December 9, 2019December 8, 2019

Despite the very ending of the late window - this was a really great FITBAW Sunday (otherwise). Let's not let that spoil things! [Closed Captioning for the Hard of Hippo provided by the Church of The Immaculate Suzy, Rev. Mayhem presiding] We had Most Glorious Scorinami [a unique scoring combination never before recorded

Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 13, 2019 Season

Reflections

King Hippo - December 2, 2019December 2, 2019

I like to stay away from the super deep thoughts. Because deep down, comedian Doug Stanhope has it right - the key to life is to not give a shit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XCGkVyyDOcU When you care, you get fucked over. Especially in sportsball. But we can't help it. Lucky #13 held true for some of

Thanksgiving Mini-Hippo Thoughts (and JV Preview)

King Hippo - November 29, 2019November 28, 2019

Hope everyone enjoyed their fill of food, drink, family, and FITBAW yesterday. Rest assured that a full sportsball weekend remains, including a few decent ones today. But first, the Turkey Day platter. David Blough surprised us all early by...not blowing. He at least had the good sense to put some air under