Copa America Centenario Preview – Group C – Panama

ballsofsteelandfury - May 23, 2016May 21, 2016

Before anything, click play on this: The Canaleros, which is a nickname that sounds dirtier than it is (it means The Canal People), arrive to Copa America Centenario with pretty much the same squad that they have used for the 2018 World Cup qualifiers. The full roster is here: The head coach

FA Cup Final Open Thread

King Hippo - May 21, 2016May 21, 2016

Big Boy Fox has you covered, pre-game at Noon EST, kickoff 12:30. Dunno whether Gus Johnson and his miscast-for-lesser-footy enthusiasm will be announcing again or not. He really drives the ex-pats bonkers, FWIW. The matchup between Manure and Crystal Palace will have a damned strange feel for a final.

Pointless EPL Weekend WOO!

King Hippo - May 7, 2016May 6, 2016

449

Huzzah FOAR Foxy Footy, your 2015-16 English Premier League champions!! Thanks to Chelski rallying from a 2-nil halftime deficit to draw Spurs, the title race is over. So...now what? FUCKALL. That's what. There's the race to the bottom, but annoyingly enough, the Barcodes have by far the easiest schedule and thusly

Foxy Footy’s Crowning Weekend? Plus Rounds 4-7!

King Hippo - April 30, 2016April 29, 2016

293

As an Evertonian, I'm up early today mostly to boo. Plus I have to wake up kids and drive them around for various school-related shit. Parenting is hard, even half-assed single Dad parenting. Yes, our dear friends at Leicester City only need 3 points out of 9 (or Spurs

No Raging Semi FOAR the FA Cup No Mo (smh)

King Hippo - April 23, 2016April 22, 2016

Above is Ramiro Funes Mori, grabbing the badge. That's all well and good...except it's in the midst of a 4-nil loss to the Redshite, after getting a red card that will keep him out of the "Hail Mary" chance to save the lost season at Wembley Stadium today. Fuck.

Last Chance to Crash the Leicester Party

King Hippo - April 16, 2016April 15, 2016

191

A soul-crushing performance at The Stadium of Light (cool name, bruh) brings our Foxy Footy palz right to the doorstop. They didn't even need any help from Manure, which is good, cause they sure as fuck didn't get any. The lead is 7 points with 5 games to

EPL Weekend, To Cure What Fer Ails Ya

King Hippo - April 9, 2016April 8, 2016

346

The Commentist Politburo got to talkin' ailments this week, what with Culinary Legend Yeah Right's knee getting all fucked. This is the true essence of life past 35 (the "injury/ailment" Maginot Line), you whippersnappers. Shit just blows on ya. Perhaps even whilst one sleeps. No activity

Down the Stretch They Come! EPL Weekend Preview

King Hippo - April 2, 2016April 1, 2016

215

Now that our last dumb-assed international break is over, it's nut-cuttin' time for sure. And only one story is really worth following anymore - can everyone's favourite underdog, Foxy Footy, hold off Spurs for the title? Theoretically, Arsenal still has a ghost of a chance, but in poker

An EPL Return to Normalcy (Except Leicester Still in First)

King Hippo - March 19, 2016March 19, 2016

In case you want a very brief respite from basketball (for fuck's sake, don't do anything insane like go outside or talk to your family), rejoice. The FA Cup interruptions are over until late April (Everton to Wembley WOO!!!), and there's a full slate of matches this weekend. Speaking of

FA Cup Quarterfinals/Abbreviated EPL Schedule Preview

King Hippo - March 12, 2016March 11, 2016

269

Finally, there is no way around it. I have to talk about the FA Cup. We are now in the quarterfinal round, which is the last played outside London's Wembley Stadium (ie, the stage where Everton will feel they've accomplished something and shit the pitch). It's known as a

Contenders Keep Stumbling – EPL Destiny Update/Weekend Preview

King Hippo - March 5, 2016March 4, 2016

166

After the standings tightened last weekend, the midweek fixtures loomed very large. Of the three main contenders, only Leicester played Tuesday...and managed only a disappointing draw against middling West Brom. So, the door was wide open for the red-hot Spurs to take over 1st on goal differential, and Arsenal to

No Clever Title EPL Preview

King Hippo - February 27, 2016February 26, 2016

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I am de-motivated as fuck. This would be Derby Day, but the fucking Redshite are in the League Cup final against City, so the match got postponed. Thusly, I have fuckall to look forward to this weekend. With City on the sidelines, all eyes focus on the main three