FA Cup Quarterfinals/Abbreviated EPL Schedule Preview

Finally, there is no way around it. I have to talk about the FA Cup.

We are now in the quarterfinal round, which is the last played outside London’s Wembley Stadium (ie, the stage where Everton will feel they’ve accomplished something and shit the pitch). It’s known as a romantic tournament, where “magic” can happen, lower level (and even virtual pub sides) clubs hosting, and even beating Premier League opposition. It’s all luck of the draw, and many top clubs don’t take it seriously, especially if playing in Europe at the same time. Though EPL sides get a “bye” through the first 2 rounds, so it’s not that socialistic.

In actuality, the plankton generally all fall by the wayside by this point. And that’s true in 2016, with one one non-EPL side left (the Championship’s Reading, who play Crystal Palace Friday night, before this post goes live). The other matches look like solid, if not earth shattering, EPL matchups.

Saturday is the best match of the lot, with two teams making a last ditch effort to salvage something* from bitterly disappointing seasons (Chelski at Everton, 12:30, FS2). The Toffees have played very well against Chelski both times in the Prem, and need to make it 3 for 3. Otherwise, the atmosphere at Goodison will get beyond hostile (after last week’s repugnant even by Everton standards meltdown). A trophy might save Roberto Martinez’ job, but probably shouldn’t.

* Winning the FA Cup gets you entry into the Europa League (European footy’s NIT) next season, unless you qualify for Champions League. If the winner qualifies for CL, the runner-up gets the Europa slot.

Sunday’s doubleheader features Manure/West Ham (noon, FS1) and Aresnal/Watford (1:30, Fox Soccer Plus). Watford clearly will be the team with the most incentive amongst the four, as Arsenal need to cement a top 3 place in the League, and Manure and the Hammers are in a scrum for 5th, with an eye on City for the last Champions League slot.

What I’m saying is that Sunday’s games could be shit.

Also, these are the last matches that will not go to extra time or penalties. A draw results in a “replay” at the visiting side’s ground. But THAT match would go to extra time, then pens as needed. In the olden days, they did rounds of replays ad infinitum. Purity = entropy, wish I had seen it.

If you wake up super early, you can treat yo’ self to Man City and Norwich (7:45, NBCSN). With all the FA Cup-related cancellations, there are only two 10:00 matches – Stoke/Southampton (NBCSN) and Bournemouth/Swansea (USA), neither being particularly interesting.

Sunday brings Villa/Tottenham at noon (NBCSN) – don’t forget to “spring forward” UGH. Then Leicester gets shitty Newcastle on Monday Night Footy (4:00, NBCSN), presumably to keep its 5-point lead over Spurs.

Of course, footy being footy…anything can happen. So maybe good teevee will spring forth unexpectedly.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Senor Weaselo

The Monald Mucks win the Pac 12!

Bloody Lethal

Gentleman, this is Madalina Pica. You are welcome.

http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lhlcxy07yC1qeegbeo1_500.gif

theeWeeBabySeamus

She seems very….fun.

Croooow

This Stephen F. Austin is one heckuva basketball player.

Senor Weaselo

Ho-hum, Spurs win another game at home.

Croooow

Going to be seriously disappointed if the WCF isn’t Spurs vs. Warriors.

Senor Weaselo

The only question this regular season is “Who loses at home first, if at all, the Spurs or the Warriors?”

Senor Weaselo

I’m 80% sure all of New Jersey is highway from my driving through it. Highway to off-ramp to smaller highway to jughandle to other highway, etc.. And then sometimes you end up at a place! But only very rarely.

theeWeeBabySeamus

This would not be nearly so funny if one doesn’t know the shape of Idaho.
(I’M KIDDING!!!!! I KNOW THAT’S REALLY INDIANA!!!!!)
😉

theeWeeBabySeamus

The only way I EVER test 9 volts.

Senor Weaselo

Shots are really not falling for the Spurs tonight. Down 5 to OKC late in the 3rd.

theeWeeBabySeamus

This is gonna make me feel really dirty to say….But GO UVA!!!!

Senor Weaselo

Shit, did the entire NFL sign up for Dancing With the Stars?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

This made me laugh way more than it should have.
I am a pitiful Terminator Nerd…I can admit it.

Senor Weaselo

Ladies and gents, taco night was a success, namely because I found out that Ortega makes its taco sauce (Senor’s Pick between it, Old El Paso, and Chi Chi’s) in a hot variant. There was much rejoicing.

I also then bought a bottle of Spyce Hot Sauce while at the store because I saw its first ingredient was habanero (as opposed to vinegar). I will try it eventually.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Five bucks if you drink it straight.

Senor Weaselo

Joke’s on you, it only cost 3! But if it’s not hot enough, it has failed in its duties and I will probably take a swig.

Bloody Lethal

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Bloody Lethal

Yea I’m just browsing these.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Clean up on aisle 5, 6, 7 and part of 8.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Maria, when I said I’d be open to an exotic threesome, this is NOT what I thought you meant.
http://assets.nydailynews.com/polopoly_fs/1.1720900.1394814680!/img/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/article_970/vuecover16tvf-1-web.jpg

WCS

theeWeeBabySeamus
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

She needs to go to rehab.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Or get a Super Bowl ring.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

No like Steve Young reference?

OK, wasn’t very good.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Totally spaced on it bcuz I was screwing with Sill on the Rugby thread.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Maria Menounos’s Lady Parts are Showing:

h
ttp://56.media.tumblr.com/ca66de1d6311ad3630625dbfaebc25e5/tumblr_o3w2a7sYuf1u1dkf2o1_1280.jpg

theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh my….that appears to be a top notch waxing.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Bottom notch too.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Taco Tuesday.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I hope that’s not Dok getting dressed to go out for her burger.

Sill Bimmons

AFL/Rugby rivebrog up for the less basketingball-inclined Commentist.

theeWeeBabySeamus

How much trouble are we in if we giggle every time they say “scrum”?

Sill Bimmons

None.

It’s a funny word.

Doktor Zymm

I kind of want to go out and grab a burger and a couple beers, but listening to the Chicago police scanner is discouraging me. They turned off the scanner specifically for my area, I can only assume because there’s too much drunken obnoxiousness going on. Car accidents were already flooding the ER by noon, as of an hour ago there were 12 hospital runs and 3 arrests on Clark alone. My corner bar is probably okay….right? Or I could go to a nicer restaurant with a bar…dumb kids from the suburbs wouldn’t go there, right?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Zombie Apocalypse in ChiTown tonight?

Doktor Zymm

I think zombies could hold their liquor better.

...

THE GREEN HOARDS!

laserguru

Wait until the psychos leave town.

We’re fucked as a country aren’t we?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
...

I’d opt for delivery and cracking the liquor cabinet over venturing out into… that.

laserguru

Did some dipshit network executive really say, “We could really showcase Reggie Miller more!”

I have a really hard time listening to that drooling, blithering mouth-breather during the NBA coverage and now he’s doing NCAA?

Christ.

/drinks

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Hope he pulls it together and is not subject to arbitrary punishment:

http://www.msn.com/en-us/sports/nfl/martavis-bryant-to-check-into-rehab/ar-AAgHDWU?ocid=ansmsnsports11

laserguru

He’s heading for relapse!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=66IaDt0cjHQ

WCS

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Aw, well.

[smashes couch anyway]

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Fucking couch.

Sill Bimmons

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Sorry WCS…sincerely. On the upside, my enchiladas were fucking to die for. Wooo!!!! (and are so far staying down).
Fuck you Danny Manning….you are 1-2 vs NCSU as a coach. And even before that you could eat the whole bag o’ dicks.
And fuck you too, Capel Family, especially that dicknut Jason.
Hippo….I know you heard me say it several times this year, but Devonte Graham was the piece that would have made a difference for us.
/googles Jason Capel residence
//dammit

laserguru

Enchiladas you say?

Do tell?

theeWeeBabySeamus

All homemade aside from the enchilada sauce (canned).
Chicken, peppers, onions and an assload of cheese, wrapped in flour tortillas.
Probably not the best thing considering my nausea today, but yay for Reglan (doggie reglan no less).

laserguru

I admit to using a canned sauce for some of my enchiladas. I use one small can of green and one small can of red mixed together. Great for turkey enchiladas after Thanksgiving.
Mix the turkey with some diced green chilies and use some asadero or queso fresco cheese.

Oh my yes.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Godamn you.
Now I’m hungry again.

montythisseemsstrangetome

Sorry boys, but this makes Mrs. Monty happy.

Sill Bimmons

Speaking of Margot Robbie, you should see the Top Gear where she beats co-guest Will Smith’s time around the track.

It was everything he could do to not spontaneously combust right there in the studio.

Fuckin’ Margot Robbie RIGHT

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montythisseemsstrangetome

Musberger needs a haircut.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Fucking hippies.

WCS

That’s at least the third KU three they’ve hit with five seconds or less left on the shot clock.

Sill Bimmons

This is the time of year when real programs distance themselves from programs like WVU and Pitt.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Margot Robbie has an interesting dress; does fashion affect your Would/ Would Not Bang quotient?

http://56.media.tumblr.com/fd62bd28e253e0231cb5cd6d00f5796a/tumblr_o3l456dHxz1ric2iqo1_1280.jpg

Sill Bimmons

No.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Dude, Margot Robbie could be wearing sticky garbage, coated with feces, and on fire…and I’d still buy her a private island if she asked.
But I WOULD ask her to shower first.

Col. Duke LaCross

Not in the slightest.

Sill Bimmons

ALL TEH OFFENSNIVE FAOULS

Sill Bimmons

I love how this ad has weights labeled “20 kg.”

Like anyone in America knows what the fuck a “kg” is.

montythisseemsstrangetome

A keg?

Sill Bimmons

Exactly.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Trump had to cancel his rally in Chicago because he was terrified of the 20 jg in the audience.

Sill Bimmons

/terrified of what “jg”might stand for

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yeah, was trying to figure how best to write that so Trump is the one using the term.

montythisseemsstrangetome

50/50 chance that at any given time, Huggy has a dead body in the trunk of his car.

Sill Bimmons

HE’S MAKING A TRACKSUIT OUT OF HUMAN SKIN HE’S BUFFALO BOB

Senor Weaselo

Drunk man drives snowmobile through Iditarod, kills one dog, injures three others
http://espn.go.com/moresports/story/_/id/14957908/snowmobile-strikes-iditarod-teams-kills-dog-injures-others

theeWeeBabySeamus

#sleddoglivesmatter

theeWeeBabySeamus

“An apologetic Demoski told the Alaska Dispatch News that he had not intentionally driven into the dog teams, but he had blacked out while returning from drinking in another village.

“I don’t care if people know if I was drinking and driving,” Demoski told the paper. “I’m really glad [Zirkle] and [King] are OK, and I really feel sorry for Nash.”

OK…first of all, WTF dude?
Second of all… Methinks somebody didn’t talk to their lawyer yet.

montythisseemsstrangetome

He’s a drunk driving dog killer, but he’s not a MONSTER.

Horatio Cornblower

I’m really sorry I just accidentally I just shot Demoski in the head 18 times; I don’t care if people know I was drinking and shooting.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Nausea meds have kicked in good now. I gotz to go eat something….I hope.
And try not to nod off while UVa is kicking Carolina’s ass….I hope.
Hopefully, while I’m munching and not puking (I hope) I can watch a Tracksuit U comeback, and KU’s tears will fill a bucket.
Up yours KU.

laserguru

Nice relaxing Saturday night, drinking some beers and watching some hoops?

NOOO! I’m slaving over a hot stove, doing a couple of hours of pre-prep for another edition of Sunday Gravy.

Do you see the sacrifices I make for your good folks?

Fuck it man. I’m just gonna smoke dope and they can all got to hell.

I may be getting into the shots early today.

What’s happening Commentist Party?

laserguru

I battled a bug for the last 3 days but I’m getting over it. Did a beautiful 5 miles along the beach today, had some Indian food and I am fucking ready to roll!

Sill Bimmons

Late night rugby mini-rivebrog @ 11:00 ET.

Sill Bimmons

YEP

theeWeeBabySeamus

Who are these “good folks” to whom you refer, Sir?

laserguru

I was assuming Dok was around.

Senor Weaselo

Way to copy my inability/refusal to dance in the bracket list.

Spanky Datass

Rum, ginger beer and kick-ass burritos made from leftovers are “what’s happening” at Casa de Spanky tonight.

Cheers!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Pulled some kalbi ribs out of the freezer, having some mojitos.

Sill Bimmons

Cousin fondlers on the comeback trail…

Sill Bimmons

Or any Kurt Rambis, for that matter.

Senor Weaselo

The New York Knicks beg to differ.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I thought I WAS the black Kurt Rambis!?!?!
-Kurt Rambis

Sill Bimmons

I’ll bet Lardaccino there is one of PK’s pet favorites.

Sill Bimmons

hehehehehe

WCS

go pirates of jersey

theeWeeBabySeamus

Dare we hope for Picolo Girl, redux?

Sill Bimmons

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Never gets old.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hahaha…I had forgotten about that.
Oh Kitty…good times indeed.

Croooow

Gus Johnson is the best.

Sill Bimmons

HALL WINS AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA FUCK YOU VILLANOVA

Sill Bimmons

NOT QUITE I THOUGHT IT WAS OVER

Sill Bimmons

GO HALL