[These were mine this morning]
So, in a totally different bent from Horatio’s slow march toward oblivion, here is a totally frivolous jog…
How the fuck do you cook your eggs?
My breakfast is quite often the runny yolk and whatever whites—cooked, not gelatinous—get scooped out along with it onto a buttered crumpet with pyramid salt or fleur de sel and cracked pepper and then swiftly crammed into my face while I rocket down the road at nearly felonious speeds off to whatever fresh hells await my day. Here’s how I get it:
- A quick puncture of the punt/air cell (I usually do 6 at a time)
- Bring to a boil and then turn off the heat immediately upon reaching it
- Keep eggs in hot water for 3 additional minutes
- Cold water bath for 10 minutes
- Peel as soon as they don’t scald the shit out of me
- Refrigerate for a later date with Crumpet Time!
If I could poach an egg well I would. Instead, I am the shame of my father for my weird stringy bird’s nest every damned time I try to make them.
What’s your eggy poison and how do you get it into your body?
Breakfast, as Covalent brought up a bit, is a deep rooted meal in many of us. My best breakfasts were camping or at the ranch with my grandfather or one of my uncles; some bacon, hash-browns similar to what Warthog described above, small fresh caught trout and eggs, all cooked in the same skillet, the tails on the trout curled up, the skin crispy from the bacon grease. We had a lot of ranch dogs and on Sunday they’d cook pancakes and a bacon gravy, twice as many cakes as we ate so we’d line the dogs up to catch pieces of pancake we’d throw. My mom would make “maple” syrup with molasses and sugar, sometimes we’d have chokecherry syrup. I must have had one of the best childhoods ever.
http://i22.photobucket.com/albums/b318/FMWarner/annveal_zpsz1uwowt4.jpg
My preference is to go down to the Polish breakfast place and get their “Pink Floyd” eggs benedict, which are eggs benedict with salmon and potato pancakes substituted for the bread base. They are delicious.
When I make eggs it’s usually three scrambled with cheese and some sort of meat thrown in before the eggs are whipped around, then cooked on high heat very quickly.
Love inventive eggs benedict recipes. There’s a place near me that makes a New Mexico benedict with pulled pork and hatch chiles. Fuckin’ great.
I would marry that egg dish.
I was in New Orleans at a place called Luc’s. They had a crab cake, tasso ham benedict with the frites on the side in the little cone dealie?
I have the go rinse off now.
I’m a fried egg guy, usually in some sort of collected fat from my freezer. Shallot oil is also awesome to cook them in.
What I really want to do, though, is get a couple of these to do baked eggs in. And little hashes and stuff. There’s a place around here that does that sort of thing and it’s awesome.
Cast iron is always a good idea.
Treat it nice and you will be rewarded by generations of goodness.
My cast iron skillet is in my will and testament.
Oh yeah, deviled eggs! I could eat an embarrassing amount of deviled eggs. I went to The Counter a few weeks back and they had bacon in their deviled egg filling.
I will be stealing this idea from here forward.
There just wasn’t enough cholesterol in the plain version!
I like mine over easy and laid on top of some buttered and salted toast. I’ll give it a little bit of cheddar and some Sriracha if I’m feeling frisky.
I like mine hard.
Oh you were asking how I like my eggs?
However, do you ever think about how the first humans decided to eat something a chicken crapped out of its birdgina? Or who decided to suck from a cow’s nipple until milk came out?
I always think about that when I see someone eating lobster. Who the fuck thought that horrifying, ugly animal looked like something good to eat?
Hunger is a great motivator. Thinking about the omnivore’s experimentation makes me think about behavioral evolution and survival in lean times. But then I’m a fuckin’ weirdo.
http://41.media.tumblr.com/0d2d68c50b4c199e807592cba93c342c/tumblr_njvl7c77I01rmnn70o1_1280.jpg
I usually fry my eggs in olive oil with lots of black and cayenne pepper put on just after they hit the hot frying pan, then dump some water in and QUICKLY cover to steam the top and cook the pepper in. I try to time the toast and espresso to come out at the same time.
That sounds delicious.
Kind of a half fry half poach.
We can build on this!
Why in the holy fuck have I never tried that before! Moose, you lovely evil genius, thank you!
My mom used to do similar (without the pepper, with bacon grease); I’m sure she got it from a few past generations. I do like the olive oil though, tasty and less heart clogging, even though the bacon grease was superb.
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mczycgxnos1rkqss0o1_500.gif
Given recent events, i would say you like them fertilized.
Great reply. So great I stole it. Not sure why it didn’t show this morning.
I would have thought your response would be “fertilized” given the new baby and all.
I’m a poacher, in that I steal my eggs from local henhouses.
Seriously though, I heat up a pan full of water and vinegar and crack them right into the boil.
3 minutes for runny, 5 minutes for firm.
Serve on an English muffin with tons of salt and pepper or Bimmonsaise style with Canadian bacon and this awesome cheese sauce I make.
[shortage of eggs announced]
[egg runs open]
[Tebow throws pass to ground three yards behind egg]
Once every couple of weeks, I will make a soft scrambled egg sandwich. I use a slice of swiss and some toasted rye bread. This is usually after a Saturday workout.
I also make what I call a philosopher burrito which contains, grilled chicken, scrambled eggs, cheddar cheese and some of my bragged about chile tepin all wrapped up in a warm flour tortilla.
And every now and then if I have leftover roast beef/corned beef I will make a hash using diced meat, partially cooked potatoes, diced onion, diced red pepper, garlic and salt and pepper. Throw all ingredients into a cast iron skillet(!!) Use another heavy dish or object of some type to press down on top of the hash, cook for seven minutes per side, toss on a plate and top with 2 or 3 fried eggs cooked over easy in 1/2 bacon grease and 1/2 butter.
I used to do eggs benedict when I was married: once for Mother’s Day and once on her birthday and the poached eggs were always a challenge. Not nearly the challenge of making fresh hollandaise though. That shit is a pain in the ass. It is delicious though.
Other than that, I’ve got nothing.
Bimmonsaise is a lot easier than Hollandaise.
I do the omelet by pouring in the hot pan and then as it cooks wrinkling up the egg “pancake” and turning the pan to get the uncooked part in contact with the pan surface; this procedure will make them very fluffy if the skillet is the right temperature. Goat cheese makes them very creamy tasting. The rest of the ingredients are totally dependent on the contents of my kitchen.
Goat cheese intrigues me.
I use it for a lot of things, including just putting out on the cheese board, very cream, but higher protein, lower fat. It almost is like cream cheese in the omelet. Plus goat milkers have a hard job.
http://40.media.tumblr.com/aefd7a9e61bd218bd32f77e094497139/tumblr_nqr6nt364a1r5e698o1_1280.jpg
I find eggs gross. Yeah, I weird.
So I have no idea if you would call it scrambled or an omelette, but pretty much what I do is this:
Cut meats and cheese into thin stringy slices (ham or salamis work best)
Break about 3 eggs into a cereal bowl
Use a fork to mix the yolks and whites together
Add spices
Put a pan on medium heat with some butter or oil in it
Add eggs
Let the eggs solidify a bit
Add cheese
Add sliced meats
Add more cheese
Fold over the eggs OR chop the whole thing up into a mush with spatula
Serve with salsa.
As noted above that’s pretty much what I do except the meat and cheese is added during the forking.
forking?
Scrambled or overeasy for me, depending on how I feel. Also, one of these days I’m gonna get brave (READ: motivated) and make these Graved Eggs I read about:
http://www.foodpeopleplaces.com/egg-recipes-graved-eggs/
That is freaking TERRIFYING.
I’m curious. Would those just be super runny eggs? Like Carl Lewis Eggs?
I’m not sure. The recipe says to clean off the yolks really well, so I’m guessing the salt and sugar at room temperature create a thin shell with a really runny yolk.
Wut.
Usually scrambled, but some weekends I just want to make some delicious eggs benedict, so I do. And then I get stressed out because I suuuuuuuuck at not breaking poached eggs, and I don’t repeat the experiment for at least a month.
Cook hashbrowns in bacon grease with onions, shallots, and peppers, when they’re crispy and ready to go, I spread them out and crack two eggs into the middle, flip once for over easy and onto the plate.
/I expect you’ve tried this, but in case you haven’t, a little vinegar in the water helps keep the egg together for poaching. Also give the water a quick spin with a blade or spoon just before dropping the egg in.
I’m a fried egg guy – almost always overeasy. HOWEVAH if there are peppers and onions available, I’ll rock out a scramble or an omlette. Eggs are really just an excuse to get bacon and hash browns into my face.
These are my go to preparation ways as well. Although I prefer overmedium.