Latest posts by Horatio Cornblower (see all)
- Horatio’s Dumbass Mock Draft 2.0 & 2019 NFL Draft Open Thread – April 25, 2019
- Someday My Prince Will Come, And That Day Is Here – April 23, 2019
- Horatio’s Wildly Inaccurate 2019 Mock Draft – March 20, 2019
Inspired by Rikki’s komment about albums in the weekend open thread. But in these days of personal music players and iTunes and what have you, who’s going to play a full album? We all know the last 2-3 songs are filler.
1. Caitlin Cary “Please Don’t Hurry Your Heart”
A little slow, probably kind of depressing when you’re all by yourself, but goddamn can she sing. I fucking love this song.
2. The McCoys “Hang on Sloopy”
It’s just a really great song. Also Sloopy is pretty hot and I’m going to need that image while cooling my heels on this goddamn island.
3. Motorhead “Ace of Spades”
At some point I made need to get motivated to swim for the mainland and this song might just get me there.
4. Old 97’s “Nashville”
Just a good song by a great band. This one might just remind me that someone’s more fucked than me.
5. Old 97’s “Longer Than You’ve Been Alive”
Uh-oh, I’ve only got 10 songs and I’m already repeating bands. Still the slow build-up on this one and the gradual descent, (ascent?), to chaos is too good to miss out on while I’m on this goddamn island. What’s wrong with you people anyway? Why aren’t any of you alerting the Coast Guard to my problems? Assholes.
6. The Gourds “Gin & Juice”
Probably my favorite cover song of all time, and it’s so damn upbeat that my toes will be twitching in the sand. As I slowly die of thirst. Seriously, CALL 911 YOU DICKS!!!
7. The Pogues “Sally MacLennane”
I included the lyrics because no one can understand Shane McGowan. But since no one gives a shit that I’m stuck here I guess I’ll have plenty of time to commit the lyrics to memory. I’ll bet you guys are having another get together in LA aren’t you? That’s OK, I’ll just drink the blood from this seagull I brained with a rock.
8. REM w Kate Pearson “Me in Honey”
Because that guitar riff gets me every time and because Kate Pearson’s voice is spectacular.
8. Rolling Stones “Star Star” a/k/a “Starfucker”
There’s about a million Rolling Stones songs I would choose but in addition to being a terrific rock song and, for obvious reasons, not exactly subject to being overplayed on the radio, the lyrics are hilarious.
9. The Ramones “Teenage Lobotomy”
As with the Stones there are any number of Ramones songs I could, and have, and will, play over and over again for roughly 2:14 at a clip, but this one serves to remind me that if I hadn’t spent so much time at Craig Nenninger’s house listening to this song and playing Dungeons & Dragons I might have some friends that would care enough that I was stuck on an island to do something about it. Not like you; you’re just waiting for the last song and thinking of your own 10 aren’t you? God you suck.
10. The Supersuckers “Born With A Tail”
Might be the best rock and/or roll song ever. Ever. These guys were my favorite band but the original line-up fell apart and the last time I saw them I think half of the new guys were more interested in meth than music. The lead singer/bass player was trying to hold it together with one other guy but I just found out their current tour has been canceled because he’s been diagnosed with cancer. You can go to their web-site and donate to his fund, as I seriously doubt he has health insurance. I mean, as long as you’re not doing anything to get me off this damn island. It’s cool though; I’ll just start eating my toes to stay alive.