Open thread? Open thread.
It’s a lazy dog dangling afternoon…
Open thread? Open thread.
Am currently eating a sandwich that sat in my car all day. Attempting to stave off any harmful bacteria with a Stone IPA. If I don’t survive, tell my wife hello.
The complaint thread is too far away so I complaining here. My wife and I have been remodeling our kitchen, Things were going as smoothly as they possibly could until yesterday. Our contractor calls and the flooring we bought that was supposed to match what was already laid in the entry way and dining area was dull. Noticeably dull under any light. We found a new flooring but it won’t be available to pick up until Friday. So until next week we have half concrete/half laminate flooring. Then, we find out that our counter tops will not be ready for install until next week. This wouldn’t be a major issue if it weren’t for the fact that my wife’s birthday is Saturday and we have people coming over. It’s gonna be awesome prepping food on plywood with no sink, dishwasher or stove to utilize. Oh and our contractor’s ex-mother-in-law passed away this morning so he’s dealing with that.
I hate renovations. I never want to do one again.
/still have two bathrooms that need to be done
//yes, my wife’s birthday is two weeks after our anniversary
///no one probably care but it helps to write it out for sanity purposes
Ohnoez. I think you are looking at this the wrong way!
“I still have two bathrooms that need to be done”–pouty face. Nope.
“I still have two bathrooms that need to be done”–smiley face, because that means you have two rooms to cook in PLUS a mostly jacked kitchen in case you or your guests wanted to get some splinters on the particle board like a macabre pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey sort of game!
Rent a port-a-loo for the special occasion for your lovely lady and boom! Extra birthday surprise!
Thankfully we have a third bathroom. Which funnily enough had to be redone as a contingency for our loan. Home ownership is awesome.
All I can say is: How’s your outdoor grill working?
Plenty of propane on hand thankfully. Charcoal is buried under contractors tools and tarps as well. Also have two crockpots which will be in use for two pulled pork recipes. Luckily fridge and freezer have been fully accessible throughout.
Hey guys, is this the open thread?
You’re in the wrong place. I think you’re looking for the snowpen thread.
Get out.
I’m going to steal “snowpen thread” at some point. I’m not asking permission.
At least give me a Quaalude first.
Religious nut or chronic masturbater about to finish?
http://36.media.tumblr.com/41447ebd84791b50e94939fe6c3b930f/tumblr_noiz0fusyu1r4ro7yo1_1280.png
http://41.media.tumblr.com/cd2d305dba16c3ae9b02d7b9cfdf6f0b/tumblr_noh7rwpuc51r4ro7yo1_1280.jpg
Seriously who is she/where is this picture from?
Maybe a meticulous masturbator in the middle of a session?
Martin it up in here.
http://33.media.tumblr.com/aeac57a067c04949b647caac7dfacb83/tumblr_nr5r29bvd01thej0ko1_500.gif
Martinize, if you will.
http://31.media.tumblr.com/bd0ab774d84d6ca4114f31bc0e282ddc/tumblr_nr5r29bvd01thej0ko5_500.gif
“Here’s to swimmin’ with bow-legged women.”
It’s been a little tedious at the office.
http://33.media.tumblr.com/625c533e8a22dd570a0375daea046760/tumblr_neblzeYPcn1rp0vkjo1_500.gif
MUST be good.
http://40.media.tumblr.com/67fd0b2b708f8e2ea36579b68411083a/tumblr_nptayfbsqk1tjhvm4o10_1280.png
Birthday idea for your child or grandchild.
You’re welcome.
http://41.media.tumblr.com/7f20bb5d7b4a2625ec837a61da90d19e/tumblr_ni7j4wl6VF1rd5rz4o1_500.jpg
http://40.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lxh6s29c6O1qbq021o1_1280.jpg
Open thread, right? Am I the only one that cannot giggle any harder every time they see Horatio’s WordPress horror of an avatar? That pink-lipped abomination brings me joy every time I see it.
Well, we all laugh at weird shit.
http://41.media.tumblr.com/eeaa7dea78f7c38faf668edf2e374c4f/tumblr_no7w1jdYqG1r4ro7yo1_1280.jpg
I’ve tried changing that a bunch of times. The profile on the dashboard, the last time I checked anyway, is something else entirely but on here it always comes out as the WordPress Horror.
It’s growing on me.
It’s hard to change your avatar when you’re stuffed inside a locker.
Casual Friday? It’s not a new concept, people.
http://36.media.tumblr.com/c425ea0aacb787b11f0f47988cba1521/tumblr_nrvc9idREP1qd33wso1_1280.jpg
That one sitting down is just jelly.
Speaking of which, having freshly ran out of a binge watching series I started with the first two episodes of Mad Men tonight.
I am all in. I was born into this era. I remember when Lucky Strike used “It’s Toasted” as an ad campaign.
Don’t spoil this shit for me or I will give you nothing but burnt Pop Tart recipes for a month.
I tried it a few times, it is a great show; I just personally couldn’t get into it.
http://33.media.tumblr.com/a1cc2eb8f5212d959ebfc3dbcdc0da1a/tumblr_nr286zYcJZ1qfr6udo1_500.gif
I binged the whole thing a couple of months before the final 8 episodes were shown. It starts strong but I found each season to be pretty much the same basic idea, just lather, rinse, repeat.
Very good acting though.
WAIT! THERE’S A SNACK BAR?!?!
http://41.media.tumblr.com/c4fb2312c0e2fdd97ea172a318076d65/tumblr_nqep63nfVG1qcbxdjo1_1280.png
And Kino!
THAT is the headline here!
Sex Kino…. non stop, maybe different from regular kino.
http://38.media.tumblr.com/29cae6a31788b4ce31cadb1844c26cb8/tumblr_nne0v2g9IF1rvt47eo1_400.gif
http://40.media.tumblr.com/e8080a701a97e3d2cc644c062a04d17e/tumblr_nqppcnDDmd1u5yu6to1_500.jpg
http://40.media.tumblr.com/98dab1fb21f4de35397db795714b8f1b/tumblr_nrl380Teu51qixrvwo1_1280.png
http://i.imgur.com/7ppFpAB.gif
I propose Martin’s team preview consist solely of Kate Upton gifs.
Hot out.
http://i.imgur.com/d8JrO4G.gif
I can’t decide what to post.
http://i.imgur.com/42Xh7Un.gif
This is all good.
BTW, which is your NFL team, Martin?
“No, it’s not a problem, you can try on clothes and do laundry here any time….. I just have to be here is all.”
http://40.media.tumblr.com/a31e6e51c70d1b3cb075afe5509e02ac/tumblr_nrwynrI8GN1thutuzo1_540.jpg
My lazy afternoon consisted of working, taking a couple of hours off to go whip a ball field into shape for a State championship play-off, (that my kid isn’t even in), going from there to the gym, and now getting home, eating dinner, and realizing that I smell like the back of a bus.
I’mma go shower as soon as I check out the chili cook-off thread.
Seeings how we both stayed up all night, she had convention shit all day, and neither of us had any real interest in going out, we ordered in from a local Italian place across the street from the hotel. We each order calzones, and halved them. At this point, I so hungry that I would consider – CONSIDER – eating something with mayonnaise in it (except crab cakes). These were two fantastic calzones. Until tomorrow….
WOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
all the Jerk Chickens!!!!!!
There was just a lemonade ad on and I got a cramp in my sublingual salivary gland.
Or, to do the inverse:
http://i.imgur.com/8qPxq.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/ATlhg.gif
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_llzhgazWCR1qexjfco1_500.gif
Let’s Not Make A Deal!
-not starring Monty Hall
Thing I just learned-
A Bloody Mary made with gin is called a Red Snapper!
Would you like the Red Snapper, or WHAT’S IN THE BOX?
Nice! [drinks from the fire hose]
(That was your cue to say “The box! I’LL TAKE THE BOX!”)
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lfenfrJN4j1qawrd4o1_500.gif
http://i.imgur.com/f7P0I.gif
I’ve used and heard that joke 1,467,982 times and still love it.
You know, if Gywneth Paltrow’s head was for real in that box and we never had to endure Goop, I’d have to think twice about how I felt about it.
I’d replace the gun with a toy gun that has a little flag that says “Thank You!” and we’d all have a good laugh.
Oh fuck a duck, I did so love that dumb-assed movie.
GOOOOOO TEAM NAWT-USA!!!!!
Today we’re teaching poodles how to fly!
I have a regular potluck with friends to go to tonight, and last night I made the Momofuku Milk Bar Crack Pie for it:
http://theletmeeatcake.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/IMG_5074.jpg
(not my photo)
It’s basically cookie dough custard pie (aka brown sugar chess pie) on a crust made out of a giant oatmeal cookie.
“You had me at ‘crack’.”
– Lawrence Taylor
I just opened a bag of chips!
Ketchup chips?
Wednesday is dill pickle chip night.*
*subject to change
http://www.reactiongifs.us/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/stop_penis_erect_archer.gif
I’ve made this before too, and now I think I need to make it again. What I love about this recipe is that it makes two pies. That avoids the whole “shit, that was good, I wish I had another one” spiral of regret.
Post it!
Gimme your book recs you goddamn savages-
I’m doing The Alienist-(an interesting who-dunnit) and Potsdam, a chronicle of the meeting between Stalin, Churchill (later Clement Atlee) and a wet behind the ears Harry S. Truman. Needless to say, Stalin wiped the floor with the neophytes.
Recent great books: “A List Of Things That Didn’t Kill Me” by Jason Schmidt (I’ll be reviewing this one soon), “The Martian” by Andy Weir (science + fiction!), and “The Professional” by W.C. Heinz (a wonderful classic sports writing style story of a boxer, with an ending that just breaks your sports-loving heart).
Just finished Cryptonomicon; very good but not sure it was worth the time investment (1000+ pages). Probably looking to read The Stars My Destination next.
If you’re interested in more Stalin, Bloodlands is really good.
Bloodlands was eye-opening. That book led me to Potsdam.
I’m going to have to check out Potsdam then!
“That’s flagrant false advertising!”
– Josh Gordon, upon visiting Potsdam
I’ll go the opposite and recommend that you not read ‘Red Nile’. I hate to give up on books but holy hell it’s tough.
Also my wife and I watched ‘Blue Jasmine’ last night and all I can say is at least it’s not 99 minutes long, it’s only 98.
You can’t pay me to watch a Woody Allen movie.
Not even the one with Scarlett Johannsen? It’s actually pretty good.
I have the Internet to see Scarlett naked. I don’t need to see the movie.
I just finished a thriller that casts a harsh shadow over the patriarchal American nuclear family. A sexually unsatisfied housewife, portrayed as a literal dog, is forced to stay home as the sole caretaker of her only child, who is careless and disrespectful. She tirelessly goes through her daily motions, trapped in mundane routine, all for the unrequited approval of her absent husband, who doesn’t appear until the third act. When he finally arrives, late and unannounced, he praises the undisciplined boy while averting her longing pleas for approval. I highly recommend “Spot Bakes a Cake.”
I was thinking about starting a DFO Book Corner post where all of us book nerds can share suggestions, reviews and discuss all things literature.
Is there a shared interest out there?
/book nerd
I’m in. I read Bloodlands due to King Hippo’s recommendation and it was a damn good book.
I would love to get more suggestions and/or provide some of my own.
I’ve been meaning to do a book post on a book I read recently, actually. Give me another day and I’ll get on that.
My above post was typed without bothering to refresh. Yes, I’m an egghead who likes my bookie-books.
Absolutely. I have been on a book binge ever since I’ve gone from semi-recluse to damned-near full recluse (and especially so since footbaw season ended).
I can’t recommend Per Petterson enough. So depressing and thus delightful (to me). I have been looking for something good on both Churchill (that was neither fawning nor foaming at the mouth critical – hey, even Nixonland managed to be nuanced, and that’s the style I like) and Uncle Joe, so I shall definitely put Potsdam on the list.
So how’s that Frank Bill working out for you?
I fucking loved it.
I’ll never drive through Indiana or Ohio again.
Ferocious stuff.
Very good. Going to head to the coffeeshop this am to finish Crimes (I like how there is so much blood and death and hopelessness even in the very short stories), then Donnybrook is on deck. Too bad he (like the Knockemstiff dude) only has written two so far, but Potsdam is on the way. YAY Amazon.
I just felt like filling the house with the rich, satisfying smell of tobacco.
Headed off to flavor country, eh?
Disguising the smell of the chili cook-off:
I have a kids v. parents baseball game tonight. Usually a a few dads get hit in the nuts and last year an over-exuberant dad lined one off of a 7 year-old’s head. Good times.
Someone should collect footage of t-ball dads getting hit in the nuts with come-backers and splice them together with Yakety Sax as the soundtrack. Much like this youtube gem:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6dZAwBcH4Kw
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_e_QRSvPmeZA/TDd8XAH12YI/AAAAAAAAAPc/Z0GjJHdup9s/s1600/my+groin!.jpg
My kid now throws 80 and has a nasty cutter with limited control over either pitch.
I am fucking terrified of hitting against him.
I’m currently sitting in a hotel room in Washington D.C., have been up for over 36 hours, was nearly involved in what most-likely would have been two fatal accidnets on the drive here, and I need to eat dinner.
Also, Weezer’s “Buddy Holly” is being used in a Honda commercial. This is grounds for charges of crimes against humanity.
Northern Virginia freeways are the WORST. And I say this as a resident of Los Angeles.
That is why everyone is such an asshole there (I lived in Springfield, VA for 18 months), it really is a meat grinder.
Small world, I used to date a girl who lived in Burke.
Coincidentally, she was also a very small girl.
Actually, this occurred entirely within Maryland. I suspect it was a plot by JJ Foz and other Ravens fans to finish me for good.
How long are you in dc? I have a weird work schedule this week, but hit me up if you’re bored.
Leaving Sunday afternoon. Things are strange on this end, as well. This convention is a bizarre one. Anyway, if you’re in or around the Woodley Park area, I’m at the Marriott.
When did this site become Grindr?
This isn’t Bathroom Door Flies Open?
So apparently my new barber also cuts Mychal Rivera’s (Raiders TE) hair. I know that’s a peppery bit of gossip for a subdued thread like this, but I just had to share.
Ask him when the sister shows up. I may need a haircut soon…
I think it is pretty unlikely that Naya patronizes this barber shop, which is literally surrounded by a car wash.
She’s pretty Mexican. I wouldn’t put it by her…
I wouldn’t put it *by* her either, if you catch my drift, wink wink…
I don’t shoot straight anymore either.
Can he give you a haircut that you can set your watch to?
Nobody has yet been able to tame my wild locks, but it was a perfectly cromulent haircut. A bit on the expensive side but it’s nice to have someone who speaks English that I can talk to about sports.
I got my last haircut 20 years ago this October.
At $15 per, I figure that’s saved me about $3600.
Add in the other stuff and I owe my premature baldness $5K.
The woman who has been cutting my (increasingly diminishing) hair has, over the last few years, been moving into Tea Party politics and she will not shut up about it and she has no idea on God’s green earth what she is talking about.
I’d argue with her but she’s usually got a razor near my ear.
Am I the only cheap motherfucker that cuts his own hair? I always keep it fairly short and I just use one of those electric shaver things.
http://forum.dontpayfull.com/attachments/flowbee-haicut-system-for-facebo-readers-gif.3089/
No joke, when my friends heard I cut my own hair, they started calling me Flowbee.
When that product came out my father was certain that the USA had clearly reached super world domination level by freeing us from the barber cartel (I guess?). Here is the problem: since he still could never figure out how to use it he had me use it to cut his hair. He thought the Flowbee did such a great job he bought a second one to have on reserve in case the first one failed in a few decades because of its superb craftsmanship. What he never knew was that I was so mortified of using that thing I would just ‘boop’ him repeatedly on the head and then say I was “just trimming up” at the end and then just scissor his hair like not a weirdo.
So there you go. I view being called “Flowbee” a badge of honor in terms of inventive ways to correct a hideous scenario. Also, your hair looked lovely, so fuck ’em.
The haircut is the only thing I’m not cheap about. I am not a vain and Lord knows not a handsome man by any stretch of the imagination, I guess I just want Sam Malone to know his life lesson struck home with me.
/too lazy to find YouTube clip
So true… I mean, a 10-12 dollar haircut was all I used to go for but now I go to this hairstylist and tell her to cut my hair like she would want her boyfriend’s to look like.
It oddly always seems to be the same style.
Yeah, the same lady has been cutting my hair since my sophomore year at State, and I don’t even instruct, she just does as she sees fit. Cut/style, eyebrow wax (FACK YOU, I am not going Hodor) and tip is $90, and that’s only because I don’t live in a real goddamned city.
ah, I recall Sammy’s full line at least “There are no bad boys, just boys with bad haircuts.” (the episode where the 12-year old steals his little black book)
For $90, Yeah Right can recommend a massage parlor that will leave you satisfied and with enough money for a burger and a craft beer.
Possibly with monkey bars. I’m with Sill. I haven’t cut my hair in 7 years.
I have to pay the woman from Viet Nam $475 just to wax my balls, and she even enjoys the screaming.
That is a weird expression; I’ve always heard “He can give you a haircut you can chase a goat with.” Maybe that was just rural Colorado.