[DOOR FLIES OPEN]

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Team Preview Housekeeping

Covalent Blonde

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If you see your name in this sexy Niners-ish color below there has been a change from the earlier schedule and confirm that it is A-OK with you or cry quietly to yourself if it is not

Balls of Steel and Cuntler did a great job of getting a list out there last week of team previews and the collective effort in volunteering was outstanding!  However, with the rather recent tidal wave of friends at [DOOR FLIES OPEN], it seems wise to repost the initial sign-up to see if anyone would like to get in on some preview writing action.

The Schedule as it stands:

NFC East – 7/27, 7/28, 7/29, 7/30

NFC North – 8/10, 8/11, 8/12, 8/13

  • Packers: Mike Wallace and Gromit / packman_jon
  • Bears: Cuntler/BFC (8/10)
  • Lions: Trollsoharduniversity
  • Vikings: yeah right (8/11) /Pickett’s Charge

 NFC West – 8/24, 8/25, 8/26, 8/27

  • Rams: DTZM
  • Seahawks: Beastmode Ate My Baby
  • Cardinals: Blaxxabbath (previously Balls) (8/26)
  • 49ers:  Covalent Blonde (8/24)

NFC South – 9/7, 9/8, 9/9, 9/10

  • Panthers: King Hippo
  • Saints: Electric Mayhem
  • Falcons: RTD
  • Buccaneers: Sep

AFC East –  8/3, 8/4, 8/5, 8/6:

  • Patriots: Electric Mayhem
  • Bills:  Electric Mayhem/Upstate Underdog
  • Jets: Lord Revisisle
  • Dolphins: Warthog

AFC North – 8/17, 8/18, 8/19, 8/20

  • Steelers: Balls/Sill/WCS (8/17)
  • Ravens: JJ Fozz
  • Browns: Covalent Blonde (8/18)
  • Bengals: Vontaze Me, Bro

AFC West – 8/31, 9/1, 9/2, 9/3

  • Raiders: RTD
  • Chargers: OSZ/sunshine sunshine
  • Broncos:  King Hippo
  • Chiefs:  Monty

AFC South – 9/7, 9/8, 9/9, 9/10

  • Colts: Covalent Blonde/Sep (9/8)
  • Jaguars: Balls (9/7)
  • Texans (who?): Duchess
  • Titans (what?): Make it snow

If you have a team you want to write up get into contact with whomever is listed and come up with a sharable format that works for you.

The bar has been set mighty high by Zymm, WhyEaglesWhy, Scotchnaut, and Horatio and we all look forward to the good efforts coming forth from everyone else!  In summary:  if you want it, git’ya some!

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Old School Zero

I’ve been taking lots of notes and jotting down the random jokes that pop into my head, and I’m nearly ready to UNLEASH THE BOLTMAN [opening strands of Thunderstruck begin to play].

And then you’ll all have to wait.

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King Hippo

Speaking of reviewers…is Fozz still alive? He’s the only one I don’t recall having seen since the great Friday unpleasantness.

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Covalent Blonde

He hasn’t checked in, but he does have an account here from long, long ago.

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Cuntler

Whoa. I already started the Lions one. You people and your Sunday usurping.

Edit: Eh, fuck it. It is all yours, TSHU.

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Warthog

I’m ready to go with the Dolphins. Any day suits me. If no one objects, I’ll go Monday.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Go for it. Monday is yours!

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Warthog

Monday it is. I even have a haiku.

/ducks

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Beastmode Ate My Babies and I agreed on the Eagles post that he can have the Seachickens, but he better get busy.

http://36.media.tumblr.com/12e5270ffffbb89576da74e2dadc6269/tumblr_nkgygm50yi1r4ro7yo1_1280.png

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Covalent Blonde

Yeah, you absolutely did and I can’t tell why I never transferred that over. Sorry. Thanks for the reminder.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, it was late…….. very late.

Mr. Mode better get cooking.

http://38.media.tumblr.com/e9897f8ced59e364e6b2c503bd8756a1/tumblr_nbx9di9QrC1s31ttxo9_500.gif

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Beastmode Ate My Baby

Look, I’ve already berated two baristas today, run the first 100m of a 2k race and sent two heartfelt love letters requests for interviews to Peyton Manning.

This journalism stuff is hard.

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Sharkbait

Still better at it than PK

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Covalent Blonde

Also, I am pretty sure that is open season for the Cards, Saints, Lions, and Jags for anyone interested–unless BoS suddenly has a hard on for the Jags that I was unaware of.

*BoS has some pretty efficient neuroses! Shit! Nice hustle!

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ballsofsteelandfury

I did already write the Jags one (Hard-on status=ON!), but it is so light on actual football analysis that I would welcome for someone to actually talk real football in the preview. Assuming, of course, Jags fans exist.

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blaxabbath

I’ll dabble in Cards. I’m a field general. I have playoff experience.

I am Ryan Lindley.

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trollsoharduniversity

I’ll do the Lions.

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Covalent Blonde

Feel free to sign up to share a team, too. If you want to write for a beloved or a beloathed team that is already spoken for, hop on board and make it a party! No Me First Gloreeee Boys allowed!

For example, it turns out every time I go to write up the 49ers I start to feel like weeping and then have to grab a beer to keep from crying so if anyone wants to co-author the Niners, I would be ecstatic. That way you guys won’t have to suffer through what we can just all safely assume is going to be drunken, blubbery whining about how the Golden State Warriors will win Lord Stanley’s World Super Bowl Series Cup. I’m gonna need a blanket and some hot cocoa for this.

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Brick Meathook

I’ll cover Los Angeles (Santa Monica College, Cal State Northridge, Westchester High School, etc.) if necessary.

IF necessary.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Do you live in LA? You know, we’re having a get-together soon….

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blaxabbath

Chargers?

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...

I’d volunteer to offer Bears insight, but ultimately I’d just stare at a screen for 15 minutes before uttering an exasperated sigh and closing my laptop.

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Covalent Blonde

And I would pay to see it!

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blaxabbath

“Why bother opening the laptop?”

-Jay Cutler

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Lothar of the Hill People

So… the Lovie Smith coaching style?

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King Hippo

I double dipped with the Panthers because I live in NC and have thusly absorbed some pseudo-knowledge of them. If anyone is a fan and/or wants to flex their snarky blogging chops, I am glad to focus my shitty efforts on my beloved Donks.

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trollsoharduniversity

I am willing to do any team, including the teams of the allegedly existing AFC South.

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Horatio Cornblower

I’ll take one of the ones people are doubled up on if anyone wants to cut their workload. Just let me know.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Excellent job, Covalent! Thanks for putting this up.

Reminder to the AFC East folks, please pick a day for next week and update the calendar above. We want to space out the posts to give them time to breathe like a fine wine. (Or so I’ve heard. I’m not a big wine guy.)

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Duchess

I’m willing to write for the Texans

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ballsofsteelandfury

Wooooo! I’m sure make it snow will be happy as he no longer has to make stuff up about a fictional team!

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blaxabbath

So he’s not interested in writing for the Golden Football League?

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makeitsnowondem

By all means. I signed up initially because we didn’t have any Texans fans yet,

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ballsofsteelandfury

Done and done. The Texans are yours.

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