Bye Bye, Kissing Suzy Kolber

A long, long time ago

I can still remember how those dick jokes used to make me smile

And I knew if I created an account

That I could make those komments count

And maybe make the Komments of the Week

But first Big Daddy Drew went packing

When Matt left, the mailbag’s lacking

Sexy Friday has left

I wouldn’t see one more breast

I can’t remember my mouth agape

When I read the tweet from Christmas Ape

But something left me in bad shape

The day the dick jokes died

So bye, bye, Kissing Suzy Kolber

What will become of the site now, I’m really not sure

And them good ol’ boys and even sometimes a girl

Sayin’ Roger Goodell’s worse than Hitler

Roger Goodell’s worse than Hitler

Did you write a Trent Green joke

And did you make fun of fat hump Colts

If the joke was sitting there?

Now do you believe in the Jeff George Least

Do you remember the Sean Taylor Meast

And can you handle Skittle-takes from Beef Moe?

Well I know that Aaron Rodger’s straight

‘Cause I saw him pictured on a date

Some folks they saw a beard

Maybe Olivia Munn’s just weird

Eli’s a pre-schooler playing quarterback

And he’s got Tom Brady by the sack

But I knew I wouldn’t be coming back

The day the dick jokes died

I started singing bye, bye Kissing Suzy Kolber

What will become of the site now, I’m really not sure

Them good ol’ boys and even sometimes a girl

Sayin’ Roger Goodell’s worse than Hitler

Roger Goodell’s worse than Hitler

Now for nine years we’ve been cracking wise

And for that, Janay apologized

But that’s not how it’s supposed to be

When NFL Memes started making waves

With a cartoon that they stole from Dave

And some jokes that came from you and me

Oh just long enough for a girl to blink

Darren Sharper had spiked her drink

His courtroom sentence came

But he’ll still be Hall of Fame

And while the Sex Cannon’s going deep

Rex Ryan’s ogling someone’s feet

And we watched Too Many Cooks on repeat

The day the dick jokes died

We were singing bye, bye Kissing Suzy Kolber

What will become of the site now, I’m really not sure

Them good ol’ boys and even sometimes a girl

Sayin’ Roger Goodell’s worse than Hitler

Roger Goodell’s worse than Hitler

Wars fought over girl scout cookies

The trolls acting like naïve rookes

Nat Turner and Underball

They got under CBQUE’s skin

A flawa no one ever wins

With Otto suddenly nowhere at all

Now at halftime Dorito Dink lets out the air

While Brady is “generally aware”

We all could give a shit

Oh, but the coverage won’t quit

‘Cause Dreamboat won’t give up his phone

The media can’t leave it alone

Reasonable fans made Spilly moan

The day the dick jokes died

He started singing bye, bye Kissing Suzy Kolber

What will become of the site now, I’m really not sure

Them good ol’ boys and even sometimes a girl

Sayin’ Roger Goodell’s worse than Hitler

Roger Goodell’s worse than Hitler

Oh, and there we were all in komments

A kommunity with much more sense

Than PFT could hope to form

So come on, make it snow, and OSZ

Horatio, Cuntler, and Vontaze-Me

‘Cause if your not with us theirs teh door

Oh and as I read the Bud Light post

I laughed and tweeted Sam a joke

But no more the post would stay

Uproxx took it away

And as the komments vanished one by one

Deleting Moose’s gifs and puns

I saw this was no longer as much fun

The day the dick jokes died.

I was singing bye, bye Kissing Suzy Kolber

What will become of the site now, I’m really not sure

Them good ol’ boys and even sometimes a girl

Sayin’ Roger Goodell’s worse than Hitler

Roger Goodell’s worse than Hitler

I found some guys had a new site

I checked out KSK Kommenters on the Side

It was Balls of Steel and RTD.

It turned into Door Flies Open

DTZM helped run this little gem

And the men there said the dick jokes here would be.

And on the web, the trolls still scream

The spambots spam and the bloggers meme

But no takedown of PK.

We’ll never ASK SOMEBODAAAAAY

And the writers who began the task

Like Ufford, Drew, Ape, and Maj

They have more than earned their badge

The day the dick jokes died

And they were singing bye, bye Kissing Suzy Kolber

What will become of the site now, I’m really not sure

And them good ol’ boys and even sometimes a girl

Sayin’ Roger Goodell’s worse than Hitler

Roger Goodell’s worse than Hitler

They were singing bye, bye Kissing Suzy Kolber

What will become of the site now, I’m really not sure

Them good ol’ boys and even sometimes a girl

Sayin’ Roger Goodell’s worse than Hitler