Things did not get off to a good start yesterday for Marcus Mariota, the #2 overall pick in the 2015 NFL draft. On his first drive, he got sacked, then threw an interception (on a screen pass!) that was almost returned for a touchdown. On his second drive, he got stripped of the ball, which then WAS returned for a touchdown. He settled in nicely enough after that (against Atlanta’s second-stringers) but it was an inauspicious debut for the 2014 Heisman winner.
Today, we’ll get to a look at the player that most experts predicted would (and should) be picked ahead of Mariota: Jameis Winston. The last time we watched him play football, this happened. We’ll see if things go a little better today.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7LT3mYxz-8
first comment…and it blows
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LANA! THE HELIUM!
HA! That episode was on FXX this morning; made my airship rigid … good times.
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WHY DOES HE REMOVE THE BANDOLIER!?!
He was probably returning some video tapes anyway.
yay!
http://33.media.tumblr.com/940692b48abd12f39d37369082a64d9e/tumblr_nqzpcsYrQs1qa70eyo5_400.gif
Apparently Chip Kelly has announced Nacho as the starter next week. I am delighted not to be an Eagles fan.
“Nacho, you’re not a threatening enough minority for me to trade or cut, so go out there and get your back wet.”
Sanchez: “Aren’t 16 year old girls too small to play RB, coach? “
Are you really surprised that a guy named “Chip” would show favoritism towards a guy nicknamed “Nacho”?
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The second preseason game.
The bar has the NFL Network on showing “highlights” from the preseason games so far. I may need to leave before they start reairing the Texans game.
Who else is watching the Tigers beat the crap out of the Suns?
/crickets
It’s AFL, btw.
Also, Why Eagles Why, who lives in Adelaide, is probably not watching this.
In fact, I was not. I was hosting a party for my girlfriend’s relatives. I’m not sure which is better.
King Laserface to stay with the Chargers until 2019, The Rapture, or Rick Santorum is elected President. Whichever happens first.
YA BETTA RESIGN SOMEBOOOOOOODDDDDDYYYYYYYYYY
He’s the hero San Diego deserves, but not the one it needs right now. So we’ll insult him. Because he can take it. Because he’s not our hero. He’s a mouth eyed guardian, a watchful pro creator. A derp knight.
http://i.imgur.com/m3iLdjj.gif
Welp. I’m thinking I shouldn’t have eaten that entire bag of LSD gummy bears.
I call ’em groovy bears.
http://i.imgur.com/741Ixw5.gif
Marmalard contract extension!
I predict two more kids before he retires.
2?! That’s only the under.
A victory formation in an early preseason game? Kind of pointless isn’t it?
It’s something you’re expecting to use in the regular season, so yeah, you might as well practice it like everything else. Cleveland and Tennessee, you can probably just sit this one out.
Welp, this thread may be it……
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Beefeater 24 is a delicious gin. For some reason, the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania is selling it for $19.99 a bottle; cheapest I found online was $35.
Yeah , yeah Marcus Mariota is the suckiest bla bla blaH. Hey: the most legendary QBs crap the bed first, then come the heroics. Curiously, the same arc as male leads in lame comedies. So there: Marcus = Favre.
Do…do we have our first tiny Rolling of the Tide?
Must be some fine tasting Kool-Aid, Stagger Lee.
Nah, nothing yet. Can’t get riled about nothin’. Too early even for notions. As to Tide Rolling
/insert Amanda Seyfried eye roll meme from Mean Girls
Wait, does Marcus = Favre mean our favorite Oregon Duck has a small penis?
It only looks short because it’s corkscrew-shaped.
You mean there are people out there who overreact to preseason performances???
GET THE FUCK OUT OF DAMN TOWN!!
I was having this discussion earlier.
For the record, I have don’t have a problem with Mariotta or the Titans. I’m just sickened by the idea of PK finding a new Brittfar to worship.
damn glad you’re here.
http://i.imgur.com/I1nE3iJ.gif
I’m not sure if its been said before, but Uproxx got rid of KSK. It probably had something to do with all of us recreating the scene where the Deltas walk out while Vermer is yelling that they’re expelled.
I thought it was the hard core porn.
Just because of this, I went and checked. You’ll be delighted to know that Uproxx Sports has a great feature on the 20 Greatest NBA Nicknames Since Magic Johnson.
I’ve often said that when it comes to nicknames, there are are two main eras. Of course there is After Magic and Before Magic….
Such great #content, you guys. #Upforwhatever.
AM and BM
Its so haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaard to say goodbye…..
The person who decided that “digital” was the perfect style for the Buc’s new numerals should be drug out into the street and shot.
I assume drugs already played their part in the decision-making process.
Well, it IS Tampa we’re talking about…
Tampa Bay has announced that they have no interest in signing Jason Pierre-Paul, stating that “he’s simply not digital enough for this franchise.”
It would be nice if they allowed kickers to wear the number 0. That way, Brandon Bogotay could pose in between Kenny Bell and Tim Wright for the world’s greatest picture.
Whoever is issued #12 should have their uniform number blink on and off.
I have to tell you all that some of the greatest people around live in this God forsaken drought ridden, bicycle riding, Heineken drinking, third world visiting, pastrami eating hot pocket that we call L.A.
Some of them are even real!
How the fuck you doing boys?
I’m sitting at a chef’s table right next to where the chef is yelling at the kitchen staff. It’s intense.
Forget your glasses at home, Trent?
https://twitter.com/blackhanside/status/632556290934308864
I’ve already said this, but it bears repeating:
Fuck Ride Along 2 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iWfmmwdCHTg
How can this bee?
*Short no-contact training camps, limited practices.
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Honey Bear says “WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTHU?!?”
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Do you think he’s forcing it?
This Aussie Rugby runner for the 49ers is fun to watch.
Waiting patiently for the backup’s backups to play in the 2nd half.
BRING BACK TEH GIRAFFE!!
/NC State homer
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Winstorception!
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Monster jihad is the worst jihad.
Nasal jihad.
“…and that’s how my Vikings family became a bunch of front-running sellouts…”
I can’t believe those muthafuckas returned for another season.
Can I call the Kevin White story for parody?
http://i.imgur.com/1j70CTR.gif
Will it involve a pep talk with David Terrell?
I’m thinking the Ghosts of Bears Receivers Past. D’Wayne Bates isn’t busy…
I can’t believe Curtis Conway is allowed on television.
Will Wendell Davis’s knees make an appearance?
Wendell Davis’ knees went into the Witness Protection Program in 1993. They now own the Qwick Shop convenience store in Owasso, Oklahoma.
“What, Wendell Davis’ Knees? Nah, never heard of ‘im. Mah name’s Skeeter, Ah owns the Qwick Shop here in town.”
-Wendell Davis’ knees
This is not Winston’s finest hour.
Jameis Winston 0-3 so far.
What a coincidence, the State of Florida is 0-3 against Winston.
I will never tire of watching that Rose Bowl highlight.
schadenfreudelicious