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Preseason Week 1 Open Thread: It’s Jameis Winston’s First Time, Please Be Gentle

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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http://fansided.com/2015/05/08/jameis-winston-sexual-assault-allegations-countersuit/

Things did not get off to a good start yesterday for Marcus Mariota, the #2 overall pick in the 2015 NFL draft.  On his first drive, he got sacked, then threw an interception (on a screen pass!) that was almost returned for a touchdown.  On his second drive, he got stripped of the ball, which then WAS returned for a touchdown.  He settled in nicely enough after that (against Atlanta’s second-stringers) but it was an inauspicious debut for the 2014 Heisman winner.

Today, we’ll get to a look at the player that most experts predicted would (and should) be picked ahead of Mariota: Jameis Winston.  The last time we watched him play football, this happened.  We’ll see if things go a little better today.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7LT3mYxz-8

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joey j

first comment…and it blows

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Curse of Marino

LANA! THE HELIUM!

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Spanky Datass

HA! That episode was on FXX this morning; made my airship rigid … good times.

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laserguru

yay!

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Apparently Chip Kelly has announced Nacho as the starter next week. I am delighted not to be an Eagles fan.

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

“Nacho, you’re not a threatening enough minority for me to trade or cut, so go out there and get your back wet.”

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ballsofsteelandfury

Sanchez: “Aren’t 16 year old girls too small to play RB, coach? “

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Are you really surprised that a guy named “Chip” would show favoritism towards a guy nicknamed “Nacho”?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The second preseason game.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

The bar has the NFL Network on showing “highlights” from the preseason games so far. I may need to leave before they start reairing the Texans game.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Who else is watching the Tigers beat the crap out of the Suns?

/crickets

It’s AFL, btw.

Also, Why Eagles Why, who lives in Adelaide, is probably not watching this.

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WhyEaglesWhy

In fact, I was not. I was hosting a party for my girlfriend’s relatives. I’m not sure which is better.

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WCS

King Laserface to stay with the Chargers until 2019, The Rapture, or Rick Santorum is elected President. Whichever happens first.

YA BETTA RESIGN SOMEBOOOOOOODDDDDDYYYYYYYYYY

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Curse of Marino

He’s the hero San Diego deserves, but not the one it needs right now. So we’ll insult him. Because he can take it. Because he’s not our hero. He’s a mouth eyed guardian, a watchful pro creator. A derp knight.

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blackroseMD1

http://i.imgur.com/m3iLdjj.gif

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...

Welp. I’m thinking I shouldn’t have eaten that entire bag of LSD gummy bears.

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WCS

I call ’em groovy bears.

http://i.imgur.com/741Ixw5.gif

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ballsofsteelandfury

Marmalard contract extension!

I predict two more kids before he retires.

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

2?! That’s only the under.

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Brick Meathook

A victory formation in an early preseason game? Kind of pointless isn’t it?

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s something you’re expecting to use in the regular season, so yeah, you might as well practice it like everything else. Cleveland and Tennessee, you can probably just sit this one out.

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WCS

Beefeater 24 is a delicious gin. For some reason, the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania is selling it for $19.99 a bottle; cheapest I found online was $35.

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Don T

Yeah , yeah Marcus Mariota is the suckiest bla bla blaH. Hey: the most legendary QBs crap the bed first, then come the heroics. Curiously, the same arc as male leads in lame comedies. So there: Marcus = Favre.

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WCS

comment image

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The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Do…do we have our first tiny Rolling of the Tide?

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laserguru

Must be some fine tasting Kool-Aid, Stagger Lee.

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Don T

Nah, nothing yet. Can’t get riled about nothin’. Too early even for notions. As to Tide Rolling
/insert Amanda Seyfried eye roll meme from Mean Girls

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ballsofsteelandfury

Wait, does Marcus = Favre mean our favorite Oregon Duck has a small penis?

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Martin

It only looks short because it’s corkscrew-shaped.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You mean there are people out there who overreact to preseason performances???

GET THE FUCK OUT OF DAMN TOWN!!

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laserguru

I was having this discussion earlier.

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WCS

For the record, I have don’t have a problem with Mariotta or the Titans. I’m just sickened by the idea of PK finding a new Brittfar to worship.

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laserguru

damn glad you’re here.

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Redshirt

http://i.imgur.com/I1nE3iJ.gif

I’m not sure if its been said before, but Uproxx got rid of KSK. It probably had something to do with all of us recreating the scene where the Deltas walk out while Vermer is yelling that they’re expelled.

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ballsofsteelandfury

I thought it was the hard core porn.

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synapticmisfires

Just because of this, I went and checked. You’ll be delighted to know that Uproxx Sports has a great feature on the 20 Greatest NBA Nicknames Since Magic Johnson.

I’ve often said that when it comes to nicknames, there are are two main eras. Of course there is After Magic and Before Magic….

Such great #content, you guys. #Upforwhatever.

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montythisseemsstrangetome

AM and BM

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Curse of Marino

Its so haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaard to say goodbye…..

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Redshirt

The person who decided that “digital” was the perfect style for the Buc’s new numerals should be drug out into the street and shot.

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The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

I assume drugs already played their part in the decision-making process.

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WCS

Well, it IS Tampa we’re talking about…

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Tampa Bay has announced that they have no interest in signing Jason Pierre-Paul, stating that “he’s simply not digital enough for this franchise.”

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ballsofsteelandfury

It would be nice if they allowed kickers to wear the number 0. That way, Brandon Bogotay could pose in between Kenny Bell and Tim Wright for the world’s greatest picture.

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WhyEaglesWhy

Whoever is issued #12 should have their uniform number blink on and off.

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laserguru

I have to tell you all that some of the greatest people around live in this God forsaken drought ridden, bicycle riding, Heineken drinking, third world visiting, pastrami eating hot pocket that we call L.A.

Some of them are even real!

How the fuck you doing boys?

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m sitting at a chef’s table right next to where the chef is yelling at the kitchen staff. It’s intense.

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Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Forget your glasses at home, Trent?

https://twitter.com/blackhanside/status/632556290934308864

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Defensive Back Mike Wallace

I’ve already said this, but it bears repeating:

Fuck Ride Along 2 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iWfmmwdCHTg

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

How can this bee?

*Short no-contact training camps, limited practices.

http://40.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2z7rtbNVK1qzt15co1_1280.jpg

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Do you think he’s forcing it?

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Spur

This Aussie Rugby runner for the 49ers is fun to watch.

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scotchnaut

Waiting patiently for the backup’s backups to play in the 2nd half.

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King Hippo

BRING BACK TEH GIRAFFE!!

/NC State homer

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Defensive Back Mike Wallace

Winstorception!

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scotchnaut

Monster jihad is the worst jihad.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Nasal jihad.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“…and that’s how my Vikings family became a bunch of front-running sellouts…”

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King Hippo

I can’t believe those muthafuckas returned for another season.

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The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Can I call the Kevin White story for parody?

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...

Will it involve a pep talk with David Terrell?

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The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

I’m thinking the Ghosts of Bears Receivers Past. D’Wayne Bates isn’t busy…

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I can’t believe Curtis Conway is allowed on television.

Will Wendell Davis’s knees make an appearance?

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The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Wendell Davis’ knees went into the Witness Protection Program in 1993. They now own the Qwick Shop convenience store in Owasso, Oklahoma.

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montythisseemsstrangetome

“What, Wendell Davis’ Knees? Nah, never heard of ‘im. Mah name’s Skeeter, Ah owns the Qwick Shop here in town.”
-Wendell Davis’ knees

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scotchnaut

This is not Winston’s finest hour.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Jameis Winston 0-3 so far.

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Horatio Cornblower

What a coincidence, the State of Florida is 0-3 against Winston.

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ballsofsteelandfury

I will never tire of watching that Rose Bowl highlight.

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King Hippo

schadenfreudelicious

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