Since it is the middle of summer and everyone loves refreshing, lighter beers, let’s discuss some motherfucking imperial stout. Also, since it is a sloooooowwww news day, I am posting this early. Away we go to the land of STRONG BEER TAEKS.
NAME: Yeti Imperial Stout
SOURCE: Great Divide Brewing Company, Denver, Colorado (Just east of Coors Field. Turn right at the large groups of homeless people!)
TYPE: Imperial Stout
ABV.: 9.5%
REVIEW: All hail the Yeti! This is definitely my favorite stout. I’ll let the good folks at Great Divide take it away:
It starts with big, roasty malt flavor that gives way to rich caramel and toffee notes. YETI gets its bold hop character from an enormous quantity of American hops. It weighs in at a hefty 75 IBUs.
It also comes in many varieties: Barrel Aged, Oatmeal, Chocolate Oak Aged, Espresso Oak Aged, and Regular Oak Aged. All of these varieties are excellent.
Because it is a slow news day, here is an over-the-top discovery channel video about the Russian Yeti. Also, here are some yetis (also known as “wookiees”) that I frequently see at the hippie concerts I attend. These people are the worst.
As a countervailing data point, the bartender at one of the Denver bars you recommended said he thought Yeti sucked, but he loves Chocolate Yeti.
/end transmission
Wait, wut? So a love/sucks relationship?
http://38.media.tumblr.com/3d5619b46fd7552144dea152d1bf11eb/tumblr_nhvzukdW1L1rsxqqio1_500.gif
Yeti is great, like drinking the most delicious dark loam the earth ever produced. I don’t recommend starting your drinking night with it though.
I really wanted to try this. I did a search, and the only Australian retailer that has it wants $15/bottle plus $15 shipping for up to a case.
Sigh.
So buy a case.
I’m thinking wait for your next trip back….. unless you have starting quarterback money.
http://33.media.tumblr.com/2f52f1c7af2713b8634d6ed0443401c7/tumblr_ndtz2hTSGl1svgb0ro1_500.gif
If we can do a beer barrel on Tuesday, how about a Today in Debbie?
http://40.media.tumblr.com/b3ff6bde5830ab0bfd2c1b598ed9b00a/tumblr_ngviyeoBdt1tq82oxo1_1280.jpg
At least it’s not Munnday.
http://40.media.tumblr.com/52b2f0ef9b17e19dfd93e90f41e71883/tumblr_nodo15mQFF1s2yr14o1_1280.jpg
Or Brieday.
http://38.media.tumblr.com/0492563cfcb7673838ecb53d186d5bb1/tumblr_nstmm2RsM21tkvp7no1_400.gif
jersey09.ru
Buy at your own risk.
The three homeless people? Try the Mission Brewery in San Diego; it has a tent city….. but also damn fine beers.
You apparently never have been to 23rd Boadway and Park Ave. a block down from Snooze on the weekends. Hundreds down there on Saturdays. Denver Rescue Mission and St. Francis are both within 2 blocks.
Walk around there all the time, yes, more than three, but not near the number I’ve seen elsewhere. Seems like now days there is more families.
Also you should do a beer barrel soon.
That sounds like to much original content.
http://31.media.tumblr.com/2e082617b42d95237e9ae59406ee6c81/tumblr_n4od1hr05c1qivqtjo1_400.gif
I’ve been adding my “reviews” to the comments; didn’t want to clog up people with real posts.
Quick survey of my “likes” on DFO; apparently I’m overwhelming in favor of beer, food, and women. Sorry for the surprise.
http://38.media.tumblr.com/11985a558765823059cc699c73122921/tumblr_nocrslusqO1uuwke6o2_250.gif
Fantastic; also Great Divide is a fun place to have a beer, cheap sampler glasses, strong pours, a weird mix of people, buzzed bartenders, etc. Suggest eating lunch or dinner before you go.
I find the Wookies pictured generally a harmless, if stinky bunch; I find it is the younger amateur drinkers/drug takers to be far more hazardous and annoying.
http://38.media.tumblr.com/fa78386b958e59f9fc57957a0d23e2e5/tumblr_ncj5zwrRmJ1rnjev4o1_400.gif
Nooooooooo!!!!! I wanted it to be Rex!
https://twitter.com/AdamSchefter/status/633781651789758464
http://38.media.tumblr.com/f4e29140904c1f679b2d532da65c806b/tumblr_ncsorlbWNd1rnjev4o1_500.gif
They forgot the Raiders in that notice.
This sounds worth looking for. Are you familiar with New Holland’s Dragon’s Milk bourbon barrel stout? That’s my go-to heavy hitter nowadays.
I recently had Dragon’s Milk. I liked it quite a bit. Felt like someone had caved my head in with the blunt edge of a hatchet come the morning, but still…
No I will have to give it a shot.
Dragon’s Milk is pretty good stuff. It’ll take the hair right offa your ass though, so go easy…
http://www.thedailyrash.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/gore1.jpg
All that Gore is gonna get deleted…
What about this one? Is this gore safe?
TESTING BOUNDARIES
http://www.internethistorypodcast.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/Al_Gore_sayin_in.jpg
I hate Tipper Gore with the fire of a thousand suns. She is the face of the PMRC, and my high school Megadeth-fueled rage at her has never faded.
If he makes that face any harder, his eyes will transform into mouths.
He REALLY enjoys the smell of his own farts.
http://images.dailytech.com/nimage/13823_Al_Gore.png
http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01515/alGore_1515233c.jpg
9.5%? Ape would be flinging his poo for sure. Any word from Hominoidea emeritus?
IMO everyone participating in this discussion is Up For Whatever.
Sadly, no.
After several of these at 9.5% yes, not to mention strikingly attractive AND funny.
So I was off work for a week and left some apple cores in my waste basket-this is an open thread, right?-and I now have a shit ton of fruit flies in my office. I was told that flies are attracted to foul-smelling things so I printed off a ton of Horatio’s comments and spread them all over my desk. No luck. (Thanks for nothing, Horatio!) Any ideas?
Summon Fek?
So you think I have dead kittens just lying around my house waiting to be used for the Fek Summoning? I’ll have you know that the dead kittens lying around my house have a social schedule that will not be interrupted by some petty invitation to invoke this “Fek”.
Ooohhh, loogit mister fancy pants organic genius guy over here! Sir too good for store-bought dead kittens is in the house, let’s all genuflect!
It’s very obvious to me that you’ve never eaten a freshly-picked dead kitten from a gluten-free dumpster in your entire life. I pity you.
Nothing works on fruit flies better than this
http://www.walgreens.com/store/c/hot-shot-no-pest-strip/ID=prod6143750-product?ext=gooHousehold_PLA_Indoor_Pest_Control_prod6143750_pla&adtype=pla&kpid=sku6127240&sst=6406bc6a-967e-40e4-94fa-fb66010b1fef&kpid=sku6127240
Hard to be this for fly-genocide:
http://bugasalt.com/
If I had $50 to blow I’d be a palmetto bug blasting son of a bitch.
Summon Fek? I’ll call the priest.
Fruit flies are attracted to wine (who isn’t???), so leave a plastic cup out with a little wine in it, and in the morning you’ll have a gross cup full of dead/drunk fruit flies.
/resists urge to make winged Michael Sam joke
I use the same trick. If you put saran wrap over the top and poke a bunch of little holes, they can get in but can’t crawl back out.
http://i.imgur.com/hU2C5k8.jpg
Scheduled maintenance? I’ll kill you! I’ll…
Oh, it’s back now. Yay!
You forgot the Espresso Yeti, which is my favorite Yeti, and possibly favorite stout.
http://www.theperfectlyhappyman.com/uploads/great-divide-espresso-oak-aged-yeti.jpg
My good friend made a home-brew that I would actually dare to put on par with said Espresso Yeti. I have one more sitting in my fridge, and you’re crazy if you think I’m going to share it with anyone so they can make that comparison.
Updated. How could I forget the breakfast beer?
I’m not sure, but something tells me your breakfasts are substantially less Irish than mine.
http://media3.giphy.com/media/GicBy3vWlnkti/giphy.gif
Have to:
http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/2c/ef/ca/2cefca76ac0b6837e3fab46f1a0c261c.jpg
It’s the good stuff:
http://abcnews.go.com/Health/florida-couple-addicted-coffee-enemas/story?id=18433235
They could make “gym sock” yeti, and I’d probably wanna try it. Sofa king good.
Yes, a thousand times yes.
I bought bombers of Oak Aged and Oatmeal last Saturday. Haven’t tried them yeti! (PUN!) Though I’ve enjoyed many (MANY!) Yetis in the past. I’ve become such a whore for barrel aged beers and silly sweet-tooth brews. Maybe I caught the ‘beetus from a dirty toilet seat?
Now, thanks to the shittiness of Facebook, I associate porters with this ultra-hippy dickbag who I recently unfriended because he felt it necessary to comment on my kids playing sports and how it was [insert whiny stinky hippy voice] “Not healthy and was proven to make kids violent.”
My response was far from PC. I may have referred to him as being a huge vagina. Maybe.
Good thing this is a stout, which is better than a porter. USA! USA! USA!
Also, my kids play sports, including hockey, where they enjoy checking other kids and calling them “pussy face”, so your Facebook acquaintance is a huge vagina.
Was he someone you knew in real life? If so, you should have given your kid a secret instruction to kick him in the shins the next time you saw him. Then you could say “hey, you’re right!” and high-five your kid later.
Are all those pictures from Dead shows?
Yeti definitely is a great beer. I got my hand on a Chocolate Oak Aged and that was fantastic. Definitely a must-buy.
Nah, just the internet. I don’t want pictures of those things on my phone because they might frighten the kids.
I had a Chocolate Oak Aged Yeti sitting in my aging fridge (yes, I have an aging fridge /adjusts douchebag glasses) that was there for over a year. I had it on Friday in celebration of the Padres FINALLY hitting for the Cycle. (WOOOOOOOOO!)
The year made the chocolate a little more bitter than I remembered it being previously, but was absolutely amazing.
I’ll bet you had an aging fridge before they got popular, eh?
Hey, here’s a funny beer story. On Sunday my wife came back from the store with some beer for me (probably guilt-ridden from having many many affairs). She said, “It might be new, because I’ve never heard of it, but the guy at the store said it was great for a hot day.” You guessed it…it was a 4-pack of Allagash White. And of course, it was good, even though it lacked nutmeg.
http://goodmenproject.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/grant_a_goodell_sl_64011-e1438328410440.jpg
You know it’s funny, because I had mentioned to your wife that I like Allagash White.
I’ve told her that I like all my gash white too.
I thought they were all pink on the inside?
/sorry
Next MMQB (Probably. I’ll never know without Fun With PK):
“Was at the store, advised some lady to try the Allagash. Said it was for her husbakd. Only in New York!”
New York is amazing, isn’t it?
Went to NYC for the first time evar a few weeks ago. It WAS amazing, all the tall buildings and good food and subways and whatnot. However, while I was gone, KSK imploded. Therefore, I alone will always associate New York with horrible tragedy that no one else could possibly understand. Yep, 7/31 is a date that we’ll remember forever, unlike any other date on the calendar. Never forget.
Given that Uproxx was responsible for that whole mess, are you going to start a war with Gawker?
I think the appropriate response would be to start a war with someone unrelated to 7/31. Let’s go with Upworthy. We will, in fact, be greeted as liberators!!!
Wait…Gawker are Uproxx ARE unrelated. Heh, I get jokes.
http://i.imgur.com/xnwSZzj.gif
What are you-some sort of huge vaginahead?
THE ATTACK ON KSK WAS AN INSIDE JOB.
It’s got this park where you can run!
She told me I was the only one; I didn’t believe because of the sleeveless hoodie she keeps.
This is a great, great, great beer. That is all.
That’s all? You’re sure?