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The 506

His Right Honorable Lord Lordship the Lordly

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For some Labor Day marks the unofficial transition of summer to fall. Some, the changing of the foilage from verdant green to a rich panoply of red, orange, yellow and so forth provides the division. Still others the advent of countless scores of pumpkin based products even though it’s not even September. I, however, always mark the 1st 506sports posting of the upcoming Sunday NFL TV broadcast maps as the real commencement of autumn.

http://506sports.com/

If you never knew about it before, it’s a pretty nifty website. You can postulate the many things Trent Green will blather on banally until you notice he is wearing his shirt inside out, or prepare thyself for how Jeem and Phil will ruin your afternoon, or imagine how Siragusa will contribute nothing of value to the broadcast or wax poetically how Brian Billick murder stare will sear itself into your psyche.

Of course, there is always the option to buy Sunday Ticket or go to a bar.

Enjoy.

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The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

So Dr. Mrs. Mayhem is out of town ’til Sunday, and I have a gift certificate to my local liquor purveyor. I’m going to apologize in advance for any abusive, insensitive, or incoherent comments I post. I’m sure your mothers are all wonderfully generous, chaste and disease-free.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Was the gift certificate a gift from the Dr. Mrs? If so, amazeballs.

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Porky Prime

REVEREND.

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ballsofsteelandfury

I used to live in Arizona before the Cardinals moved there. It was interesting to see what games were “chosen” to be shown. At least there were no blackouts and we got three games each Sunday.

Prepped me well to live in LA.

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sunrisesunrise

Until next year at least. Then you’re stuck with the Rams game in the morning and Chargers in the afternoon.

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ballsofsteelandfury

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So this was kind of fun; I went and looked up how the SBNation’s blog for the Raiders predicted they would do in 2014 – the author predicted 5-11, which was not too far off. The fun part (and good medicine for the silly optimism I’m feeling) was reading through the comments from all the furious homers who kept insisting 10-6 was a more reasonable prediction.

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ballsofsteelandfury

That is the endearing feature of all Raider fans. Forever hopeful and optimistic.

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nomonkeyfun

You’d think that after their Mother was denied parole 5 times, they would start to lose some of the optimism.

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Duchess

This is why I bought Sunday Ticket on PS3/4. So I can watch the Packers beat the crap out of the Bears in real time rather than watch the highlights later and drink.

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Cuntler

I am spending the day at the beach. I have accepted their fate this year.

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Lothar of the Hill People

I bought the Madden game a couple years back, despite not having a PS3, and got the free Sunday ticket with the $50 game (which I then gave to my godson as an early Christmas present. go me!).

If I could convince the wife that laying out $400 for a PSx and then the additional whatever for Sunday Ticket, I’d do it.

Next year, when the Bears won’t suck quite as badly. I have no incentive to shell out hundreds of dollars when I can find a crappy pirate feed and watch them get shellacked for free.

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Duchess

I spent the 2011 season watching Bears games pirate feeds from England. That was something special. The commercials were great AND it was funny watching the NFL patronize the audience with “Tune in next week for our 1-hour special walk through of the rules of American Football”

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phisherman

Well thank God for Redzone, am I right fellas?

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ballsofsteelandfury

Honestly, Andrew Siciliano is the only reason I am still a football fan.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Hey, you made it! Glad you’re here.

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blaxabbath

Bought my first house last October. Kinda has a ‘local’ dovish/sports bar just on the other side of the neighborhood (bills itself as “the original husband daycare” — ugh). Was all stoked to have a local midwesterner-inspired bar in our hood. Went a couple times after I moved in and it was cool, service was friendly, not crowded, good food, whatever.

Then I show up for the Cards TNF game (so everyone is hitting the bar) and it’s just a brutal experience. Bunch of old fucks in Leinart jerseys and Pat’s Run (the annual Pat Tillman was a patriot, pay no attention to how he was killed by his own country, the story covered up, and his family’s religious beliefs publicly criticized when they question the official — read: false — story of his death) shirts just having no clue what is going on. They’re talking about how we need to put Fitz back out wide and replace Palmer with . I had to leave at the half, it was so painful.

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packman_jon

TNF ruins everything.

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...

Ugh. I hate places that infantilize men like that.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Now, now, they’re not all bad.
http://i.imgur.com/2B6kXbV.png

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His Right Honorable Lord Lordship the Lordly

Since I moved to CT, I’m in Giants-Patriots territory for TV broadcasts generally.

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Horatio Cornblower

Come to my house!

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His Right Honorable Lord Lordship the Lordly

I think I’m going to buy Sunday Ticket again this season, at least this year they have it streamable through a 360.

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blordinaryfagicmox

If I had facebook account I would totally share this with all my Jared-apologist friends.
http://i.onionstatic.com/onion/2340/2/16×9/800.jpg

/Having an account wouldn’t change the fact that I have no friends

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...

A SUBWAY TOASTER OVEN CAN’T MELT STEEL.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Vaguely related, but I just saw this one today and was very amused.

http://cdn.slashgear.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/TX9dbK6.jpg

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Lothar of the Hill People

I can’t remember how/where/when I found that site, but it’s been invaluable to a displaced Bears fan.

Always pisses me off how Columbus, Ohio, seems to fuck around with NFC games. I contacted the local Fox affiliate, and they told me that they don’t like having games on opposite Cleveland Browns games. Columbus is a secondary market for Cleveland, so even a dog-shit team’s secondary market scares a Fox affiliate from paying the network for a competing game.

So the Fox affiliate shows infomercials instead.

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entropy

I live an hour north of Philly, and no matter what other game is on opposite the Fucking Eagles, I get 3.5 hours of infomercials for the most part. Occasionally, an intern screws up and puts a game on opposite the Fucking Eagles, but it always seems like an oversight since it’s usually the worst possible alternative.

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...

The “we can’t put a game opposite a home game” rule is awful.

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Lothar of the Hill People

But that’s the thing–it’s not a home game for Columbus. Columbus is a secondary market for Cleveland, Cincinnati, and (when they feel like it, apparently, because it’s not always) Pittsboigh. So, according to NFL rules, the local affiliate gets to decide to air a game or not, and which game.

Most of the time, the only time I get a chance to see the Bears (unless they’re playing an AFC North team) is when Pittsburgh, Cincy, and Cleveland all have non-1pm games. And even then it’s a crap shoot. Some unpaid intern at the local Fox affiliate once decided instead of Green Bay-Chicago–several years back when both teams were good-ish and the game had playoff implications–they would air Miami-Buffalo instead. In fucking Columbus, Ohio.

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WhyEaglesWhy

I love the 506. I always used to check it to see whether I’d have to go to a bar. It’s interesting to see that certain regions of the country seem to always get a certain team that there is no logical attachment to.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I came to say this. Can I stay home and rivebrog pantsless or do I need to go to a bar or friend’s house with directv and take my pants off there? The506 guides me every week.

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packman_jon

Or there’s always those..you know…

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The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

HUSH! THEY COME WHEN YOU CALL AND WILL SHRED YOUR MIND WITH TERROR!!!

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WCS

Cleveland @ the Jets

Didn’t take long for the NFL to shit on my weekend!

Thanks for the site, Lord.

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entropy

Cleveland @ the Jets?! I’m in juuuuussst the worst area to catch the thrill-a-minute roller coaster that is Miami @ Washington! I’m considering the Breakfast That Hemmingway Ate that day.

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Lothar of the Hill People

I thought the NFL shit on your weekend by allowing Tom Terrific to play against your injury- and drug-suspension-riddled Stillers.

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...

Just imagine if you were stuck with Bucs-Titans.

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WCS

That is custom-made for Thursday night.

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packman_jon

“And that’s the end of the 1st quarter and DEAR GOD WHY ARE YOU STILL WATCHING? DON’T YOU KNOW THERE’S OTHER THINGS ON?”

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...

I do like how the game is on in Oregon since I’m sure everyone in that state wants to see Mariota underwhelm.

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