That was a great day, wasn’t it? Remember when that guy scored? I didn’t think it would happen. But that guy that got injured-that was a bad break. But at least the home team won, right? And the cheerleaders, oh the cheerleaders! That rookie is going to be something special, isn’t he? But that vet-I thought he was going to be okay but it’s obvious the years have taken their toll. And that team that is 1-0? Who could have seen that coming? So much to discuss at the water cooler tomorrow!
NYG vs Dal: Hey Romo, here’s your early Xmas present-Giants starting safeties Brandon Collins (a rookie) and Cooper Taylor ( I assume he is a developmentally-challenged hobo that hides in a shopping cart when on the sidelines). If the Cowboys D falters a bit we may get a shoot-out but the talent levels between these teams is significant. Eli likes turtles.
Hey, CONGO EVERYONE!
Was Eli just yelling “Tacos tacos!” ?
“TACO! TACO!”
…You’re not Odell
I feel like Preston Parker should be MUCH whiter
Why such bad games for opening week MNF?
“If you don’t get hustle right, they don’t go on to anything else”
Because fuck technique right Cris?
Chris gives himself away as the man behind PFTC.
I made a wish board. Some people might call it a creepy Dan Snyder death wish board. They would be mostly right, but what I really wished, the Cowboys are playing the Skins at Fedex, they almost make a fantastic catch. Momentum carries the Cowboys receiver well out of bounds, his helmet drives into Snyder’s unhelmeted temple. He passes away. It’s not really the Cowboy’s fault, but they face suspensions from the NFL at a crucial time in the season. Someone not shitty buys the Skins, and we all dance naked in the rain with rose petals and shit. FUCK DALLAS.
Thats…oddly specific. But I’ll allow it
Doktor Zymm’s Erotic Fan Fiction. Coming (Phrasing!) to DFO soon!
Does somebody have relations with the corpse? Because that would be pretty nifty, too.
My other favorite Dan Snyder Fan Fiction is Albert Haynesworth Worships Facesitters
Not that I need an excuse to dance naked in the rain but I’ll take it.
Who’s excited for more runs?
Tom Coughlin got the idea after staring at a crab for 8 hours this summer
Not my toilet! HEYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO…. broken.exe
http://i.imgur.com/PLTAMEw
NSFW. Lights
Why is there hair between her legs?
I see the Giants strategy of “running sideways” still is in use
To be fair it worked for Harris when he was a Cowboy
Hey, we broke 1000 comments. Good work everyone!
/DFO dies
/Smacks everyone on the ass, hard
//breaks hand
BREAKING: DFO acquired by Uproxx.
Those cocks couldn’t control my #content.
Derptastrophe near-miss!
No way that is a fucking catch!
Well as long as we’re talking about the Maras…
https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcR-BDZcBLbOkl34BKimCHEd9pOVepk8gVd7r2JGCfhoOYTQqTENZQ
I can’t wait for their new movie, The Maratian
That looks like the stuffiest owner box ever
No, the stuffiest box owner is Michele Bachmann silly.
D’huile or Court Bouillon?
Everything Fallon does seems so contrived
Could be because he’s less talented and less funny than Jay Leno. Which is saying quite a bit.
What WCS said. He makes Leno seem edgy.
He’s the epitome of television at this point — edgier than salt but not as threatening as pepper.
Am I the only person who hates Jimmy Fallon? That’s fine — Mark David Chapman was just one man too.
Make sure your acid-stained copy of “Infinite Jest” makes it to New York.
I’m not fond of him, but unfortunately his the type of person most people find “fun” but is not funny whatsoever.
Prudential going the pessimistic route
I’ve eaten my fair share of taco bell, and I Have never seen anything as unfoodlike as Taco Bell’s “Breakfast ‘food'”
But it’s still good, isn’t it?
Beasley and Witten have sure been quiet lately.
Pick! Pick! Pick!
I’m still naked if I have my watch on, right?
Nope. Take it ALL off.
Goddamn you JPP.
It’s been a few years….so Jason Garrett is just always flushed like that? Does he have high blood pressure or something?
That’s just his Princeton roots showing.
GINGERVITIS
But Kraft wears sneakers with suit jackets
He has an issue where whenever he tries to talk to his black players his melanin levels go through the roof, but it manifests itself as red.
Its a problem with the organic skin over his metal frame. They are still working the kinks out.
I always love it when his programing faults.
http://www.theunticket.com/fake-jason-garrett-11-28-11/
Jerry Jones is has to be the most entertaining rich asshole owner right?
I mean I love his antics compared to say Rob Kraft or Snyder.
Fuck ’em all.
I’d watch a buddy film with Jerry Jones and Jim Irsay.
The advantage of ol double J over Snyder? JJ gonna die soon. May Dan Snyder be hit by a giant bus.
I’d shoot them all but Bowlen and Irsay. Irsay could hook a Hippo up!
What a fucking shocker, NBC reports that an NFL team did due diligence before signing a guy who threw his girl on a sofa covered with assault rifles.
Football is Family
Don’t worry, Peter King is on the case.
The Raiders signed Robert Mugabe?
“I spoke to Robert before the game, and he said that he regrets his actions during Gukurahundi and has grown a lot as a result. He’s looking forward to putting the whole ordeal behind him and focus on the game. Back to you Al.”
Hardy promised that next time she burns the toast he’s just going to smack her around and won’t throw her onto any gun-covered furniture.
Good enough for Texas.
I thought gun-covered furniture in Texas was not only legal but encouraged.
I see the Cowboys special teams are in top form already.
(Watched Fear the Walking Dead instead of the first half. It would appear I have nothing to regret)
Reason I cant watch Fear the Walking Dead: Either cops know zombies exist and aren’t telling anyone for some reason, or they’re legitimately oblivious as to why people are upset at them for just shooting people left and right
http://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/6b/95/d3/6b95d354db12edf65d3f93e688483fca.jpg
I wonder if Jerry still sends death threats to Wade.
I just assume he sends him diet versions of good foods instead
The Cowboys are playing like they met for the first time in the parking lot ten minutes before kick-off.
Fair Catch + Running into Own Guy = Extra 20 yards
I kinda expected the ball to touch a guy and get returned for a TD.
Melted chocolate is gross, children are frequently gross, ew. There are much more fun things to do with sweet melted things.
Fondu?
That’s Fundue!
That kid definitely plays O line on his peewee team.
Please elaborate in the most delicious and erotic way possible.
Please don’t tell me NFL players actually play fantasy football. Unless you’re a Cleveland Brown, who make a winning season a fantasy after Week 5
Instead of showing me 60 minutes of Gotham commercials every Sunday, how about just show me 20ea 3 minute clips of the show?
Else, I’m not watching any episodes.
Meanwhile, in the Owner’s Box…
“YEEEEEHAW! This is why I get these Chinamen on the cheap son. These Lees can’t sacrifice themselves fast enough like it’s Tienanmen Square!”
/aide whispers to Jerry
“He’s what?!”
Me limey.
If I ever do have a son, I’m going to teach him the lyrics to walk, and just nature take its course
My kid learned Walk at 3. It’s….less good than you would think.
http://i.imgur.com/JEMZlYT
NSFW. Tan lines
I’m too damn lazy to do the analysis, but I bet the Giants are in the top 5 for catches not made in the chestal region.
Blueberry or strawberry?
Blueberries are the healthiest.
Was ready for football, wasn’t ready for all the commercials
Football is commercials.
Red zone spoiled me
It is hard to come down off black tar heroin of RZ to lollipops
Red Zone Channel:
http://i.ytimg.com/vi/2i3zrzyLOCw/hqdefault.jpg
Not Gregory 🙁
Who are these people standing on the street watching a TV show?
I’d rather Dallas lose this game than lose Randy Gregory.
Sadly it looks like they may do both.
Needs more Sad injury music.
GRIT
Eli knows he can let OBJ make routine plays, right? They don’t all have to be impossible catches.
And with that tackle, Sean Lee just contracted AIDS
It’s ok. Forrest Gump will bring him oranges.
I just got off the phone with the WordPress execs. They said the “It’s Happening!” gif is banned from their servers until further notice.
I can help:
http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/gfaqssb/images/9/90/IT'S_HAPPENING.gif
Peppermint
http://38.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lopmqdzMDk1r0q6ybo1_400.gif
Oh wow, good catch.