From what I can recall yesterday I had fun watching and drinking, drinking and watching. Did anyone not come remotely close to earning their pay today? [raises hand] Did anyone use a flimsy excuse to leave early? [raises hand] Well, at least we’re being honest. Tuesday I’ll get right back at it and…there’s more games? I went to the beer store to replenish stock? I can start drinking at 6 EST because there’s a double-header? You don’t say! Sorry in advance, folks at my workplace tomorrow…
Phi at Atl: This is the Eagles year this year, isn’t it? People in Philly without long-term concussion problems AND Brian Dawkins think so. He looked good in the pre-season so there’s no pressure whatsoever on Bradford tonight and the following weeks. As I recall, he and pressure of any sort did not get along in St. Lou. The Eagles finished with the 2nd most sacks in the league last year and a Falcons site thinks that the O-line is made of Arena League drop outs . Balsa Hard! guys. Don’t let the nay-sayers get to you. Oh yeah, Freeman and White are banged up as well. It’s all on you, Julio.
Im pretty sure ESPN is now the middle of a Draft Kings NFL Eiffel tower.
Geez Eagles offensive line, I’ve seen better protection of black people in Philadelphia, Mississippi.
Beautiful
“What?’ — Marcus Dupree
A good reminder of how big an asshole Reagan could be.
So, I only needed 4 points from Demarco Murray. I assume that has been satisfied, and I can enjoy a relaxing second half of football?
Not yet, 1.7
I’m so, so sorry.
I’m happy to announce that dick pill commercials have finally found their way to WatchESPN.
Annoying gossip, overacting to shitty food, and boring-ass R&B
Never change McDonalds
I know Suzy is supposed to be our queen and patron saint or something but at this point she looks like she would make a great pair of deerskin pants for Sam Bradford and her voice sounds like she just got bukakked by a bunch of guys wearing barbed wire around their dicks.
Not saying I wouldn’t hit or anything…
Wrong site! Emily is our new matron. Direct all queries to Martin.
I’m leaning toward Charissa.
“Ignore the shitty performance 2014 caused by the fact he was openly dogging it! All is good now!”
I hear Dilfer might be the other, less good, kind of junkie.
Is that Trent Dilfer or Dan Ackroyd as Baldar? Oh, and “Bridgewater is a completion junkie.” OK.
Ugh. From Ray Lewis and Cris Carter to fucking Berman. MNF needs to die in a fire already.
GAAAAHHHHHH BERMAN SIGHTING
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Failing Upward: The Trent Dilfer Story
Starring Jonathan Ogden and Shannon Sharpe
I’m digging The Matron’s cigar bar voice tonight.
yo
sup
my kitchen trash can smells bad
you might want to take it out
Just got back from walking the dogs and…Ray Lewis and Cris Carter? Fuck that. Time to sit on the porch and drink
That dress is terrible.
Ray Lewis knows someone who can get it disposed of
At least The Boss can take the pain away
Ok, halftime. Do I:
A. Try to drive home in shitty LA traffic and maybe miss part of 4th quarter;
B. Go to douchey Hollywood bar where I don’t even want to see other Iggles fans;
C. Drive to Tennessee, kidnap Mariota, slowly brainwash him Manchurian Candidate style so he kills Bradford, then does a Face/Off and replaces him (without Chip or most people in Philly noticing because, hey, they’re both ethnics!)
If you choose C, some of us here at DFO will support you both spiritually and financially
and we have many, many lawyers
C, for the added degree of difficulty. If you’re caught it might be considered a hate crime.
I’d pick A. You won’t miss much, if there’s not an Iggles fan there will be San Diego fan, and Philly fans will notice that Mariota isn’t made of glass.
As a fellow Iggle fan I will tell the cops you were at my place when the murder happens.
Damn Dez
Matty ass!
/puerta se abre
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And then he fucked them all.
Anybody else just here ‘Matty Ass’ or was that just me?
Video highlights of Matt Ryan’s huge pocket on pass plays to Roddy White are playing while Cris Crater won’t shut up about Julio Jones.
Uh. Okay.
And there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth.
Iggles.
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Howdy gents. Still at the office but hopefully heading home soon.
Is there enough alcohol on earth to get me through a Berman-announced late game?
I hear good things happen if you pour moonshine into absinthe
Too bed the Vet is long gone. Eagles fans would be throwing batteries at Chip Kelly and Sam Bradford during the home opener. Will we see a smug prick Kelly grin in the second half?
Chip might be a ‘football genius’ but all the eggs in his basket are named Sam Bradford.
Fitting that you compare San Bradford to eggs.
And the eggs are scrambled.
Is Cris Carter Ray Lewis’ fall guy?
That’s a tough gig.
If history is any indication, he’ll snitch on your ass to plea down to obstruction of justice.
Premature overreaction time :
The Eagles, fluke or HAHAHA THEY GONNA SUCK ALL SEASON?
I predicted 6-10 on the DFO master sheet!
/I think, I was pretty pilled up
Please remember, they have two games against the Giants, and Elisha will figure out a way to derp things up.
Welcome back shitty MNF, it’s what you ESPN cunts deserve for unleashing Chris Berman and Skip Bayless upon the world.
Don’t forget Cowherd!
We haven;t even gotten to the Tomsula/Kaepernick portion of the evening!
Speaking of which…who brought the blow for us old folks on the East Coast?
So…that happened.
PROGRESS! No holding!!!
Chip Kelly looks like he just took a bite of a tomacco.
I remember seeing Punishing Sam Bradford when they opened up for Husker Du in 1986.
STOP, STOP, THE HALF IS ALREADY DEAD!
OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD LET IT END
This is painful to watch. Painful to listen to.
…and that’s the end of Bradford’s seas…oh, he’s fine. That’s unprecedented.
There’s no way that they don’t have a graphic ready of his average number of games played over the last few seasons, with “Out for season after week 1” already filled in for this year
Could we see the return of Nacho?
I mean, he needs to get his face out there before prom season….
And homecoming season is right around the corner…….
WHAMMYING WHOLIO?
JAMMERIN JULIO!
YAMMERIN JULIO.
He DID turn him. TEXTBOOK
That fumble overturn + touchdown pass ended up being very valuable to me in a tight fantasy game.
After seeing some of the calls yesterday, that’s more than enough contact to make that call.
Jeebus, compare that to the phantom calls on the Giants last night…
This means even less Murray in the second half right?
That Nick Foles guy looked pretty good yesterday…
Why couldn’t this game be taking place in Philly?
Chip Kelly believes in Julio the way Tebow believes in evolution.
I HAVEN’T SEEN A JULIO FUCKING EAGLES THIS HARD SINCE THEY RAN OUT OF DONKEY’S IN TIJUANA
Wow, Bob, wow!
Mr. Gruden: Stop trying to make “Hammerin’ Julio” happen. It’s not happening.
http://jawonthefloor.files.wordpress.com/2015/08/5c6d0-reginageorge.gif
How many effigies of Chip Kelly are being readied for burning right now?
Philly fans don’t strike me as the effigy burning type, they seem more the kind of fans who will plant IEDs in the airport.