Hello fellow football lovers. We meet again. Have you been well? Oh, that’s good to hear. How about that weather, huh? Some places it’s nice and other places it’s not. Go figure! Enough of the pasty white small talk, large muscular men will be crashing into each other. Let’s watch together…
Bal @ Pit: I imagine Tomlin is at this very moment begging Vick to just “play the game”, don’t try to do anything stupid, er, don’t try to be a difference-maker. Those days are long gone and just forget about this probably being your last bit of time in the spotlight. It happens to everyone! Last year Vick slorped together a 53% completion rate, a 5 yds per pass average and a not-sparkling 21.4 QBR (last in the league!). The key for the Steelers is getting Brown in space so that he can make a play and to let Bell careen through/off defenders and move the ball. Despite their troubles the Ravens haven’t allowed a 100 yard rusher in 29 straight games so it may be an uphill battle for Bell. The Flacco will of course be his usual nonpareil self, that’s for damn sure. I think Smith will get his and a TD because it is always a mistake to count that guy out. Another reason Smith will be relevant is because the other WR’s are not. They are Marlon Brown and Kamar Aiken.
It is so reassuring to see Haley’s offense after they pass the 50 yard line. It is such a wooby.
Kordell-esque drive killing there.
Every pass that goes to not Antonio Brown is a dagger in my soul.
What’s up, everybody?
Do you want some DeAngelo Williams?
http://i.imgur.com/dP7ebTy.gif
Vick had an experience in jail? What did he do?
Religious conversion. He’s a scientologist now.
Now I really don’t like him.
That’s just your thetans talking.
Time to dial up the screen, Boss Todd.
check downs to Le’Veon make teh Hippo happy
ACADEMY AWARD WINNER Patricia Arquette and Ted Danson?
Both team’s O-lines are blocking like they’re very upset with their QBs.
If Roethlisberger ever ends up becoming a coach in this league he’s gonna end up being fatter than Andy Reid.
Except Choco Tacos instead of everything else?
Oh yeah, Bears-of-last-week?
YOU GOT NUTHIN ON US
Final score prediction: 4-3
4-2 or 5-4 would be better, but this would also be acceptable.
Multiple safeties, is all we ask.
So the Bengals are undefeated and the Steelers and Ravens are underachieving.
http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/519/092/e4d.gif
BEN RAGE FACE
I made a last minute change to my FF lineup. Took out Yeldon, put in Smith as my flex. Smith is now gonna get no catches and Yeldon is gonna pick up 3 TDs against Indy
Were on pace for 40 punts this game.
Calling it now: We’re in for a game of vigorous punting.
I guess this makes us piss pals?
If Antonio Brown returns 20 punts tonight, I’ll be happy.
Deep punting.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wjCjgjk9n0o
ELITE sack.
ELITE not losing the ball?
AVERAGESACK
Michael Vick
http://www.clevescene.com/images/blogimages/2011/02/15/1297779555-fish-that-saved-pittsburgh.jpg
I thought that was Kanye.
Double mountain fresh hop red: not elite, but tasty.
Oh shit, they’re double covering Steve Smith! They figured us out, guys!
So that’s that, then.
Welp.
I think this describes Vick.
http://images1.tickld.com/live/772248.jpg
So how did Vick become a Steeler again? Did all the other free agent QBs retire or something?
Tebow was talking to god and the Steeler’s phone call didnt go through.
No one is more familiar with 3 and long than Michael Vick.
I thought it was 4th and 20.
Why is Kordell Stewart playing?
I C WUT U DID THAR
“SLASH! Ah ah. Savior of the Universe!”
-Queen
Ha ha! It’s actually Kordell Stewart!
Holy shit it’s 1998!
(shudders) I hated that year.
YAY Le’Veon and Balmer D!!
Boo Yinzer kicker!! (name already forgotten)
DOUBLE YAY peary (h/t Sill) and oxy in series!
http://res.cloudinary.com/ratebeer/image/upload/w_250,c_limit,q_85,d_beer_def.gif/beer_42534.jpg
Alright. I somehow made it through the day without committing a felony, even though the voices in my head were making good argument.
Bring on Football!!!
Which voice do you listen to most? When in doubt, I go with the French Canadian one.
My Morgan Freeman narrator voice.
Ever since I was a little boy, I liked to murder hobos. You should try it, Redshirt.
It’s apparently the best Canada.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WULsZJxPfws
Housemate just asked ‘Is Charlie Batch still on the steelers?’
I thought he might be.
We’ve replaced the corpse of Charlie Batch with the corpse of Michael Vick.
Let’s see if anyone notices!
BAD NEWZ
Can’t wait for the Week 16 promo between the Chargers and Raiders:
This is a football game that someone might win. Maybe. Who cares?
I first read that as “porno.”
I imagine the level of interest would probably be similar.
http://rs144.pbsrc.com/albums/r179/jgarzten3/NDVD_178acopy.jpg~c200
I think this will be my feeling about this game.
Who is the most ETILE TNF QB? STAY TUNED!
Can’t spell KITCHEN TILE without ETILE
Is it Greg Maddox? Is he still on the Steelers? Or was it Tom Maddox? No… Charlie?
These teams hate each other so much that Joe Flacco switched the places of the white and the wheat bread on the Steelers’ pre-game spread table. It seriously inconvenienced them for like, five seconds!
Wheat bread? Truly these Steelers have exotic tastes!
PINKTOBER WOO
Tonight’s teams are wearing Black and Purple, in honor of domestic violence awareness.
Dean Peas down his own leg.
“Give Pees a chance.”
-John Lennon, Ravens fan
In spite of being a Raven’s fan, I actually don’t hate the Stillers. As a kid, they were my 2nd favorite team, and moved up to the top spot by default, and for a good long while, when the Colts left town. Lived in Iggles territory for a while as a Stillers fan…which was actually a lot of fun pissing those fuckers off. But I digest…
In spite of actually still kinda being a Stillers fan, if my Ratbirds fall to 0-4 by losing to a Michael Vick led team (which I fully expect to happen) I will have hit an all-time low as an NFL fan. And as I’ve already said, I was a BALTIMORE Colts fan.
My best hope for a good night tonight is proper chemical intervention, which has yet to begin but will get underway straightaway; and a roving pack of feral dogs to wander into the ketchup coliseum seeking revenge for their kind. Hopefully, they can count to #2. In short, fuck you Vick.
Oh, and I’ll get the fuck you Flacco overwith early as well. Goddamn WASP version of Ubaldo Jimenez.
FML
Silver linings: If they lose, they might not punt on every possession.
For me the Ratbirds are a distant, DISTANT second to the Pats these days.
…and the band played on
Is that Tony Romo in the crowd behind Vampyra there?
hey guys
I wish an actual wolf would chew that mole of Tracy Wolfson’s face.
Alright, I’ve been pre-drinking drain cleaner and Nyquil. Let’s get this fucking funeral over with.
I semt off the email to my Japanese cohort. The response “I would very much like to have the beer”.
So my question to the community….you got a kid that speaks no English. You are in Virginia. You have to get drunk with him amd then head to a titty bar in West Virgina, get him laid, amd then hold it over him until he leaves the country right? I think its in the constitution.
Kill the hooker that bangs him. Really seals the deal.
But HONORABLY
You can leave her in the same ditch they used for the carnality!
Well OBVIOUSLY….but besides that…
Since its now October first, does this mean the NFL is now whoring itself out to everything pink?
Yes.
Well, they only changed the color of the flags away from yellow because it’s Hispanic Heritage Month.
I’m guessing our header pic guy gets all of his clothes at The Gap.
He shops with Michael Strahan.
The baby sitting at the bar next to me just stole one of my camels….Yup…I am in the South….
His hipster parents think its cute…..
All of my babies smoked virginia slims
Ooh la la, when my kinds come out they better get them fingers good and nimble for rollin their own. I will not have some entitled GLOREE BOY in my family.
I know right?!?
Seriously. …a baby smoking camels is straight ghetto!
Sat through three meetings, ordered about 2.4 million USD worth of motors from Japan, and got told by HR that unless i get a shrink to sign off me working 90 plus hours a week, which lead to my nervous breakdown, I am fired. So fuck work, fuck the shrink, amd fuck the meds, i am getting good and proper drunk.
And fuck it, come tomorrow, I am dragging the poor kid from the Japan home office to go drinking. Cause that poor shit pissed someone off bad in Tokyo to get sent to Roanoke VA
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/411nF8qT0oL._SX342_.jpg
Joe Flacco with a beard? SOMEONE IS MILDLY DISPLEASED AND LOOKING FOR A MINOR CHANGE.
You’re right coming out with it and saying you don’t want a beard is major change.
-Aaron Rodgers
Evening folks, I’ve just returned from (attempting) to teach kids after-school karate. Lesson of the day? Don’t reference Superman or else kindergarteners start flying around like Superman. I’ll be popping Luden’s lozenges until I run out. Those things are addictive.
Michael Vick will have an all time TNF performance tonight.
Will it be good or bad, though?
He said all-time TNF performance. You know what that means.