“Late in the evening the American Football Fan, awash in a sea of carbohydrates and intoxicants, settles down for the evening. Its energy is spent and the couch sings its siren song-few can resist. Those that have already found their way back to their lair begin to go over-in what could be called their minds-the things they’ll type on blog sites or shout into phones during call-in shows the following day.”
Dal @ NO: Good news for the Cowboys-Ingram is not Devonta Freeman and Spiller isn’t anyone at this point. Dallas should be able to put Taylor Swift behind this O-Line and get 75 yards out of her. The only concern would be the song she inevitably comes out with detailing the lack of support Weeden gave her and that she has to move on now. Can you see the despair in Brees’ eyes as he surveys the diseased deathscape that is the Saints roster? The one that reminds him of New Orleans post-Katrina?
CATCH THE BALL JACKASS
How do you drop that?
DEAD ARM
I have no ff horses in this race, no money to Gamblor, just my pure unadulterated hate for the Dalls Cowboys.
ALL MY HATE
That’ll do.
http://cdn.meme.am/instances/59450876.jpg
Just out of curiosity, when’s lung cancer awareness month, and where do I send my application to stand next to axl rose?
I used to play cards with a guy whose wife was a breast cancer survivor. We all paid a shitload so she could do the walk, because apparently, even if you fight off a horrible disease, you still can’t walk without a certain amount of funding. I’m a fan of my boobs, but I’m not a fan of wheedling funding out of survivors via that sort of pressure.
When I was in college, I subbed in for a buddy who paid to do a walk for a cure (head of a honors society and such-type) I was genuinely shocked at how much these folks have to pay to walk in a damn circle.
Was it a Komen walk? Komen is Satan’s sister-in-law. Fuck cancer, and fuck Komen.
Sean Lee is such a prettyboy
/no homo
I think Sean Lee got concussed during his sideline interview.
Virginia Madsen has really let herself go….
Not a fan of the pink scams.
I agree. Want to support a cause? Screw your wardrobe color and write a check instead.
The Rebirth Brass Band playing the anthem at a Saints game?
Of course not. That makes too much sense.
Do Jason Garrtes eyebrows have their own ecosystems?
I do believe the Geico ‘Europe’ commercial has fully run it’s course now, thank you.
Nowhere near as good as those “protect your chicken from Dokken” Norton ads.
Wha? Dokken is in an actual commercial?
No, the band needs the royalties in order to afford food now.
http://33.media.tumblr.com/2444c7b3c3f47fa0b2a71196544a5806/tumblr_neg5bk6WIg1txae4yo2_500.gif
Go Cowboys
http://i.imgur.com/5dB6BKV.jpg
Good lord this picture is great on so many levels.
“Waiting All Day for Sunday Night”
More like drinking all day for Sunday Night since the first game started at 9:00 a.m., thank God for cocaine and Red Bull….
The Saints. stuff be important cause they have undefeated peep in their division. The Cowboys. stuff be important cause they were supposed to be good, but Brandon Weeden, and now everyone cept the Eagles has two wins.
Does Chris Collinsworth always look kinda drunk?
Looks to me like he’s mid-stroke all the time.
The Patriots and Cowboys will be in the same place at the same time next week?
Let’s kill two teams with one meteor!
So that’s not Faith Hill’s legs…
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http://img.pandawhale.com/80613-Waynes-World-hey-I-love-you-ma-aD1g.gif
I really wish the SNF opening had Cutler standing at a urinal dismissively scowling at the crowd.
Since I’ve moved to Chicago, I try to NOOOOOOOOOOTTTTT CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRREE about stuff.
There was so much not caring from Cutty out there today.
I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
The second half of the second bottle of wine always gets me. I blame my normally shitty team for having a good moment. And now I say, FUCK DALLAS!!
http://31.media.tumblr.com/dd0848a62c9540e0e4f7c277ffa4b249/tumblr_nv5ltohKgi1tnrxndo1_500.gif
Yo, we have made it to the promised land. We can still finish 8 – 8!
WWWWOOOOOHOOOOOOO and YEEEEEFUKKINHAWWWWW it’s time for ‘Muricas Team in Prime Time right where they (only Patriots posers say ‘we’) belong!!!!11*
* For those that don’t know me, if my tongue was any further in my cheek it would protrude from my ear-hole. I am an unabashed a ‘Boys fan, but not a dick about it. I was behind them back when it was cool, and the only thing worse than a band-wagoner is someone who dumps their team when they become unpopular. No matter how much you might hate Dallas, win or lose you always get your money’s worth.
Let’s have a great game and YEEEEEEEE-HAWWWWWW I’M FUCKIN’ CRAAAAZZZYYYY!!!!
Being a JJ fan was never cool imo, bu ya aight. Still hope you lose. Cheers! WOO!
So before this nonsense gets started, i saw the martian this weekend and it was pretty great, any recs? Also, i never watched 2001 before but i know the plot by osmosis. Still worth it?
I believe you misspelled ‘Mahtian’.
[*Redacted] s are 2-2 !
http://legacy-cdn.smosh.com/smosh-pit/092010/dancefail-4.gif
I hope this is an entertaining game that ultimately ends with the Cowboys winning.
Plus all the ones.
I’m looking at potentially hitting 12 hours of NFL today. I think my liver might implode.
I remember exactly what it is called, but in Russia there is a term for drinking for more than 48 hours straight continuously. Its sort of a right of passage.
Hence why when I was working there, I refused to trust anything the local workers said and I refused to travel unless it was to the airport to leave.
I think 48 hours of drinking is called a “Half Yeltsin”
A “Full Yeltsin” is 96 hours, followed by being appointed Prime Minister.
All of my comments have just got a sponsor.
*sponsored by FanDraftDuelKings
Promo code: foolsseparatedfromtheirmoney
OH BUT WHAT IF THE GAME DOES END 0-0?!
hey guys
Hey Sill!
http://graphics8.nytimes.com/images/2015/02/03/business/dealbook/dbpix-smucker/dbpix-smucker-blog480.jpg
IAMJAMJAMISIAMJAMJAMISI
good day to you sir.
sup
yo
https://youtu.be/9BGJaSr49Cg
Are we ready for some fun?
http://d2ws0xxnnorfdo.cloudfront.net/meme/415136
He Named Me Malalalalalalalaneuna
That little girl is a bigger badass than anyone here. A bigger badass than anyone we know.
Juuuust missed the flex-scheduling window on this one
How’s ereybody doin! Dfo finally works well on my ipad, nice to see you folks after the uproxx induced ksk implosion.
Welcome. What took you so long?
It’s the little things…
https://youtu.be/o1X8jgrMhc4
Kathryn Tappen, I bet you’ve never heard some really clever puns about your name and attractiveness!
http://i61.tinypic.com/2qi64w1.jpg
2015 FAVSTARS $3/1000
I knew I should have started Rex Harrison.
Evening gents (and ladies). I’m satisfied with the name I picked out for myself on KSK a long, long time ago. But if I was making a new one for DFO, it would be Please Tanner, Don’t Purdum.
Patriots next week. Suggest the Cowboys win tonite.
And that “Weeden Gonna Weeden” is at least limited in its appearances.
Oh hi, McDonald’s. Your obnoxious commercials won’t change the fact I don’t eat your food.
Who’s all excite for Season 2 premiere of The Leftovers on their DVR tomorrow morning? Just me?
CARRIE COON <3
Rick and Morty season finale brooooooo
Shit, that will also be on DVR. May have to get up extra early.
Is the daughter’s friend going to be on? The one that fucked her dad?
Shades of American Beauty gal? I hope so!
Whoa whoa whoa who that?
Go Cowboys. Please no injuries.
Specially Lance Dunbar. Please!
http://a.video.nfl.com/films/2015/NFL_COM/in-game-highlight/NFLCOM/REG/4/151004_Murray_ball_flip_309225_3200k.mp4
Jim Irsay is a secret Cowboy’s fan?
He’s high, sees blue and white. He just got confused.
So five remain in the DFO survivor pool after everyone survives and advances.
Doopyz Gonna Doop
http://media.giphy.com/media/gKlFXa0eIe99u/giphy.gif
Imma go puff puff pass. Anyone want to hit this thing?