“Late in the evening the American Football Fan, awash in a sea of carbohydrates and intoxicants, settles down for the evening. Its energy is spent and the couch sings its siren song-few can resist. Those that have already found their way back to their lair begin to go over-in what could be called their minds-the things they’ll type on blog sites or shout into phones during call-in shows the following day.”
Dal @ NO: Good news for the Cowboys-Ingram is not Devonta Freeman and Spiller isn’t anyone at this point. Dallas should be able to put Taylor Swift behind this O-Line and get 75 yards out of her. The only concern would be the song she inevitably comes out with detailing the lack of support Weeden gave her and that she has to move on now. Can you see the despair in Brees’ eyes as he surveys the diseased deathscape that is the Saints roster? The one that reminds him of New Orleans post-Katrina?
Crazy to think that Weeden was older when he was drafted than any of us will ever be.
Looks like they got some Doopy Pants facemask there. Still, that was a very Weedenesque dropback.
That’s the second time Weeden’s been hit in the head and not gotten a call. My theory is that getting slapped upside the head actually helps him.
Weeden looking like Cowboys Drew Bledsoe in the pocket – stand perfectly still until you get sacked.
I see you have bought a Weeden. Would you like a sack for that?
You know who else was known for their illegal touching?
All of Mr. Whipple’s customers.
Also me at the Louvre.
I just want to state for the record that sheep lie.
No matter the flag, that was a shitty fucking spot.
Yeah, I thought he was at least a yard ahead of the first down marker.
He was well past it but really didn’t matter. That’s what happens when you’re down to 4th stringers.
Rob Ryan looks like Little Lord FattleRoy….’cause he’s pretty gotdammed fat and has long wavy hair.
FUCK YOU DALLAS
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-H3HlPA0FFBA/U4yWkDcY4KI/AAAAAAAAAHI/qCteTf0EhOc/s1600/cat-tumblr_mxeb87PD6l1s3mz5do1_400.gif
Weeden: KILL KILL
McFadden: [falls over]
AWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
NOPE FUCK YOU SO HAPPY I DON’T PAY MONEY FOR COFFEE.
From Peter King’s MMQB in an alternative universe
Well, at least that explains why Butler didn’t score.
Lucky Whitehead?
Sounds like every whitehead.
The Cowboys are going through players faster than Spinal Tap went through drummers.
http://esq.h-cdn.co/assets/cm/15/06/54d3f816e7b4d_-_udnycbe.gif
Bravo!
Did McFadden just..sit down?
At great risk to his health and bodily integrity, yes.
Whew. I was wondering if we would get through a Saints telecast without hearing about Katrina. Hell has not frozen over just yet.
I save money by fitting into child sized gloves. I’m an Alex Smith fan!
But is it a chocolate New Orleans?
Katrina! Flood yourself with your beers!
GUMBO GUMBO KATRINA GUMBO FEMA GUMBO GUMBO NAWLINS
Well, she’s attractive.
http://38.media.tumblr.com/b07916cc6caf2f19de5055fcb7f4e20d/tumblr_nmixxav1gz1u66brso1_500.gif
PLAY FOR THE TIE YOU FUCKS
Having taken Dallas +3, I support this plan.
Seconding.
http://38.media.tumblr.com/7ab5d6da36c99f2f32dcdc51bd3bb9f1/tumblr_np8umfayR91u66brso1_500.gif
Chad Pennington? That’s a great answer for a trivia question
I loved Chad but he wore #10 to let people know how far deepest pass he ever threw went.
To the 10, from the 15.
My favorite part of Sunday Night Football is the Chad Pennington’s Arm Memorial Stat Comparison.
Alex Smith is jealous of Pennington’s arm.
And his normal-sized hands.
“Okay, this time, give me Chad Pennington’s arm and Daunte Culpepper’s hands.”
— God, creating Alex Smith
Somebody still loves* you, Chad Pennington!
*remembers
One of these things is not like the other.
Chad Pennington! Drink!
It is very difficult to take a picture of your own ass, but continued Cowboy failure might prompt me to try.
Well shit, now I’m conflicted.
Pretty sure Instagram has a tutorial on this.
I like the idea of CJ Spiller as the next Darren Sproles because Tiny Darren has never had a season nearly as good as Spiller’s best.
Garrett digging that Big Red
Post Waxing.
http://cdn2.thegloss.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/Brazilian-bikini-wax-GIF.gif
Cute skirts!
That’s a clear fumble.
Touchdown Seahawks!
FUCK YOU DALLAS FUCK YOU *clap, clap*
I thought his knee touched down but it was a shit camera angle.
I hope am wrong.
You are not wrong.
Nope
Dallas first half:
http://www.secretly-important.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/2001-a-space-odyssey-ape.jpg
Dallas second half:
http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d172/TinyJoseph/KeirDulleaDavidBowman2001.gif
What are you doing Brandon?
Seriously Brandon, what the fuck are you doing?
“Brandon, I’m afraid I’m going to have to take that football away from you….. you seem angry Brandon, would you like a sedative?”
BUT FUCK DALLAS
“All of it?” — Tobias Funke, Analrapist
Daddy needs to get his rocks off!
There is a time post waxing when you don’t want any contact.
“post waxing”
Kind of like a post-waxing refractory period?
http://38.media.tumblr.com/1fedfab50b6ba16f245832f36794c572/tumblr_nt8reiZ8Si1u66brso1_500.gif
That was illegal contact? Yeeeeikes.
http://www.hrwiki.org/w/images/thumb/e/ef/No_Loafing_Sign.png/180px-No_Loafing_Sign.png
http://41.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lkg2xm3Cd51qzvx0to1_500.jpg
http://giant.gfycat.com/HelplessOblongAfricanelephant.gif
That is a week-ass call.
Loaf?
NAMESAKE MENTION!
/drinks
::starts watching game late, checks Doopy Pants’ stats::
10/17, 140 yards, 0TD
Never change, Doopy Pants.
Breaux is either really brave or really stupid.
Can’t he be both?
“Bourbon Street about a mile and a half from the Super Dome.”
Don’t play cute with us Al; you can tell us to the step how far you are from Bourbon Street right now.