Ari @ Det: The Cards have the 2nd most picks as of Wk. 5. Peterson, a CB that has only given up 85 yards so far, gets Calvin, who despite his overwhelming talent has only one score so far this year. The Spartans probably have a better O-Line than the Lions. Here’s a thought-maybe they should be switched out for this game. I don’t see anything worse happening. Well, at least the D-Line is…oh…uh. They’re shit as well. Tate and Mega have but one score between them. Detroit is in bad shape, folks.

Den @ Oak: Broncs have won last seven against the Raiders. It sure isn’t Peyton (6 TD’s, 5 Int’s) and company that is getting things done, it’s the D. I guess when it was said that the running game was the key to victory this year the word “defense” was mis-pronounced. Cooper looks to keep the wheels turning on an impressive rook season against a secondary that has only given up two TD’s. But he has two TD’s. Spooky, right?

NE @ Dal: The Cowfucks are going to be torn a new asshole today by a 9 TD, no picks Brady that has never lost to them. It’s Ugg’s and Gronk going up against Weeden and umm, Williams? Dallas seems to be completely out-matched here but I’ll [swallows small amount of bile] be cheering for them.