The Circle: Prelude

INT. CORPORATE BOARDROOM – DAY

A pair of corporate executives are seated in a conference room.  

FANDUEL MARKETING MANAGER: Wow, we sure have been taking some shots in the press lately!

DRAFTKINGS JUNIOR VICE PRESIDENT: Yup.

FANDUEL: I mean, we’re staring down the barrel of an investigation by the district attorney.

DRAFTKINGS: Yup.

FANDUEL: I guess it wasn’t such a great idea for us to let our employees have access to aggregated customer data about team selection and then allow them to use that sensitive information to win boatloads of money on each others’ sites.

DRAFTKINGS: Nope. Made it looked like the game is rigged.

FANDUEL: Apparently they’ve called in a high-priced consultant to help us right the ship. Here he is now.

— [door glides open] —

TOM BRADY: Gentlemen.

The daily fantasy sports executives gape, but not at TOM. TOM follows their gaze to the door hinges, which have self-lubricated to the point that that are literally oozing grease.

TOM BRADY: [frowns with distaste] My apologies.  I find that this…happens.

FANDUEL: No problem, Mr. Brady, we’ll get a janitor in to clean that right up.  [activates intercom]  Audrey, would you send in one of the custodians with a rag?

AUDREY: [through intercom] Certainly, sir.

BRADY: So I’m told that you men are having a bit of a problem with public relations.

DRAFTKINGS: That’s right. A whole bunch of people – including some of our customers – are starting to become incredibly hostile towards our service.

FANDUEL: They’re starting to feel like it’s a scam designed to separate steakheads from their money.

DRAFTKINGS: We’re being accused of…well, the biggest issue is that people believe our employees are using insider information to game the system.

BRADY: Ah, I see.  In that case, my solution for you is actually quite simple.  Deny everything.  Deny it vehemently and repeatedly, and act insulted that someone would even SUGGEST impropriety on your part. Act as though you are willing to fight them to hell and back to clear your good name.

A custodian arrives and begins cleaning up the door hinges.

FANDUEL: Bit of a problem there.

DRAFTKINGS: You see, we’ve already acknowledged that our employees play – and win – using each other’s sites.

FANDUEL: In fact, it’s something we use to lure people to come work for us.

BRADY: Hmm, that makes things more complicated. [ponders for a moment] This is quite the pickle.

DRAFTKINGS: [looking past Brady] HEY! I SEE YOU! NOBODY’S TALKING ABOUT YOU!  GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!

JIMMY CLAUSEN, who had poked his head around the corner, sulks off.

BRADY: I’m going to call in a friend of mine – he’s what’s known as a “fixer” – to help out with this one. [punches numbers into speakerphone]. He’s very good at what he does – his nickname is “The Hammer”.

RYAN MALLET: [answers phone] Oh, hey Tom! I…

BRADY: [hangs up, chuckles] I can’t believe he keeps falling for that.  Anyhow, the answer to your problem is actually quite simple.  You will find that…

BRADY: What the hell was that?

DRAFTKINGS: Oh, it was our newest ad.  We’re branching out from football broadcasts into other potential viewing arenas.

BRADY: See, this gets to the crux of your problem.  You’re…

BRADY: [growing frustrated] It’s actually quite…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bfCm6PJuL5I

BRADY: WHAT THE FUCK IS…

BRADY: …GOING…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NwJnBV52rUE

BRADY: …ON…

BRADY: …HERE?!?!?!?!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VDa-cDu8KYg

Suddenly, the lighting across the tableaux changes, and takes on a reddish hue.  TOM gasps in horror as the unblinking daily fantasy sports executives freeze in place.  Their skin takes on the soulless sheen of wax; they are revealed to be nothing more than mannequins.  The janitor turns around, clearing his throat.

BRADY: Jim?  What the hell are you doing here?

JIM McNALLY: Oh Tom, don’t tell me you think you survived that Greg Hardy sack in the first quarter?  A man such as him does not issue idle threats.

BRADY: I did!  I got right back up!  I threw for a pair of touchdowns later on!

McNALLY: [smiles ominously] You mean to tell me you still think you won that game?

TOM is speechless.  He looks around the room, and tries to remember how he arrived at this location.  He tries to remember a single thing that happened before he walked through that door, and realizes he cannot.

BRADY: I…

McNALLY: [laughs diabolically]

BRADY: …where am I?

[flames flicker]

[fin]