Your Late Afternoon Thread

Car @ Sea: I doubt very much that Graham will get going finally against a Panthers D that have allowed only 1 TD and have 3 picks when the TE has been targeted. On the other side, Olsen accounts for just over 30% of the team’s receiving yards, leads the team in targets and is playing against a squad that allows an 81% completion rate to the TE. Lynch is listed as questionable with a hamstring but is expected to play. He’s gonna get battered in what figures to be a very physical game. (aren’t they all?) The Hawks have had some problems closing things out-they’ve allowed almost as many points (48) in the 4th as they have in the other 3 quarters combined (50).

SD @ GB: Any plans to move the Chargers to L.A. will have to be discussed with the Packers. Why? Because with a 9-1 record against San Diego it would seem as though Green Bay owns them. You can count on Rivers throwing a pick today-not because the opposing D is so good (though it is) but because he has done so in ten of the last eleven. The winner of the “Right Time, Right Place” award goes to James Jones. The guy that was cut by the G-men and came back to the fold and leads the team with 394 yards and 5 TD’s. Gordon may be in for a good game-GB has handed 141 yds. to Forte and 159 to Gurley. However, this looks like a done deal for the Pack. Football Outsiders has them ranked as 5th (offense) 4th (defense) and 3rd (overall) best team in the NFL. Add to that the fact that Rodgers is 48-10 at home…well, you do the math.

Bal @ SF: Our third and final battle this week featuring 1-win teams. Yay! If Forsett’s ankle can’t go the Ravens RB situation looks like rook Javorius Allen and 3 undrafted FA’s, one of which (Terrence Magee) has been with the team for three whole weeks! The other two are Akeem Hunt and Raheem Mostert. I’d make the old joke that they couldn’t even get arrested in this town but they have minority status and it is Baltimore. Time to shine, guys. It’s almost like one Raymond Rice is dead to the Ravens. Remember that vaunted Baltimore D?-Carr (351 yds.), Dalton (388) and McCown (457!) certainly didn’t when they played against them earlier in the year. Kaep, you’re next.

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Gratliff

And that’s why no Eddie Lacy

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Interesting kickoff technique, SD. It’s probably fair to expect that guy to muff that once in three tries.

/serious

Old School Zero

I just think we’re dumb and out of useful ideas.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Bengals Batter the Bills in Buffalo. B. Bortles baffed by benching.

blaxabbath

God damn it! SEA/CAR is exactly why they need to broadcast division rival games!

montythisseemsstrangetome

Mary-Kate and Ashley are so proud of their brother Greg right now.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“When you don’t think of them as dummies, something amazing happens…”

– Rejected slogan for National Deafness Awareness Week

Martin

Then they shouldn’t make Lou Ferrigno the spokesman.

Martin

The story of this Carolina–Seattle game.

WCS

comment image

synapticmisfires

Sam Shields: *boink*

bourb0nblues

Dead Special Panther

Redshirt

…and his kneecap has been turned into a fine powder.

synapticmisfires

The Packers don’t sit back and picked apart. They blitz and get picked apart.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I really don’t care about this game at all. It is on but I couldn’t tell you what is happening. Lizzy Caplan just because.

http://ak-hdl.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr06/2013/8/16/11/anigif_enhanced-buzz-5750-1376665398-12.gif

Martin

wha…………………………

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“What part is flanks on a human? Vagina?”

Hahahhahahahhauha fuck you cocky Pete.

Brick Meathook

GRITTY

synapticmisfires

Greg Olsen. Thank God the Bears moved his lazy ass out of town.

evilbeaver8

Has CBS considered maybe stamerrin’ Bill Cowher isn’t the right guy to be doing in game updates?

blaxabbath

Gritdown!

Martin

can’t breathe

too funny

montythisseemsstrangetome

CAN I SEE SOME SAD SEATTLE PLEASE?

WCS

“Does this annoy you? I’m not touching you.”

Martin

Best viewed on a phone, obviously

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Good update on sexy Friday! Thanks.

WCS

#b7own7eadcomin

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

These alternate Packers uniforms are just terrible. I don’t think yellow and blue could work together in a way that is appealing

http://lgcdn.amiclubwear.com/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/s/w/swimsuit-twopiece-ami-dct-9yellaceroyalblue_1.jpg

… Ok, maybe they can, but the Packers uniforms are still awful.

She’d look better without it

makeitsnowondem

Max Rockatansky was hurt earlier but he’s returned to the game.

laserguru

Oh shit. Oh kids them short ribs were good enough for Jehovah.
This is your window to weight gain.

Old School Zero

I need to read your article; apologies that I have not yet.

Short ribs are the best. I always put a few in my chili, and they’re like little pockets of pure indulgence.

blaxabbath

Are short ribs different than regular ribs?

I have a bad habit of reading a recipe, not being able to find the exact ingredients, then fucking it up with some poorly reasoned substitute.

laserguru

They are. Short ribs are beef and they’re cut on the bias across the bone so you get meat, fat and marrow. Slow cooking lends to savory, fatty meaty deliciousness.

Old School Zero

Your ass is mine, Steve From Corporate

makeitsnowondem

Nah, Bradford’s got me.

Old School Zero

You’re taking that close win too hard; or you have a concussion; or you’re drunk. You just put your faith in Sam Bradford.

Martin

It’s going to be funny as balls when Seattle loses

The Mighty Feklahr

I don’t have my glasses on and it looks like Mike McCarthy stole Jim Harbaugh’s hat.

WCS

He also stole his khakis, but, Mike McCarthy ain’t squeezing into those in this lifetime.

Please Seahags, blow another game.

The Mighty Feklahr

KKKKKKAAAAAAAAAAAA….er, UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHN!

The Mighty Feklahr

dang rivers was boring holes for a minute there

Lothar of the Hill People

Fucking fuckity fuck fuck fuck.

Late to the party. I drowned my sorrows about the Bears in some Five Guys (it was closer than Culver’s).

That’s the exact game I hate hate hate it when my team loses. A winnable game. In overtime. WIth multiple points where they could’ve stopped the opponent. Or put more points on the board. The refs made bad calls that hurt the Bears, so I can’t blame the Bears for fucking up–nor can I lay all the blame on the refs, because the Bears couldn’t stop The Stay-Puft Marshmallow Quarterback throwing over the goddamn middle to his no-name tight end. And I can’t rail on the refs, because a couple questionable calls went the Bears’ way. And I can’t bitch too much about the phantom TD that the replay awarded the Lions, because I disagree with the rule that should have been interpreted correctly to make it an INT instead of a TD.

Cutler had a good game, but he threw a bad pick.

Fuckity fucking fuck fuck.

At least I’m giving a mid-term to one of my classes tomorrow, and I haven’t finished writing the exam, so I can put in some mean questions (no, I don’t really do that, but I can pretend). In my other class, my autistic student over the weekend emailed me an assignment that was due 2 weeks ago, and he pretended that he sent the email on time. When I pointed out to him all the info from the header and from the document that everything indicated the file was created, attached, and emailed well after the due date, he went silent. I’ll see his Rain Man ass tomorrow evening. If he tries to sell me more bullshit, I’m gonna make and maintain eye contact with him until he wets himself.

Shit, I hate when the Bears lose in a crappy way. Really craps up my week. And now I’m gonna have to run extra to burn off the Five Guys bacon cheeseburger.

Make me laugh, lady and gents.

Old School Zero

/makes circle with thumb and forefinger
/moves other forefinger in and out of the circle

montythisseemsstrangetome

HEY! No porn in the comments, OSZ. We discussed this earlier.

Brick Meathook
blaxabbath

You know what would help me with autism awareness? Explaining how I need to handle austistic people. I don’t need some old white woman just jumping out yelling, “Awareness! Awareness! Don’t call them freaks! Don’t be mean!” Like, tell me where their brain is at. Do they understand what I’m saying and just taking longer to respond? How can I show them respect? I know not to tie them to the hitch of my truck and speed through Montana — but what behaviors might I expect a little closer to home?

I realize I could google all this but, fuck, you get your own month and puzzle piece and I still can’t fucking identify the condition.

blaxabbath

Also, at 100 cals per mile, you’re gonna be knocking out an EXTRA half-marathon.

Lothar of the Hill People

Don’t remind me. I’m just going to take tomorrow off eating.

So I’ll be extra angry when I see my autistic student.

You know, I can handle his autistic needs. I can.

It’s when he pulls the stupid crap that regular students pull (trying to weasel deadlines, more time than his accommodation states for quizzes, etc.) that it really bothers me. Because I have to handle him with kid gloves.

The Mighty Feklahr

Scifres ill?

Old School Zero

shit

evilbeaver8

Insane in the Brandon Mebane.

Brick Meathook
blaxabbath

What do those like lines of tape down guy’s arms do?

synapticmisfires

Racing stripes.

blaxabbath

I like that this is your answer to everything.

Old School Zero

keeps their guts inside

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Literally nothing except placebo effect. It’s the next iteration of Magnetic Power Bracelets

blaxabbath

Why does fanduel have so many promo codes? Are they trying to hone in the most effective ad spots?

makeitsnowondem

If they advertise the same one over and over it doesn’t feel like a deal anymore.

Old School Zero

ad tracking and promo stats

synapticmisfires

Racing stripes.

WCS

Navel rings: the 90’s precursor to tramp stamps

The Mighty Feklahr

Because of your screen name, I cannot subconsciously separate van and Trestman imagery in my head. Couple that with the fact that you normally post hot women, any one of three terms (“Marc Trestman”, “van”, “babe”) lands me squarely into mental imagery of Marc Trtestman driving around in a creepy van filled with women, and I really like chilling out to that.

WCS

Boldin ded

Old School Zero

no boldin no

makeitsnowondem

Immortan Joe is winning this one pretty soundly. Don’t see how Imperator Furiosa comes back.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Lazerface doesn’t understand why they won’t give Joe back his breeders. Greg Hardy doesn’t understand why he didn’t go after them uppity bitches with more guns. Johnny Football is walking around with orange spraypaint on his face yelling and demanding that his offensive line “witness [him]!”

evilbeaver8

“They take it hard…and so does my wife…because lubricants are for satanists and Unitarians”
-Philip Rivers

The Mighty Feklahr

I bet Danny Woodhead is the midwife.

litre_cola

8 children?

“Step your game up: – A. Cromartie

The Mighty Feklahr

8 is a lot for a white guy!

The Mighty Feklahr
WCS

I mean, Northwestern did experience bij yesterday…

The Mighty Feklahr

The garmonbozia from that sent me plaid for life.

WCS

#NFLKickers

evilbeaver8

So the Packers score a 65 yrd rushing td…and from memory…have run the ball like twice in the 15 plays since…seems about right.

The Mighty Feklahr

What’s up, forshak-lapping yIntaghs?

Old School Zero

FEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

feels like I just cleared my throat

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

James Starks is up, is what! And my BAC. And apparently my PSA, which I don’t know if that’s good or bad.

Kungjitsu

This piece of baktag always makes me laugh.

Martin

The Lesser Matron Saint and her non-union Mexican equivalent.

comment image

Martin

Actually, Alejandra Guilmant is Emily Ratajkowski’s non-union Mexican equivalent, since she’s also done a fuck ton of nudity.