Car @ Sea: I doubt very much that Graham will get going finally against a Panthers D that have allowed only 1 TD and have 3 picks when the TE has been targeted. On the other side, Olsen accounts for just over 30% of the team’s receiving yards, leads the team in targets and is playing against a squad that allows an 81% completion rate to the TE. Lynch is listed as questionable with a hamstring but is expected to play. He’s gonna get battered in what figures to be a very physical game. (aren’t they all?) The Hawks have had some problems closing things out-they’ve allowed almost as many points (48) in the 4th as they have in the other 3 quarters combined (50).
SD @ GB: Any plans to move the Chargers to L.A. will have to be discussed with the Packers. Why? Because with a 9-1 record against San Diego it would seem as though Green Bay owns them. You can count on Rivers throwing a pick today-not because the opposing D is so good (though it is) but because he has done so in ten of the last eleven. The winner of the “Right Time, Right Place” award goes to James Jones. The guy that was cut by the G-men and came back to the fold and leads the team with 394 yards and 5 TD’s. Gordon may be in for a good game-GB has handed 141 yds. to Forte and 159 to Gurley. However, this looks like a done deal for the Pack. Football Outsiders has them ranked as 5th (offense) 4th (defense) and 3rd (overall) best team in the NFL. Add to that the fact that Rodgers is 48-10 at home…well, you do the math.
Bal @ SF: Our third and final battle this week featuring 1-win teams. Yay! If Forsett’s ankle can’t go the Ravens RB situation looks like rook Javorius Allen and 3 undrafted FA’s, one of which (Terrence Magee) has been with the team for three whole weeks! The other two are Akeem Hunt and Raheem Mostert. I’d make the old joke that they couldn’t even get arrested in this town but they have minority status and it is Baltimore. Time to shine, guys. It’s almost like one Raymond Rice is dead to the Ravens. Remember that vaunted Baltimore D?-Carr (351 yds.), Dalton (388) and McCown (457!) certainly didn’t when they played against them earlier in the year. Kaep, you’re next.
And that’s why no Eddie Lacy
http://33.media.tumblr.com/6f306edd89fc7bee443cb3be08124051/tumblr_nj2pmymePs1s2wio8o1_500.gif
Interesting kickoff technique, SD. It’s probably fair to expect that guy to muff that once in three tries.
/serious
I just think we’re dumb and out of useful ideas.
Bengals Batter the Bills in Buffalo. B. Bortles baffed by benching.
God damn it! SEA/CAR is exactly why they need to broadcast division rival games!
Mary-Kate and Ashley are so proud of their brother Greg right now.
“When you don’t think of them as dummies, something amazing happens…”
– Rejected slogan for National Deafness Awareness Week
Then they shouldn’t make Lou Ferrigno the spokesman.
http://40.media.tumblr.com/e9405b487a9c1cf7b9d3f76923b23178/tumblr_njp2yw0Qlc1s39r69o1_1280.png
http://36.media.tumblr.com/daca4825f772f1cfe6e5a491e75bdeea/tumblr_njp2yw0Qlc1s39r69o4_1280.png
The story of this Carolina–Seattle game.
Sam Shields: *boink*
Dead Special Panther
…and his kneecap has been turned into a fine powder.
The Packers don’t sit back and picked apart. They blitz and get picked apart.
I really don’t care about this game at all. It is on but I couldn’t tell you what is happening. Lizzy Caplan just because.
http://ak-hdl.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr06/2013/8/16/11/anigif_enhanced-buzz-5750-1376665398-12.gif
wha…………………………
“What part is flanks on a human? Vagina?”
Hahahhahahahhauha fuck you cocky Pete.
GRITTY
Greg Olsen. Thank God the Bears moved his lazy ass out of town.
http://41.media.tumblr.com/437a3aac3a6d90922598aa87dcfd9737/tumblr_np9phiNKVw1sb75bgo1_400.jpg
Has CBS considered maybe stamerrin’ Bill Cowher isn’t the right guy to be doing in game updates?
Gritdown!
can’t breathe
too funny
CAN I SEE SOME SAD SEATTLE PLEASE?
http://i.giphy.com/3o85xIUMVQyYCzlNio.gif
“Does this annoy you? I’m not touching you.”
Best viewed on a phone, obviously
Good update on sexy Friday! Thanks.
#b7own7eadcomin
These alternate Packers uniforms are just terrible. I don’t think yellow and blue could work together in a way that is appealing
http://lgcdn.amiclubwear.com/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/s/w/swimsuit-twopiece-ami-dct-9yellaceroyalblue_1.jpg
… Ok, maybe they can, but the Packers uniforms are still awful.
She’d look better without it
Max Rockatansky was hurt earlier but he’s returned to the game.
http://40.media.tumblr.com/5a2be64a384e319a77d04dd73db99f01/tumblr_nvr7srlhHK1sumk4po1_1280.jpg
Oh shit. Oh kids them short ribs were good enough for Jehovah.
This is your window to weight gain.
I need to read your article; apologies that I have not yet.
Short ribs are the best. I always put a few in my chili, and they’re like little pockets of pure indulgence.
Are short ribs different than regular ribs?
I have a bad habit of reading a recipe, not being able to find the exact ingredients, then fucking it up with some poorly reasoned substitute.
They are. Short ribs are beef and they’re cut on the bias across the bone so you get meat, fat and marrow. Slow cooking lends to savory, fatty meaty deliciousness.
Your ass is mine, Steve From Corporate
Nah, Bradford’s got me.
You’re taking that close win too hard; or you have a concussion; or you’re drunk. You just put your faith in Sam Bradford.
It’s going to be funny as balls when Seattle loses
I don’t have my glasses on and it looks like Mike McCarthy stole Jim Harbaugh’s hat.
He also stole his khakis, but, Mike McCarthy ain’t squeezing into those in this lifetime.
Please Seahags, blow another game.
KKKKKKAAAAAAAAAAAA….er, UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHN!
dang rivers was boring holes for a minute there
Fucking fuckity fuck fuck fuck.
Late to the party. I drowned my sorrows about the Bears in some Five Guys (it was closer than Culver’s).
That’s the exact game I hate hate hate it when my team loses. A winnable game. In overtime. WIth multiple points where they could’ve stopped the opponent. Or put more points on the board. The refs made bad calls that hurt the Bears, so I can’t blame the Bears for fucking up–nor can I lay all the blame on the refs, because the Bears couldn’t stop The Stay-Puft Marshmallow Quarterback throwing over the goddamn middle to his no-name tight end. And I can’t rail on the refs, because a couple questionable calls went the Bears’ way. And I can’t bitch too much about the phantom TD that the replay awarded the Lions, because I disagree with the rule that should have been interpreted correctly to make it an INT instead of a TD.
Cutler had a good game, but he threw a bad pick.
Fuckity fucking fuck fuck.
At least I’m giving a mid-term to one of my classes tomorrow, and I haven’t finished writing the exam, so I can put in some mean questions (no, I don’t really do that, but I can pretend). In my other class, my autistic student over the weekend emailed me an assignment that was due 2 weeks ago, and he pretended that he sent the email on time. When I pointed out to him all the info from the header and from the document that everything indicated the file was created, attached, and emailed well after the due date, he went silent. I’ll see his Rain Man ass tomorrow evening. If he tries to sell me more bullshit, I’m gonna make and maintain eye contact with him until he wets himself.
Shit, I hate when the Bears lose in a crappy way. Really craps up my week. And now I’m gonna have to run extra to burn off the Five Guys bacon cheeseburger.
Make me laugh, lady and gents.
/makes circle with thumb and forefinger
/moves other forefinger in and out of the circle
HEY! No porn in the comments, OSZ. We discussed this earlier.
http://i.imgur.com/OdBQVe3.gifv
You know what would help me with autism awareness? Explaining how I need to handle austistic people. I don’t need some old white woman just jumping out yelling, “Awareness! Awareness! Don’t call them freaks! Don’t be mean!” Like, tell me where their brain is at. Do they understand what I’m saying and just taking longer to respond? How can I show them respect? I know not to tie them to the hitch of my truck and speed through Montana — but what behaviors might I expect a little closer to home?
I realize I could google all this but, fuck, you get your own month and puzzle piece and I still can’t fucking identify the condition.
Also, at 100 cals per mile, you’re gonna be knocking out an EXTRA half-marathon.
Don’t remind me. I’m just going to take tomorrow off eating.
So I’ll be extra angry when I see my autistic student.
You know, I can handle his autistic needs. I can.
It’s when he pulls the stupid crap that regular students pull (trying to weasel deadlines, more time than his accommodation states for quizzes, etc.) that it really bothers me. Because I have to handle him with kid gloves.
Scifres ill?
shit
Insane in the Brandon Mebane.
http://i.imgur.com/7ezNUaA.gifv
What do those like lines of tape down guy’s arms do?
Racing stripes.
I like that this is your answer to everything.
keeps their guts inside
Literally nothing except placebo effect. It’s the next iteration of Magnetic Power Bracelets
Why does fanduel have so many promo codes? Are they trying to hone in the most effective ad spots?
If they advertise the same one over and over it doesn’t feel like a deal anymore.
ad tracking and promo stats
Racing stripes.
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-EqIMYMDKJ4s/UnunJI5GssI/AAAAAAAAOuk/8Hl7r9J1RGE/s1600/Rachel-Bilson.gif
Navel rings: the 90’s precursor to tramp stamps
Because of your screen name, I cannot subconsciously separate van and Trestman imagery in my head. Couple that with the fact that you normally post hot women, any one of three terms (“Marc Trestman”, “van”, “babe”) lands me squarely into mental imagery of Marc Trtestman driving around in a creepy van filled with women, and I really like chilling out to that.
Boldin ded
no boldin no
Immortan Joe is winning this one pretty soundly. Don’t see how Imperator Furiosa comes back.
Lazerface doesn’t understand why they won’t give Joe back his breeders. Greg Hardy doesn’t understand why he didn’t go after them uppity bitches with more guns. Johnny Football is walking around with orange spraypaint on his face yelling and demanding that his offensive line “witness [him]!”
“They take it hard…and so does my wife…because lubricants are for satanists and Unitarians”
-Philip Rivers
I bet Danny Woodhead is the midwife.
8 children?
“Step your game up: – A. Cromartie
8 is a lot for a white guy!
DFO: Hey, Fek! How is your football Sunday going?
Fek: Mmm…fine. http://pre00.deviantart.net/71a6/th/pre/f/2011/232/4/a/serious_derp_face_by_angesteckt-d479rg7.jpg
DFO: Really?
Fek: Yup. http://trippy.me/wp-content/uploads/Trippy-Crown.gif
I mean, Northwestern did experience bij yesterday…
The garmonbozia from that sent me plaid for life.
#NFLKickers
So the Packers score a 65 yrd rushing td…and from memory…have run the ball like twice in the 15 plays since…seems about right.
What’s up, forshak-lapping yIntaghs?
FEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
feels like I just cleared my throat
James Starks is up, is what! And my BAC. And apparently my PSA, which I don’t know if that’s good or bad.
This piece of baktag always makes me laugh.
http://41.media.tumblr.com/13ccd6e1a7fa8a0e21ac13dd6950c4c4/tumblr_nulymrMFvN1uq3x5lo1_1280.jpg
The Lesser Matron Saint and her non-union Mexican equivalent.
Actually, Alejandra Guilmant is Emily Ratajkowski’s non-union Mexican equivalent, since she’s also done a fuck ton of nudity.