Your Late Afternoon Slate O’ Games Open Thread

NYG @ TB: JPP’s Back! will not be talked about nearly as much as his missing digits. If he can do something/anything to help it would be much appreciated by the league leader in yards allowed. Couple that with being last in the league in sacks and you’ve got a functional alcoholic examining his options. Thanks Steve Spagnuolo. LB Kwon Alexander won his second Defensive Rookie of the Week award under trying circumstances. His nickname is Genghis Kwon. Tampa came out with a win in OT against the Falcons last week despite blowing a 17 point lead. I expect the Giants to blow that sort of lead this week.

Atl @ SF: How do the Falcons come away with a win here? I think it all comes down to “don’t f*ck up”. They’ve given the ball away 12 times in the last four games-that’s got to stop. Things must be bad when as an organization you turn to QB Gabbert to solve your problems. Weird stat: In his last 4 games Kaep did not, repeat, not turn the ball over-no Int’s or fumbles. 30 yr. old RB Thomas joins this rapidly sinking ship. He hasn’t seen any action since being set adrift by the Saints last March. His legs should be fresh and ready to go though, right?

Den @ Ind: If I was a schedule-maker back in the spring I would have paired these two up in a heartbeat. Now it doesn’t look all that great. Peyton has been up and down all year long. His game-day QBR’s have ranged from 25.2 (2 weeks ago vs. Cleveland) to 93.6 (last week vs. Green Bay) Luck is 7th in QBR in the fourth quarter of games and dead last for the first three. I doubt he’ll put things together against the Denver D. Retread Rob Chudzinski who has been with The U (blarf!), Cleveland, the Chargers, Cleveland again, the Chargers again, Carolina, Cleveland again and now the Colts will set things right for the O. You just watch.

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Bortleback

27 yards to the record…..runs down to the 27. COINCIDENCE?!

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I really need Phillip Rivers wife to go into labor tomorrow night (I am just assuming she is pregnant) or Martellus Bennett to decide to hold out for a new contract tomorrow or both to possibly get a FF win this week. Even then I need McFadden to stay under 25 + whatever Gould puts up.

ThursdaySkyGoddess

A couple of weeks ago a commentator said she was due with their EIGHTH kid any day now, but I never heard anything about her having it yet.

Covalent Blonde

I’m assuming that it’s because she doesn’t have electricity on account of spending her money feeding her litter?

*Hope she’s well

King Hippo

think she did have it. Probably just fell out and she continued toiling in the fields

Covalent Blonde

Holy fuck, it really is 8? I mean her vagina is a clown car, right?

fleshwound_NPG

Good for the Colts if it holds, but the dream is starting to shatter
https://twitter.com/xmasape/status/661412877828493312

King Hippo

fucking shit fuck

Brick Meathook

shitty fucking shit

entropy

An ex of mine had a great phase, “hell fuck shitfire and damnation,” which I have since stolen. I grant it to everyone here.

King Hippo

I so exasperated my mom once when I was a teenager that she called me a “fucking fuck.” She does NOT enjoy my telling that story, though I found it cool, then and now.

Brick Meathook

Why in the name of jesus fucking christ and all his holy goddamned cocksucking angels are you using such foul language?

entropy

I was in a catholic school until I entered high school; in 8th grade, I had a nun refer to me, and I quote, as a “fucking jerk.”

I mention this in interviews.

John Difool

I’ll take, “Things Bruce Jenner said after waking up the next morning with tits and no penis for $200, Alex.”

Doktor Zymm

I’ll eat this lime wedge. NO SCURVY FOR ME!

entropy

Feckin English.

King Hippo

Urge to kill…rising (again)

King Hippo

one second earlier and it’s 24-17 Donks

King Hippo

and then THAT

entropy

Airborne Toxic Event’s “Duet” is a very, VERY sad song. ppl forget that.

Smithchez

Faster than a speeding supermarket security guard! Leaps uncooperative sexual partners in a single bound! He is…SUPER RAPIST!

theeWeeBabySeamus

…right in the pussy.

John Difool

That Hyundai commercial where that beta guy is too afraid to wake up his baby, walks outside and gets in his car and starts scream celebrating and terrorizing his elderly neighbors after Houston Texans win…. it would be 10X better with a garden hose running from the tailpipe to the window.

entropy

I hate that guy, not least because he goes outside so as not to waje the babby and then IMMEDIATELY BLOWS THE FUCKING HORN.

Spanky Datass

Ads that have honking horns, crying babies …. and a few other things that have slipped my mind put me in full product boycott mode.

Brick Meathook

THE HOSE IS INCLUDED IN THE PERFORMANCE PACKAGE OPTION AVAILABLE AT YOUR HYUNDAI DEALER TODAY

Smithchez

Wait, redzone cut away. Did Kaepernick run any plays or did Tomsula just elect to punt rather than let him play QB?

Covalent Blonde

He would make such a lovely RB. Why can’t we have the ostrich just ostrich and not try to throw with his vestigial wings?

King Hippo

NEVAR change, Bucs

Doktor Zymm

This Yinzer is entertaining. He just made a Blaine Gabbert joke.

Smithchez

Shockingly, the Giants playcall was to throw to OBJ. How could the Bucs have seen it coming?

Brick Meathook

THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX

Bortleback

Okay, so we have to seriously consider that maybe the Broncos just play like shit at the start of games so people underestimate them, despite them demolishing their opponents in the last 31ish minutes of the game.

Senor Weaselo

31 minutes of competence?

Smithchez

Good start, Kaep!

Covalent Blonde

Welcome back, Kaep. Goddamnit….

King Hippo

they done killed THE FLOW?

Covalent Blonde

Confession: listening to audio from Niners, watching Clots. Can’t really say what knocked out the Flow. I do knot that Kaep’s gonna Kaep

Smithchez

Did the Colts just leave at halftime or something?

King Hippo

PeyPey ate some stem cell gummies

King Hippo

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And MRSA, that’s the Bucs companion disease.

Covalent Blonde

Holy shit! What a sweet block for that 1st Denver down. Gritty.

King Hippo

offense starting to click

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Any suggestions for a TV show I should watch with the Denver game on mute on my other monitor so I can sort of watch and kill some time until… fuck, it is Phi/Dal tonight? Maybe I should just try to keep up with entropy’s drinking tonight instead.

Romonobyl

Watching any NFC East Conference game sober is highly not recommended.

entropy

NO ONE SHOULD EVER KEEP UP WITH MY DRIKING

That said, I am a big fan of Elementary, if you’ve never watched it, for a lot of reasons, not least being lucy goddam lui

Romonobyl

Erementaly?

entropy

Rucy Rui!

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I liked the first 2ish seasons of it but gave up on it, I am thinking because it was my third favorite TV Show/Movie Sherlock Holmes series actively on, never really disliked it. I stopped watching before this lovely lady started showing up because I randomly caught a glimpse of an ep she was on shortly after

http://wac.450f.edgecastcdn.net/80450F/guyspeed.com/files/2014/04/Natalie-Dormer-6.gif

entropy

Pick it back up, if you’ve no active dislike for it. because it’s very well done, and it has LUCY GOD DAMN LUI. But seriously, it’s fun and entertaining and johnny Lee Miller was also Sickboy.

Doktor Zymm

At the Yinzer bar. Ordered something called ‘hot mess fries’ which I am attempting to eat with a fork while drinking an admirably strong vodka soda and talking to a yinzer who has odell beckham on his fantasy team.

Romonobyl

Would those fries fit into my low-sodium diet?

Doktor Zymm

The magic eight ball says: Doubtful

entropy

Much stronger than I am; one of my best friends is a Steeler fan, and I can’t be around many of them without becoming irrationally violent.

(I got that all out without a tuping mystake)\

(GOD DAMN IT)

King Hippo

try that sweet fake again

King Hippo

UGH, tackle FFS

Smithchez

MANNINGCEPTION

Brick Meathook

Yes Jim let’s remember the women who served on the USS Indianapolis

And Phil, let us remember Quint from Amity Island, MA who died tragically 40 years ago.

John Difool

Maybe he was referring to the female sharks that were served dinner aboard the Indianapolis after she sank.

Smithchez

Giving their best receiver a ten yard cushion on 3rd and 9 is an interesting choice.

John Difool
Romonobyl

Does any else watch that and think…dual handjobs?

John Difool

No, but now that you mention it…

Bortleback

Optimum tip-to-tip efficiency?

entropy

That was the best math-based joke of the past few years.

Clots

Romonobyl

OK, I take a break and do some work in the garage (real men do that), and come back to a…game?

entropy

Truth. Although, I have always enjoyed keeping a table saw in the house so that the neighbors worry when I start it up and don’t leave for a few ho

entropy

hours. A few hours. Yep. Drunk as fuck now.

King Hippo

Let’s do a thing, Donks!!!

entropy

Yeah. So I’m playing Gabriel’s “in Your Eyes” a few times. I’m cool with it, and only doing so because playing “Supper’s Ready” on repeat takes all goddamn night.

Romonobyl

I actually like that song.

entropy

Which one? I have no problem with anything Pete’s recorded.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ditto. But I do have a hard time listening to that one.

entropy

In Your Eyes? In some ways, so do I, but I’m drunk as fuck and feeling like it’s necessary, so why not?

Romonobyl

In Your Eyes…slow song but well done.

entropy

I fuckin love Peter Gabriel. I never understood the appeal of live music, as when I was younger, it was something in the background while I did my drawing thing… and then I saw Peter Gabriel, the 2nd of 3 shows he did for the Us album.

I was fucking transfixed. Live music, done well, with heart and humor and joy, is one of the great hidden joys of this world.

entropy

And that’s as real as I’m getting for this evening.

HOW THE FUCK WE DOIN’, BOYS?!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hee hee….eat a bag of dicks baby horseys.

King Hippo

SANDERS WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Smithchez

Well isn’t this interesting.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh Hippo…forgots to tell ya. With teh departure of Trevor Lacey, Freeman has traded in #10 for #1. Made me do a double take at first.

King Hippo

any Talibeards?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh yeah….plenty.

And Rowan will be sporting the bball version of the Giraffe Sprint (patent pending) totes fo sho.

JustStopDude

So HP is trying to say my future is to sit on a bench with three other idiots, rotting my days away?!?

entropy

If I can pick the idiots, I’m OK with this being my future. Beats my “a porch, a rocking chair, and a bucket of rocks” plan.

King Hippo

Good defense, finally.

entropy

Men. MEN. I am below 10 beers left for the night. Things may get horrible from here on out. That is all.

Senor Weaselo

Pray for Entropy.

entropy

Seriously. I am OK. I have a comfortable couch, a lovely bed, and warmth. I’m just letting everyone know that about an hour from now, I am NOT RESPIONSIBLE. I’d give my fucking keys to my neighbors if they were there.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Is booze delivery legal? If it is, I just had teh million dollar epiphany.

I know places that deliver.

Bortleback
entropy

Someone’s played Case Day before.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Oh, good, you have been slowing down. You will make it through the afternoon games. No chance to make it to the night games still

entropy

DO YOU DOUBT ME, SIR?!

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I meant with beers left

entropy

I STILL HAVE VODKA

theeWeeBabySeamus

Luck getting a little froggy.
Time to put that white boy on his arse.

King Hippo

catch that shit, TJ!!!

Fronkenshteen

Just went down by NINETY (90) this week in ff. That ought to make a few people feel a little better, I guess.

King Hippo

welcome to my last week!

Senor Weaselo

Your opponent has Antonio Brown?

Fronkenshteen

DeAngelo & Newton. Oof.