Your Late Afternoon Slate O’ Games Open Thread

NYG @ TB: JPP’s Back! will not be talked about nearly as much as his missing digits. If he can do something/anything to help it would be much appreciated by the league leader in yards allowed. Couple that with being last in the league in sacks and you’ve got a functional alcoholic examining his options. Thanks Steve Spagnuolo. LB Kwon Alexander won his second Defensive Rookie of the Week award under trying circumstances. His nickname is Genghis Kwon. Tampa came out with a win in OT against the Falcons last week despite blowing a 17 point lead. I expect the Giants to blow that sort of lead this week.

Atl @ SF: How do the Falcons come away with a win here? I think it all comes down to “don’t f*ck up”. They’ve given the ball away 12 times in the last four games-that’s got to stop. Things must be bad when as an organization you turn to QB Gabbert to solve your problems. Weird stat: In his last 4 games Kaep did not, repeat, not turn the ball over-no Int’s or fumbles. 30 yr. old RB Thomas joins this rapidly sinking ship. He hasn’t seen any action since being set adrift by the Saints last March. His legs should be fresh and ready to go though, right?

Den @ Ind: If I was a schedule-maker back in the spring I would have paired these two up in a heartbeat. Now it doesn’t look all that great. Peyton has been up and down all year long. His game-day QBR’s have ranged from 25.2 (2 weeks ago vs. Cleveland) to 93.6 (last week vs. Green Bay) Luck is 7th in QBR in the fourth quarter of games and dead last for the first three. I doubt he’ll put things together against the Denver D. Retread Rob Chudzinski who has been with The U (blarf!), Cleveland, the Chargers, Cleveland again, the Chargers again, Carolina, Cleveland again and now the Colts will set things right for the O. You just watch.

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Doktor Zymm

Non Cardinals Buzzsaw reference? FOUL!

Old School Zero

Who thought it was a good idea to put Tomsula in all that brown?!

Covalent Blonde

Can’t see the Philly cheese-steak stains

Sill Bimmons

BY HODOR’S BEARD

King Hippo

Why we can’t have nice things, simply explained:

1) The Donks can’t beat the Clots.
2) The Clots can’t beat the P*ts.
3) fin.

entropy

God dammi the Jets are like fucking Tinkerbell, if you believe, they can win. THEY CAN BEAT NEW ENGLAND.

I’m gonna go have another shot before I commit this to long term memory.

fleshwound_NPG

Prepare yourselves to get really, really jelly yet again in February, you guys.

Senor Weaselo

As long as they’re not also 19-0, because then I think we riot.

fleshwound_NPG

The rest of their schedule is about .400, easiest of the undefeated teams left.

They are going to get it, this time.

Bortleback

Eli, you’re our only hope…….

entropy

They play the only team to give them an actual contest again, at least once, this season. Yes, I mean the Jets, and no, I’m not so drunk I won’t recall saying that soon.

I hope.

Doktor Zymm

Baby horses? Baby horses.

THE STUDENT OVERTAKES THE MASTER.

By which I mean the baby horse is ahead of the adult horse.

Talk to ya in a bit, when I rapidly get bored with the bar I walk to.

King Hippo

ah, it was a good run, my beloved horsey team. a damned good run.

ThursdaySkyGoddess

Competent Clots?

Covalent Blonde

There were times when this was not rare… long, long ago

Spur
Sill Bimmons

AH GAD JUST FUCKING SHUT IT PHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL

Spanky Datass
entropy

I have deaf family members, and damn if every now and again I don’t think of them like this.

Spur

I am going to get rich by inventing a Phil Simms mute button.

His Right Honorable Lord Lordship the Lordly

“Phil Simms Mute Button” is what I named the .50 Cal round I just chambered in my sniper rifle.

makeitsnowondem

whiff gralen

Doktor Zymm

I went with the red. This is it btw :comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

What a lovely pelvic symphysis you have my dear.

Romonobyl

I’m a little concerned about that spot by the third rib.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

So is your mom a doctor and your dad a Social Distortion album?

entropy

Damn, that was clever.

Sill Bimmons

All right, Trevor.

You’ve teased the boys on the computer long enough.

Homework time!

Doktor Zymm

Geez mah, no fro yo?

Sill Bimmons

After you’re done.

John Difool

Would like to play house? House the t.v. show I mean, I could use that dress as one of my x-rays and then diagnose you.

Doktor Zymm

It’s never lupus.

entropy

Except for that one time. When it was.

entropy

OH WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK I AM TOO DRUNK FOR THIS SHIT

Doktor Zymm

Goodluck being awake for the night game.

entropy

As I’ve said before, I’m very good at what I do (and, at the point where chemical additives are no longer necessary).

I have Eagles Fan family. They must be mocked. So I will be awake.

Doktor Zymm

Godspeed.

King Hippo

I don’t like this Denver turning all back to poop.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Their pacing themselves. Lulling the baby ponies in a false sense of security.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Wow…did I just type “their” for “they’re”. Holy shit….am way too sober.

entropy

Heh. I’d have done that without noticing right now.

John Difool

What you get when you combine Manningbot with Andrew Luck

http://www.r3vlimited.com/gallery/files/2/2/1/4/0/amish_robot.jpg

I imagined PeyPey with a neckbeard, my imagination harms me intensely.

Spur

Ugh, is there any rapper more obnoxious than Macklemore?

Sill Bimmons

Replace “rapper” with “human.”

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

I know, he cries when climaxes! So sensitive!

makeitsnowondem

Um, what the hell is this, Denver?

Romonobyl

I must admit I sometimes miss the asshole Pats fans we used to have. Do you think they’re still trying to log on at that “other” place?

John Difool

NOONE DENIES THIS

entropy

So drunk and laughing at this right now

The Maestro

As a (supposedly rational) Pats fan, I do not. I quite like not having the discussion dragged down around here by 20+ IQ points.

At least, without alcohol, that is.

entropy

One of my best friends is a Pats fan, and I find him intelligent, compassionate, and generally a lot of fun to be around. And then every week or so he reminds me he roots for New England and I have to threaten him.

But if anyone ELSE does it….

Spur

Afternoon people! Missed all the morning games :(. Fuck the Packers!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Salutations homos and shemos. It appears I haz arroved in time to experience most the the Hippo’s bitching live, rather than having to read it later. That calls for a drink!!!
http://www.back9network.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/Chevy_Drink_Caddyshack3.gif

theeWeeBabySeamus

I wouldn’t call what we did any sort of destruction, considering the level of competition. But on the other hand, dropping an exhibition would be sooooo NC State.

If Cat Barber goes down, we iz in trubble.

Covalent Blonde

I literally had to look up this player to know who in televised sports could have the pseudonym “Pussy Shaver”

theeWeeBabySeamus

Power Kitteh

entropy

You should probably drink A LOT, in order to understand where I am right now, and thus experience what I am currently calling “humor” much more easily.

ThursdaySkyGoddess

Still more missed FGs.

Covalent Blonde

Good to know I’ll be having EagleCam POV nightmares for the next week.

Doktor Zymm

Going red. It’s less office friendly and I’ve stretched what I can wear to the office to the limit. These late game scores confuse and infuriate me. Despite my fandom, I do want the Giants to win the NFC East…so…go Giants? I guess? WTF baby horses?

entropy

That was Skeleton, yes?

Sill Bimmons

Manning and Luck leading the league in picks halfway through the season.

You could have gotten some pretty good odds on that.

Romonobyl
Senor Weaselo

Kilts, the official garment of the Commentist Party!

theeWeeBabySeamus

That’s making me dizzy.

entropy

Shit Weaveworld was REAL

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Honey, you haven’t lived until you have seen Matthew Perry put on a pair of tightie-whiteys at the Ottawa Country Club!

fleshwound_NPG

PeyPey with 69 yards passing now, nice

fleshwound_NPG

CUE THE MANNINGFACE

Senor Weaselo

You’d think he’d know better by now.

entropy

Fucking kids. Doesn’t he know how to hunt by now?!

JustStopDude

comment image

entropy

That. Is. So. Cool.

(I draw fucked up shit as a hobby, leave me be)

Doktor Zymm

I’ve put on leggings. I’m going out. Which t-shirt dress, skeleton, or creepy face?

King Hippo

creepy face

entropy

The Oxford comma was not your friend there. But I say skeleton, because I enjoy such things.

Doktor Zymm

Further information, skeleton is red, creepy face is black. Otherwise, they’re the same cut and size.

entropy

Further info not required, still rock the skeleton.

entropy

Well, wait. Hair color *is* a factor (I’m an artist, I *know things*).

Romonobyl

Your only options?

Doktor Zymm

No, but I’m drunk and these are both comfortable and people tell me they’re pretty hot.

Romonobyl

Go with your heart.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Sexy Dave Foley.. you have one of those right?

Doktor Zymm

Like…Kids in the Hall Dave Foley?

entropy

I am going to draw SOMETHING at the end of this night, and when I wake up tomorrow, I’m gonna post it so you can all see what alcohol does to fine motor control.

Doktor Zymm

*insert drunken supportive statement here*

entropy

See, this is where a sober person would say “you do not need support, you need control.”

Where is MY Lucy Lui Sober COMPAnion… that is too many caps… anyway?!

King Hippo

Hilarious how loud the Giants fans are in teh pirate ship.

Senor Weaselo

I was going to say “They had a really fast turnaround at MetLife. A whole several minutes!”

entropy

Florida sports fans suck. Florida has a lot of other shit to do, so they don’t go to sporting events (fuck ME that was hard to type), so you get fans of “teams that travel well” in the stands at every home game. Just move THOSE teams. No one will care.

Bortleback

Matty Ice vs. Blaine Gabbert for the title of “greyest man in football”

entropy

“Who are ‘People you will not notice in a crowd’ for $800, Alex?”

Senor Weaselo

I see a terrible sitcom starring them and Joe Flacco in the works on CBS. It’ll be the biggest hit ever.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Oh, you said greyest… I got a little offended I wasn’t mentioned there for a second!

Smithchez

Denver, what are you doing? The Colts suck.

JustStopDude

Someone please explain to me why Fox is showing a re-play of a Formula E race from Malaysia…

entropy

Wrong Fox channel?

Col. Duke LaCross

It was a pretty good race though.

John Difool

Pretty awesome until I realized they weren’t combustion powered and I can probably bike faster than some of those cars.

Col. Duke LaCross

They’re like a really fast golf cart. It’s not F1, but for something different, the races are usually pretty exciting.

fleshwound_NPG

HAS to be the latest the Fat Humps have had the roof open.

Oh shit Jeem and Phil in close proximity to PeyPey

Bortleback

These early games just won’t end

ThursdaySkyGoddess

Yes they go on and on my friend.

Sill Bimmons

hey guys

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Well at least the Bears game went well! They have a 10 game winning streak against the Twinks.

entropy

I have 14 Mich Ultras left… sending one along ASAP.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Pretty sure if you keep going at this pace you will be out by halftime.

entropy

I’m very good at what I do. And soon I will reheat pizza, because even I know a machine *this* fucked needs fuel.

entropy

Although, by halftime of ONE of these games (I just had to type “games” three times, each time it came out “ganes”), one of the TVs will become YouTube channel and things could get weird from there.

entropy

Silly goose, the computer is not a series of tubes…. tha’s the *internet*

Old School Zero

THE FLOW RETURNS!

Old School Zero

Er… is that weird? Especially when I yell it?

And, uh… sorry about the carpet.

entropy

It’s as if a million nerds cried out and were suddenly silenced…

entropy

People need to get over here. Switching back and forth between threads is having a lot of Unintended Shot Consequences.

Senor Weaselo

You mean like having more of them than you thought?

entropy

Just faster than I thought. Yay more people!

Ah shit I’m back in this thread… one second.

entropy

Wow, so the “No Defense” Giants are here today.

entropy

Not this year.

entropy

Wooo! Jets win and I still have 18 beers left!

entropy

Thread change shots kept me from replying faster, but so far, this is an entertaining experiment. I’m not gonna fuckin repeat it, but it IS interesting.

Bloody Lethal

Ok so I’m thinking…

Indy +3
Cowboys +3
And Falcons -8

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

A tall black man give Buddy the finger outside Raymond James Stadium, it turns out it was Mr. Pierre-Paul giving me a high five.

And by high five, I mean a prostate massage.

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