Your Sarcasm-Heavy “So Many Games To Watch!” 4 O’Clock Slate Open Thread

Two frickin’ games? Two? For the whole goddamn country? Why not throw the Minny/Atlanta game into this slot? What about Fins/Jets? But noooooooooooo. Two games! I’m SMGDH over here!

Ari @ SF: One of the biggest questions surrounding this game is “Why?”. Another question is, “Can the Cards top the 47 points they hung on the San Fran back in week three?”. This looks like a good game for RB Johnson to get back on track. Them Niners gave up a 200+ spot to Seattle’s Rawls just last week. There’s yakking going on about this being a trap game for the Cards what with the Rams next up. Huh? Palmer is running on all 12 cylinders and I just can’t see it. The big news in Niner-land is that Gabbert will be wearing an alternate black uni while he gets sacked numerous times/limps to the sideline/chases after the DB that got the intercept/demands a trade at half-time/posts a low-teen QBR rating.

Pit/Sea: Ben is back and so are the chances of the Steelers grabbing a wild card berth. They do have to steal this game plus one other vs. the Bengals or Broncs. They should beat the Browns, Colts and Ravens. It seems that if the D is right then so are the ‘Hawks. In their last 3 wins they gave up an average of just over 8 points a game. Their last two losses had them surrendering an average of 33 but in fairness that was against the Cards and Panthers.

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Sill Bimmons

TIME TO TAKE THE A TRAIN DAHNTAHN

King Hippo

YEAR OF THE OFFENSIVE LATE HIT

Old School Zero

We playing NFL Blitz again?

Lothar of the Hill People

It’s snowing in Denver, right?

Here’s to hoping Dreamboat slips and falls and breaks something he uses inside Gisele.

Redshirt

How is Tom Brady going to break his mailman’s penis?

JustStopDude

Anybody seen the kids? They were just outside….

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John Difool

MEANWHILE IN RUSSIA

Sill Bimmons

Uh…better not look down…

Old School Zero

Here’s to San Diego’s last win of the season!

Sharkbait

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laserguru

Mean Machine!

Gratliff

Year of the Kicker is nowhere near as fun as Year of the Safety.

Sill Bimmons

Really?

I’m going with quantity over quality on this one.

ThursdaySkyGoddess

HA

fleshwound_NPG

HARF HERPED, HAUSCHKA DERPED!

blaxabbath

“It might cost us the game, but we’re gonna keep on running it!””-Bruce Arians

Beastmode Ate My Baby

The fuck?

STOOPID KICKERS

Sill Bimmons

hahahauschka

King Hippo

well, at least they picked the right ones if only giving us two late games

Redshirt

Holy Crap Part II: Electric Buggalo

JustStopDude
King Hippo

Theoretically, that looks faster than what Meth Damon tried in Fargo, Season Two.

Sill Bimmons

Fuck fuckety fuck fuck fuck.

Redshirt

This is a twist. Big Ben is being forced to do something he don’t want to do.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

HOLY.

CRAP.

ThursdaySkyGoddess

Stupid Harf.

fleshwound_NPG

FAT MAN INT

Sill Bimmons

Mother pus bucket.

WCS

FATMANHARFCEPTION

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Fat Man INT

The best kind of INT

King Hippo

no choco taco , smh

Lothar of the Hill People

I am so good at commenting, I’m replying to comments 2 pages old.

Sheesh. And I haven’t had a drop today.

JustStopDude

Phil is like that guy…when your girlfriend or wife drags you to a party…and you don’t know anyone. Phil is the one in the corner that sizes you up. You realize he is the only person you will be talking to all night…but within five minutes you figured out he is a complete annoying shithead. But every time you try to get away he corners you.

Then you find out that he is porking the old lady’s best friend or some shit…so she thinks it would be great if you and Phil would hang out more often…so like you can do diner dates with them…and you see this all happening in front of you but there isn’t anything you can do about it until you just start yelling the N-word at a bunch of honkies in the middle of suburbia.

Then the ride home the old lady is complaining that she can’t take you out and that you are an embarrassment.

Fucking Phil happens to me like once a goddamn year.

Sill Bimmons

I miss Satirical Colbert.

Sill Bimmons

fuuu

blaxabbath

Sneaky cheap shots? When 49ers players imitate their fans.

JustStopDude

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Redshirt

Natural Selection in action.

King Hippo

10:1 he’s a guy who rails about getting government out of his Medicare, too.

John Difool

MEANWHILE IN TENNESSEE

Spanky Datass

Passersby were amazed …

Sill Bimmons

NAOW POST THE GIF

Lothar of the Hill People

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Lothar of the Hill People

He’s wearing Bad Idea Jeans

Sill Bimmons

DA FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Sill Bimmons

I used to get Egg McMuffins in the morning and then save them for later in the day so I could eat them in public and freak people out.

fleshwound_NPG

Well, to Dreamboat’s credit, this year marks the 25th anniversary…

https://twitter.com/davelozo/status/671107187654135809

Sill Bimmons

oh god listening to pheel i

King Hippo

Sill may be dead, guys

Redshirt

Hit the mute button, Sill! Listen the radio broadcast. It will be 10 seconds off, but its better quality dialogue.

Sill Bimmons

I’m OK. It’s not like you all aren’t suffering through it too.

WCS

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fleshwound_NPG

MOAR HARFCANNON

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

PK would never stop fellating Alejandro Villanueva if he was white.

Redshirt
Gratliff

B. Roethlisberger (PHI)….DON’T YOU THREATEN ME, REDZONE

blaxabbath

Arizona needs to collect some targeting penalties here.

blaxabbath

How is Concussion “The movie they don’t want you to see” when it’s advertised on NFL games?

King Hippo

Reverse psychology. There is NO FUCKING WAY anything starring Will Smith is even mildly edgy or threatening to the establishment.

Redshirt

NFLN: Watch the Cardinals-49ers game on FOX!

(checked the Channel Guide. Fox is showing “Trucks! – How-to-projects, truck events and enthusiast’s lifestyle.”)

The NFL Network just lied to me.

JustStopDude

I got the “Pressure Cooker” infomercial going on fox where I live.

I kind of love it how the networks basically admit they got fuck all to compete with football. You would think they would just show like puppies or strippers….something.

blaxabbath

Sounds like they let that kid from Detroit write the script.

blaxabbath

Cardinals inside the 15 are like me trying to chip up from the fringe. Bad.

King Hippo

You can’t stop The Flow, you can only hope to contain him.

JustStopDude

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Gratliff

What’s the problem?

JustStopDude

I hit puberty about 15 years before this technology existed.

Actually…that may be a good thing because I can’t imagine ever leaving a room like this as a teenager…except…can’t they dispense weed through the internet now?

Redshirt

Other than the fact that its designed for either a dwarf or something with a double-jointed waist?

Gratliff

Where the fuck did they get Eli Man Penguin Boy?

John Difool
Redshirt

That’s right. The Panthers are 11-0.

How the hell’d that happen?

blaxabbath

They only have one loss.

Also, their schedule is a joke. Seriously. I’m pretty sure they have a home-and-home against the Washington Generals.