Your Late Afternoon Games Open Thread

Den @ SD: QB Osweiler has won his first two starts (tries to beat pundits to the punch) thanks to the extraordinary coaching he’s getting from The Peyton. The Chargers beat the Jags last week to halt a six game skid. Now they’re up against Denver and it’s time to embrace another L. Perhaps the Bolts fan site that I visited should take a cue from a Niners site-start examining the teams that are jockeying for the #1 pick in the 2016 draft and see which player they should covet.

KC @ Oak: The Chiefs are nothing if not inconsistently consistent. A five game losing streak has been followed by a five game win streak. During the W run QB Spaghetti Arm has the highest QBR rating. (103) Take that, all you rifle-armed bastards! Of course he’s only thrown 6 TD’s in that time but you can’t have everything, can you? There’s good news for Oakland-the Chiefs leading sack-meister has been ruled out and Berry, Halia and Bailey are all beaten up. The Raiders squeaked by the lousy Titans last week. This young (Woodson is excluded of course) team is still learning all about that whole “consistency” thing.

Car @ NO: As far as up-and-coming stars are concerned you could do worse than dialing in on CB Josh Norman battling with WR Cooks. As for the Panthers WR’s they can’t wait to be matched up on Saints CB Browner, PFF’s worst-ranked at his position. Under HC Payton the Saints have never been a 7 point dog at home. That speaks well of the job he has done and the perceived advantage that NO has at home.

Phi @ NE: RB Murray gets the start because Matthews is out. [peruses a number of Eagles-related sites] There’s not a lot to like about Philly right now. The D has collapsed and the O is stuck in neutral. It would seem as though HC Kelly has lost the team and is playing out the string. The Gronk is out so TE Chandler becomes a nice play at that spot. Despite being banged up everywhere I doubt the Pats will have much trouble dispatching the Eagles.

 

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JustStopDude

“grumble grumble THROAT PUNCH grumble”

John Difool

THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU

Romonobyl

grumblegrumblehowoldisyourmom/grandmothergrumblegrumble.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

“How the fuck did Cosby do this again…?”

blackroseMD1

“No, no…Tom’s balls are deflated, not mine.”

The Maestro

“grumblegrumble call me the second you turn 48 grumblegrumble”

Spanky Datass

grumblegrumble you know I have “Muff Punt” in my playbook, right? grumble

Grumblesplaning

John Difool

+10

Doktor Zymm

This isn’t just a scene from the Godfather?

John Difool

Shooting the gap would make an excellent toothpaste commercial with Michael Strahan.

JustStopDude

Sean Peyton was grown in a lab, starting off as creole sausage and Mardi Gras beads, and he manged to rebuild New Orleans and win a Superbowl.

Its a little known fact…

laserguru

Troof!

laserguru

Carnitas are simmering to completion. Gonna fry up a handful of those slow cooked pork bits and also put the rest in the over to get them crispy.
A little refried bean, a few tortillas and some salsa?
Shit yes.

Romonobyl

I assume an appropriate refreshment will accompany this entree?

laserguru

Oh my yes.

Refreshments have been going since noon PST.

I’m going to be one refreshed motherfucker when this day is over.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Every time I go to Chipotle, I get Carnitas with a side of e.coli.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

One more Amanda Tapping. I was trying for a gif but I couldn’t get it to translate to a link so you get a slightly less sexier thing.

comment image

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

It’s quite a feat: the Cleveland Browns have had more quarterbacks than men I have fucked since 1999.

Bunch of skanks!

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Look Montreal’s gays don’t give it up when the Habs aren’t winning Stanley Cups.

1993 I left more DNA around the city than Pierre Trudeau

John Difool

THIS CAM NEWTON I CALL HIM HURRICANE KATRINA ‘CAUSE NOONE FORECASTED HIM TO COME UP THE LEFT QUADRANT

litre_cola

Anyone else think that automatic 3 pts for the Jets was kind of weird. Play until tie no?

fleshwound_NPG

Osweiler was just now described as being “longer”.

SUP LADIES

King Hippo

His feet are really big, yo

Doktor Zymm

Meh, let me know when they describe him as “girthier”

King Hippo

The naked bootleg is ALWAYS open.

Doktor Zymm

Green Peppers go all bitter when baked on a pizza.

Romonobyl

Green peppers are the epitome of evil.

laserguru

I agree. I only use them as part of the holy trinity when I’m cooking creole and they are also pretty damn needed in an Italian gravy.
Otherwise I don’t have a lot of use for them.

Sill Bimmons

Chili.

laserguru

I sub in some fire roasted poblanos instead of green peppers.
Also helps to fire roast your jalapenos.

Romonobyl

Roasting makes all peppers better, brings out a little sweetness to offset the heat. Poblanos are fantastic.

Romonobyl

Cam is getting shafted!

/it’s ok, I know the way out.

Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

You stupid Eagles.

laserguru

This entire day has felt like I’m at a wake.

And I’m not even catholic.

Doktor Zymm

Whenever Cortland Finnegan does a thing I hum “Finnegan’s Wake” to myself. But that’s not really the same thing at all.

John Difool

On Sunday’s, everyone is Irish.

laserguru

/breaks out the Bushmill’s

Sill Bimmons

I’ve never been to a wake and only two funerals that I remember.

Being from a small family has its benefits.

Sill Bimmons

jesus that was terrible

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I am still not caring about this game I am watching. Have an Amanda Tapping pic

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Gratliff

Tapping, Fapping, same difference

Spanky Datass

“Tapping her? I barely know her!”

Sill Bimmons

I’D TAPPING THAT AMIRITE UP TOP

Gratliff

Patriots – Gronk = Dolphins, apparently

laserguru

Looks like the heavy drinking is going to start earlier than normal this week.

Howdy everyone.

John Difool

Will Smith in.. I Am Men In Black Legend Independence Concussion Day…… featuring his son Jaden Smith as “The Concussion”

WCS

At least the Panthers will be the best 11-2 team in the league.

His Right Honorable Lord Lordship the Lordly

Can anyone explain to me whole x-1 for the Panthers?

JustStopDude

4-1chan

Bortleback

The Patriots are obviously just distracted by having the female ref on their sideline. It’s the only excuse I can see for them not being up by at least 5 touchdowns at this point

Doktor Zymm

SHE ISN’T PREGNANT OR COOKING? I AM CONFUSED!

fleshwound_NPG
blackroseMD1

CBS playing Stone Temple Pilots during the Chargers/Donks game is appropriate, because this game so far makes me want to do heroin.

RIP Weiland

Sill Bimmons

Do you think they even know he’s dead?

blackroseMD1

Doubt it. I think they were just playing “Vaseline” to try to get the Broncos to use some.

fleshwound_NPG

Fuck all dis, gon reheat some by god beef stew

litre_cola

I just don’t know what to think anymore about the Iggles. For years the Kool Aid man gave us hope through Owens, McNabb. Hell I even soldiered on during the Ray Rhodes era, we had a couple of Detmers, and something called a Doug Pederson. What Genius Chip has done makes me shake my head and want to throw my tv off the deck. This will take many years to revamp this shit.

Gratliff

Eagles fans as a whole deserved this for their jubilation at the exits of McNabb and Reid like that wasn’t the absolute best time to be an Eagles fan since 1960.

litre_cola

It so was. I didn’t mind McNabb leaving, but Reid was still good. Chip has been figured out which makes his moves very counter productive.

Sill Bimmons
Doktor Zymm

I’m not an Eagles fan, but as long as y’all never win a Super Bowl I wish you all the best. I’m enjoying the Chip Kelly flame out, but I would be enjoying it no matter what team it happened to. May a mediocre coach be in your future. If you want Chubs Gruden, I’ll be happy to write a letter that no one will listen to.

litre_cola

Only if it is strongly worded.

Doktor Zymm

Of course!

ThursdaySkyGoddess

Damn Panthers.

Gratliff

Hollllllllllllllllllllly shit, Panthers

blaxabbath

I’m just listening to Cardinals Talk and messing around in the kitchen.

Fans are ridiculous. Fans who actually take the time to call in to a post-game show, wait on hold, and then express their views on the air are straight up fucking insane.

Long time, first time

Gratliff

Sam Bradford, ladies and gentlemen.

Doktor Zymm

“Where?”
-Sam Bradford

Gratliff

That’s what he gets for trying to look in the mirror directly instead of at the doctor prescribed 45 degree angle

Sill Bimmons

Nobody on the field in Foxborough looks like they want to be there.

fleshwound_NPG

something something when do pitchers and catchers report

WCS

Would you?

Sill Bimmons

comment image

Doktor Zymm

Oh, Pizza delivery dude was wearing a Packers shirt. If the whole establishment supports the Packers it explains why they’re very pro-sausage.

Sill Bimmons

Now I have to have a sausage pizza.

Bortleback

Did he offer you extra sausage?

Shogun Marcus

We support all meats. And cheeses. And cakes. And pies. Food, I guess I’m saying we like all the food. And drink.

King Hippo

Man, I’m so glad I started the Iggles defense today!

– Nobody in entire world

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I went Aubrey Plaza by reflex. Have a Krysten Ritter instead.

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y108/jkendrix/ritter-bra.gif

King Hippo

Is she in to creepy, introverted middle-aged men? PLEAZ SAY YES!!!!!

ThursdaySkyGoddess

Phillip Rivers picks up Matt Schaub’s gauntlet.

litre_cola

Phillip taking over Matt Schaub territory this year.

fleshwound_NPG

YA BETTA PICK SIX SOMEBODAAAAY

Gratliff

So does Rivers get any fantasy points for offing himself on the field?

King Hippo

TravathanDOWN WOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sill Bimmons

LASERPICKSIX

King Hippo

Zee late games have been somewhat lacking.

King Hippo

disregard my bitching

Gratliff

Offensive juggernauts colliding in New England

ThursdaySkyGoddess

MOAR MISSED FIELD GOALS!

Sill Bimmons

Lot of missed FGs today.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Redshirt
John Difool

Fist of the Milfstar

fleshwound_NPG

He was allegedly cheating even then…and STILL could not make the Browns not Browns any less.

ThursdaySkyGoddess

That actually looks worse than his normal hobo attire.

blackroseMD1

Tom Brady and Cam Newton both have negative points for me right now. I need booze.

fleshwound_NPG

grumblegrumblegrumble going to unnecessarily rough you tonight grumblegrumblegrumble

https://twitter.com/Dan_Shaughnessy/status/673618823577210880

Do you happen to be a mother?

Spanky Datass

Great pull!

I feel odd seeing a well executed Raiders play.

Sill Bimmons

At least he made the tackle.