Den @ SD: QB Osweiler has won his first two starts (tries to beat pundits to the punch) thanks to the extraordinary coaching he’s getting from The Peyton. The Chargers beat the Jags last week to halt a six game skid. Now they’re up against Denver and it’s time to embrace another L. Perhaps the Bolts fan site that I visited should take a cue from a Niners site-start examining the teams that are jockeying for the #1 pick in the 2016 draft and see which player they should covet.
KC @ Oak: The Chiefs are nothing if not inconsistently consistent. A five game losing streak has been followed by a five game win streak. During the W run QB Spaghetti Arm has the highest QBR rating. (103) Take that, all you rifle-armed bastards! Of course he’s only thrown 6 TD’s in that time but you can’t have everything, can you? There’s good news for Oakland-the Chiefs leading sack-meister has been ruled out and Berry, Halia and Bailey are all beaten up. The Raiders squeaked by the lousy Titans last week. This young (Woodson is excluded of course) team is still learning all about that whole “consistency” thing.
Car @ NO: As far as up-and-coming stars are concerned you could do worse than dialing in on CB Josh Norman battling with WR Cooks. As for the Panthers WR’s they can’t wait to be matched up on Saints CB Browner, PFF’s worst-ranked at his position. Under HC Payton the Saints have never been a 7 point dog at home. That speaks well of the job he has done and the perceived advantage that NO has at home.
Phi @ NE: RB Murray gets the start because Matthews is out. [peruses a number of Eagles-related sites] There’s not a lot to like about Philly right now. The D has collapsed and the O is stuck in neutral. It would seem as though HC Kelly has lost the team and is playing out the string. The Gronk is out so TE Chandler becomes a nice play at that spot. Despite being banged up everywhere I doubt the Pats will have much trouble dispatching the Eagles.
Via Deadspin
This needs a good caption…
http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s–V6b0sJIU–/c_scale,fl_progressive,q_80,w_800/tbo4m94rcf3cfugodjq6.jpg
“grumble grumble THROAT PUNCH grumble”
THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU
grumblegrumblehowoldisyourmom/grandmothergrumblegrumble.
“How the fuck did Cosby do this again…?”
“No, no…Tom’s balls are deflated, not mine.”
“grumblegrumble call me the second you turn 48 grumblegrumble”
grumblegrumble you know I have “Muff Punt” in my playbook, right? grumble
Grumblesplaning
+10
This isn’t just a scene from the Godfather?
Shooting the gap would make an excellent toothpaste commercial with Michael Strahan.
Sean Peyton was grown in a lab, starting off as creole sausage and Mardi Gras beads, and he manged to rebuild New Orleans and win a Superbowl.
Its a little known fact…
Troof!
Carnitas are simmering to completion. Gonna fry up a handful of those slow cooked pork bits and also put the rest in the over to get them crispy.
A little refried bean, a few tortillas and some salsa?
Shit yes.
I assume an appropriate refreshment will accompany this entree?
Oh my yes.
Refreshments have been going since noon PST.
I’m going to be one refreshed motherfucker when this day is over.
Every time I go to Chipotle, I get Carnitas with a side of e.coli.
One more Amanda Tapping. I was trying for a gif but I couldn’t get it to translate to a link so you get a slightly less sexier thing.
I’ve got the late game intro covered. All is well.
It’s quite a feat: the Cleveland Browns have had more quarterbacks than men I have fucked since 1999.
Bunch of skanks!
You’d better up your game, buddy.
Look Montreal’s gays don’t give it up when the Habs aren’t winning Stanley Cups.
1993 I left more DNA around the city than Pierre Trudeau
THIS CAM NEWTON I CALL HIM HURRICANE KATRINA ‘CAUSE NOONE FORECASTED HIM TO COME UP THE LEFT QUADRANT
Anyone else think that automatic 3 pts for the Jets was kind of weird. Play until tie no?
Osweiler was just now described as being “longer”.
SUP LADIES
His feet are really big, yo
Meh, let me know when they describe him as “girthier”
The naked bootleg is ALWAYS open.
Green Peppers go all bitter when baked on a pizza.
Green peppers are the epitome of evil.
I agree. I only use them as part of the holy trinity when I’m cooking creole and they are also pretty damn needed in an Italian gravy.
Otherwise I don’t have a lot of use for them.
Chili.
I sub in some fire roasted poblanos instead of green peppers.
Also helps to fire roast your jalapenos.
Roasting makes all peppers better, brings out a little sweetness to offset the heat. Poblanos are fantastic.
Cam is getting shafted!
/it’s ok, I know the way out.
http://i.imgur.com/cGJAACQ.gif
You stupid Eagles.
http://33.media.tumblr.com/67ff911cf0743fc761ec513a240a1660/tumblr_nnxqntW0Dk1tnl1bio1_400.gif
This entire day has felt like I’m at a wake.
And I’m not even catholic.
Whenever Cortland Finnegan does a thing I hum “Finnegan’s Wake” to myself. But that’s not really the same thing at all.
On Sunday’s, everyone is Irish.
/breaks out the Bushmill’s
I’ve never been to a wake and only two funerals that I remember.
Being from a small family has its benefits.
jesus that was terrible
I am still not caring about this game I am watching. Have an Amanda Tapping pic
Tapping, Fapping, same difference
“Tapping her? I barely know her!”
I’D TAPPING THAT AMIRITE UP TOP
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v74/Nickasinsaltlick/erector2.jpg
Patriots – Gronk = Dolphins, apparently
Looks like the heavy drinking is going to start earlier than normal this week.
Howdy everyone.
Will Smith in.. I Am Men In Black Legend Independence Concussion Day…… featuring his son Jaden Smith as “The Concussion”
At least the Panthers will be the best 11-2 team in the league.
Can anyone explain to me whole x-1 for the Panthers?
4-1chan
The Patriots are obviously just distracted by having the female ref on their sideline. It’s the only excuse I can see for them not being up by at least 5 touchdowns at this point
SHE ISN’T PREGNANT OR COOKING? I AM CONFUSED!
Alright, that is even better
https://twitter.com/loljocks_grimey/status/673621910761185281
CBS playing Stone Temple Pilots during the Chargers/Donks game is appropriate, because this game so far makes me want to do heroin.
RIP Weiland
Do you think they even know he’s dead?
Doubt it. I think they were just playing “Vaseline” to try to get the Broncos to use some.
Fuck all dis, gon reheat some by god beef stew
I just don’t know what to think anymore about the Iggles. For years the Kool Aid man gave us hope through Owens, McNabb. Hell I even soldiered on during the Ray Rhodes era, we had a couple of Detmers, and something called a Doug Pederson. What Genius Chip has done makes me shake my head and want to throw my tv off the deck. This will take many years to revamp this shit.
Eagles fans as a whole deserved this for their jubilation at the exits of McNabb and Reid like that wasn’t the absolute best time to be an Eagles fan since 1960.
It so was. I didn’t mind McNabb leaving, but Reid was still good. Chip has been figured out which makes his moves very counter productive.
http://media.247sports.com/Uploads/Assets/463/968/2968463.jpg
I’m not an Eagles fan, but as long as y’all never win a Super Bowl I wish you all the best. I’m enjoying the Chip Kelly flame out, but I would be enjoying it no matter what team it happened to. May a mediocre coach be in your future. If you want Chubs Gruden, I’ll be happy to write a letter that no one will listen to.
Only if it is strongly worded.
Of course!
Damn Panthers.
Hollllllllllllllllllllly shit, Panthers
I’m just listening to Cardinals Talk and messing around in the kitchen.
Fans are ridiculous. Fans who actually take the time to call in to a post-game show, wait on hold, and then express their views on the air are straight up fucking insane.
Long time, first time
Sam Bradford, ladies and gentlemen.
“Where?”
-Sam Bradford
That’s what he gets for trying to look in the mirror directly instead of at the doctor prescribed 45 degree angle
Nobody on the field in Foxborough looks like they want to be there.
something something when do pitchers and catchers report
Would you?
Oh, Pizza delivery dude was wearing a Packers shirt. If the whole establishment supports the Packers it explains why they’re very pro-sausage.
Now I have to have a sausage pizza.
Did he offer you extra sausage?
We support all meats. And cheeses. And cakes. And pies. Food, I guess I’m saying we like all the food. And drink.
Man, I’m so glad I started the Iggles defense today!
– Nobody in entire world
I went Aubrey Plaza by reflex. Have a Krysten Ritter instead.
http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y108/jkendrix/ritter-bra.gif
Is she in to creepy, introverted middle-aged men? PLEAZ SAY YES!!!!!
Phillip Rivers picks up Matt Schaub’s gauntlet.
Phillip taking over Matt Schaub territory this year.
YA BETTA PICK SIX SOMEBODAAAAY
So does Rivers get any fantasy points for offing himself on the field?
TravathanDOWN WOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LASERPICKSIX
Zee late games have been somewhat lacking.
disregard my bitching
Offensive juggernauts colliding in New England
MOAR MISSED FIELD GOALS!
Lot of missed FGs today.
Aubrey Plaza again
http://static1.squarespace.com/static/55d581b8e4b06459b239d941/t/55d8c19ce4b022811c501fd1/1440268703273/
Just think of what could’ve been…
http://coolspotters.com/files/photos/90613/bill-belichick-and-cleveland-browns-gallery.jpg
Fist of the Milfstar
He was allegedly cheating even then…and STILL could not make the Browns not Browns any less.
That actually looks worse than his normal hobo attire.
Tom Brady and Cam Newton both have negative points for me right now. I need booze.
grumblegrumblegrumble going to unnecessarily rough you tonight grumblegrumblegrumble
https://twitter.com/Dan_Shaughnessy/status/673618823577210880
Do you happen to be a mother?
Great pull!
I feel odd seeing a well executed Raiders play.
At least he made the tackle.