Your Late Afternoon Games Open Thread

Den @ SD: QB Osweiler has won his first two starts (tries to beat pundits to the punch) thanks to the extraordinary coaching he’s getting from The Peyton. The Chargers beat the Jags last week to halt a six game skid. Now they’re up against Denver and it’s time to embrace another L. Perhaps the Bolts fan site that I visited should take a cue from a Niners site-start examining the teams that are jockeying for the #1 pick in the 2016 draft and see which player they should covet.

KC @ Oak: The Chiefs are nothing if not inconsistently consistent. A five game losing streak has been followed by a five game win streak. During the W run QB Spaghetti Arm has the highest QBR rating. (103) Take that, all you rifle-armed bastards! Of course he’s only thrown 6 TD’s in that time but you can’t have everything, can you? There’s good news for Oakland-the Chiefs leading sack-meister has been ruled out and Berry, Halia and Bailey are all beaten up. The Raiders squeaked by the lousy Titans last week. This young (Woodson is excluded of course) team is still learning all about that whole “consistency” thing.

Car @ NO: As far as up-and-coming stars are concerned you could do worse than dialing in on CB Josh Norman battling with WR Cooks. As for the Panthers WR’s they can’t wait to be matched up on Saints CB Browner, PFF’s worst-ranked at his position. Under HC Payton the Saints have never been a 7 point dog at home. That speaks well of the job he has done and the perceived advantage that NO has at home.

Phi @ NE: RB Murray gets the start because Matthews is out. [peruses a number of Eagles-related sites] There’s not a lot to like about Philly right now. The D has collapsed and the O is stuck in neutral. It would seem as though HC Kelly has lost the team and is playing out the string. The Gronk is out so TE Chandler becomes a nice play at that spot. Despite being banged up everywhere I doubt the Pats will have much trouble dispatching the Eagles.

 

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MikeMartzColorsDontRun

Philly just dickstomping all over the Pats and it’s not even available in my broadcast package. ARGH I’m too young to be betrayed by my package goddamnit

King Hippo

I would gladly trade my fantasy fuckery for this Pats Schadefreude

Spanky Datass

Brady scream and pout time on the sidelines … commence!

Redshirt
fleshwound_NPG

BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA DREAMBOATCEPTION TWO: YOU ARE GOING TO MAKE CHIP KELLY LOOK SMART BUGALOO!

The Maestro

please kill me

Sill Bimmons

Funny.

It’s almost as if Tom Brady is only as good as the guys he’s throwing to.

Bortleback

I’m sure Gisele will have a rant about how he’s forced to throw to Eagles DBs because the Pats aren’t giving him any weapons

litre_cola

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA BRADY! DREAMY PICK

Delightful

ThursdaySkyGoddess

MOAR DREAMBOATCEPTION!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Gratliff

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FS:LKDJFA:LKSFJ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

King Hippo

Jeebus, Carr. Did you let your brother play for you today?

litre_cola

These afternoon games are wild

ThursdaySkyGoddess

CARRCEPTION!

Gratliff

Derek Carr regressing in a single quarter

Sill Bimmons

oh jesus fuck carr

Romonobyl

I’d hate to be the male nurse having to give the Gronk a sponge bath about now.

The Maestro

football is a fucking terrible sport

fleshwound_NPG

SPEAD

comment image

Brocky

Lol eagles defense, available in 53% of leagues

King Hippo

And started in 0.00000001%

Gratliff

Eagles’ defense is really spending too much time on the field today!

Bortleback

Chip Kelly has finally used his offensive genius brain to realise that his best chance of winning is to keep his shitty offence on the bench.

Sill Bimmons

ALL THE PLACEKICKING HERP

theeWeeBabySeamus

Eagles up 2 TD on the Pats.

The Philadelphia Eagles are???? /Cleveland voice

fleshwound_NPG

Is this actually going to happen…

King Hippo

EXTRA POINTS FOR NOBODY

Gratliff

/sings the Eagles fight song with nobody else

litre_cola

Oh I am here with you my friend.

Spur

Holy shit. The Eagles’ special teams are shitting on the Patriots.

ThursdaySkyGoddess

TINYDARRENDOWWWWWWWWWWWNNN!!!!!!!!!!

King Hippo

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

litre_cola

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSss

Gratliff

TINY DARREN OH MY FUCKING GOD

Sill Bimmons

TINYDOWN

The Maestro

FUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

RAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

KILL EVERYTHING

KILL KILL KILL

Sill Bimmons

haha

Old School Zero

haha

Moonbatting Average

“KILL KILL KILL”

Romo is that you?

laserguru

woot!

John Difool

BUNCHES OF FUNCHESS

laserguru

If there is a more delicious food item than slow cooked pork I have yet to find it.

That was goddamn delicious.

Carnitas 4 lyfe!

Romonobyl

As long as there’s no cilantro. I can’t stand that weed.

laserguru

No cilantro. Just onion, garlic, orange and jalapeno along with the usual assortment of spices. Slow cook the pig in a beer and chicken stock bath and then finish to get crispy.

Fucking magical.

Old School Zero

Anything low and slow with pork shoulder is meat magic.

Redshirt

Yes. YES! YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

Redshirt

comment image?w=400

ThursdaySkyGoddess

CAMDOWN!

And that is why Dreamboat doesn’t scramble

theeWeeBabySeamus

So, after Schaub’s derp-6 resulted in a 14 pt Miami lead in just over 20 seconds, I decided to go play 9 holes rather than watch anymore.
I played like shit.
But I also didn’t have to watch the Ravens’ obligatory “get it within a field goal BUT NO DAMN CLOSER” routine.

Good day.

Gratliff

4 sacks on dreamboat so far.

Romonobyl

That’s usually the equivalent of 32 flags.

Sill Bimmons

Wow, Jake Delhomme and Jerry Richardson really seem to like one another…

litre_cola

It was a tinder date.

King Hippo

Yeah, pretty sure Jerry was gonna lean in for a kiss, just deciding how much tongue to use.

Brocky

Cajun qb sighting!

Gratliff

Well shit, Maclin.

The Maestro

I LEAVE TO GO START DINNER AND THIS BULLSHIT HAPPENS?

FUCK THE EAGLES IN THEIR BATTERY-ACID-INFUSED TAINTS FOREVER

litre_cola

Oh Maestro, you just know the right things to say.

litre_cola

The less of the Iggles game I see on Redzone the happier I am. I sure as shit know Bradford isn’t marching them,

Spur
Sill Bimmons

Cam back in game.

Horse Balls sighting DENIED

King Hippo

Horse Balls alert, cancelled.

ThursdaySkyGoddess

I missed a Dreamboat ception? And it was a pick-six? Why did I have to be hungry NOOOWWWWWWWWWWW???

Spur
ThursdaySkyGoddess

I LOVE YOU!!

Suck it Brady!

Gratliff

A 100 YARD DREAMPICKSIX

Sill Bimmons
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