![[DOOR FLIES OPEN]](https://doorfliesopen.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/DFO-MC-Patch.png)
SD @ Oak: Did you know that this is the last game that Charles Woodson will ever play in Oakland? Aside from winning the Heisman in college there was little to no indication that he would be a dominant NFL player. Did you know that fellow Heisman winner/Michigan alum Dez Howard retired way back in 2002? Did you know that interception-wise the guy is ahead of fellas like Ed Reed, Ronnie Lott, Mel Blount, Darrell Green, Deion Sanders and Champ Bailey? Now that you’ve been informed, can I stop typing sentences that end in a question mark? As far as the Raiders future is concerned defence-wise there’s this ridiculously talented guy by the name of league sack leader Khalil Mack. Shall we watch him hit the Jesus out of a certain prolific baby-maker?
Your Thursday Night West Coasty NFL Open Thread
Eddie Redmayne and Alicia Vekander are the most British looking people in the world. I mean that in an offensive way, even though I have an unhealthy crush on British people of both genders
http://cdn1.sciencefiction.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Karen-Gillan-Esquire-2.jpg
I got an international stream. They show the same preview every commercial break
Aside from the Stone IPAs, this was the best part of the night for me.
Karen Gillan could have my right arm if she asked for it.
Wait…
http://45.media.tumblr.com/c43f6b3024f1f6ffbf68f7dc42213b31/tumblr_na4lklouJF1rao8peo1_500.gif
Is this game STILL on?!?
TD
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Phil Simms is worse than the rest of them put together and raised to the power of infinity.
Nothing against the Bolts but I picked the Convicts:
http://bossip.files.wordpress.com/2013/06/kanye-west-shrug.jpg
That’s why you don’t throw the ball to the damn Fullback, Phil. Christ…
I would gut Phil Simms like a salmon.
“I dreamed I was a Super-Nova fucker
Nitro-burnin’ and fuel-injected”
WHITE ZOMBIE SPEAKS TO ME MAN
BLEERGH And The Jeebus: A Common Approach
I turned this game on in the second half. I don’t think I have seen a first down
Hey guys. I promised myself I wouldn’t drink unless the Raiders had the lead. Really regretting that.
Pretty sure you did that backward:
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
These refs can go suck Rex’s ass.
ON THIS HOLIEST OF NIGHTS WE WORSHIP THE ONE TRUE GOD BLEERGH
Oh, is today when BLEERGH’s son was born?
I’m still working on the theogyny, but no: Bleergh, Son of Bleergh, Imperator of the Timeless Land, is eternal- He is and has always Been. Before sloppy football was, Bleergh waited for it. The ultimate trade awaiting its ultimate practitioner.
Now, this was the day that Alvis, patron saint of Raider Nation and the holiest man ever to slap iron, was born. He is a Profit in the DFO Pantheon ™
According to google this is an Anna Torv pic. I enjoy it so I won’t disagree. TD
Wasn’t a catch. I take back obviously not Anna Torv
If it wasn’t for Jim Nance I would have no friends at all.
Not true. I love all of you imaginary and non-imaginary friends. And I’ve got a bunch of family here.
Beers and wine and shots and smoke and Happy Halloween!!!!!!!!
Io Dies Natalis Solis Invicti!
You stupid Raiders.
Haven’t watched the game. Wrapped presents for my wife, and am now watching horrorpunk videos on Youtube.
I dare any of you to tell me I made the wrong choice.
Kate Upton because this game is only commercial breaks
http://i.perezhilton.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/giphyz.gif
I meant this one on the 70th break of the half*
http://pthumbnails.5min.com/10358539/517926923_3_embedStandard.jpg
BOLTMAN IS DEDICATED TO MAKING AMENDS TO THE SURVIVORS OF HIS VICTIMS. FURTHERMORE BOLTMAN WILL GO TO REGULAR MEETINGS AND TRY TO TAKE ALL HIS MEDICINE SO THAT THE KILLINGS DO NOT FOLLOW BOLTMAN WHEN HE MOVES TO LA.
Xmas pic
“BOO BOOP DEE DOOP, SEX!”
Is it baseball season yet?
/ducks
Dat was a sexy safety!!!
Oh hey, something hapzzzzzzzzz.
EPOCH OF THE SAFETY
Gather round kids, Horatio has a Christmas story of joy for all of you.
As you may know, and since you all seem to be a bunch of worthless drunks, just like me, there’s a Vermont beer called Heady Topper that is supposed to be the SHIT. It’s hard as hell to get; they have a limited production capacity and they deliver on a strict schedule to a limited area and the beer sells out pretty much as quickly as they put it off the truck. Myself I suspect at least part of that reason is for marketing; if something’s impossible to get it becomes that much more desirable and/or legendary.
I was in Vermont this summer and couldn’t find it. I hit a couple of stores only to find I was a day or two off. Then I said “fuck it”, bought two six-packs of Ballast Point and went on my way.
But I was still frustrated. Heady Topper had become my white whale. Only a land whale, not some psychotic fucker like that one that took out the whaleship Essex and made the surviving crew members eat each other.
So Xmas Eve is at my house every year and my Dad and brother and brother-in-law and like to gather around and drink, mostly because we’re all related to my sister, and the discussion turns to what beers we like. Heady Topper comes up and is discussed and I expressed my desire to some day consume some.
Unknown to me my son knows that the father of his, (now ex; it’s a sad story), girlfriend has Vermont connections and in fact those connections are so good that he has 8, count them 8, Heady Toppers in a refrigerator 10 minutes from my house.
Dinner with the extended family ends, people leave, son says he’s got to go to the grocery store and disappears. It turns out that he texted the father, (who still wishes his daughter was going out with him), and tells him the story of me and Heady Topper and has dibs on one. Again, he’s 17. He drives over, gives the guy $5, (which is about $20 less than he could’ve gotten in CT), puts the beer in his trunk, (because he’s underage), drives home and now what has two thumbs and is going to have his first Heady Topper on Xmas?
THIS GUY!
God bless us every one.
(I’m gonna drive over to that guy’s house tonight and steal the other 7)
“BOLTMAN DEMANDS TO KNOW WHERE EVERYONE IS AT!!! DOES BOLTMAN NEED TO KILL THIS ROOM OF HOSTAGES TO GET SOME COMMENTS ON THIS THREAD?!? DOESN’T MATTER AS BOLTMAN MUST QUENCH HIS BLOOD LUST!!!!”
Ten minutes to showtime.
@patrickehland
She has–and needs–my full support.
2/10, denim chafes, would not bang.
Why does it look like Phil and Jeeeem have mirror-image comb-overs?
Remember when Sports Illustrated swimsuit issues were a thing people cared about
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view2/1752972/kathy-ireland-o.gif
Kathy Irelands swimsuit photos were when I stopped caring about Dungeons & Dragons and started chasing girls.
I was a lot better at D&D
Good to see the University of Cincinnati channeling their inner pro counterparts in a post-season game.
Worse Xmas eve viewing: TNF or The Phantom Menace?
That’s like choosing between a kick to the face or a kick to the nuts.
Kick in the face please
The correct answer is “Godfather III”.
http://assets.sbnation.com/assets/425185/53346439.jpg
Child abuse…right?
For the evil voodoo to try to create an Al Davis baby, yes. To force an unborn baby into a fandom, nah, that is fine.
a zombie Al Davis*
/ rewrites
// Yes I know Zombie Al Davis is redundant
Die Hard is a Christmas movie: yes or no
(Spoiler: YES)
Da
It is my absolute favorite Christmas movie. So yes again.
That question doesn’t justify a response.
Ja.
This Bearcats head coach Tommy Tuberville, I call him Admiral Husband Kimmel because his men are so completely unprepared for this attack that he should be relieved of command.
Too soon?
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