Your Happy Scrappy 4PM Slate Open Thread

TB @ Car: And lo! What have we here? Another game that means nada. Looking at the Panthers over the last couple of games you can see some Parcells-approved chinks in their armour. The loss to Atl, the squeaker vs. the Giants and t’udder close call against the Saints indicate that Carolina is somewhat vulnerable. Or more likely, they just need to re-focus. And what better team to do that against than the “lost last 4 of 5” Tampa Bucs?

Oak @ KC: I’m just not feeling this one. KC’s rolling and the Raiders, despite showing great promise for the next few years, are circling the drain. Maybe these guys can channel their inner ’90’s tendency to knock the stuffing out of each other and we end up with a watchable game.

SD @ Den: Can not wait to see S Weddle play today! Wait. What? He was placed on IR? He was fined 10K for watching his daughter perform at half-time? He showed up the team’s medical staff by running sprints in front of reporters? When will this San Diego-appropriate madness end!?!?!? This is most likely the last time you’ll see WR Floyd and TE Gates so drink that all in. Rivers will probably end up forcing the ball into both of them making it that much easier for 1.) the Denver D to win this game on its own and 2.) Chargers management to say goodbye to HC McCoy on Monday.

Sea @ Den: This should be a good one. Over the last six games these two squadrons are 1 and 2 in yards gained per game. The difference could be that during that same time the Cards are +11 in turnover margin. PFF’s number one FS, Arizona’s Mathieu ran into the worst three letters in the alphabet that an active football player could-ACL. CTE being the worst three that a retired player could run into. But really, they wouldn’t be the Cards if they didn’t have a significant player go down with a season-ender, would they?

StL @ SF: BRRRRR! Do you feel a draft? So do these guys.

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Recovery Whiskey

And the final NFL RedZone touchdownkakke of yhe year.

Doktor Zymm

Next weekend : WILDCARD WEEKEND

There is not enough booze in the world.

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-aGEH5Hzm28Q/U7W7jxGMgvI/AAAAAAAAabk/fMfKb3E7HOY/s1600/bravo.jpg

nomonkeyfun

Good luck, but we all assume the slurs will lose.

Let’s go Jints.

blackroseMD1

Well, the Chargers lost, but I won $200 by winning my fantasy league, so I’m calling today a draw.

Time to go to the bar and collect (and probably spend) my money.

rockingdog

how many total touchdowns?
69!

Horatio Cornblower

Nice.

rockingdog

“Kind of like winning a bowl game.” -Chris Hanson said after the niners beat the rams…
So true…

rockingdog

i mean scott hanson

ThePirateSloth
Horatio Cornblower

No Chris, I just opened a wine cooler.

Chris: It’s the same thing.

ThursdaySkyGoddess

I’ll miss you so much RedZone!

http://replygif.net/i/127.gif

...

If you have Netflix, he plays a delightful evil psychopath in Jessica Jones.

ThePirateSloth

I am about to watch that this week, I heard he was excellent too.

nomonkeyfun

What accent does he use?

...

His natural one. He’s a supremely evil Dr. Who.

American Pie Story

I literally just finished watching it. He’s a scary fucker in that show. And if you guys weren’t already in love with Krysten Ritter, well, then…

King Hippo

The Flow ’bout to drop the mic

Old School Zero

Tomsula’s going to ride out of SF the same way he rode in: on the rail.

rockingdog

I wonder what his train-hobo nickname is…

...

His severance will be delivered in a handkerchief tied to a stick.

...

Holy shit, Manning’s forehead is so huge.

I think it’s pulsing. It’s…

…yes. I will do your bidding Forehead.

Redshirt

We’ve lost Rod.

hippofant

It is the way of things. Small foreheads shall bow to large foreheads.

Romonobyl

I’m surprised there’s not a Buick emblem and Papa Johns bumper stickers on it.

Spanky Datass

Nay
Shun
Wide
Will
Steal
Your
Mind

fleshwound_NPG

I swear the forehead is getting bigger

Old School Zero

HGH

Old School Zero

FGH

fleshwound_NPG

Manning plays well with extra rest, like he did today and will again in the Divisional Round. And throw 4 INTs during the AFC Title Game.

evilbeaver8

69 yds passing for Manning….

fleshwound_NPG

nice

makeitsnowondem

nice

Redshirt

On the bright side, its not Tom Brady the media is blowing for once.

WCS

Just Peyton. How original!

ThePirateSloth

HAHAHAHAHA holy fuck the Rams FG was blocked

...

Tie? Please tie.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Rams rammed. If they leave, it will be a fitting end to the Stan Kroenke era for this city.

Moonbatting Average

**WHEW**

makeitsnowondem

oh god oh god oh god i’m okay i’m okay

King Hippo

we all unpucker

Old School Zero

Not with a bang, but a near floatception caused by an o-line breakdown and third and fourth string WRs.

Appropriate.

Horatio Cornblower

WHAT? HUH? BANG? FUCK YOU! THE ONLY ‘BANG’ I END WITH IS IN THE RESPECTFUL MISSIONARY EMBRACE OF MY WIFE AND THEN ONLY FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROCREATION, AS PROSCRIBED BY THE LORD!

Redshirt

Come on Peyton. You know you want to audible to a pass.

rockingdog

Denver broncos fumble?

nomonkeyfun

Let’s go Gints. Oh, they lost again. Fire Coughlin.

WhyEaglesWhy

“Lost”

WhyEaglesWhy

Is this when Peyton Manning breaks his back on the kneeldown?

ThursdaySkyGoddess
ThePirateSloth

Did anyone else see the Gomer Pyle-esque glare Peyton just had there?

Bloody Lethal

comment image

fleshwound_NPG
blackroseMD1

Welp…

Redshirt

One play to Steeler Week III: The Search for Victory

...

I’ve resorted to freezing water in ice cube trays. I should have ice by the time I’m sober.

ThePirateSloth

Use very hot water, it freezes faster.

Doktor Zymm

You have nothing like whisky rocks? Ice packs that you can shake your booze with? Is your freezer just empty? Think man!

...

Oh, I already used the whiskey stones I have. I’m set.

But I’m preparing for the next time around by having ice.

Doktor Zymm

You do realize you can use half the whiskey stones at a time, and cycle them back into the freezer? They cool faster than water freezes. Like, they cool in the time it takes to drink a drink.

nomonkeyfun

Also really good are the freezable soap stone shot glasses.

...

Yes. I have two sets.

Doktor Zymm

You have 12 whiskey stones and you were complaining about being out of ice?

Bortleback

Stones aren’t as good at cooling as actual ice. Latent heat and all that.

Doktor Zymm

But still. It’s a far cry from being totally out of cooling items.

nomonkeyfun

Thank you for the reminder I had a Mexicam coke in the freezer. And now I have a shot glass there.

Doktor Zymm

I bet you could make a thing with dry beans in a small plastic ziploc bag.

evilbeaver8

In our little nothing backwater, all the local restaurants (not that many of them in town to begin with) are closed New Years Day. I went to Subway for the first time in ages as a result. Wanted a meatball sub. They were fu**ing out of meatballs. F*ck Subway forever. Also, this was the greatest injustice in the history of mankind.

...

Back when I worked in the glorious TV industry, the only options for food near my place of work were Subway and Pizza Hut. I had many a dinner from the Subway, which was fortunately open late enough to accommodate me.

blordinaryfagicmox

“Every body watches these hurdle highlights over and over and wants to imitate them even though they put you in a vulnerable position”
-said as the replay of the hurdle plays 5 times in a row.

litre_cola

ESPN and their JACk’d up segment agrees.

Redshirt

Brock’s career is Aaron Rodgers’ if Brett Favre refused to retire.

Redshirt

“They got to stop all these jumping by runners.”

Yes, just let the defender take out your knees.

blackroseMD1

Did that 60 Minutes commercial just tell every old person that the Mafia has tampered with their food?

King Hippo

you ain’t seen nuttin’

WCS

I hope so.

fleshwound_NPG

oh fuck

WCS

Okay, Acura, stop using my name for douchy characters in your inane commercials.

Romonobyl

Subway…EAT FRESH!!!

…or not.

litre_cola

“How fresh?”

-Jared

makeitsnowondem

never care about football never care about football never care about football never care about football never care about football never care about football

evilbeaver8

Why does the two-minute warning exist?

Moonbatting Average

Commercials? Commercials!

Old School Zero

ad revenue

litre_cola

BROUGHT TO YOU BY DRAFTKINGS

Redshirt

Back when time was kept on the field, it was done so the teams would know when the end of the half is near.

Now its for an extra commercial break.

Bortleback

In the past, because the game clock was a watch on the wrist of one of the refs. Now, it’s to show ads.

ThePirateSloth

Forget what everyone else said. It’s because football players don’t know how to count.

Bortleback

They just forget the numbers after a few head-owies

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