Your “This Game’s Gonna Be Great!…Hopefully” Wild Card Tilt Open Thread

GB @ Was: The weather in Washington, UK is 41 degrees but it feels like 34. However I don’t think that it’s going to be an issue for this game. It’s been quite some time since the Slurs hosted a playoff game. This’ll give you an idea:

-Bread was only .25 but you had to slice it yourself.

-Women holding mics on the sidelines were called ‘assistants to someone that matters’ or ‘wanton hussies’.

-The NFL called concussions ‘a figment of everyone’s fevered imaginations’.

-Dan Snyder was in grade school, mixing Lysol and tap water together, labeling it as ‘lemonade’ and selling it for a buck a glass to his classmates.

-speaking of school, Tom Coughlin was walking uphill thru 4 feet of snow to a one-room schoolhouse.

-bananas hadn’t been invented in a Monsanto hothouse yet.

Those were the days, huh? Contrary to what every Packers backer thinks/the expectation of the casual NFL fan/common sense/all that is good and right in the world, Wash has an enormous advantage at the QB spot. Over the last 10 games Rodgers has a 57% completion rate and a 16TD/6INT ratio. Over that same span Cousins’ passes have found their mark 72 percent of the time and his TD/INT ratio is a “am I reading this right?” 23-3! But wait! The Slurs didn’t win a single game against a team that was over .500. Also, of Cousins 11 picks, 7 came against the blitz. There is a team playing today that blitzed the 5th-most this year. I’ll give you a second or two to figure out which one it is. Hint-for this game only the Pack D has named themselves “The Cousins Fuckers”. Now that you’ve got every single relevant bit of data related to this game, well, start with the typing!

 

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evilbeaver8

Didn’t Green Bay used to not suck?

...

I already like this game a lot.

Sill Bimmons

wtf packers

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

“Thank you, that was rough, just how I like it”

nomonkeyfun

You got your wish Dok

John Difool

Our good Doctor Zymm is a wizard

Sharkbait

S-S-S-S A-A-A-A-F-F-F-F-T-T-T-T-E-E-E-E-Y-Y-Y-

Dunstan

The safety gods are pleased.

Brocky

yay

Brocky

yay

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Please let this game end 2-0

ThursdaySkyGoddess

SAFETY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WCS

EPOCH OF THE SAFETY

...

TIME TO DANCE

Sill Bimmons

THESE WASHINGTONS I CALL THEM TYNACORP BECAUSE THEIR TOWELS ARE FALLING APART ON NATIONAL TV

Gratliff

This game needs more yellow pants.

Doktor Zymm

DAMN SO CLOSE

...

Mike McCarthy calling plays? Excellent.

Brocky

Snyder skimped on the cost of towels…

I would say “just when you think he couldn’t”, but’s its snyder..

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Weirdest Tampon ad ever, Jordan Reed.

Doktor Zymm

I WANT TO DO THE SAFETY DANCE. FUCK UP GB, FUCK UP.

John Difool

Almost

Kungjitsu

Merry Christmas!!!

entropy

I am now watching videos of my dead best friend playing songs at a bar 30 miles away. I may have miscalculated.

Doktor Zymm

Pull back! Less maudlin!

entropy

It was in the rotation. I’m OK. He was great people.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

So, neither team is gonna play offense in this game too.

Sharkbait

They’re certainly offending me.

/Ill see myself out

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

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JustStopDude
theeWeeBabySeamus

Pearl necklace.
/giggity

laserguru

That sound you just heard was me tearing up my 100 dollar ticket on the Vikings to win the Super Bowl at 51-1 odds.

I may have to do a shot and it’s not even 2:00.

ballsofsteelandfury

I’m shocked you haven’t already.

entropy

What the fuck? Drink, man, DRINK

Doktor Zymm

Go forth and consume the booze.

laserguru

That was a shot of Maker’s Mark 46.

I can’t take any responsibility from here on out.

Doktor Zymm

LET’S ROCK
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entropy

I want Bender to be my spirit animal.

Doktor Zymm

I need to buy some silver pants so it’s more convincing when I tell people to bite my shiny metal ass.

Recovery Whiskey

Everybody look at your hands

Recovery Whiskey

Montana doesn’t need to hang out with those losers

ThursdaySkyGoddess

Well he used to shill for Sketchers, so he must be hard up for cash.

Gratliff

Are they doing the full-on tyrant Superman angle for this or are they just fighting for lolz this go around?

Wakezilla

Me guess: PTSD Batman is terrified of Superman because of the power he possesses. Lex knows who both Clark Kent and Bruce Wayne’s identity is, so he plays each both guys off each other.

So Batman goes and fight Superman for shits and giggles until the real threat, Doomsday shows up and they team up to take him out. Even though Superman kicks Doomsdays ass 99 times out of 100.

Gratliff

May have to continue my streak of not watching new Superman movies then.

Wakezilla

Keep in mind, I’ve only seen the first trailer. So I could be way off.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I got an Alison Brie request so I will comply. Can’t remember if this is a repeat. I know I saw it yesterday I think it just stayed as an open tab though.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Damn right!!!

John Difool

YOU RIKE THAT !

Wakezilla

So, who is more likely going to Houston next year: RGME or Colin MEpernick

Romonobyl

Why? They already have Watt!

litre_cola

Who is this WATT fellow, the media never really talks about him.

-Detroit Bettis

Doktor Zymm

I want RG3 to succeed like crazy wherever he goes, and I don’t hate Houston, so I would be okay with that.

The Maestro

We’ve established that Aaron Rodgers is almost certainly a power bottom already, yeah??

Recovery Whiskey

Over/under on destroyed ACL today

The Maestro

I really, really, really want it to be just Kirk’s, just to put this team back at square 1 yet again.

WCS

You mean, a Wounded Knee?

entropy

NO NO NO NO

litre_cola

This was comment of the day for me thus far.

Glorious Chairman Dan

Kirk will tear his because God hates us

Romonobyl

And the officials have been making a lot of “errors”. Hmmmm…

John Difool

“My Ninja!”
-Pete Carroll

Doktor Zymm

I guess Rodgers isn’t into bears. Look at him run from the big dude.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

That’s not what he told me and Bruce LaBruce last night!

Redshirt

BREAKING NEWS: Former Referee thinks Referees did a good job.

JustStopDude
Badger

Let’s fucking do this Pack

Romonobyl

True story bro:
Years ago I overheard two coworkers, one white and one black, debating the [*Redacted] s re-naming controversy, which had just become an issue. The black guy thought it was silly and people were making too big a deal about it. The other guy countered by asking what if the Houston Oilers, when they moved to Tennessee, called themselves the Nashville Negroes instead of the Titans. Got pretty chippy after that.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

And Negro isn’t really a slur, is it?

Doktor Zymm

*sigh*

entropy

Surprising things I learned when living among the Hopi and Navajo: blacks and Indians do NOT get along.

MikeWallaceAndGromit

Ok Commentists, I’m checking out mostly for this game. Go…./sigh Packers. They’re gonna lose.

The Maestro

JustStopDude

comment image&op=noop

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show
fleshwound_NPG

Giada slight nip slip, you’re welcome…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g7FI6_3ZU_8

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

According to Google. This is Gillian Jacobs (sorry, I love posting pics that have no reason to be in a search. Page one has 5-7 Alison Bries too)

http://a4.files.saymedia-content.com/image/upload/c_fit,h_1200,w_1200/MTMxOTYwNTcxODI1MzAyMTQ3.jpg

theeWeeBabySeamus

Not that I’m complaining about his mis-hit….but plz post the Alison Brie’s as well. OK? Thank you.

Gratliff

Of course Fox breaks the trend and forces me to watch local commercials on their online feed.

...

Hi, God. It’s me, the Rod.

… Okay, nobody calls me that, but hear me out.

You already let the Steelers win and while I have no particular disdain for the Yinzer people, their team winning every year is boring and I’m sick of you letting them win every year. Yet you’ve imposed great suffering upon the fanbases of Minnesota and Cinncinati already. What gives?

I propose a new plan. Please, please, let the Packers lose. I’m fucking sick of their fans and the frozen tundra narrative and their phony stock and most of all I’m sick of the same goddamn teams winning each year. Let the Slurs fans have their moment. You can totally fuck them over next week.

Thanks.

Wakezilla

And on that note, I’d like to say I hate Frank Miller

entropy

I’ve met him; he is a pompous asshole who wrote ONE good story and coasted on it forever.

Wakezilla

Pretty much. I especially hate how his sadistic version of Batman is what most people think of when they think about the character.

entropy

And that wasn’t even his good story. His Daredevil? Awesome. Dark Knight? Fuck you, prick.

Col. Duke LaCross

Yeah, he’s completely lost whatever freaking marbles he ever had.