As many of you know, I am the founder and proprietor of this particular dick joke and football blog. I am also a man without a country, NFL fandom-wise. Not all of you know, but I’m a born-and-bred St. Louisian, so today’s news hits me HARD. I’ve now had two teams leave me. The team of my youth, the Cardinals, left because we wouldn’t build them a stadium. The team that brought a Super Bowl and the most entertaining football I have ever watched, the Rams, is leaving because…um…an asshole with 7.7 billion dollars needs to be richer.
My city has bent over backwards to appease a poorly mustached dillweed in a fixed match where he was going to get his way regardless of what we did. So, the Rams are leaving. The only city that tried to keep their team loses it, while Oakland gets extra money that was denied to St. Louis, even though they have no plan for a stadium, and play in a stadium built in the 60’s. This means that I’m unshackled. I will never watch the Rams as a fan again, only as my least-favorite team. I know I solicited requests for a new team, but let’s have a little bit of fun with it. Here is every team I will consider. Not making the cut? Rams [DUH] Cardinals [ALSO ABANDONED ME] and Patriots [JUST NO]. The St. Louis Rams are dead, long live…
Who gets your vote?
- Kodos (90%, 19 Votes)
- Kang (10%, 2 Votes)
Total Voters: 21
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Root for the Bengals with me. Name one team that is so talented that it can both win and lose the same playoff game.
Also being a St. Louis Rams fan, you are conditioned for disappointment. The transition will be easy.
As a new fan, you can be excused from the usual Cincinnati chili requirement if you and your colon wish, but only if you increase your intake of local ice cream, ribs and beer, which is available upon request.
Comrade, accept the light of Glorious Chairman Dan Snyder into your life. The Supreme Helmsman will lead this Red(skins) army to victory after victory against the capitalist roader pigdogs of Dallas, Philadelphia, and part of New York.
The anti-name reactionaries may bleat in the millionaire press, but under the light of the Chairman we Reds will find knowledge and peace.
Heh heh, Enos.
‘cuz it rhymes with “penis”.