Latest posts by Beastmode Ate My Baby (see all)
- Prisoners On The Pleasure Planet! Chapter Sixteen – May 25, 2018
- Prisoners On The Pleasure Planet! Chapter Fifteen – May 25, 2018
- Hard Ride To Nowhere: The End, No Really I Mean It This Time, Seriously, Guys, This Is It – May 18, 2018
The scene: Las Vegas! Covalent Blonde is out on the Strip with Redshirt, Yeah Right and Pirate Sloth.
Covalent Blonde: OK, we have to find those guys. Redshirt, you and Pirate Sloth hit the casinos on the south side, and Yeah Right and I will head north.
Pirate Sloth: Arr.
Covalent Blonde: Remember, we have to find them before [CENSORED BY THE NFL] 50 kicks off.
Yeah Right: Do you really think those guys are going to bet on [CENSORED BY THE NFL] 50?
Covalent Blonde: Why else would they be here in Vegas on [CENSORED BY THE NFL] 50 weekend? With Moose’s knowledge of things to come, it’s a sure thing…but Doktor Zymm is really going to be pissed if they end up changing the future somehow.
Pirate Sloth: Right ye be! Have no fear, we shall sally forth and find our missing mates.
The group splits up, with Yeah Right and Covalent Blonde going one way, and Redshirt and Pirate Sloth the other.
Redshirt: This’ll take forever unless we split up. I’m gonna check out this casino, you go on ahead and I’ll catch up.
Pirate Sloth: Arr.
Pirate Sloth heads down the Strip, only to spot a pirate ship in front of a hotel.
Pirate Sloth (making a beeline for the ship): By my beard! ‘Tis a thing o’ beauty, a hearty ship indeed!
Bikini Girl #1 (spotting Pirate Sloth): O! M! G! Like, you’re a pirate, aren’t you?
Pirate Sloth: Arr! Indeed I am, me lovely!
Bikini Girl #1 (to Bikini Girl #2): You have to take a picture of us!
Pirate Sloth (posing with Bikini Girl #1): Arr! ‘Tis good to be a pirate!
Bikini Girl #2: Me next!
A crowd of tourists and spectators build up around Pirate Sloth.
Pirate Sloth (forgetting just why he’s in Las Vegas to begin with): Arr!
Cut to: Yeah Right, making his way through a crowded casino.
Yeah Right: Jeez, this place is packed! Hey, excuse me, mind if I slip by?
A yuuuuuuge guy in a muscle tee glares down at Yeah Right.
Musclehead: You pushin’ me?
Yeah Right (gulping): No…? I was just trying to get past you to…
Musclehead (poking Yeah Right in the chest): I don’t like to be pushed.
Yeah Right: Ow..ow…OK, look, I’ll just go the other way, then…
Covalent Blonde appears behind Yeah Right, and grabs the musclehead’s finger.
Covalent Blonde (menacingly): Buddy, that’s my friend you’re picking on…
Cut to: Redshirt, who finds Old School Zero and Marc Trestmans Windowless Van in the casino lounge, watching a big-screen TV.
Redshirt: Hey, guys.
OSZ: Redhsirt! What are you doing here?
Redshirt: Covalent Blonde brought us here to look for you. She’s afraid that you’re going to bet on [CENSORED BY THE NFL] 50 and mess up the future.
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van: What? Like, no way, man! We’d never bet on [CENSORED BY THE NFL] 50! Football is, like, sacred, man!
OSZ: Besides, Moose doesn’t even want to talk about [CENSORED BY THE NFL] 50. We asked him if he wanted to watch it and he said…and I quote…”The horror…the horror…”
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van: So then Moose was all bummed out, so we were all, hey, cheer up, dude! And then I, like, remembered that the Super Underground Combat Kingdom was in Vegas, dude.
OSZ: And by “remembered” he means he was using one of their flyers to roll a joint.
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van: Totally! So we were, like, let’s blow off the [CENSORED BY THE NFL] this year and go to Vegas, man!
Redshirt: Super Underground Combat Kingdom… I’ve heard of that. It’s a big mixed-style fighting tournament, right?
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van: Totally! There’s, like, luchadores and boxers and wrestlers and ninjas…
OSZ: Moose brightened up when Marc mentioned it. He said it reminded him of the Oakland DMZ fighting pits.
Redshirt: That sounds…disturbing. Still, Covalent Blonde should be happy that you guys aren’t messing up the future…
Unnoticed by the trio, on the big-screen TV there’s a picture of the musclehead who was hassling Yeah Right, with the scrolling caption: “Underground fighter injured in Las Vegas melee…”
To be continued…