The scene: The In-N-Out convenience store near the DFO clubhouse. Horatio Cornblower is there, sitting on Moosemas Gorilla’s shoulder as the ape stocks up on bananas.

Horatio Cornblower: Okay, you have all the bananas. Can we get the beer now?

Moosemas Gorilla: Ook! Ook-ook.

Horatio Cornblower: Right! Can’t forget the Doritos. Man, I hope those guys aren’t ticked off at us for being a few weeks late with our munchie run.

Moosemas Gorilla: Ook.

Horatio Cornblower: I know, right? I mean, we did get a bit sidetracked…

Flashback to: Horatio and Moosemas Gorilla leaving the clubhouse. A man approaches them out of the shadows.

Mikhail Bight: Horatio Cornblower? I’m Mikhail Bight, and I need your help.

Quick cut: Moosemas Gorilla holding onto a rope ladder hanging down from a helicopter. Inside the helicopter Horatio is using his whole body to control the stick as the pilot slumps dead in his seat, bullet holes littering the glass.

Horatio Cornblower: Hang on!

Moosemas Gorilla: Oooooooook!

Quick cut: Moosemas Gorilla steering a speeding Ferrari with one paw, and holding onto the beautiful damsel in distress who is swinging to and fro on the hood of the car with the other. A black BMW gives chase. Behind the wheel of the BMW a man in black leather and sunglasses pops open the glove compartment.

Leather Man: Now, you troublesome primate, it’s time to die!

Instead of a gun in the glove compartment, the man finds Horatio, leveraging up a can of pepper spray.

Horatio Cornblower (firing the pepper spray): Nice try, but you forgot…he has a partner!

Leather Man (getting sprayed): Aaaiiiiiieeee!!!

Quick cut: Moosemas Gorilla running across the top level of a parking garage, Horatio in his paw, avoiding the machinegun fire from a drone that’s giving chase. He leaps across a car and heads for the edge of the roof when a thunderous noise stops him in his tracks. As Moosemas Gorilla and Horatio watch in awe, a Harrier jet rises up. In the pilot’s seat is the former damsel in distress, who turns the jet towards them.

Damsel: I thought you boys might need a lift.

Moosemas Gorilla looks over his shoulder at the oncoming drone, then makes the slow-motion leap towards the jet.

Quick cut: Moosemas Gorilla hanging onto a Sherman tank as it veers wildly through downtown Los Angeles, crushing cars and scattering pedestrians. He reaches the turret hatch and tries to open it, but it’s locked. He bangs on the hatch in frustration.

Moosemas Gorilla: OOK!

Inside the tank the Leather Man is driving, while the Damsel is tied up and helpless.

Damsel: You’ll never get away with this!

Leather Man: Oh, won’t I? Who do you think is going to stop me?

Behind the tank but closing in quickly is Horatio Cornblower in a 1/12 scale Corvette, speeding around wreckage and between the feet of fleeing pedestrians. Beside him, in the passenger seat, is a one pound brick of C-4 plastic explosive.

Horatio Cornblower: Hold on, partner! That tank may be locked up tight, but I’ve got the key!

Quick cut: Moosemas Gorilla and Horatio Cornblower sitting in the sun next to a large pool, the ape on a huge beach towel and Horatio in a scaled-down lounge chair. A waitress approaches.

Waitress: Can I get you gentlemen anything?

Horatio Cornblower: A pitcher of banana daiquiris, please…and heavy on the bananas.

Moosemas Gorilla: Ook!

Cut to: The In-N-Out, present day.

Horatio Cornblower: That reminds me…I need to renew my driver’s license this year.

Moosemas Gorilla grabs an armful of Doritos as they head to the beer cooler.

Moosemas Gorilla (pointing with a bag of Doritos): Ook?

Horatio Cornblower: We’d better stick to domestic. I’m a little short.

Moosemas Gorilla huffs out a laugh and points at another cooler.

Horatio Cornblower: Not a chance! I am definitely not #UpForWhatever. Look, just grab a half-rack of Cerveza Chango.

Moosemas Gorilla grabs the beer and the pair head to the cash register. An attractive blonde is there, arguing with the clerk.

Future Clone Debbie Harry (angrily waving a package of batteries): This is all you have? No fission cells?

Pimply Clerk (gulping): No, ma’am!

Future Clone Debbie Harry: Isn’t this a convenience store? Does it seem convenient to you that you’re denying my demands?

Pimply Clerk (uncertain): No…?

Future Clone Debbie Harry: Where is your Overseer? I demand to see him, her or it at once!

As Future Clone Debbie Harry continues to berate the hapless clerk, Horatio’s tiny cell phone rings.

Horatio Cornblower (answering the phone): Hello? What? No, my daddy’s not here…who the hell is this?

Moosemas Gorilla: Ook?

Horatio Cornblower (into the phone): This is Horatio Cornblower. I just have a…condition. A temporary condition.

As Horatio talks, Moosemas Gorilla watches Future Clone Debbie Harry yell at the clerk.

Future Clone Debbie Harry (pulling a small futuristic gadget out of her pocket): Do you know what this is?

Pimply Clerk (gulping again): An iPod?

Future Clone Debbie Harry: I have no idea what that is.

Pimply Clerk: It plays music?

Future Clone Debbie Harry: Music? Like the Ramones, or Blondie?

Pimply Clerk: Um, sure? I don’t know who they are, but…

Future Clone Debbie Harry (glaring): I hate this century.

Future Clone Debbie Harry points the future gadget at the clerk and pushes a red button. The clerk instantly transforms into an iguana.

Future Clone Debbie Harry: This is a Totally Instant Transmogrifier. You’ve never seen one of these before, have you?

Iguana Clerk (sitting on the counter and flaring his dewlap): Thbpt.

Horatio Cornblower (on the phone and oblivious to the scene at the counter): Okay, got it. We’ll get there as soon as we can.

Moosemas Gorilla: Ook?

Horatio Cornblower: That was the Las Vegas P.D. Some of our crew got themselves into a little bit of trouble, so they need a lawyer.

Moosemas Gorilla: Ook-ook?

Horatio Cornblower: They let me talk to Yeah Right for a minute. He’s there with Covalent Blonde and a few others. Sounds like they went to Vegas looking for Moose.

Future Clone Debbie Harry (turning around): Excuse me…did you say Moose?

To be continued…