The Oscars are almost upon us, with all their unpredictability. You don’t need an oracle to tell you what will happen. You don’t even need a film critic. You need someone who sees into the very souls of the Academy voters. You need a Straight White Man.
The short film categories are some of my favorites every year, because they point me to things I’d otherwise never think to watch, and also because I can watch any one of them and formulate a hot take about it in less than an hour. Unfortunately, the short films are also where my quest to watch every Oscar-nominated movie hit a brick wall this year. The live action shorts were all released on streaming services, and so were three of the animated shorts. The other two animated shorts I managed to track down elsewhere. But the documentaries, well… I’d been counting on them getting an online release as well, and it didn’t happen. Two are on Netflix. There’s one theater in town showing the whole set, but I think I’m out of time to get there before awards night. Oh well. They’ll all be releasing on HBO starting in March, so maybe I’ll catch up then.
One of the things I love most about these films is the way they manage to tell their stories within a very tight space. In that spirit, I’m going to keep my own commentary as concise as possible.
ANIMATED SHORT FILM
Bear Story – When I sat down to watch the animated shorts, I was not expecting to get a thinly veiled allegory about the Pinochet regime right off the bat. Sad, beautifully animated with a charming clockwork motif, and apparently loosely based on the true story of the filmmaker’s grandfather, who was exiled from Chile for ten years.
Prologue – If the award goes to the film with the most impressive animation, Prologue will be your winner for its incredible hand-drawn scenes of brutal hand-to-hand combat. Not to spoil the action but for once, the one film in this category where someone’s anus is bleeding is not the one by Don Hertzfeldt. Prologue is also one of two reasons I’m declaring 2015 the Year of the Animated Dong, so those of you with kids, please exercise parental discretion.
Sanjay’s Super Team – A positively adorable story about an Indian father and son that will resonate with anyone raised in any sort of religious household, and this Pixar joint doubles as a superhero cartoon!
We Can’t Live Without Cosmos – A Russian cartoon with a more traditional cartoon animation style than the other entries and entirely without dialogue. Cosmos is a very touching short story of two inseparable best friends experiencing cosmonaut training, their mission, and its aftermath. Inside Out did the best job of any film this year of making grief and loneliness funny, but Cosmos isn’t a bad second.
World of Tomorrow – I know for certain we’ve got at least one Don Hertzfeldt fan here at DFO, and probably a lot more than that. Hertzfeldt was nominated for an Oscar in 2000 for the legendary Rejected. World of Tomorrow retains Rejected‘s minimalist character design, but it’s a much more visually dense and thematically philosophical film about a future where people’s consciousnesses are copied into new bodies after their deaths, and nostalgia has become the world’s most popular pastime, framed around a third-generation clone trying to explain that future to her four-year-old self/great-great-grandparent. It’s also really, really, really funny. The ending had me absolutely dying.
Will/Should Win: World of Tomorrow. As a story, it’s miles ahead of the rest, and its hyperactive visual style makes great use of color and shape to bring its surreal future world to life. Anything else would be a huge letdown.
Second Choice: We Can’t Live Without Cosmos.
Upset Special: Prologue. It’s a pretty thin film, but this wouldn’t be the first time the Academy has interpreted “Best Animated Short” as “Best-Animated Short.”
LIVE-ACTION SHORT FILM
Ave Maria – A great, inventive little comedy featuring a Jewish family who crash their car outside a Palestinian Christian convent on the Sabbath, in which the two groups must help each other navigate their various religious proscriptions in order to get the family safely home again.
Day One – This one follows a U.S. Army translator’s first day on the job in Afghanistan, and wastes no time throwing her into the deep end. A very compelling portrayal of the tension and chaos that I imagine must be at least some part of every military interaction with local residents. Day One is probably the most technically impressive of this group,
Alles Wird Gut (Everything Will Be Okay) – Two years ago, a French film titled Avant que de tout perdre (Just Before Losing Everything) was nominated in this category. At 29 minutes, it may be the tensest thriller I’ve ever seen, depicting a woman who’s enlisted the help of her co-workers to leave her abusive husband. The film never outright tells you what’s happening, instead letting you put together the pieces yourself. Alles Wird Gut works very similarly (over just 12 minutes, this time) and so I won’t spoil any of the plot points here, but I’m a big fan of this sort of storytelling-by-incremental-revelation. It’d probably be too exhausting over the course of a feature film, but it works in a a short.
Shok – Shok doesn’t draw attention to its climax, which happens in the literal background of a shot, and happens so quickly that you can blink and miss it completely. That’s fitting for a movie set in the middle of the widely ignored Kosovo War. Unfortunately a lot of other things about this movie didn’t work for me at all, like the frame story, the first half of which has its main character acting in ways that seem contrived for dramatic effect even after the movie provides the context.
Stutterer – A sweet but predictable—but still very sweet!—film about a man with a stuttering problem who’s agreed to meet his Internet girlfriend in person for the first time. Stutterer reminds me a bit of David O. Russell’s work in the way it uses a disorder as a starting point to look at experiences common to everyone.
Will Win: I think Day One has an advantage here because of the story behind the film; it was made by a veteran of the war in Afghanistan, based on real experiences with his Pashtun-American translator.
Should Win: Alles Wird Gut.
Upset Special: Ugh, Shok.
DOCUMENTARY SHORT SUBJECT
Body Team 12 – This short documentary, which I didn’t see, is about the work of a body removal team during the Liberian ebola epidemic. Olivia Wilde produced the film.
Chau, Beyond the Lines – Chau started out as the story of a young Vietnamese boy who wants to become an artist but suffers from severe Agent Orange-related birth defects, but developed into a sort of mini-Boyhood, following its subject through eight years of childhood and young adulthood as he pursues that dream. Equal parts horrifying and inspiring.
Claude Lanzmann: Spectres of Shoah – I also didn’t see this, a making-of film about the legendary Holocaust documentary Shoah, but there seems to be widespread agreement that it’s the most technically adept film in this category.
A Girl in the River: The Price of Forgiveness – This is the last of the three I didn’t get to see. It’s about “honor killings” of Pakistani women.
Last Day of Freedom – The only animated documentary in the group, Last Day is about the murder conviction and subsequent execution of a black veteran with PTSD, told through an extended interview with his brother. Visually, the film alternates between sketches of its interview subject and depictions of the events he’s describing. As someone who cares a lot about this subject and has worked with death row inmates, Last Day is both touching and maddening. I’m skeptical, though, that anyone who cares enough to watch this documentary will learn anything they didn’t already know.
Will Win: Claude Lanzmann: Spectres of Shoah. I’ve never seen Shoah itself either, but I know its reputation as one of the greatest documentaries ever. This one seems to be the consensus favorite to win, both for the sake of its subject and for the quality of its production. I don’t have any reason to doubt it.
I Liked: Chau, Beyond The LInes.
Upset Special: Last Day of Freedom‘s unique visual style might get it some extra attention. Either of the other two I haven’t seen could have a shot based on subject matter alone.
Back to the air drums thing: If you ever want a workout that will turn you into a sweaty mess of goo, try playing air drums on this song all the way through.
http://41.media.tumblr.com/1466d858c06a69c6bd1d0611a9793916/tumblr_ni2yz8FYM81qz6f9yo7_1280.jpg
Anita.
http://36.media.tumblr.com/b182a9997690a59a113c27670880d350/tumblr_ni17yuymEu1qz6f9yo8_r1_1280.jpg
I went to shameful places earlier. I never went to Audioslave though WBS
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7QU1nvuxaMA
Go to sit in Horatio’s locker and think about what you did.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nco_kh8xJDs
http://56.media.tumblr.com/80978ce9dba6438ccf671d322270c42c/tumblr_nmq3zpJejK1rzs2lno1_1280.jpg
That means I can eat as much as I want….right?
http://56.media.tumblr.com/afeb06947a72b97f1276775f203e4332/tumblr_o364dlC5hY1ric2iqo1_1280.jpg
I think we could all use a laugh. Let’s see what happens when Forrest McNeal reviews addiction:
http://41.media.tumblr.com/b18de0b7a80133119f96a10d6433bc6d/tumblr_nz7p7vkfH41slg0uvo1_400.jpg
The passage of time didn’t really occur to me until I was talking with two of my 8th graders after school today. They:
1) had no idea South Park made a movie (I showed them where to look).
2) they’ve never lived when the Simpson’s were anywhere near relevant
They also take archer over family guy (mostly unfunny, just for shock they said). The future may not be completely fucked.
http://41.media.tumblr.com/c89c3bda79ce09ae5c49a44133ead7ae/tumblr_o2mjhizQcX1slg0uvo1_500.jpg
Good God….how old (young) was she there.
/realizes that sounds kinda pedophilic
//wasn’t meant that way….probably
I’m watching World of Tomorrow again and I can’t believe how much there is to think about in this insane thing.
Home. Happy weekend it is.
http://gifrific.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/Jack-Donaghy-Pouring-Alcohol-Loop-30-Rock.gif
http://36.media.tumblr.com/12315e4e18cfa57eab5ef72e42a95241/tumblr_nw0ftlD6Ub1t63w4qo1_500.jpg
That gif encapsulates both my activity last night and the reason I am not imbibing this evening.
http://56.media.tumblr.com/027438b748b4265f537c10dc12d5fe5e/tumblr_nsvb99I2Vx1s47hb3o1_1280.jpg
http://41.media.tumblr.com/8ce8e96a3995c48b8da8e1130e19341d/tumblr_ntiaidcY0k1qbni3uo1_1280.jpg
I missed most of the Request Line this afternoon, so pardon me if I indulge myself. Been listening to a lot of the 90s alternative/punk/grunge for the past several days….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sC2GjXMk7i4
It works surprisingly well on an ipod for work out.
Earlier someone played Jesus Christ Pose and it works REALLY well.
As does this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ySzrJ4GRF7s
http://56.media.tumblr.com/4d24d80dc330eb3a599e21246ec59554/tumblr_o18id2VngQ1qg2tzfo1_1280.jpg
http://41.media.tumblr.com/453ac6b46f63786f06f4098fd21e3dd2/tumblr_o0s92wZTph1rn7bzro1_500.jpg
LOL…I know it well.
And sadly I usually do.
Speaking of movies…I got a (even worse) bad feeling about this.
http://comicsalliance.com/ben-affleck-reportedly-rewrote-batman-vs-superman-script-every-dayin-costume/
PUSSYTUBING AND PORTERHOUSES FOR ALL THE FAT HUMPS WOOOOOOOO
http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s–5lbsS8SW–/c_scale,fl_progressive,q_80,w_800/euzk9jrensbukzg3dybx.jpg
LOOGIT REXY ALL PREGNANT
http://www.sbnation.com/lookit/2016/2/24/11109754/nfk-video-bills-rex-ryan-half-pregnant-what
How’s it going ’round here?
http://i.perezhilton.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/kate-upton-uncomfortable-bikini-shoot-the-other-woman.gif
Even interestinger…
Technically legal!
The bikini or the chick? I’d card both probably.
http://40.media.tumblr.com/d2ec78ec21777bf3f46102208f46f180/tumblr_ntlw1bHvU31qz6f9yo1_1280.jpg
http://40.media.tumblr.com/274c150334b846b1f978a39f15d72a30/tumblr_nlr6801MAf1rsivy4o1_1280.jpg
Sexiest pic you’ve ever posted.
I…I may have a problem.
I had thoughts of posting a bunch of half dressed ladies to counter Moose. I ended up with this one nearly first.
http://45.media.tumblr.com/592e68b21da851b082e3edd7892d9587/tumblr_n0ux7hIJxe1rqnae3o4_r4_250.gif
So what I actually am gonna do is watch the extended cut of BSG – Unfinished Business.
http://40.media.tumblr.com/e9e2c2f8c143ea63981ef5ce6ba1accf/tumblr_nq4ait50Jb1u4l63jo7_1280.png
Evening, all.
http://45.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_md2keiL88k1qip78co1_500.gif
The scenery looks good, Moose.
/thumbs up
http://45.media.tumblr.com/a312e086bb5bd8b965406c31dabcbda6/tumblr_o2q00yGBQP1u08gzyo2_400.gif
It is old-fashioned, but I still celebrate Sexy Friday.
http://41.media.tumblr.com/a95f1745a923d43108a6d7fa7a3ce3a3/tumblr_mfpvom0gP31qc4zlyo1_1280.jpg
http://40.media.tumblr.com/3e6a2b4ae09aa7e05e5684fe380fa609/tumblr_o36d4j8v4W1ric2iqo1_1280.jpg
Hailey Baldwin in……………………………pants.
http://36.media.tumblr.com/8aa3b44ee258944a1a2f25a9dc0a5cd6/tumblr_o36dfm1Ayq1ric2iqo1_1280.jpg
http://41.media.tumblr.com/5c37252f0ba52d63a99cada160f97b90/tumblr_nsvejulFE31qzcd36o1_1280.jpg
http://36.media.tumblr.com/1891054e8c40dc8ced0fc09c839792fe/tumblr_nr89kj0Qec1qkegsbo1_500.jpg
http://57.media.tumblr.com/5d209fa26a0b72bf40511dab932c6c71/tumblr_o2zitcuVqe1rlb6iho9_250.gif
http://41.media.tumblr.com/4fa05c578393fbdd5d5e2f9862168fb5/tumblr_nw4dy5WtuG1rusndco1_1280.jpg
http://40.media.tumblr.com/2090bbe0498285e97a9ca7840cfe28d1/tumblr_nsc8lizJ941sns6h1o1_500.jpg
Where is Mr. Balls at?
http://45.media.tumblr.com/e405b177fa8c1a1cf90a8ffa45ea3e2a/tumblr_nau5d3eYY71rx47rko1_500.gif
http://56.media.tumblr.com/c5adf8ae7509182066ee33ac5efebbf8/tumblr_nmzfy3RZqH1qgd5zeo1_500.jpg
WOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
Boots on the ground.
http://41.media.tumblr.com/47c8423a6d768fcac5b9d0863b5ad7ac/tumblr_np6u6i3NHN1rtr67io1_500.jpg
Paget Brewster is on the new Mr Show that I’m watching now. I feel bad I closed the image search tab I kept open for days
Fuck the POLice.
http://41.media.tumblr.com/870c2483eede0a78de541eeb3c9202d6/tumblr_nsvuxmHyfu1t63w4qo1_1280.jpg
Rope it in.
http://40.media.tumblr.com/008fa6cbbaf96ba60f6069d11f03e626/tumblr_mz7tksJeej1sjg8ubo5_540.jpg
Go Vikings!
http://40.media.tumblr.com/e63db652a406cf67cad048df02ecf7d5/tumblr_ntcma5aZiA1tjgdieo1_500.jpg
http://41.media.tumblr.com/5ce563d0b12f320107f371e2c756614f/tumblr_njh3egDPpp1qz6f9yo5_1280.jpg
Speaking of Friday; down by the river.
http://41.media.tumblr.com/437f3ddb1e5631620401b3b4110c854b/tumblr_nhggtenT8L1s2pqpzo1_1280.jpg
Looks more stoned than drunk.
http://56.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6br7j3M2J1qzmopno1_500.jpg
I guess I can check Girl in the River off my list after all!
http://41.media.tumblr.com/8dd2c122d3ed39dac6b1303358e29e3f/tumblr_ngn3oskUTZ1qa42jro1_1280.jpg
Was “Sucker Punch” any good?
I’m still trying to figure out this whole Zack Snyder thing.
I enjoyed it, but I can definitely understand those who do not. Which is most people I talk to about to. Which probably means it sucked and I just have bad taste.
Visually fun, plot was stupidish.
Has anyone heard from Porky today? I don’t have basically anyone’s contact info other than here so I don’t even know how to check in with him
I was wondering the same. I can’t even imagine. I didn’t know the details except she was in the hospital.
Probably best to give space at this point, although I’ll be damned if I know what “best” is.
http://40.media.tumblr.com/020b2ccfce4295803bb7b05f569ea546/tumblr_nmj3mzGkoF1u38l26o1_1280.jpg
Mangalica is a rare breed of pig of Hungarian origin that have wool or fur resembling a sheep’s.
A farm boy’s dream come true.
http://40.media.tumblr.com/d79858c58cf5967048a0ca09d6e30f2b/tumblr_inline_o1htqjUiD41qm57tk_540.jpg
On another note; Happy Fucking Friday.
http://40.media.tumblr.com/0ffb607dd1843c1bd50f81847cffeafa/tumblr_n1b5mh7aZA1qd33wso1_1280.jpg
Just about time to head to the airport. I’ll see y’all in a week and change!
Have fun.
http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/twerk.gif
Later Zymm. Have a good trip. No clue where you are going or why but you will be missed.
Vietnam, for vacation. It’s gonna be warm and I’m gonna eat lots of tropical fruit and pho 🙂
Just don’t come back with a thirst for the tiger blood.
That’s some bad juju.
I heard that Steve Carell sounds like Prison Mike in “The Big Short.”
http://24.media.tumblr.com/578de49934be250fccaa7f67d911593c/tumblr_mkavfa1kCq1r6epwko2_250.gif
He sounds more like Prison Mike than like any other Michael Scott character, for sure.
STORGN TAEK. I fucking hate Wet Hot American Summer. I love the cast but other than
http://media0.giphy.com/media/h4ot8thGxKQFy/giphy.gif
there is nothing worth watching. Made it like 10 min into the new Netflix show
You are a bad person and should feel bad.
I agree and do. Still not on board praising a cast over actual movie content (really such a great cast, it should have been so much better)
When I made my plan to bring dog over to hang out with other dog, I didn’t make a plans for food and there is none here. Wait, there is salad somewhere, and I can make an amazing, yet basic italian dressing
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-eeSgXdGWDak/TvV7PQOvW8I/AAAAAAAACcg/XAoIoNTJ_ro/s1600/hot+girls+doing+nauty+things+animation+gifs.gif
http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-M0D7rbbpj8g/UVygQPRWNoI/AAAAAAAAJ-M/1JUZccNIlUo/s400/funny-toilet-paper-prank.gif
http://www.jingdianwenji.com/d/file/pic/2013-03-25/1669313d1e8af942b82e3b6432248470.jpg
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-B-kewXEXhZs/Uz77kto_onI/AAAAAAAAavE/b-Z0wDMBEvw/s1600/ob_6765a7_kate-upton-boobs.gif
Just spent an hour getting my internet working at my moms house so I could let my dickhead puppys play together. Giant pain in the ass, I had to heavily encrypt it and do other bullshit things to make it secure, couldn’t find the passwords. The fix was hitting a button on the side of the router
She works in the financial marker* Sorry, that got omitted
or market* if you can actually type well
So…what’s the second reason why 2015 is the year of the animated dong?
http://www.animated-gifs.eu/kitchen-sausages/0067.gif
http://media.giphy.com/media/vuUermKhDh3ji/giphy.gif
http://www.best-gif.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/funny-gifs-Dirty-weatherman.gif
OK, I have not even had a beer yet, damn.
http://www.slightlywarped.com/crapfactory/curiosities/2013/august/images/anime_is_weird_03.gif
Coming tomorrow!
http://www.sznbyby.com/uploads/allimg/110115/13_110115160131_1.gif
Now I want to watch all the shorts. Which ones can I watch on demand or on Netflix?
http://56.media.tumblr.com/9f1c1cdb84f9794921bdf358318ce61d/tumblr_nf5v5sqSi21qzjmcqo1_1280.jpg
Oh, sorry, you meant…….
There’s an answer coming on this as soon as I get home. Stay tuned.
Most download or on-demand services have the Shorts International bundle for like $15. It’s got all five live-action films and three of the five animated films (Bear Story, Prologue, and World of Tomorrow. I bought it from Amazon at first, but it didn’t have subtitles and four out of five films live-action are predominantly in a foreign language, so I got a refund and bought it again from iTunes. I don’t know if Amazon’s fixed the subtitle issue yet. (Every animated short in the bundle is either in English or without dialogue.)
Netflix has the (best) animated short World of Tomorrow, and the documentaries Chau, Between the Lines, and Last Day of Freedom. If you Google We Can’t Live Without Cosmos, The New Yorker has a licensed streaming video of it for free. I had to go outside established channels for Sanjay’s Super Team. You can’t watch the other three documentaries on your computer for love or money, but a theater near you may be showing them.
http://49.media.tumblr.com/e6e74f2bc7006872d365ffc057d4f8ca/tumblr_o2wyfqHmyT1u8qr43o2_500.gif
I’d like to ask everybody to lift a glass or light a bong or whatever you do of your very finest in spirit with our dear friend Porky who is now in the greatest pain imaginable. Please give it some thought and give those that you care about a hug or a kiss and celebrate that they are still with us on this bittersweet spinning ball.
Hear.
http://40.media.tumblr.com/a8d9eab3830ec1ba35c0d9e775b12919/tumblr_nsbry2qM8x1qz6f9yo6_1280.jpg
I hope it didn’t hurt her. I hope it wasn’t terrifying for her.
Sorry if that is too personal.
These posts are the only news and views I want to hear about this year’s movies.
Something WEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIRD is going on with the geeeetar thread.
Will there be an open thread for beer…. tonight?
If nobody starts a separate open thread, the comments here are open for business as always.
Beer and/ or tonight.
http://57.media.tumblr.com/156e3e8c1fa1e2ee34dc931100b46327/tumblr_niqrpaqxMC1qblp8lo2_r2_400.gif
Rarely has a woman been more aptly named.
And rarely has a star been so perfectly cast (yeah, there’s a stealth pun there, too).