I don’t believe there’s a person in North America – nay; the world – that feels any sympathy for Gary Bettman. But it does suck that, on the opening night of the NHL’s two-month journey towards winning the best trophy in sports (come at me!), the vast majority of interest is focused on basketball LA and Oakland. At least the league was helped by the Kings finishing ahead of the Sharks, so they didn’t try something stupid like having San Jose play tonight before a half-empty Tank.
Speaking of dancing around, Lynn Swann was named the new USC athletic director today. I’m sure George Atkinson can be found for a word or two about that. Maybe it’s me, but after the 1972 Dolphins, the group of old men I also don’t need to hear from are the 1970s Raiders. If they were that damn good or tough, they could give me the finger and show me a second ring. None of those windbags they show on NFL Network were around in January 1981, when Jim Plunkett showed Jaws how to play in the big game.
In the first hint of the upcoming adpocalypse, the NBA is voting this week on allowing jersey advertising, which would become effective for the 2017/18 season. The union strike about revenue sharing would follow soon after, I imagine. It might be enough to drag Peyton and Brett out of retirement in 2020 when it comes to the NFL.
While we’re on the subject of the NBA, don’t expect me to participate in the hagiography around Kobe Bryant. Good player; awful person. The pregame ceremony will probably make me vomit. Besides, I’ll be rooting for the Blues about that time.
Before I go, have fun doing math over the weekend! Luckily, Big Daddy Drew has some tax pointers for you over at Deadspin.
Tonight’s entertainment:
NHL Playoffs:
- Detroit @ Tampa Bay – 7:00
- NY Rangers @ Pittsburgh – 8:00
- Chicago @ St. Louis – 9:30
NBA: (14 games total)
- Kings @ Rockets – 8:00 (if Houston loses, then Utah is win & in)
- Jazz @ Lakers – 10:30
- Grizzlies @ Warriors – 10:30
Finally, if you recall, last week I mentioned that I was going to see Iron Maiden on Sunday night. Loud? YOU BET! A limited edition tour shirt that sold out in 5 minutes? NATURALLY! Fifteen songs like usual? OF COURSE! But a nice mix of old & new:
- If Eternity Should Fail
- Speed of Light
- Children of the Damned
- Tears of a Clown
- The Red and the Black
- The Trooper
- Powerslave
- Death or Glory
- The Book of Souls
- Hallowed Be Thy Name
- Fear of the Dark
- Iron Maiden
Encore:
- The Number of the Beast
- Blood Brothers
- Wasted Years
Here’s “The Trooper”
VANCOUVER DID SCREAM FOR YOU, BRUCE!
Pizza for the Chicago pie lovers: “Stuffed Spinach Pie”
“To create this gargantuan pizza, Via Chicago hand-presses their dough into a cake pan, and start with a layer of thick-sliced raw garlic. From there, asiago, mozzarella, and parmesan cheese are layered, with fresh spinach interspersed. A thin layer of dough caps things off, and the pizza is ready for the oven. Before the process is complete, it is removed from the oven, doused with a thick layer of sauce, and placed back in for a spell before being finished with a dusting of parmesan and a mixture of thyme, oregano, and rosemary.”
http://media2.fdncms.com/portmerc/imager/u/large/17878501/viachicago-1000.jpg
I ain’t care ’bout da haters; I’d fuck that pizza.
*Make sure it cooled down a bit first.
http://49.media.tumblr.com/b6f7f9faea75261df684d0d34dfeff8f/tumblr_myr17fUa0I1qhtij5o1_400.gif
Old Chicago (chain) makes something similar to this, but with spaghetti as the guts. Other than that spaghetti is my least favorite pasta, it’s delicious.
Best Rick and Morty character, or best character ever?
http://i1.sndcdn.com/artworks-000131941579-k9t4qc-t500x500.jpg
http://45.media.tumblr.com/d085972122475fb761cb52f1fc4fc24d/tumblr_o29c02k6I91qhtij5o1_400.gif
Next week is Pizza Week here in Portland: $2 slice specials at places that usually charge twice that. Only a couple are in my neighborhood, and I’m trying to decide how much effort I want to put into trying different local pizza. http://www.portlandmercury.com/events/17656074/portland-pizza-week
One place is doing an individual eight-inch pizza for $2.
http://media2.fdncms.com/portmerc/imager/u/large/17873677/amalfis-1-1000.jpg
http://www.portlandmercury.com/food-and-drink/2016/04/13/17873517/behold-the-slices
Slices from the three nearest joints:
Nacho Porko
“Their Nacho Porko slice isn’t just smeared with tangy, shredded porcine goodness—there’s also fresh diced tomato, salty olive rings, and spicy jalapeño rings, with all of that drizzled with sour cream and chipotle sauce.”
http://media1.fdncms.com/portmerc/imager/u/large/17873718/schmizza-1000.jpg
Yin Yang Theory and Dagger Moon
YYT: “The Spicy Aardvark tomato sauce wonderfully lifts the sweet hunks of pork that are nestled inside chewy pockets of cheese, while some lightly smoked mozzarella adds a gentle complexity, all topped off with crisp green onions.”
Dagger Moon: “a vegan-friendly delight, with succulent flavors and a terrific blend of spices. A look at the vegan pizza evidences plenty of green, crisp spinach, which is cut by orange-yellow chunks of tofu cheese and some bright stabs of color from the banana peppers. The white bean base is filling and creamy, and some red onion and stick dust makes this a rounded marvel in your mouth.”
http://media1.fdncms.com/portmerc/imager/u/large/17873730/sizzlepiewest-yinyangtheorypie-1000.jpg
The Green Dream
“This slice is vegetarian, tangy, and beautiful: The thickness of the white mozzarella base works in balance with the lightness and snap of green peppers, banana peppers, and a tasteful pesto swirl, while a dusting of parmesan adds some welcome salt.”
http://media2.fdncms.com/portmerc/imager/u/large/17878497/sfnywestside2-1-1000.jpg
OH YEAH!
http://49.media.tumblr.com/a3286af020e12789cab62659c077bab3/tumblr_msb6aoDgCH1sqjj4no1_500.gif
That’s hypnotic.
http://114.imagebam.com/download/2QrHCs4EqqCiOdDk4T5v-g/47428/474277767/w704-3.gif
I’d love too, but I’m not that flexible so I’m just afraid I’d cramp up before I finished.
http://45.media.tumblr.com/1dc1f2f38e8b2f59f559d934e537f092/tumblr_o3fk8ufzvq1qa70eyo3_400.gif
http://40.media.tumblr.com/b720a5dee658d9343d4b6cf5123f0534/tumblr_o3jbkh7h9J1sk770to1_1280.png
This is second only to your Egyptian queen gifs. I lovepizza. So, you know, keep posting both.
Fucking skillet pizza looks damn good and is not hard to make.
http://49.media.tumblr.com/6ed97dc6e3795d454a6c2ad08f0bbdc9/tumblr_n4fb6cLttw1tv6xlbo1_500.gif
Is there no dough? How does it stay together out of the skillet?
I’ve made it both ways and without crust it is more of a casserole I guess, but is was so good I didn’t give a shit. Another time I over sauced it (because I was over sauced), but it still tasted great, just burned a little. You can use the crust kit, but be careful because the skillet holds the heat. There is a lot of recipes on the interwebs for it.
This may only be porn to me.
http://49.media.tumblr.com/0a5340a15e806966a664b12555f754d8/tumblr_mumce5JnNz1qja050o1_500.gif
http://41.media.tumblr.com/8365a7532ee8507a2548bcc3db2516a1/tumblr_nf8khsrwYS1qjzvcco1_500.jpg
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http://49.media.tumblr.com/161f916246246578dd9a3a4619c9ef7c/tumblr_ni9zu6lDOb1rm9sqwo4_400.gif
Love me some Tonya, in particular leather bikini riding in Sheena.
http://49.media.tumblr.com/c4d87e88732b5fb371cc975f7520906d/tumblr_o1u0a8Nook1rdvi6fo2_250.gif
So… within the same ten months, there’s been a Triple Crown Winner, and a team broke the Bulls’ 72-10 season. This means Danny Willett will sweep the golf majors, right?
All the Grand Slams?
I thought it meant Willett has a shot at the Preakness
Maybe I’ll get that blowjob now.
Shit, THAT was the joke to make, Redshirt and me getting laid!
It can happen at the same time………..
http://45.media.tumblr.com/b9b9747895dc52acebf6453ead3e6d29/tumblr_njvjh8noNs1rbrhnko1_500.gif
http://41.media.tumblr.com/010231c031a67a26e29e80bf2344141a/tumblr_njvd0blLye1rojphdo1_500.jpg
Unsurprised: Remains alone
http://36.media.tumblr.com/dc4b392b725156e62d732ca8570b50a3/tumblr_njprrtRRC11rojphdo1_500.png
18/46 for 51 points. That is a lot of shots.
Kobe has always been such a good team player, he deserves the chance to for once be a little selfish and shoot a bunch before he retires.
http://40.media.tumblr.com/b2e95c7430c743da1600e37686371084/tumblr_mp58gbZBhO1sxkvkuo1_540.png
Hey Guys Hey! Remember that time Kobe bought his wife a $4 Million dollar ring out of pure love? What a sweetheart!
https://youtu.be/jYNBrZnxw_Q
http://41.media.tumblr.com/1bc6a98e48ec872d6d6b73fb27608a7b/tumblr_n1srrgMcvk1qzjw8go1_500.jpg
Slappy McFaceStick comes back next game. Better hit your wives/black people for luck, Blues fans! #policelivesmatter
Shit, I missed you guys. ?
So yeah, here’s a gif that took far too long to post.
http://40.media.tumblr.com/b595d48d14daef2fceee3698bc99d183/tumblr_njw7bcbUY31rojphdo1_500.jpg
I just “approved” 20-odd something comments* “awaiting moderation.” I have no idea how that works on someone else’s post; check and see if your’s is there now?
*I was not aware of this until now.
Aren’t most DFOers awaiting moderation?
That’s what the bartender and/or pill dealer usually says, anyway.
http://49.media.tumblr.com/034a71857ba3c0c7913835551d47b0de/tumblr_njtau3F84P1rl1jado1_500.gif
Well that ate a dick.
Kobe has 43 with 7 left. The Lakers have 80. He has taken 40 shots. This is about right.
And now, to wrap up the evening, let’s watch the Warriors topple the untouchable record.
Yay! FUCK the Blackhawks!
booooooooooo
All my comments are awaiting moderation. Totally setting up McButthole69 tomorrow, you guys.
I vote for “Assface McButtface69”
But then again, I’m just a old softie at heart.
Oooooh-weeeee!
Of course this game ends in an own-goal. In overtime. With a 1-0 final.
http://115.imagebam.com/download/EM1A7gvWdjU3RHLdRVpvDw/47762/477610818/684550.jpg
If only those counted as negative to get 0-(-1), the score it would deserve.
Okay, lemme try this:
https://en.reddit.com/r/gifs/comments/4e98lx/harley_what/
just look at the source
It has to end in .gif
Last time: http://i.imgur.com/qXPv1KG.gif
Imgur links don’t work here.
thank you! finally it makes sense
I think the others were fucking with you.
Just tell people to right click, copy image address and post in a new tab.
/This works only in Chrome, if you are using something else that is on you
Lets try this one more time: http://i.imgur.com/qXPv1KG.gifv
Hehe…I bought two big ass boxes of Chimichangas at Sam’s Club today.
Sadly, the pharmacy was fresh out o’ crack.
Wow….double moderation.
Is that like double penetration?
Yeah, you drunk fucks have no idea what I’m talking about because you can’t yet see my posts which both got thrown into MODERFUCKINGATION.
How many OTs can this go before someone fucking scores?
Kane will force it in there shortly. He doesn’t need their consent.
You know, I can respect someone not particularly caring for superhero movies, off topic gifs, or not even finding Margot Robbie that attractive.
But all 3? C’mon man
v
That is a person whose ideas are not intriguing to me, and I have no interest in subscribing to their newsletter.
Let’s try one more time..
v
http://www.chrysander.com/lebowski/dude_jesus.jpg
What’s this about not liking off topic gifs??
They must FUCKING HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE me.
NSFW-ish, broken link to be safe
h ttp://i.imgur.com/QBp2ZHM.jpg
What happens if the Warriors get upset in the playoffs? Goes the Earth’s magnetic field suddenly shift 25 degrees?
That is already happening, global warming is melting ice and changing the poles because of changing weight distribution with the water relocating.
http://www.miataturbo.net/attachments/build-threads-57/157743d1450453298-93-miata-stolen-flipped-build-thread-xtdcjup.gif
Yeah, I don’t that’s how that works.
“Earth has settled in the last 20 million years into a pattern of a pole reversal about every 200,000 to 300,000 years, although it has been more than twice that long since the last reversal.”
http://www.nasa.gov/topics/earth/features/2012-poleReversal.html
https://www.inverse.com/article/14012-nasa-scientists-show-glacial-melting-is-moving-the-north-pole-towards-england
WCS specifically said magnetic pole.
You’re talking about pole/axis of rotation.
Huge difference.
Goddammit…why are all of my comments falling to moderation.
Fuck this. I’ve got shit to do.
*think
http://i.imgur.com/aMkSysI.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/gkFNjky.jpg
Is it really “bonus” hockey if it’s barely watchable?
It’s the same kind of “bonus” as herpes, as in, it’s awful, and never fully ends.
Sounds like being a Pirates fan!
/self high-five
Worked out ok for the Olsen Twins:
http://www.tugentelatina.com/media/images/ImageManager/971/Elizabeth-Olsen-Hot.jpg
There it is. Steph’s got 400. Incredible.
Psssh, at the rate Kobe’s heaving shots, he could do that in another twenty games tops.
So my dog just vomited basically it’s entire dinner on the hardwood. I’m assuming it’s in response to the scoreless game
Of course OT. It is the Hawks, I shouldn’t have assumed anything else
Kobe’s gonna go for 40. The Lakers will score 65, but Kobe’s gonna get 40.
The universe owes the Blues an Yzerman moment.
Oh well.
Fuck that. The universe is repaying this shit town for years of smug Cardinals bullshit. #BFIB
“Man these stupid as hawks fans so fair wether”
-the one penguins fan I know
Let’s Go Ice XTREME!! Put the biscuit in the basket!
http://www.crushable.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/Arrested-Development-GOB-Oh-Come-On.gif
OR ELSE IT GETS THE HOSE AGAIN
Little Caesar’s Stuffed Crust? Why can’t a GOOD pizzeria do that? Come on, joints in NYC, make that a new specialty slice.
Most of my local Jersey thin slice places do a stuffed crust.
http://49.media.tumblr.com/d2dfa88712431c1f7ec01996d52f1af9/tumblr_o1u0a8Nook1rdvi6fo6_250.gif
The blazing white of watching hockey on tv is only matched by watching BYU play basketball.
http://36.media.tumblr.com/347ee8df304e145328721d613c5da6fe/tumblr_o1f6zosIoT1rbz8k2o1_1280.jpg
http://40.media.tumblr.com/b7177eb8d1142f0833b78198fdbd9a21/tumblr_o4ayjk5fZm1r8u8uko1_500.png
I have seen the same amount of offense in the Blackhawks–Blues game as I had when the Rockies game was on this tv.
TIGHT CHECKIN’
LOW SCORIN’
AND TIES?
NOT ANYMORE!
http://45.media.tumblr.com/02d920b8cd28dd7d74a76eebb57246bc/tumblr_o435dzfmql1ukldkho1_400.gif
Whore
Curry now has 399 3-pointers on the year.
That stat about him shooting 48% from 30+ feet is amazing. Rest of league: 7%
That’s 1,197 pts.
/good at multiplication tables.
http://41.media.tumblr.com/9f88f16a82f0deebca82cbf7a5c22552/tumblr_o3qe287hH51r1o8hko2_400.jpg
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I just got this forwarded to me.
It’s supposed to be the exact recipe for Hattie B’s Nashville Hot Chicken sauce.
1/2 cup melted lard
4 tablespoons cayenne pepper
1 tablespoon brown sugar
1 teaspoon kosher salt
1 teaspoon cracked black pepper
1/2 teaspoon paprika
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
1 teaspoon white vinegar
Whisk it all into the melted lard and pour it over your fried chicken.
The lard makes it seem legit.
Didn’t this get posted on Twitter by a disgruntled ex-employee?
Ok, thought exercise, what with Kobe retiring: Top 5 NBA players all time. No right answers, plenty of wrong ones. In no particular order…
Jordan, Magic, Kareem, LeBron, Chamberlain.
COME AT ME BRO
I feel bad about not having Bill Russell but can’t argue him over Wilt or Alcindor. Can I have Dr. J over Lebron because fuck that guy?
No rules, so “fuck that guy” is allowed. Dr. J is a fine sub.
Honestly, would you take LeBron over Bird? Bird was ruthless. NOONE DENIES THIS.
As a Celtics fan I’d find a way to fit Bird in there, though not sure who I’d bump out.
Of course you would
Jordan, Bird, Magic, Duncan, Curry.
That’s a little high for Eddie Curry
Wait this isn’t competitive eating? Nevermind,.
Chip Kelly picks John Stockton, Kevin McHale, Jerry West, Larry Bird and Luc Longley.
Was Shawn Bradley ineligible?
No Brian Scalabrine? Where’s the love for the White Mamba?
No Christian Laettner?
Even Chip Kelly hates Duke.
I watched the Shittsburgh Polar Flightless Ratbirds tonight, and had an epiphany. Their goalie, no matter who, is the Jay Cutler of hockey. The fans either love or hate him, he can be spectacular, but he will never take them to a championship. This applies mostly to Fluery, but it applies to them all. Eat shit, Shittsburgh! Sarah Sprague sucks!
Also, unfortunately, my attempt to create a new account, McButthole69 failed spectacularly. So there is nothing left to do but troll divorced recovering alcoholics with anger and ego issues. Night, fellas!
I got one tv turned to the Blackhawks game
http://a.abcnews.go.com/images/Health/HT_sam_griner_then_02_jef_150413_16x9_992.jpg
You’re missing Bob’s Burgers!!!!!!!!
http://cdn1.theodysseyonline.com/files/2016/01/18/6358875075525662791519374181_Not%20Really%20Here.gif