Your “Super Bowl LV Should’ve Been in Vegas” Wednesday Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob
Because we all need to hear more about this!

Landing like a wet turd yesterday was the announcement that Atlanta (2019), Miami (2020) and LA (2021) would host Super Bowls LIII, LIV & LV respectively. Lord knows each town has the available hookers & drug supply to handle the job. I’m sure the new Atlanta SphincterBowl and LA’s KroenkeWorld will be sheer palaces of excess that’ll make JerryWorld look like garbage. I’m sure South Beach can compensate for Miami’s other shortcomings.

However, looking at this list, I feel fairly confident we will again fail to have a home team playing in their town’s Super Bowl before 2022.

Arguments have been raised that the game should no longer be at a “neutral site”, but at the stadium of the team with the best record. That’s ridiculous, because what town could possibly prepare for a 80,000 person convention in two weeks? Taking a practical look, let’s use Green Bay.

I’ve been to Lambeau Field:

  • Milwaukee’s General Mitchell airport (MKE) couldn’t handle the traffic surge, and O’Hare is 2.5 hours away
  • the interstate up to Green Bay is a two-hour drive under the best conditions. It’s a state highway from both Madison & Minnesota.
  • guaranteed sellouts means there hasn’t been enough tourist infrastructure built up in the Green Bay area to accommodate the sudden influx.
    • unless you pay the premium, most hotels are in Appleton, 30 minutes away.
  • they’d have to deputize the National Guard in order to provide enough security.
  • “This is Peter King live at Brett Favre’s Steakhouse…”
  • February 5th in Green Bay.

Which raises an interesting point: why not a pure neutral-site Super Bowl? Maybe not all the time; how about once every 5 years? Put it in a city that has no NFL ties. Rog has such a hard-on for the international market – let London or Mexico City host in 2022. (Providing, of course, God-Emperor Trump allows international travel.) Or, to accommodate the “AMERICA FIRST!!1!1” crowd, pick cities that don’t have an NFL team. They’ve punished Hawaii with enough Pro Bowls, let them have a real game for once. Why should Columbus or Tuscaloosa lose out, simply because they don’t have an NFL team; thanks to university “donations” and tax laws, those stadiums are better suited for the big game than Jacksonville or San Diego. They’ve held the game at Stanford and the Rose Bowl, so why not The Big House?

Worse things have been played there in the snow.

Or, they could just accept being the whores that they are, and do what’s right: Las Vegas. It’s got the infrastructure, if not the stadium. But what billionaire and mayor wouldn’t make that happen as part of “developing” the UNLV campus, especially if there were a shot at Super Bowl LVI? Hell – they gave LA #55 and that stadium is still a tract of dirt in Inglewood. The Vegas mob is surely easier to negotiate with than the 111th Street Crips. And I’m sure the “gambling issue” – if not acknowledged – can be easily papered over with donations and misdirection.


Speaking of Vegas, it looks like Rog is still intent on making Oakland beg. He wants to keep them in Oakland, methinks because the League would collect more in expansion fees than they would via relocation. He won’t come out and say that, of course, so he hides behind the usual bailiwick of gambling. But it seems Kraft and Jerrah have come around on the deal, which is shocking given their A-1 stances on moral issues.

I point this out because someone at sports aggravator Bleacher Report asked Mark Cuban about the costs of NFL expansion. Cuban said that the fees would range into “the billions”. The League gets relative peanuts if Mark Davis moves the team. Failing to land that whale could be the only thing that would bring down Rog.


Let your magic change these words, Jubliee.

Oh god – it sounds like “X-Men: Apocalypse” is just awful. Worse than Batman V Superman; possibly worse than even X-Men: The Last Stand. I’m still going to go, because I’m admittedly in the bag for comic book movies, but I dislike hate-watching movies. “So bad it’s good” I can deal with, but simply bad might be a cry for help.

I wonder who Aaron Rodgers favourite character is?


Finally, loogit this horseshit:

I believe we’ve reached peak OHMYGODWHATTHEFUCKISTHISBULLSHIT?!?!WHENDOESTHESEASONSTART?!?!

Tonight’s Playoff Contests:

  • NHL: Blues @ Sharks – 9:00 – ELIMINATION GAME
    • Game 6 (Sharks up 3-2)
  • NBA: Toronto @ Cleveland – 8:30
    • Game 5 (Series tied 2-2)

There was only one redeeming aspect to the last Miami Super Bowl.

NO ONE DENIES THIS!

 

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.

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laserguru

Thanks Beer Guy Rob for the Inglewood experience drop.

I’m about due for part two.

Survey says they are building the new Hollywood Park Casino before they even begin construction on Ramsopolis.

I am Jack’s complete lack of surprise.

This crooked fucking city man!

I have a date on Friday night to see these two in SLO.

Leave it to us stoned Angelinos to abbreviate San Luis Obispo.

Fantastic seats in a fantastic venue.

I’ll be home in time to make Sunday Gravy.

Covalent Blonde

I hope Friday is awesome! That should be fantastic!

laserguru

I really really love these two.

Congrats on your Sharks, Kitty Cat!

Now go kick some Eastern Conference ass!

Covalent Blonde

Here’s to hoping that the Bolts win so WCS’s daughter doesn’t come into the world seeing her only father typing obscenities to an internet antagonist in the final round!

laserguru

Hasn’t he suffered enough!

Sleep well Blondie.

I’m rooting for your team from here on out.

Covalent Blonde

Good night, buttercups! Time for me to slumber off to Stanley Cup dreams!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Unsurprised
Unsurprised
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Brocky

call Garfield Overrated all you want, it still had its moments, this is going to be me tomorrow morning, the last line especially.

http://www.icoolen.com/sites/default/files/u6/ga880404.gif

Covalent Blonde

It’s not often that an orange tabby cat can express my deepest fears and emotions, but when one does his name is Garfield.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Reenactment of my listening audience of me telling that great high school story:

http://67.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lyh26xFSLE1qig9p5o1_400.gif

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

I can’t lie.
I’m mesmerized more by her facial expression/reaction than anything.
I will now stop talking.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I have to figure out which Elizabeth Peña movie this was.

I assume that’s her. Shit, it could be anyone really.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Holy shit. The “reveal” this episode had me shocked/laughing so hard I had to get up and do a lap like I was an audience member at a Def Comedy Jam (I actually went to one. It was fantastic.).

Unsurprised
Unsurprised
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

Why am I laughing so hard at this?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Covalent Blonde

Because it’s funny, that’s why!

theeWeeBabySeamus

True.
/needs to talk to that baboon ’bout a “loan”.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

No, that’s not right.

-Lack of sleep?
-Medication imbalance?
-Alcohol on and empty stomach?
-Ergotism?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Jeez dude, who gave you my medical files?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Why can’t it be all four?”

-theeWeeBabySeamus theeWeeBabySeamus

theeWeeBabySeamus

Inorite? As I always sometimes occasionally say….Let’s not rule anything out.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

ergotism |ˈərɡəˌtizəm|
noun
poisoning produced by eating food affected by ergot, typically resulting in headache, vomiting, diarrhea, and gangrene of the fingers and toes.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

ergot |ˈərɡətˈərˌɡät|
noun

ORIGIN
late 17th cent.: from French, from Old French argot ‘cock’s spur’ (because of the appearance produced by the disease).

theeWeeBabySeamus

You left out the visual and auditory hallucinations.
Sounds like fun, eh?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Too random.

Covalent Blonde

Sooooo…. I just got home, but did anyone just happen to notice… MY SHARKS FUCKING WON!

At least 4 more games left for my Sharks to Shark!

theeWeeBabySeamus

OH…did they play tonight?
Did they make a lot baskets?

Covalent Blonde

So many home runs!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised
Unsurprised

USA 1 – 0 ECUADOR

Goal at 90′

Nice night.

blaxabbath

I’m on board with the Super Bowl being just a flashmob order event. Like, all of a sudden at noon on the first Sunday in Feb, the 2016 Cardinals and Texans show up at any random shopping mall and commence playing their league championship game.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

You’re supposed to pick real teams

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

The Americans!

Later.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Relevant

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Not “Feel”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

True. To feel it is to be it?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

More like “I am naked and alone”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

My couch ain’t care.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Alright, I’m off to bed. Thanks, btw, for the Seattle recs. Not sure the ladyfriend will want me to add breweries to our vacay, but I’ll do my best. Night, all.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Tell her she’s going or else you’re gonna withhold sex.
That always works.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Just drive there and tell her you got lost because of all the construction.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Those are great suggestions. Maybe stop at several and act like the prostate commercial dude who has to go to all the restrooms?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Eep. From CB:

“Here is how you know that you are conditioned to losing: A3 point lead with three minutes to go and I am still biting my nails waiting for the Sharks to shark.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

That would actually be awesome.

Doktor Zymm

I prefer the hollow Earth theory

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Shit…looks like Krieger finally lost it.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Made from genuine baby parts.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Oh, right. All the stuff I did.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

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theeWeeBabySeamus
Senor Weaselo

So they switch goalies… to pull the goalie.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Per the backup QB question on Super Bowls, Earl Morral?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Griese played, but Morral got them there. As hippo said the position of a backup is important for practice reps, running the scout team competently enough to test the defense, and another perspective on the side lines. That is why teams with a younger QB try to get an experienced starter for a backup. If you are a descent team the backup should be good enough to get you through 4 – 6 games at at least .500. The teams like the Broncos and Ravens had good enough defenses to have QBing that was no better than a backup.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Another one of those situations was Hostetler and Simms.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Even the 85 Bears needed Steve Fuller to not shit the bed while the punky QB was out for a spell.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Shit, I can’t believe I didn’t think of Hostetler.

Of course, Kurt Warner and Dreamboat were backups at the beginning of their first SB seasons too…

Cuntler

Steve “Motherfuckin'” Fuller. He ran like lighting. He passed like thunder. People forget that IMO.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Like the motherfucking bat signal brought you here

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

His real middle name was Motherfucker too.

Cuntler

That was some timing right there.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

A good back helps team morale, too good of a backup divides the team, a shitty backup….. Dallas.

Cuntler

All backups: Cleveland. Or 2016 Denver.

/ducks

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The bottom 14 starters are backup worthy.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Also; looking back on it; I personally don’t have a problem with Denver’s shitty QBing in 2016.

http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/736x/96/68/35/96683581ec37713a034ef4bf4d22eb31.jpg

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Did CB’s hoodie just get tighter? (so to speak)
http://www4.pictures.zimbio.com/mp/-0-gQiiWGukx.gif

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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