OK, so what do we got going tonight? Most stuff has already started because I drank all your liquor, and passed out. Then a frantic call to the DFO Clubhouse phone line woke me up from a slumber in which I was dreaming about…..well. That’s not important.
–
The Pens and Sharks are knotted at one after the first period. (NBCSN)
There’s allegedly some futbol being played.
The NCAA Baseball Tourney is still a thing….for me.
/ducks the rotten tomatoes hurled at head
And it appears that I’m done with MLB for the night because the Yanks are pounding the ever loving dog piss out of my Orioles.
–
Hell, you people have the internet, you can look this stuff for yourselves.
Enjoy 🙂
–
Holy shit. That shot.
Yeah. No one could have stopped that.
But that soft goal in the 3rd…
http://cdn.someecards.com/someecards/usercards/520a6c5f2a645632dfa015ba275e736d95.png
Important DC news: 9:30 club now sells Duchesse. In a related development, I’m hammered.
Not neaty as ga mer ad I am!!! $
Gonna be one of these games, eh?
fuck me, thought that puck was in for GLORIOUS 3-0 series lead
I swear this cat has fucking ADD or something. Just keeps zooming about the yard. I’ve been panhandling a plate of food for the last 45 minutes and it has gotten colder.
It sees dead ppl?
Sp apparently, singing the lyrics to wils thibg are looked down. Upon at your local watering hole!!
http://sd.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk/i-w600/i-m-sorry-i-thought-this-was-america-7.jpg
Out of everything, THAT’s where the draw the line? Also it’s still too early in the night for the obligatory Bohemian Rhapsody, but it is mandated to happen.
Don’t worry, we already covered that I yhe the limo.
Motherfuckers kept ttying to skip ahead a verse
you probably just weren’t singing loud ENOUGH.
BOURBLE ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED
PLAY FREEBIRD, MAN. WHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Overtime again!
http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/yippie.gif
Sweet…Playing Rush Xanadu during the break. Very nice touch Shark people.
Indeed. Even I have to give them credit for that.
Xanadu, you say?
http://youtu.be/oWeJ9p42ufg
NO NOT THAT ONE!!!
/didn’t hate that song as a kid
//was a dumb kid
I love that fucking song!
I’m beginning to notice that Brent Burns is kind of a major asshole in addition to being a BEARD FRAUD
Olivia Munn is quite familiar with the concept of being a beard fraud.
YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
I want to cheer FOAR Ecuador, but I see the yellow bar marked “ECU” and I instinctively cringe…
Well played.
I figured you would appreciate!
You know me (and about 100K of your closest friends clad in red) all too well.
You both must have had a lot of problems with your Engine Control Units over the years!
I have the same problem with the Lake Erie Honchos of the unaffiliated American Minor Baseball League Of America.
Tis a fine drug, and the best solution I know for America’s obesity epidemic.
meth… it was so good they used it as weight lose pills.
That Jim Carrey SNL sketch was truly the only time I found him (post-In Living Colour) funny.
http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/jimmy-tangos-fat-busters/2861295
The sketch is 20 yrs old 1996
Indeed. I am old, and I don’t generally like Jim Carrey in a comedic role. But that shit was hilarious.
Usually dislike Will Farrell, too. But again, he good there.
I would be fully down if they lowered the cost.
Tacos and cocaine. Natural, mortal enemies.
I dunno. They both make you shit (or so I’ve heard).
I feel pretty,
Oh, so pretty,
I feel pretty, and witty and gay,
And I pity
Any girl who isn’t me today.
I feel charming,
Oh, so charming–
It’s alarming how charming I feel,
And so pretty
That I hardly can believe I’m real!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So this is what happens during a night out in Wrigleyville…
Did I just like my own comment?
YOU’RE GODDANM RIGHT I DID!!!
I have the teevee box volume set to 6 to summon the ghost of Super Mario to pull this one out and it’s NAWT WORKING.
/perhaps because he not dead yet??
Mario is always with us.
Unlike Gretzky, I bet I could converse with Mario for 5 minutes without stabbing him in the neck with a pen.
Heehee…Chapman taking people out left and right tonight.
The fun part about ordinary shots of malort is the mixed reactions from people who have encountered that paticular drink before, or the insightful newbies unaware of the evil they are about to unleash
http://pa1.narvii.com/5935/de433d87d48696c26242e79e26900cf1e159ffc1_hq.gif
…and that’s when the acid kicked in!!!
BEER AND SLEDGEHAMMERS WOO
YES! DELAY THE INEVITABLE!
mother goddamned fuck
Sister’s cat is either really stupid or really clever. Currently snuck out the open door, and I’m on porch duty. She’s a black cat.
Matt Murray….exorcising SO MANY Fleury demons…
Only really one of those.
When your team only scores two goals in four games in front of you it’s pretty tough to win.
Fair point and I also spoke too soon
Burns and Thornton both started growing those beards before the playoffs began.
BEARD FRAUDS
California poser noobs ,, smgdh
The real problem is that this person will be happy, and I just can’t be okay with that.
Counterpoint:
Philadelphia sports fans are the dirt worst, that’s why that’s an acceptable tattoo.
Yeah, but so will this guy.
http://s3.otherpeoplespixels.com/sites/16218/assets/IIvSOAzX.jpg
And just think how happy Cindy will be that her ex is crying into his whatever-they-drink-in -San-Jose!
Bit of a softball there.
http://67.media.tumblr.com/3a142bbc6ec35a541a00351dca39c588/tumblr_inline_mjtrinTfSg1qz4rgp.jpg
You guys are the only ones who ever called him that, so I knew you’d appreciate the coincidence.
if it’s any consolation, he ain’t seen his dick in like, 10 years. He can only get SO happy…
Setting the Over/Under on the number of Galaxy 7 Edges that are ruined per day by some jagoff going “YAH BRO IT’S TOTES WATERPROOF CHECK IT OUT” and throwing it into a pool at 75,912.
I can say that is all that will fuck up a perfectly indestructable BlackBerry. I jumped into a pool stupidly once, and drunkenly dropped it in the toilet whilst checking texts and/or internets whilst pissing (TWICE). That’s IT for damage in 10+ years.
I’ll take the over!
Speaking of that Archer finale…
SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!!
How are they gonna avoid making teh for reals tWBS a partial orphan (as far as everyone knows)?
Krieger has lots and lots of cyborgs? Also, Archer has been shot multiple times, and drowned before. Why not again?
/still two eps behind
//not listening…la la la la la la la
http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s–HOKie9b8–/ziwcsxl6c159li6f0xt8.gif
Fx hasn’t renewed it yet, so I would imagine that will play into if it gets resolved.
I think el futbol managers should fucking wear uniforms like in el beisbol.
Counterpoint:
Gentlemen.
ur sober ,, smh
Don’t remind me.
Hey, waiting for GLORIOUS DEFENSE OF SUPER BOWL L CHAMPIONSHIP is fucking torture no matter what.
Just because someone is capable of typing accurately does not necessarily indicate sobriety.
Auto correct will not get the better of me tonight!!!
Rodent.
OK, there’s a yellow team on the pitch, and the team in FUCKING BLUE is Brasil. FACK YOU, Nike…
Whilst we wait FOAR teh 3rd third to commence…ECUADOR!! JV BRASIL!!!! HAWT!!!!!
http://i.imgur.com/9xXoS.gif
Didn’t notice until I hit post that that’s an imgur. Will go bye bye soon.
Do Jonesy and Millsy know who really shot Kennedy or something?
HOW DO THESE SIMPERING TWATWAFFLES HAVE THESE JOBS
Sigh, Sharks. Don’t do this to us.
Matt Murray is goddamned amazing as long as he sees the puck being shot.
EVERYBODY GET HORNY
http://s25.postimg.org/cjm6c2zcf/19e044yem88ftgif.gif
extended-release muscle relaxer? check
vicuprofen? check
Dale’s Pale Ale (lucky FOAR Ice Stillers)? CHECK
I’ve seen buckets of live bait more organized than the Pens’ powerplay.
BUT 2-1 WOOOOOO!!!!!!
/ducks Covalent stone
Mmmm…creampie…
http://assets.kraftfoods.com/recipe_images/opendeploy/54372_SGS_K25326V0_OR1_OH_640x428.jpg
Pro Tip… Don’t google “Cream Pie”
It’s just actual pies.
I know but my girlfriend is on a diet so she gets made when I look at them.
“…gets made…”
Is that what the kids are saying these days?
Madre Weaselo made chocolate cream pie. It unfortunately has a coconut macaroon crust. Senor is disappointed but did have a slice anyway.
So I’m doing a bar crawl in Wrigleyville as part of a bachelor party.
Few things are as magical in life as a bar full of drunk male cubs fans singing “girls just want to have fun”
How’s your evening?
Less sausage.
Doesn’t sound like a lot less, but less.
Chicago never evolved past 1987.
At least musically.
Wrigleyville is fun as hell and very drunk.
Let’s wake this bar up!
OK, I might have written the Birds off too soon.
http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m86t3wkcOx1qezgok.gif
Raise your hand if you saw that coming!
/Senor raises hand and looks for the last beer in the fridge
My el birdos came back from nil-4 to score 7 straight FOAR victory.
I want that Infiniti ad to come to life as a giant insect so I can blow it to smithereens with a 12-gauge.
Emrick driving me to the outer limits of sanity…
http://cdn.hitfix.com/photos/6214402/HannibalLecterSOTL.jpg
-Everyone
If we have to use Miller or Chapman tonight, so help me.
I really miss Miller in a Birds uni.
OH GOD NICK GOODY WE’RE DOOMED
I’ve given up on this cold and am chugging bulleit
“The Bourble Cure”
I’m up to 58′ of Haití – Perú and Wakezilla was right: this Haiti squad is hella lively.
I miss football… I both miss it and despise it.
That’s how I feel about alcohol.
Quitting drinking is easy… I do it every day.
wtf
I’m finally sitting down and drinking some beers.
I’ve been working on a pretty detailed recipe for NEXT Sunday’s Sunday Gravy – not tomorrow’s.
It took two hours just to make a fucking condiment.
I may need therapy.
Fortunately no knife injuries so far.
http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/the-french-chef/n8667
I do have to ask, why is a Stanley Cup Final game on not-network TV? Also 12 runs in two games, that’s the Yanks’ total for the next week.
Last night was a tough one for either team to lose.
Tonight, not so much. Yanks on target tonight.
Because a rerun of whatever dumbshit music reality show on nbc gets better ratings. Is that because ratings and the way there are measured is bullshit? Yes. Is it also possibly because hockey commercial breaks are hard to time, and fairly limited (about 3 per period)? I think so.