Your “Finally, It’s Over…OH GOD, NOW THE ACTUAL CAMPAIGN!” Tuesday Open Thread

Brief NFL briefs:

• Someone hacked the NFL’s twitter account, and posted the news Patriots fans were waiting for.
  • Bitterness remained after the truth came out.
    • About the hack & Goodell not being dead – not deflated balls. That’s still going on.
• 7 teams opened veteran minicamps today: The Arizona Cardinals, Cleveland Browns, Denver Broncos, Indianapolis Colts, New England Patriots, Philadelphia Eagles and San Francisco 49ers. Here are your wagers:
  • First team with a major injury to a starter
  • First Browns injury (not to be confused with…)
  • What will Mark Sanchez hurt first?
  • Over/under on positive Jimmy Garoppolo press references – I call 36
  • Will Sam Bradford snap? Tie-breaker: Before or after he gets hurt?
  • Will Kaepernick play with others? What will his story be?

Well, get out the bear spray and put the sign on the door, because after tonight the US presidential election is ON! It’s the final primaries tonight, and if it was closer then California might’ve meant something. But, given that none of the states are “winner take all”, there’s no chance – outside of the convention – to still feel the Bern.

Results should start coming in about 5:00 ET, in case you want to waste your evening that way.

So it’s down to a historic battle between the first major-party female candidate and the first actual tycoon candidate since John Frémont.

If you live in one of those identified battleground states – CO, IA, FL, NC, NH, NM, NV, OH, OR, VA, – you’d best be setting your voice mail recording to “PISS OFF”, because you are about to get a whole bunch of robocalls. And I hope you like strangers knocking at your door, because 2016 and all of that PAC money is going to get dropped on making sure you get every pamphlet and know every position the candidates hold.

BTW, it’s too late to help Bernie, and too early to help Trump, but good ol’ boy Roger Clinton grabbed himself a DUI on Sunday night. I’m guessing he thought his 2001 pardon was a lifetime pass.

To squash more of your hopes for a peaceful summer – don’t think if you live outside one of those battleground states you’re going to be immune from the madness. There are 34 Senate seats up, and the Republicans have to defend 24 of those. Given that there’s already one SCOTUS seat in limbo, I hope you enjoy being harassed walking into & out of Target & Costco.

To improve your mood before the comments, here’s some Pet Shop Boys.

I’ll be seeing them LIVE on October 24th. I may be the only breeder there.

Tonight’s Copa Schedule:

• USA vs Costa Rica – 8:00 – @ Soldier Field
• Colombia vs Paraguay – 10:30 – @ the Rose Bowl

I wonder whose anthem will get screwed up tonight? Sunday was Uruguay, and Monday was Chile. Here’s hoping they’ve dusted off Carl Lewis for another Chicago appearance.

Alternative Programming:

• ABC – “The Bachelorette” – 8:00
  • Is Aaron Rodgers’ brother still on? How many of them have VD yet? So many questions…
• Showtime – “60 Minutes Sports” – 9:00
  • this will be where they show the somewhat-talked about Marshawn Lynch interview.
• VH1 – “Purple Rain” – 9:00

I discovered that there is apparently a “Univision Canada” channel, and it is the network showing the Copa up here. Since it’s neither a mandatory French channle nor part of my optional cable packages, it’s been all questionable streams for me. I think my wife would prefer I watch Russian porn on my iPad than garbled Russian TV feeds.

THAT ARRANGED CAN BE!