NFL News:
- If you took the Saints in the draw, well – you’re a winner. Which is strange, because they weren’t part of the roster that opened veteran minicamps on Tuesday. Regardless, Defensive End Hau’oli Kikaha tore his ACL and is done for the year. Somewhere in western New York, a Wolfman lets loose a lonely howl in sympathy.
- New NFL rules in place today tweak existing guidelines based upon incidents from last year:
- The “James Jones rule” now prohibits wearing hoodies under a jersey. The reason is that they block view of the player’s name plate.
- The “Joey Porter rule” now prohibits an assistant coach from entering the playing field except to specifically treat an injured player. The reason is because Steelers-Bengals 2016 playoffs.
- Hue Jackson has publicly stated that he has not decided on a starting QB yet, and will need more time to decide on a #1. “About Week 12” was the best anyone could get.
- In an interview on the Steelers website, Boss Todd echoed earlier Big Ben statements, saying “thirty points a game is still a goal.”
- Via the AJC, profootballtalk has Roddy White stating he will only sign with a club that wants to win now, because he’s only got 1-2 more years left. “I don’t have the energy to be on teams that can’t win now.” So…hello Lions?
- Numerous sites are reporting Cam has “retired” the Dab, and will have something new for the 2016 season. It’s not the “stutter step; don’t recover the fumble”, because we saw that in the Super Bowl.
- Finally, 2016 Tebow (ie – QB with a bad arm that people keep linking to teams) Johnny Manziel got served with a lawsuit as he exited a club in LA. It could be because of his trashed rental, his car accident, or a civil claim related to his criminal charges.
“Solid look, bruh!”
Finally, in this-will-end-well news, Ohio State announced all home games will now have stadium-wide beer sales. Hilariously, it’s rationalization is to allow OSU to create two new positions in the OSU police department, with any surplus revenue going towards studying alcohol & drug misuse…oh, and to athletics.
Politics:
- Shockingly, Obama endorses Clinton.
End of special report.
Well, I guess it’s a series.
I watched the first quarter, and the NBA at least accomplished this: the Warriors starting that game THAT BADLY ensured more people would either tune in or keep watching until well into the 4th quarter, because precedent promised Golden State would mount some sort of comeback. The closest I saw was 9 points; feel free to correct me. Finishing down 30 brought back memories of scores from each side of the Conference Finals.
Speaking of series, tonight you might get to drink one down for WCS if his beloved Penguins pull off their first home Cup win. (All three previous Cups were clinched on the road – Minnesota; Chicago; Detroit) If that happens, we probably won’t hear from him for a week, and his little girl’s birth certificate might have her birth name whited-out and replaced with “Sidney Murray”. (BTW: “Rust LeTang”, which first popped into my head, would make a great punk band name.) If that does happen, make sure to also pour one out for Covalent Blonde, as this sultry siren of the sidelines will have to wait once again for next year for her beloved Sharks. At least she still has the Warriors…
Tonight’s possibly championship hoisting events:
NHL: Sharks @ Penguins – 8:00 (Game 5; Pens up 3-1)
Copa:
- Uruguay vs Venezuela – 7:30 – Lincoln Financial Field, Philadelphia
- Mexico vs Jamica – 10:00 – the Rose Bowl, Pasedena
Finally, look at this bird
That’s a seagull, and what happens when you dumpster dive behind an Indian food preparation plant, Tikka Masala specifically. Or, does it explain Trump’s magnetic glow & magnificent plumage…
HE LOVES INDIAN FOOD!
I can’t imagine anything more boring than the Sharks offense.
Dumbasses.
Where is the lesser footy game?
FS1. Uruguay OUT!!!!
Assuming Mexico takes a point off Jamaica or Venezuela. So…LMAO
Just finished. Don T must surely be drunk by now.
Mexico/Jamaica will be on same Bat Channel around the end of 2nd third of ice footbaw.
No call.
You could replace NHL refs with orangutans on skates and they’d call a better game.
And I thought they wanted more scoring in hockey, yet they call nothing in the playoffs and even less in the finals.
What they really want is Game 6, Game 7 if at all possible.
yeah i’m drunk now
Show off.
Almost had an empty net goal in Lesser Footy!!!
I live for empty net goals.
Why do people like Mike Emrick?
As long as I live I will never understand this.
It’s a mystery to me. I find him aggravating as hell.
Sorry what channel is the hockey on
Real NBC
Cavani breaks WIDE ASS OPEN…and MISSES the net.
Capri Cavanni never did anal during her career.
ppl forget that?
/ppl NEVAR forget that
Nobody remembers her.
… because no anal
Agreed. I totally didn’t know exactly who you were talking about.
/totally knew exactly who you were talking about
//doesn’t think she’s been forgotten
///might be biased because…hasn’t forgotten her.
This a pretty great Lesser Footy match.
At least this next Star Trek film won’t be another thinly-disguised JJ Abrams Star Wars audition reel.
It will be a thinly-disguised Justin Lin Star Wars audition reel.
Oh good. Another Star Trek movie I can hate.
The biter currently having a tantrum on the sidelines because he didn’t know (or didn’t understand) that he wasn’t on the “active” list of available subs for the match. PRICELESS.
No idea what you’re talking about. But an alleged adult having a tantrum on live TV is always a favorite.
Teh Ice Stillers just have ice footbaw equivalent of the “shy Tory” effect. They are embarrassed to win teh Cup at home.
In Oz they call that “Tall Poppy” syndrome.
Has someone checked in on Don T? I’m getting worried about him….
I’m sure Philly will be sympathetic to the sad Uruguayans.
Well… that was… uh, interesting?
Overheard on the NBC broad cast:
“…Malkin good on defense…”
“…Kessel off to the races…”
Have they ever watched this Pittsburgh team before?
Uruguay dive allows Venezuela breakaway on the counter…but they blow it. Still 1-nil
An uncalled Too Many Men on the Ice penalty against the Penguins in a Stanley Cup Finals Game? Never seen that before…
I was gonna insert the Flight of the Conchords “To Many Dicks on the Dance Floor” but embedding was disabled. FUCKING BULLSHIT.
Being unfamiliar with the song but familiar with FotC, I can’t be entirely sure that “To” is just a harmless typo and not the real title of the song, addressed to all the men named Richard who are currently dancing.
Here’s an unembedded link, like a common plebian. It involves Dave, which makes it must-see material in its own right.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Wl_uQOABxg
On a separate note, I would love one of his “mouse fucking another mouse, caught in a mousetrap” shirts, even if’n I’m wary of his “chicks LOVE it” assurances.
Who you calling plebian, you cracker ass?
Directed by Michel Gondry?!?!
I would fucking love FOAR this to be like 8-8 after regulation, then go into 7 OTs
Someone got a nap in apparently. Rested Hippoz on the loose!!!!
FUCK YES. I was up at 5am for high school graduation, napped 2-6
http://memesvault.com/wp-content/uploads/Nope-Meme-Gif-02.gif
Meanwhile, I’m interviewing with a retail company tomorrow. Sweet sweet retail.
Gotta do what you gotta do. No shame in that and kudos to you for doing it.
But yeah, retail isn’t fun.
All the more reason to toast you, Sir!!!!
Huzzah!
Meanwhile, my 1L protege just got sworn in to be a practicing student deputy DA. So it’s all good.
But you’re right. No shame in retail.
I didn’t mean retail specifically.
I was more referring to your personal resolution to keep going forward in spite of probably not really feeling like it. Not everyone has that quality. I admire it in people.
Thanks
Hot dog ads on radio and teevee simultaneously.
It’s gotta be an omen:
http://cdn1.bloguin.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/26/2015/09/Hot95Dog9501.gif
I will never upon first look not read that watermark as “ThePenisBlog.”
We all have our demons…
Is this hoc-key game crazy? Because it seems crazy.
Well, this was unexpected
Jeebus…shit’s getting absurd now.
If the NFL Draft is the sport’s version of an orgy, the MLB Draft is the sport’s version of 7th grade sexual education.
In Saudi Arabia.
Just a few years ago, the MLB Rule 4 draft was just one giant conference call, which is the equivalent of your junk rubbing against your jeans.
http://mugs.mugbug.co.uk/500/MB/i-love-frottage-mug.550a985291ddc.jpg
OH OH OH
Finally seeing legal jobs being posted. It’s like Christmas for idiots like me.
WDVE radio call is about 3 seconds ahead of NBC teevee.
KTCK radio call is a minute BEHIND the tv, smdh.
In the owner’s box, Super Mario be all like “FINALLY, some Ice Footbaw that I can recognize as such ,, smgdh”
what is happening
i don’t understand
This Martin Jones, I call him the Tacoma Narrows Bridge because he is getting destroyed by deflections.
WALL-O-GIFS!!!!!1!!
Jesus CHRIST
OK, who passed out the Meth in the SJ and Pitt dressing rooms tonight?
What the righteous fuck?
Quite a bit of scoring before first TV timeout, eh?
http://www.naturalhistorymag.com/sites/default/files/imagecache/medium/media/2009/07/white_shark_jpg_18101.jpg
Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd it’s over before it started.
Nice work, guys.
Bad feeling just got WAY worse.
How hard is it to START THE FUCKING GAME ON TIME?! Or at least give us the real start time, it’s not like they don’t already have 3 hours of bullshit pregame coverage.
GOOOOOAAAAAALLLLLL
This holds up, Mexico will need JUAN POINT from last two games to send the biter home without taking his warmups off.
Sup, shitdicks?
http://1.cdn.nhle.com/penguins/images/upload/2016/03/NHL_2016_StanleyCupPlayoffs_PIT_02-2_GOLD.png
Tell yer mom to do a better job cleaning up back there.
http://cdn.someecards.com/someecards/usercards/1335599055836_9095718.png
Here’s the Bouncing Souls take on the Olé, Olé, Olé chant:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1JtDntuLGQQ
If this doesn’t make you want to run through a brick wall I don’t know what will.
Go Venezuela y Mexico y Ice Stillers WOO
Venezuela y Mexico, AKA the Oilers
While I’m no fan of Hillary Clinton, her opening salvo against Trump makes me giddy. Her takedown of him in the coming months is going to be brutal and delicious.
He’s going to bail by the end of the month.
Washing down my beers with some Bowmore 12. It’s a good scotch, I think!
Yet another of the many, many differences between Pittsburgh and Morgantown:
“Public Works crews began going to various parts of the city Wednesday to enforce a little-known ordinance in advance of the Penguins potentially winning the Stanley Cup Thursday night at Consol Energy Center.
Guy Costa, the city’s chief of operations, said crews are removing couches from front porches, collecting abandoned furniture and emptying trash containers before Game 5 of the Stanley Cup Final against the San Jose Sharks.
‘The less fuel that’s out there, the better off we will be,’ he said. The city even plans to empty or lock newspaper boxes so revelers will have less fuel to set on fire.”
Trump has promptly responded with “I love the Masalas. Some of my best friends are Masalas!”
Mmmm…masala…
http://foodalways.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/9-1.jpg
Yessir – that’s good eatin’.
Continuing on with our “Ken Ham Is A Lunatic” series, here we have a man as three cats yet the all of the same one cat God’s Chosen Cat Creationist Cat pointing out what a fucking inconsistent idiot the man is and has always been:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AWzFwPgvlsw
It should not surprise you that Ken Ham has an opinion on the Harambe shooting nor should it surprise you that it has mostly to do with sin.
It’s a shame Ben Roethlisberger is such a shitty person.
Oh well.
OH MY GOD BEER YOU ARE SO GOOD AND I HAVE MISSED YOU SO MUCH
Currently taking a bit of a hiatus meself, truth be told.
It can be healthy. And annoying.
Been a week today. After the first day or two when the “habit” got broken, haven’t even missed it really.
When I do this, I find I always miss it in the way you miss a favorite food or a TV show that’s in its offseason. Fortunately, I never find it difficult not to have a beer, which is one of the things I do this every year to make sure of.
Honestly, I’m not normally a big drinker. But I’ve been on a tear in the recent past (period of months I suppose). When I realized I couldn’t remember the last day I didn’t have a drink, and that most of those days it was multiples, figured it was time to behave for a little while just to make sure.
What did you break the seal with?
Stone Enjoy By 07.04.2016 IPA. There’s nothing like almost forgetting what beer tastes like and coming back to a massive glass of hops.
I’ve finished and moved on to the excellent local Oasis Lake Monster #4, a big, roasty, and goddamned excellent export-style stout.
My (current) favorite IPA. Welcome back to the fold, good sir.
At first I thought you meant me,
http://i53.photobucket.com/albums/g77/Nyephistra/Gifs/Hatter-Crying.gif
But then I remembered.
http://66.media.tumblr.com/9db1a211a5a53ef60d282118de62a56f/tumblr_inline_ml65kr9P7X1qz4rgp.gif
YOU ARE ALSO SO GOOD
Don’t lie to the poor boy.