We are getting ever closer to the end of the regular (home and away) season with only 5 games left for each team. It’s getting close to

Welcome to Balls of Steel’s AFL Beat!

We start off with Australian Friday Night Footy (Friday morning for us in North America) and a crucial match for the finals hopes of everyone from Place 9 to 12 as the Collingwood Magpies were looking to continue the North Melbourne Kangaroos’ misery and get the rest of the pack closer to a finals spot.  Well, it didn’t happen this week, as the Roos jumped all over the Pies and won by 40, but it could happen in a few weeks.  I’ll point it out later, but the run home for the Roos is brutal. In the meantime, they can enjoy this win and some of the great things they did.  Like this cool curling goal:

and this candidate for Mark of the Year:

You think the Pies were saying “Daw, horsefeathers!”?  Ok, I’m sorry.  Here is some real comedy from professionals:

Is it me or does Cookie Monster sound more and more like Triumph?

I am including this highlight just for the title alone:

On proper Friday night, there were five games on tap with the Sydney Swans hosting the Carlton Blues in the first.  While this was expected to be a blowout, the Blues played the Swans tough and actually led at the half!  Sydney, however, came back in the second half and then just barely hung on for a 6 point win. Here is an example of the Blues playing well:

even on defence:

but yet Buddy Franklin and the Swans could not be held off:

For that, you get a cookie!

Yes, I will be including this video in the Official DFO Guide to Cunnilingus.

The next game was the first of the two matchups this Round of bottom-dwelling teams.  Fremantle traveled to the other side of the country to take on Gold Coast at Metricon stadium. The home field advantage worked to perfection as the Dockers couldn’t handle the trip and fell to the Suns by 24.  There was this nice goal from an extreme angle for the Dockers,

but the Suns were too much on this day

You think the NFL would ever do gun puns like that?   I don’t think so!  Almost simultaneously, the West Coast Eagles were hosting the Melbourne Demons.  This was a crazy game that, by all rights, the Demons should have won.  Somehow, some way, the Demons pulled a defeat out of victory and gave the Eagles the home win. Heck, even the Eagles’ coach said they shouldn’t have won! Here is an example of Melbourne’s strong start:

I’ve been told I have smooth moves in the wet.  Just saying that I could have played AFL.  Just sayin’.

Here is an example of the type of luck the Eagles had that ultimately doomed the Demons:

I think Cookie Monster has a great idea on how that type of lucky bounce could be avoided:

The two late late games were absolute thrillers.  One had St. Kilda taking on the Western Bulldogs at the Etihad, where they are quite comfortable, and the other had the Adelaide Crows visiting the Geelong Cats at Simonds stadium where they’re not.  In fact, the Crows have not won there since 2003.  Yes, I said “have” because the Cats won for the second time this season against the Crows by 30.  In the other game, the Saints took the game to the Bulldogs and came out with a surprising but welcome 15 point victory.  Things went from bad to worse as the Doggies suffered horrific injuries to two key players.

There were plenty of highlights to be had:

Have I mentioned that I like Cam Guthrie?

Ok, back to the highlights:

The Saints did good stuff too.  Unfortunately, the AFL YouTube page doesn’t have any Saints highlights and I really don’t want to show you the horrific injuries, so let’s instead go with another Cookie Monster clip that will prove to be a perfect segue to discussing the Hawthorn game from Saturday night:

Yeah, I’m sorry, Cookie, but ain’t no one beating Hawthorn.  Certainly not Richmond on Saturday night in North America.  They went down meekly to the Hawks after keeping things close in the first quarter. Cyril “Figgis” Rioli was the star of the game for the Hawks:

Earlier, the Battle for the Wooden Spoon was won (lost?) by Brisbane as they handily beat the Bombers at the Etihad. It was said that if the Lions lost this game, the coach would lose his job, so maybe the players really do like their coach?  In any case, it looks like the Bombers are the clear favorites for the Wooden Spoon now.   To their credit, the Lions played well

but, as you can see here, it’s not like they were facing a really good team:

In the last game of the Round, the Port Adelaide Power hosted the GWS Giants in a game with YUUUUGE finals implications.  The Power’s reputation for consistently being the most inconsistent team in the competition again rang true as they first took a 20 point lead only to give it up and end up losing by 19.  I think this leaves St. Kilda as the only team outside the eight with a realistic shot at the finals, but with the Power, you never know.  Have I mentioned that I LOVE LOVE LOVE alliteration?

Let’s take a look at the ladder, shall we?

The Saints are two games back of the Roos and face them this week in Round 19.  Talk about a perfect opportunity!  Here is the full Round 19 schedule (all times Pacific):

Friday July 29

Geelong v Western Bulldogs at Simonds Stadium (2.50 AM) LIVE on Fox Soccer Plus

GWS Giants v Richmond at StarTrack Oval (8.45pm) LIVE on Fox Soccer Plus

Hawthorn v Carlton at Aurora Stadium (9.10pm) LIVE on TSN2!

Collingwood v West Coast Eagles at MCG (11.35pm) LIVE on Fox Soccer Plus

Saturday July 30

Brisbane Lions v Port Adelaide at Gabba (2.25 AM)

North Melbourne v St Kilda at Etihad Stadium (2.25 AM) LIVE on Fox Sports 1!

Melbourne v Gold Coast Suns at MCG (8.10pm)

Fremantle v Sydney Swans at Subiaco Oval (10.20pm) LIVE on Fox Sports 2!

Adelaide v Essendon at Adelaide Oval (11.40pm)

The Saints-Roos game has the most direct finals implications, but Cats-Doggies should also go a long way towards determining who gets top four and maybe top two if the Cats win.

Let’s check in our Footy Tipping Contest:

Congratulations to BFC and Zymm for another stellar week in picking games!  The gap has definitely shortened and the pack has tightened.  Zymm has overtaken SoS and has her sights on WEW.  Well done, everyone!

I mentioned this earlier, but I want to reiterate to everyone how difficult the Kangaroos’ schedule is going forward:

Rd 19: St Kilda (Etihad Stadium)
Rd 20: Western Bulldogs (Etihad Stadium)
Rd 21: Hawthorn (MCG)
Rd 22: Sydney Swans (Blundstone Arena)
Rd 23: GWS (Etihad Stadium)

That’s four top eight sides and the nearest contender for the eight.  As long as the Saints can keep winning, they’ve got a real shot.  Here is their schedule:

Rd 19: North Melbourne (Etihad Stadium)
Rd 20: Carlton (MCG)
Rd 21: Sydney Swans (Etihad Stadium)
Rd 22: Richmond (MCG)
Rd 23: Brisbane Lions (Etihad Stadium)

The Swans game will be tough to win, but the others are winnable.  Can the Saints sneak into the Eight?  It all starts with this week’s clash against the Roos.   This is going to be fun to watch!  See you next week!