Your “TMZ-Style!” Tuesday Open Thread

OFF THE TOP!

• SIGNED! The Homey Badger stays home for 5 years and $62.5 million.
• WAIVED! Trent Richardson is GONE from Ravens camp.
  • Where do you go when both the  Browns and Colts have said no? Sources suspect – the CFL.
• BEST OPTION! The Chargers signed James Jones Tuesday, to fill in while Stevie Johnson recuperates.
• HURT! Bengals rookie William Jackson suffers a torn pec.
• WOUNDED! ODB banged legs with another Giant in practice, resulting in some swelling.
• CONSPIRACY TO COMMIT MURDER! Mike Mularkey says he wants to give Marcus Mariota “more chances to run the ball”.
• HILARIOUS! When the Browns visit Washington this year, the player featured on the gameday ticket is Kirk Cousins.

  

• CAN’T CATCH WHAT YOU CAN’T SEE! Someone asked Jim Caldwell about Pokemon Go. That went about as well as expected for an old man.

FINALLY, GOOD NEWS! Inspirational story Devon Still is still on the Texans squad and taking first team reps. While he’d be the last person to want to benefit from someone else’s misery, it had to be good for his chances when JJ Watt went under the knife.

If you have a daughter and want to be scared shitless of sending them off to a university with a football program, have a read at this transcript of a presentation to the Texas District & County Attorneys Association. It’s about how both Baylor & Boise State did everything legally short of obstruction to avoid involvement in the prosecution of Sam Ukwauchu for sexual assault. It’s not Notre-Dame-caused-a-girl-to-commit-suicide bad, but it’s a pretty damning indictment of how far football programs will go to avoid responsibility, and how much victim-blaming (or “slut shaming”, if you prefer the vernacular) still pervades our culture and the culture of college campuses.

Tonight’s sports:

• MLB: Cardinals at Reds – 7:00 (FS1)
• WWE: Smackdown Live! – 8:00 (USA)
• 30 for 30: “The U” – ESPNU
  • Part 1 – 7:00-9:00
  • Part 2 – 10:00-12:00

Today’s write up is a bit short because I’m taking my elderly neighbour to see “The Secret Life of Pets”. His grandchildren were talking about it over the weekend, but no one thought to take him. It’s half-price Tuesday, so he won’t complain if I take him and pay. DISCOUNT ALTRUISM!