Your Sexy Monkey, Gif-Crazy, Preseason Football And Other Assorted Shenanigans Open Thread

What a week, huh? So many highs and lows. And the in-betweens! [nudges non-existent buddy with elbow] Don’t get me started! I’m thinking that all you folks out there are simply scanning these words as you hold your snifter of Amaretto and saying, “Geez, Get this crap over with, get to the games and then shut your hole”. Well I can take a hint. TO THE GAMES!

Pats/Panthers-This should be the best game of the soir. Carolina is trying to figure out which ragamuffins are going to play behind rb’s Stewart and Tolbert. Fozzy “Wokka, Wokka, Wokka” Whitaker, Cameron Artis-Payne and Brandon Wegher get to show their wares against the Pats top 10-ranked rush D. As far as the passing game is concerned the Panthers seem set at qb and wr Ted Ginn Jr. will prove to all those doubters that last year was indeed an “outlier” year for him.

Will Sir Tom of Brady play? Reports indicate that he’s traveling with the team but why wouldn’t he? No one outside Greater (HAH!) New England gives a rat’s ass. The Pats traded for the Browns lb/de Mingo, thus strengthening an already dominant unit. [sighs]

Bills/Redacteds-Rob Ryan’s prodigious belly travels to the nation’s capital to sample some food trucks. By this I mean he’ll be licking various windshields after the peyote kicks in. He’s such a character! I am curious to see how his D- (phrasing!) fensive backfield of Gilmore, (a rising star) Darby and others handles the likes of wr’s Jackson/Garcon and te Reed.

Browns/Bucs-Josh “Gosh, how long ’til he gets suspended again?” Gordon should be on the field tonight. Will the Cleveland O be sneaky good this year? The possibility exists. Some of that “Big If” is dependent on te Barnidge duplicating his very not Barnidge-like stats from last year. Like I said, “Big If”. Will wr Evans lead the league in drops again this year? I’ve got a ton of faith/money laid on Ted Ginn (and tonic, RIGHT BOOMER?) bobbling the title away from Mr. Evans.

Steelers/Saints-I’d forgotten that lb. Laurinaitis had been signed by New Orleans. They do need all the help they can get, don’t they? [looks at team stats, sees that they were  middle of the pack in a number of categories] Hmmm…actually they didn’t stink up the joint nearly as bad as when the Wolfman was at the helm. WEIRD!

Huh. It was the Steelers that had the 30th ranked pass D last year. It’s time to hitch up them britches Allen, Allen, Mitchell and Gay. This backfield should call themselves “The Lawyers of Milloy”.

Packers/49ers-This is your one and only chance to see the likes of qb Rodgers, de Peppers, lb Matthews, cb Shields and the like. Are all those guys over 30? Seems like it. That sound you heard was a window slowly closing. I came across someone yakking that San Fran players shouldn’t be overlooked fantasy-wise because Chirp Kelly O’s create huge volumes of plays no matter how lousy they are. Lots of plays mean tons of opportunities for the likes of Hyde, Ellington and Smith. Using this logic it seems that they will surpass their projected numbers. Me? I’m not sure.

Okay, I’m off to man the grill for my son’s birthday. I’ll be with you guys in spirit(s).

 

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King Hippo

Rapey Jameis to Evans FOAR auction squadron? Hmmmm

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus
Spur

I think the Fragile is the shit. I play that shit on the office Sonos LOUD in the morning. FUCK YOU Angela! I will play “my music” before 7am.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You may want to venture back a page or so…..

Spur

Dazed And Confused , great film or greatest film?

I wish it never ended.

Spur

Evening

JustStopDude

So for 50 hours next week, I have to give training to a group of people from a steel mill. Its actually insanely depressing because its a crappy steel mill just barely hanging on and the equipment we are installing may…just may…allow them to make enough money to stay open for another 2 or 3 years.

Its an old ass site in the Northeast which should have been shutdown years ago except the mill is such a toxic waste site, no one wants to face the fact this is a massive superfund site and everyone is going to be out of work.

Interesting about the town…for three years it had more fires per capita than Detroit. At its high point, the mill had 3 shits, 10k a piece, working each day. Its now down to 120 workers.

Unsurprised

Wow. An honest to God factory of sadness.

Shogun Marcus

Good lord factory…just pack it up and forfeit the year. Move the jobs, I doubt the city would notice.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh Reilly.
I mean who is this obviously wholesome young lady?…yeah.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Holesome. She is good at her job and the hula-hoop.

theeWeeBabySeamus

It helps when one loves what they do for a living.

Kungjitsu

[clears browser history just to be safe]

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
JustStopDude

Believe….

https://youtu.be/XUa7_alnrIw

Just….believe…..

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

Figures. I went to the other Costco and it didn’t have that Fat Tire & Friends variety pack of ales. So I may just have to get a sixer of something for now at TJ’s when I go shopping.

God Almighty, it’s nice to have even a little money again.

Unsurprised

I hate how effortlessly beautiful she is.

Redshirt

Tonight I’m having Tombstone Pizza and DiGiorno Pizza because why the hell not?

http://media1.giphy.com/media/2LqQkIPKNevkc/giphy.gif

Spanky Datass

SPLOOSH!

herodotus450

They put tile over a perfectly good rock floor?

JustStopDude
litre_cola

It is Ribs and Beer fest tonight here. It would never compare to yours south of the border, but RIBS!!!!! I am going to channel Ex Eagle Andy Reid.

JustStopDude

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JustStopDude
Unsurprised

Doc Zymm’s Washington Football Team preview was excellent.

JustStopDude
Unsurprised

I bet she’s popular

litre_cola

Due to the LPGA tour being here this weekend, I have it on in the background. These women are all over 18 right? Don’t want to be a gymnast Jared.

Unsurprised

They are

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

If there is grass on the fairway……..

Unsurprised

FULL-LENGTH YOTUBE URLS ONLY

Thank you. This has been a PSA.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

HOLD ON TO YOUR BUTTS! IT’S FUCKING SEXY FRIDAY!!

*use both hands.

JustStopDude
Unsurprised

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Unsurprised

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Unsurprised

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litre_cola

Did Scotchy just give us carte blanche and leave no adults in the building?

Beastmode Ate My Baby
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
litre_cola

The Missus is away, I left work early and am already tipsy and stonesdy! I am celebrating National Dog Day, the pug gets none of my wine though.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
litre_cola

Used something like this in Bratislava. When pints of delicious beer are a dollar, these are needed. Great city,

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Bratislava? I’ve heard that’s…

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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