Sunday Gravy with yeah right – Season Finale (?) – If You Want Gravy, You’ve Got It! Biscuits and Gravy

laserguru

laserguru

yeah right is a lifelong Vikings fan. He is into self denial and still harbors hope. Loves to cook, read and drink. But he doesn’t plate.
laserguru

Before we get started I have a couple of quick announcements: This is the final call to join the NFL.com Survivor League. Here’s the link. If for some reason the link doesn’t work the group name is DFO Crack Suicide Squad and the PW is football. Creative! There will be an assortment of glorious prizes for the winner.

Second big announcement! We are going to be having the first ever DFO-CON in Las Vegas!

Welcome_to_Las_Vegas_sign

On a glorious NFL weekend yet! December 3rd and 4th are the primary dates although we have some members arriving sooner and some staying later. The primary area of the gathering is going to be on the south end of the Strip around the 3 M’s, Monte Carlo, MGM and Mandalay Bay. I will be in attendance to offer cooking tips, blackjack advice and strip club etiquette. Will there be strippers and machine guns involved? MAYBE! We have several DFO dignitaries and writers already booked for the event – I will let them out themselves in the comment section. C’mon man! You have three fucking months to make this happen. You know you want some hot Vegas NFL action, especially in December when you can escape your frozen climes for some sweet desert fun. Let’s do this! If you need some ideas or hotel suggestions let me know. I know this fucking town very well.

OK then.

Welcome back to Sunday Gravy for the season finale. I put the question mark out there because if the Vikings season goes downhill fast – like it very well could – I may get back in the kitchen to avoid the further depression.

Get well soon, Teddy!

For the newer readers, Sunday Gravy runs during the NFL offseason, much like the DFO Request Line. As we are NFL-centric, I step back and let the open threads take over during the games. Not to mention that I would rather watch the games than hang out in the kitchen during the season. So the hiatus is necessary. But FEAR NOT! Sunday Gravy will return! The time off during the season also gives me time to think up new recipe ideas and run them through the yeah right test kitchen so that I only bring you the top of the line recipes! You won’t be cheated this way.

Now back to this one.

Special thanks to Old School Zero for filling in spectacularly last week with an amazing collection of pie recipes. My piehole has never been more pleased! And lest you should think that I took the week off from cooking Sunday Gravy just because OSZ handled the blog post, think again!

meatloaf!

That right there is some homemade balsalmic glazed meatloaf, mashed potatoes, peas and a very special mushroom onion gravy. I didn’t post this because I’ve done meatloaf before and I don’t want to give you duplicate recipes if I can help it. Holy good goddamn was it delicious though.

But I digress.

I wanted to end this season with a no-nonsense, guaranteed to satisfy, real authentic goddamn gravy.

Today we are going to make some homemade biscuits and sausage gravy.

Wipe that drool off of your chin! It’s not dignified!

I’m also going to give you my favorite breakfast potato recipe and a tip for scrambling eggs. We’ve got some motherfucking knowledge to drop!

It was our own fearless leader Darkest Timeline Zach Morris who made a casual mention that having breakfast for dinner is all kinds of awesome, and he is right! I think it’s the one time when you can have a beer with your breakfast guilt free but some of the rest of you may disagree with that sentiment. We’ve done the breakfast for dinner thing here before, remember the homemade corned beef hash? Yep, breakfast for dinner.

My own dear sweet Ma taught me the sausage gravy recipe way the fuck back in the day and I still use it. Everyone on the planet loves biscuits and gravy. This is a proven fact. It’s pretty hilarious to do a recipe search for biscuits and gravy because a good two thirds of them give you a gravy recipe and then use store bought biscuits. you know from that fucking rolled up can dealie?

Grands-Flaky-Biscuits-Coupon

Will we be doing the same today?

FUCK NO! Make your own damn biscuits! You will become a hero in your household when you learn to make a proper biscuit.

Do I make a proper biscuit? Honestly? Not always. I’m telling true here, I bat around .660 with my biscuits. I’ve made some heavenly, transcendent biscuits before and I’ve made some biscuits that make you say “What the fuck happened?”

The recipe that I used for this fell into the “What the fuck happened” realm but I have learned how to fix, adjust, adapt and overcome with my biscuits. The end result of this batch of biscuits was a solid 8.5 out of 10 and I’m kind of OK with that.

Biscuits!

Wanting to try a new recipe, I found this one at the NY Times website. I was intrigued enough to give it a go.

2 cups all purpose flour

2 tablespoons of baking powder

1 teaspoon of sugar

1 teaspoon of salt

5 tablespoons of COLD quality butter cut into small pieces – I did indeed use European style butter, it has a higher butterfat content

Milk. Here’s the thing, their recipe calls for 1 cup of whole milk. This was TOO MUCH MILK DAMN YOU! It should be about 3/4 cups of whole milk. Whole milk is key. I drink 1% milk but I cook with whole milk. Big difference in the results.

Mix together all of the dry ingredients, add in the butter and if you have a food processor give it about 5-6 pulses until the butter is incorporated and the flour looks like small pea size. You can also use a fork or a pastry cutter to add in the butter. Remove to a floured surface, add in the milk and combine to make a dough.

roll that dough

Cover with a kitchen towel and let rest, anywhere from 10 to 30 minutes. After the time was up I noticed that the dough I made that had a full cup (goddammit) of milk instead of the 3/4 cup of milk was too wet. Way too fucking wet. As I’ve mentioned before, shit happens in the kitchen. The adept cook knows how to deal with these things and adapt accordingly. Realizing that there was no way I could cut out some lovely circular biscuits that would have made for a lovely photo op, instead I dropped back and punted. After adding in another half cup or so of flour and remixing, delicately mind you, try not to over mix, I made drop biscuits instead.

drop biscuits

If your dough was the right consistency you would cut the biscuits out using a round cookie cutter or a floured glass then place the biscuits of a baking sheet and cook in a 425 degree oven for about 12-15 minutes until brown. The drop biscuits do the same but may need an extra few minutes to cook. Let’s say 15-17 minutes. When done cut into squares and they are perfectly delicious, just not round. I actually make drop biscuits when I make the family cornbread dressing so this was an easy adaptation.

Now timing is tricky when you are doing this entire meal because you will be cooking many, many things at the same time. My key was to have the biscuits, gravy and eggs served as warm as possible you can keep the other items warm while finishing up with these. Next thing to get started are:

yeah right’s favorite breakfast potato

1 potato per person cut into fairly thick slices, probably just shy of 1/2″ each.

Onion – rough chopped

Salt and pepper to taste

Paprika, cayenne, thyme to taste, maybe a 1/4 teaspoon of each, or just use a sprinkling of some homemade “essence.” We’ve had the “essence” discussion before. Please note that the linked recipe makes for a shitload of Essence that can be stored in your cupboard for months. Please don’t be a dumbass, like some of the reviewers and use it all at once.

Butter and oil for cooking. I use equal amounts of each. Say 1 tablespoon of each but it may vary depending on the amount of potatoes you are cooking.

Preheat a skillet over a medium heat and add in the potato and the onion and season as you would like.

potatoes just started

These are not a fast prepared potato. They are going to take about 25 minutes or even more to prepare. Turn them over with a spatula after 12-15 minutes. You don’t want the center of them too raw and they should cook to a nice golden brown.

potatoes browned

I don’t even know what the fuck to call these things. Home fries? Cottage fries? Motherfucking goddamn fried potato slices? Whatever, they are fucking delicious and go amazingly well with some bacon and a couple of fried eggs on top. Oh shit yes. I ended up needing 2 pans to cook these because I was cooking for three people and everyone loves these things. They’re tender, soft on the inside with an oniony bite and a little kick from the cayenne. Oh my.

Next thing, let’s get that gravy going.

Sausage gravy.

1 roll or 1 pound of ground breakfast sausage. Yep, you guessed it.

Jimmy Dean WD

If you can find the sage variety use it. I tend to use the regular sausage since the sage kind is hard to find and I would rather use regular instead of hot but fuck it, it’s your gravy.

2-3 cups of WHOLE milk.

1/3 cup of flour

1/4 teaspoon of cayenne – says the guy who used regular instead of hot sausage.

1/4 teaspoon of NUTMEG

1/4 teaspoon of sage – if you can’t find the sage style sausage.

Salt and pepper to taste.

Tear some of that sausage into chunks and bits and get it browning over a medium heat in a deep skillet or dutch oven. Go ahead and use all of it or if you want to save some to cook some sausage patties, knock yourself right the fuck out and make it fucking so.

everything is cooking

You will notice that I’ve got about every goddamn skillet in the house going at this point. Sausage browning on the left, bacon sizzling just above it and two pans of potatoes. You can do this. If the potatoes finish first that’s cool. Pile them all into the same pan, cover with a lid and let them stay warm until everything else is done. Back to the gravy.

When the sausage has browned add in the 1/3 cup of flour. Do we drain the sausage fat from the pan first?

FUCK NO!!!

Stir the sausage and flour and cook for a few minutes to cook out the floury taste. Next add in the milk. Start with about 2 1/2 cups and reserve some in case the sausage gravy thickens too tight. Season with all of the spices and bring to a slow gentle boil. About 15 minutes or so. Don’t heat it too fast or it could scorch. Take your time and build it right.

sausage gravy

The trick is to start with less milk than you need and add it as required. You want to avoid adding additional flour if the gravy is too thin. Technically you could but it brings back that floury taste that we are trying to avoid. Cook to the proper gravy consistency and get ready to party.

I also made some scrambled eggs. I’m not here to tell you how to cook scrambled eggs but I would like to make a suggestion. The key to an amazing scrambled egg is not to be in a race to cook it. I’m of the opinion that a good pan of  scrambled eggs should take at least 5-7 minutes to cook. I know I know. If you are happy with the way you make your eggs I ain’t gonna fuck with you but I will tell you if you cook them over a very low heat, while stirring pretty constantly to get a slightly soft, fluffy batch of eggs you will notice a huge difference. Fast cooked eggs over a high heat tend to be a little more rubbery and rubbery is bullshit for scrambled eggs. Soft, light and fluffy is what we are looking for. I also add a sprinkle of some black truffle salt to finish because I have some in my cabinet and why the fuck not if it’s there.

Let’s build this completely amazing, utterly appallingly unhealthy and cholesterol filled plate of deliciousness shall we?

Yes let’s!

Get some of those potatoes down as a base for the plate. Cut a couple of biscuit squares and place them on the plate next. Top the biscuits with the sausage gravy. Oh will you look at that? Some of the gravy got on the potatoes too. Damn the luck. Toss on your bacon or sausage patties if you made them and finally top with the scrambled eggs.

biscuits and gravy money shot

God.

Damn.

There’s no real point in making a pretty plate here because this motherfucker is going to be gone in about 3 minutes tops. For some reason I’ve noticed that I consume breakfast much faster than any other type of meal. You just want to grab a small shovel or just use your fucking hands and piledrive this shit right into your face.

And you know what?

Beer goes famously with this stuff.

The sausage gravy has that sage hint, also a porky rich deliciousness that compliments the fluffy homemade biscuits just perfectly. The potatoes bring a very slight heat from the cayenne but are rich and succulent along with the soft fluffy eggs. Some bacon or a sausage patty alongside makes this just an over the top indulgent meal. You are going to eat this, you will go back to see if there’s more and you will be ready for a fucking nap about 15 minutes after dinner is over.

Feed some family or friends and recruit them to wash all of these fucking dishes. Win win!

And there we go!

Thanks to all of you for reading these over the past year or two and again, I promise to be back when possible to keep the Sunday Gravy train rolling.

Good luck to you during the upcoming NFL season. May all of your bets cover and may you dominate your fantasy league.

Cheers!

 

laserguru
laserguru
yeah right is a lifelong Vikings fan. He is into self denial and still harbors hope. Loves to cook, read and drink. But he doesn't plate.
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UnsurprisedballsofsteelandfurySenor WeaseloRomonobylThe Right Reverend Electric Mayhem Recent comment authors
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Senor Weaselo

Without clicking when is the deadline for the suicide league, as in will it be open tomorrow afternoon when I get home?

ballsofsteelandfury

I think you’re good as long as you do it before kickoff of the first game.

Romonobyl

And then there’s the other extreme, most hotel’s idea of a “hot breakfast”:
http://nerdapproved.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/04/bob-evans-sausage-gravy-dis-590×382.jpg

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show!
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show!

MMMMMM burnt ends with Carolina style sauce.

Romonobyl

Looks decidedly edible. My $0.02 is to make your own breakfast sausage for the gravy. Use ground pork (I grind my own using shoulder pieces packaged for carnitas) with sage, marjoram, salt, pepper and real maple syrup. Let it sit in the fridge for a day then make it into patties. You’ll never go back to store bought again.

Aww dammit…who am I kidding??? NACHO IS A COWBOY!!!! I REPEAT…NACHO IS A COWBOY!!!!!

The Dallas fanboy in me dreads the concept, but the entertainment value this will provide to DFO more than makes up for it. Shit just got weird, it’s good to be back.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Welcome back! Glad you made it.

Bloody Lethal
Bloody Lethal

Want to eat this badly, but also want to be lazy.

comment image

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

O/U on the number of people who do this at DFO Con

http://thumbnails116.imagebam.com/50295/425406502944940.jpg

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Umm…is “all of them” an over/under option?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

naturally

Spanky Datass
Spanky Datass

Damn I love me some breakfast.
Great job!

blackroseMD1

Biscuits and gravy is what my dad used to make us for breakfast when I was a kid and it’s what I make for my kids for breakfast when I have them on the weekends.

There’s not much better in this world than a perfectly done plate of biscuits and gravy.

blaxabbath

We FINALLY got the fucking kitchen done (well, to the point that I pretty much just told the contractor to stop fucking being at my house and I’ll just fix the rest of this shit) and the fiancee decided to go back on (and bring me) her diet for the wedding. So I’m not enjoying any fucking Sunday Gravyness. I’m “enjoying” fitgirl power bowls and fitgirl cheeses. Today’s breakfast was a Mcfitfun, which is fine but not at all enough food, and some coffee I managed to fuck up (probably because I was high/drunk/tired when I set the maker last night).

Did play an executive 9-hole this morning and played double-bogey golf though so that made me pretty happy for a guy who hasn’t played in 3+ years.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I am jealous even for an executive course.
Am also curious…this wouldn’t happen to have been in Mesa just north of the 60 and west side off Extension would it? Fiesta Lakes is the name. At one time I lived less than a mile from that one thus it was easy when I decided spur of the moment.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Just before I immigrated back east they’d even outfitted it for disc golf if that’s something you’re into (I’m not, but it seems to be a growing thing). Always bugged me to have to wait to tee off on a water hole while some guy tried to fish his disk out of a lake.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I also became good friends with the groundskeeper there and used to give him shit about his browns….ie, not overseeding with winter rye. Those damned greens looked horrible in winter, even out there.

blaxabbath

Nah — city muni (Palo Verde) is by my house so, you know, gotta play the home course.

Disc golf is a bit granola for me but a few courses are outfit for soccer golf now. I’ve been meaning to get a groupon and take a stab at it.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh damn…you way out west then. I’ve played that one, but it was probably 10 yrs ago. My favorite course was this one in Gilbert….right where Chandler (which is where I lived most of the time I was out there), Mesa and Gilbert all bump into one another.

http://kokopelligc.com/

blaxabbath

I’m in Uptown. Mesa is way out east.


American Dad – Mesa, AZ by KeeganLora

theeWeeBabySeamus

LMAO, fair enough. And even moar true for Chandler.
Can’t tell you how many times I got that puzzled look and said…”It’s southeast of Phoenix”.

Ah good times.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

comment image

Sharkbait

DFO con? Is there enough booze in Vegas to handle that?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

As for booze, you could do worse than pair breakfast with a nice cider. The other bottle I got at Costco was a Crispin Artisanal Reserve Honey Crisp cider and it is fantastic, but very sweet.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

On the scrambled eggs thing, where do you stand on adding milk whilst scrambling?

Spanky Datass
Spanky Datass

I use Mexican crema. It’s basically sour cream you can pour. Then whisk the hell out of the eggs/crema/salt/pepper and then into the pan.
http://www.caciqueinc.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/01/Crema-Mexicana-Agria.png

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Make sure you get the 16 oz sausage, not the 12 oz sausage.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Off to eat chili and watch movies I guess.
Have a good night fellers.

theeWeeBabySeamus

So I did the tooth fairy thing tonight.
Not only do I now have my niece’s nasty ass tooth, but I’m five buck.
Fucking inflation, man….I don’t remember ever getting any folding moneh.
Damn kids….get off my lawn.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Dammit…
*out five bucks

*sigh*

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

You got hornswoggled, my friend. Standard rate in Sister Mayhem’s house is a dollar, which seems about what our other reproductively active friends do.

I believe tooth inflation should be pegged to the price of a decent candy bar. In my youth, a quarter could open the whole candy aisle as possibilities. Now, a dollar seems to be about right

theeWeeBabySeamus

The going rate was “suggested” to me. As I said, this is my niece, and even though I keep her a lot (her home life is….questionable….at times), this was the first tooth which when on hiatus on my watch.

da Fuq do I know, right? I went out of my way not to have kids of my own, now I’m raising my second which someone else made. smgdh

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Better to overpay than under.

Wakezilla

You know, I think I’m going to make this for my last meal before I go over seas next week.

Bang up job and thanks for a heck of a season. Can you do some best of episodes arojnd Holliday seasons? You had some great stuff that would be great to make around Thanksgiving next month.

blaxabbath

Fact. That last-min Thanksgiving post was on fleek.

ballsofsteelandfury

It’s kinda sad that this is the last one for a while, but what a way to go out!

Also, breakfast for dinner is one of the essential joys of life

theeWeeBabySeamus

Very impressed. You’d fit in with my redneck family with no suspicions. Seriously. That’s some good looking redneck type cookering.

And Vegas…Woo!!!!
http://g1.nh.ee/images/pix/ecaed55b21a9d4b60e-71987185.gif

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Sounds delicious and I might make something similar at… oh shit, it’s 1 already. You need to deep fry those potatoes though. We have a pot dedicated to fries/chips/other potatoes here.