I guess every team deserves a shot at the national spotlight at some point in the year, if only to remind the average fan as to why he/she has no interest in watching that team. But we are not average fans, are we? We will watch anything. Besides, it’s early in the season-we’re a long way from “The Late-November Turgid Battle of Teams That Won’t Make The Playoffs Blues”. (I believe it was sung by Sonny Terry and Brownie McGhee) Both these teams are win-less and the loser will be making an appearance on next week’s “Power Rankings of the 0-2 Teams” post.* What are we waiting for? TO THE GAME!
Jets/Bills-Many mentions will be made of the Watkins/Revis showdown but on the other side of the field wr Woods is up against a cb (Buster Skrine) that allowed opposing qb’s to post a 100 QBR against him in 2015. It seems to be just a matter of a few games before cb Marcus Williams, who had a pick last week and six last year, becomes more prominent in the Jets secondary. The Bills have McCoy at rb and still managed only 176 total yards of offense against a Ravens D that just doesn’t look very imposing. OC Roman takes all the blame and should open things up this week. The thing is, the Jets interior D-Line of Wilkerson, Williams and Richardson are run-stopping, pocket-collapsing goliaths. Look for LeSean to run outside/catch short balls in space. Equally uninspiring was the yard work of wr’s Decker and Marshall last week. They caught 54 3-foot increments of space combined. It does seem as though the qb that raises his game the most under what will be intense defensive pressure will be the one that comes out with the V.
Ladies and gentlemen, START YOUR TYPING!
*Stay tuned
Goodwin makes the transition to cb faster than you can say “Taylor with the lousy throw”.
“Good imitation of Ryan Fitzpatrick”
Yeah and me beating off today was a good impression of John Holmes, Phil.
Going in to Ravens stadium, a total hipster douche walks past. I mean, like central casting sent down an actor for “hipster douche”.
Guy in line yells out, “You lost, motherfucker?”
I love Baltimore.
“Yeah man, I was really down with those people. They were riffin’ with me and everything. Wanted to take a selfie with them but, you know, I’m just there for the game.”
Dude…its fucking crazy when I go back how fucking much Baltimore has changed. I grew up around Lexington Market and I am just waiting to hear that Johns Hopkins has demolished it for a university book store or some shit.
I’m not kidding, there was a set of row homes I used to get fucked up in when they were abandoned and now they are expensive as shit places for rich people.
It has changed alot, in some places, other places are worse than Beirut.
Hampden is crawling with these kinds of assholes. I fucking hate them.
Yeah my ex got priced out of Hampden.
Well, yeah, expensive places aren’t for the poor.
Fuck the poor.
University hospital systems and research facilities are the only things keeping most cities alive these days.
Its crazy how much power JH has in Baltimore.
Just like UPMC in Pittsburgh.
That sound you just heard was half of my neighborhood getting in their cars and heading for the Outerbridge.
Fun fact: The Outerbridge Crossing is named after General Outerbridge.
Poor Corporal Innerbridge never gets any love.
He also charged a boat toll of 8 Prussian francs once upon a time, despite taking an hour to cross.
And they didn’t even have EZ Pass.
To get over into Bayonne all you needed to do was kiss a Hungarian man’s goat.
Kiss?!?!
I got ripped off!
Fuck you Tostitos, there is no way a black person would have been invited to that Patriots tv watching party
“THAT IS NAWT VINCE WILFAWK!”
“YEAH WELL YOU SHOULD BE WORKIN’ FOR MEEEEEEEEE, MR HAHVAD!”
To be fair, they did force him into the closest.
Somebody might have needed another set of prints on one of their kitchen knives…
It’s fine. It’s fine. It’s fine.
http://i.imgur.com/zdlrgbC.gif
I said that about Cruz two and a half years ago. Jinx!
Guy in a suit checking out Marshall-uh oh.
Oh shit, horse collar strikes again.
Roy Williams sips a bourbon, and nods
Well fuck.
Ryan Fitzpatrick.
One of the guys.
Holy FUCKBALLS Simms.
Oh joy
If these are next generation stats, was the previous generation just like, “In Progress: Football Game”?
Slow White Guy: 5/6 72 yards
Fast Black Guy: 4 car, 18 yards
Kicky No Points White Guy: 2, 54.5 avg
Kicky Points White Guy: 2/3 FG
Thursday Night Football, where anticipation for the weekend goes to die.
Our rec soccer team lost in the semi’s last week (didn’t make a single shootout PK — the other team hit one; I did not shoot) and I got a text this afternoon that the team that beat us is disqualified (I don’t know how, it wasn’t like they seemed to be loaded with ringers). So I guess I’m happy because rec league soccer is kind of my intro to the weekend.
My cousin tried the Blazin’ Wings Challenge at BWW, he looked like he aged 5 years eating those things.
I have a buddy that regularly orders those. Just eats them like it was nothing. He’s a mutant.
Amazing.
I don’t understand eating shit so hot that you don’t even taste the flavor.
Anyone see that play in the HOU-Cincy game?
No, but I just discovered the game is on TSN4!
I like that we have college rapists getting only 3 mo in jail and that guy who raped the kid getting no time — but CBS is advertising shows that are about a guy who tries to manipulate the jury selection in our system.
Well Jim and Phil have been raping eardrums for nearly two decades, and no one has done a thing about it.
I did two weeks in a navy brig cause of a rape.
Dude in my division had sex with a 14 year old and got caught. They had him in the ship’s bring for the max time and then he got released to my custody because it was the weekend and the brig in Portsmouth wouldn’t take him till Monday.
I went to go smoke and somehow the kid fell down a ladder well…like three times.
That’s too bad. Hopefully he didn’t hit every rung on the ladder.
We were sitting berthing and the kid (we called him Elmo) wanted to know if I was just watching him to make sure he didn’t run off
“Elmo…I am here to make sure you don’t get lynched you shithead. What the fuck were you thinking? A FOURTEEN YEAR OLD?!?”
“Well I thought she was sixteen”
“The age of consent is 18 here. You know this…WE COVER THIS”
“Well…grass on the field”
I stood up disgusted. “I’m going to go smoke. Guys…he needs to be able to walk” and I left the berthing.
It took two weeks for medical to release him to the Portsmouth brig. Easiest time I ever spent in the brig.
This is why Trump needs new generals.
You could have your own show on CBS.
Justice* — The Navy’s first female black Rear Admiral, Justice Reigns, finds that, to keep America’s Global Force for Good running, she might have be a little…..bad. Wednesdays on CBS. Is it Justice on CBS? It must be Wednesday. Wednesday. CBS. Justice. Tune in.
Gotta say, was a bit worried the direction this story was gonna go.
Usually when someone in red runs by someone in white in Buffalo, they’re eluding the cops.
Bull – looks like it’s gonna be full of shit
A guy playing golf climbs in a BWM SUV. That’s like a double helping of douchebag.
He’s teeing off at 3:15 on a Friday because he’s allowed such ‘perks’.
That Jets field goal from inside the 15 was brought to you by “Mike McCarthy’s Playoff Winning Manual for Winners”.
Another fucking shovel?!
they’ll never expect this dumb shit inside the 15 TWICE!!
Oh fuck off 5chan you cunt.
It’d be so Jets to have the ball for 14 minutes in the first and still be losing.
Wow, that huge loogie coming out of that guy’s mouth was amazing to see in HD
how do they recruit people to Jets fanhood? By telling one it will build character, like joining the Marines? Does one not get the hipster privileges of Mets fandom unless one signs in blood foar the Jets combo pack as well? Or is it solely passed down from father to son/daughter like his alcoholism, like “fuck you, I had to suffer, the little shit does too!”
The Glory Days of Curtis Martin and washed-up Esiason are incentive enough!
I come from a Giants family, but my best friend growing up liked the Jets so I became a Jets fan. I chose this life. I caught up with my friend on Facebook recently, and he’s a crack addict living in Texarkana, so there’s that.
Because it cancels out my Yankees being competent. Also Jets Fest at Hofstra was kinda fun.
http://i.img ur.com/G6zERkS.gif
Not safe for work…but very mesmerizing.
Instead of Color Rush, I think it should be “Make Your Own Uniform”. Real arts and crafts, like at summer camp. (The regular kind of summer camp, not the camps for ‘those people.’)
“Tell me more about this ‘Build A Bear’.”
-Michael Sam
Bergen-Belsen had a great arts program, I heard.
Bills personnel issues include:
The Bills
Every time he gets hit, I expect Forte to explode like a character in “Pixels”.
“Taunting”, if that penalty were any gayer I’d be blowing Quentin Crisp and Dan Savage simultaneously at the corner of Yonge and Bloor!
In June!
I don’t want to live in a world where Kevin James is considered a “King of Comedy.”
I often wonder how he tricked Patton Oswalt, Jerry Stiller, and Leah Remini to do that show with him.
Yep, runs up the middle on every first down. Eventually they’ll expect something else, right Chan?
After Arians gets canned for going 0-16 this year, Bowles can bring him on to teach Fitzpatrick how to air it out on any down and any distance.
I can’t stand that approach-run play action every 3rd first down at least.
How do the Bills not have Suh?
A new Tom Cruise movie: proof that Big Applebox is really running this country.
I guess Revis Island is now three miles in area.
ID SAY ITS MOAR OF AN ISTHMUS BOB
Only the Jets can get a taunting penalty after getting burned for an 84 yard touchdown.
At least Darrelle is doing the Jets the kindness of proving he sucks now very early in the season so they can adjust accordingly (they won’t).
What he meant is that Revis Island is actually a peninsula!
Turns out Revis Island is actually a peninsula.
Well played
OF COURSE the Jets would get a taunting penalty on THAT
“I’d rather be lucky than good.”
-Rex Ryan
http://i.imgur.com/VI0mkeQ.gif
Give up TD… get penalized for taunting. So Jets.
Holy hell, he fast.
They should also Boise State the fields for Color Rush games.
And have the games in London.
Bills TD celebration!
http://66.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_md3p92v9No1qgkn6ko1_500.gif
Revis got TORCHED!
Is shitty camera work on bombs the NFL’s way of trying to get me to pony up $400 for a Week 2 ticket?