Your AFC East Colour Rushing Barfganza Thursday Night NFL Football Open Thread

I guess every team deserves a shot at the national spotlight at some point in the year, if only to remind the average fan as to why he/she has no interest in watching that team. But we are not average fans, are we? We will watch anything. Besides, it’s early in the season-we’re a long way from “The Late-November Turgid Battle of Teams That Won’t Make The Playoffs Blues”. (I believe it was sung by Sonny Terry and Brownie McGhee) Both these teams are win-less and the loser will be making an appearance on next week’s “Power Rankings of the 0-2 Teams” post.* What are we waiting for? TO THE GAME!

Jets/Bills-Many mentions will be made of the Watkins/Revis showdown but on the other side of the field wr Woods is up against a cb (Buster Skrine) that allowed opposing qb’s to post a 100 QBR against him in 2015. It seems to be just a matter of a few games before cb Marcus Williams, who had a pick last week and six last year, becomes more prominent in the Jets secondary. The Bills have McCoy at rb and still managed only 176 total yards of offense against a Ravens D that just doesn’t look very imposing. OC Roman takes all the blame and should open things up this week. The thing is, the Jets interior D-Line of Wilkerson, Williams and Richardson are run-stopping, pocket-collapsing goliaths. Look for LeSean to run outside/catch short balls in space. Equally uninspiring was the yard work of wr’s Decker and Marshall last week. They caught 54 3-foot increments of space combined. It does seem as though the qb that raises his game the most under what will be intense defensive pressure will be the one that comes out with the V.

Ladies and gentlemen, START YOUR TYPING!

*Stay tuned

 

 

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King Hippo

WHO??

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Look NFL Network, I am willing to watch your legit stream on your site using my cable login but it won’t even work!

I miss the days when I would just wrap my genitals in tinfoil and face due north to get reception!

herodotus450

For some reason there is a stream for free on twitter. Seems to work.

blaxabbath

I turned on this game about 6 minutes ago. I saw a replay of a shitty shovel pass and a FG.

jjfozz

Kung Fu Panda is a great movie.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Cartoons are for kids, Fozz.

/turns on Archer

Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water

They’re all great. I was expecting cheap sequels but the villains in the second and third ones were surprisingly badass.

Smithchez

Runs up the middle on every first down and dropbacks paradoxically designed to last longer the stronger the defensive line is. The Chan Gailey way!

JustStopDude
herodotus450

An AARP commercial, hmmm, I wonder what channel this game is on.

Shovel on a 3rd and 7 deep in the red zone, 5chan’s trolling us hard.

King Hippo

SO JETS. The longest drive in recorded memory…FG

JustStopDude
Senor Weaselo

Huzzah?

Fitz is rushing his way to a career ending injury I see.

Sill Bimmons

So the Jets have a guard named Qvale, eh?

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MANGUSTA

Sill Bimmons

I mention the guy, he false starts.

And that pronunciation is incorrect, it’s “kuh-VALL-eh.”

At least the car is.

herodotus450

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blackroseMD1

That reminds me…I need a secretary.

Smithchez

The red area?

JustStopDude

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ThursdaySkyGoddess

I read the second guy’s quote in Paul Finebaum’s voice.

Col. Duke LaCross

I think that is Finebaum! Dude is some kind of vampire!

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Drew Magary, Brooklyn, writer: “You bet. These GLOREEE BOY ladies need to be shown that I can hurt their ass with one feel swoop. I got spanked on the ass at my dipshit prep school and look how I turned out!”

Unsurprised

A closet-case intent on destroying everyone he meets?

jjfozz

Dog’s been gone for two months and I got all misty today when I drove past her veterinarian’s office. I’m buying a puppy tomorrow.

Sill Bimmons

Gonna be that guy and say please adopt.

http://foac.us/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/aspca-logo2.jpg

jjfozz

Actually, the wife and I talked about doing that, or a rescue. Right now we’re looking for a house, so that takes precedence. Dammit.

My former assistant was a big proponent of the ASPCA, maybe I’ll get in touch with her when the time comes.

Sill Bimmons

Use the money you’d pay for a puppy to upgrade your Montblanc experience.

I just got a sweet phone case/travel organizer/passport holder.

http://x.cloudsdata.net/4n/images/products/large/6339-000-6573-.jpg

theeWeeBabySeamus

As a Vet, I’ll just say this….
Getting a new pet while still grieving over the last, can often become regretful.

Ed’s billing by the hour for his explanations isn’t he?

Claymaker

You’d better believe Rex will challenge over 12 feet.

Smithchez

Well that’s a ridiculously stupid challenge. Classic Rex!

herodotus450

So if I understand “color rush”, the Jets are wearing their normal uniforms and the bills are wearing red jerseys instead of blue

litre_cola

white pants too

herodotus450

Hmm yeah. If you’re gonna go all white, it better be some k-swiss shit or else I’m not even gonna notice

King Hippo

Buffalo es merde

Smithchez

Let’s gets derpin’!

So Bills are essentially dress in Greatriots retro uniforms, right?

King Hippo

we’ll see if Tyrod rocks the Grogan rollbar

Sill Bimmons
Senor Weaselo

The derp, it begins.

jjfozz

ALL HAIL BLERG!

herodotus450

I refuse to “tweet” so I’m going to do all my complaining about the twiiter stream here

Bugg

Nothing like a short pointless incompletion to start things off for this shitbox offense.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

ARRRROOOOOOO!

-Wolfman Rob

Sill Bimmons

One of the hidden perqs of being a Stillers fan is that you are rarely subjected to the worst of the promotional bullshit the NFL forces upon its lesser member organizations.

Take Color Rush. I didn’t even have to look to know that the Stillers were going to be wearing black instead of Screaming Yellow Zonkers.

Nike: You guys like the yellow?
Stillers: No.
Nike: Fair enough! We’ll just give those to the Rams!
Stillers:

http://cdn0.sbnation.com/imported_assets/2012249/you-get-the-hell-out.gif

jjfozz

Hey Buffalo, that stupid, annoying, mind numbing seven nation army bullshit chant is OUR FUCKING CHANT IN BAWLMER!

Don’t go fucking up our classy reputation.

litre_cola

Ok, so who ya got? Pheeel? Gruden? Aikman? Collinsworth? If you had to have one?

/I mitthh Mayock

Claymaker

That lasted at least 20 minutes after it stopped potentially being entertaining, so it’s the perfect lead-in for this game.

Lucky for the director of this skit to catch Joe on his monthly day of sobriety.

Smithchez

I could absolutely see a segment producer asking Jim Kelly for ideas and Kelly telling him about how Namath won’t stop drunk dialing him.

Shogun Marcus

Can’t remember where I heard it, but PHEEL has said they will take him out of the booth “boots on” as in only by death.

Unrelated: I’ve got a kickstarter for a voice-activated microphone gun. Triggerword is jeem.

King Hippo

you gon’ get lotsa $12 pledges, good sir…

herodotus450

WHY HASNT THIS AWFUL GAME STARTED YET! WHY ARE THEY SHOWING US THE STARTING LINEUPS NOW IF THEY’RE JUST GOING TO DO IT AGAIN 5 SECONDS AFTER THE GAME STARTS! WHAT IS TAKING MY PORN SO LONG TO LOAD!

litre_cola

I free porn took 10 times longer than payfor porn would you buy a membership?

jjfozz

I want to mark the occasion of my new job. I mean, getting shitbombed is not a way to mark the occasion.

Right now, I’m on the Mont Blanc website, about to buy something that I will lose within a week.

Is buying an expensive pen, you know, kind of . . . metrosexualish? could I lose my man card?

litre_cola

New job? Just means you are a boss when you walk in there with that. Sadly “Larry” the knobend will still it within a week when you aren’t looking, then claim it was his.

jjfozz

It’s a new job that is basically everything I want in a job. I start Oct. 3, and it can’t come soon enough. I’m buying that fucking pen.

litre_cola

Fuck yeah you are.

Great hustle.

Hate my own job so much glad you found something great!!!

herodotus450

Cheapskate tip: buy a normal pen and put the mont blanc refills in it.
/not sure if it works like that

Sill Bimmons

I’ve had the same stainless steel Meisterstuck roller ball my parents gave me when I finished grad school.

You’ll be surprised how well you keep track of it.

http://www.montblancpen.in/nl/images/images/l/201202/13292225200.jpg

...

That pen is mightier.

Sill Bimmons

Better coffee flavoring: mint or cinnamon?

jjfozz

Bourbon.

litre_cola

Cinnamon for coffee, or baileys.

Spanky Datass
Smithchez

Oh yeah, that’s the stuff

...

My philosophy on coffee is to never flavor it, but I’d probably lean mint over cinnamon if I were to.

King Hippo

does JV Houston need style points tonight?

litre_cola

DeioDear God I just turned on a hot seat argument between Cowher, and 2legit2quit. My brain is gunna esplode. What unis are they wearing this eve due to the blind people last year?

Shogun Marcus

White and red

herodotus450

Hey! You got shitty NFL thursday nigth football in my twitter!

Smithchez

LET’S GET READY TO BEAMEDIOCRETEAMTHATFINISHESWITHJUSTABADENOUGHRECORDTOREQUIRESIGNINGRYANFITZPATRICKTOONEYEARDEALSFOREVER!!!

King Hippo

OK, I have foolishly sat hobbled Charles Clay for Todd Doyle. I shall now sit back and watch him go fucking nuts against Gang Lime Jello Neon Rave Green, won’t I??

Sill Bimmons
Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

The longer the tie, the more likely it is to get caught in something.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Have some calming, assholes.
(yes, this is a tWBS original)
http://orig15.deviantart.net/16e0/f/2016/259/7/d/tonight_by_wufpacker-dahv7xy.jpg

jjfozz

ooooooh look who’s all talented n shit.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Nothing more than point and shoot. Talent don’t mean shit these days.

Bugg

How ever will the team in green fuck this up? It’s always a new set of shitty variables you never knew could happen. And we get to see rex Ryan celebrate another week of NFL employment. Oh, joy!

jjfozz

I just never got it in gear today. I feel like a dishrag. Time to see if my trusty friend bourbon can cheer me up.

Sill Bimmons

Going with Jets D again.

Wait, am I? Shit brb

Sill Bimmons

Going with Jets D in DFO, Bills D in DFO 2.

Sacrificing an entire yak to BLEERGH to ensure an even shittier Thursday Night shitshow than usual.

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