Your Sunday Night NFL Football Open Thread

[is floating on a metaphorical cloud because the Giants didn’t blow a close one]

Hey! What? How are you doing? [shakes cobwebs from head] TO THE GAME!

Phi/Chi-What is there to like about these two teams? The Eagles are in a weird spot because of Kelly’s shenanigans and the Bears are a teenage girl’s embodiment of the phrase “What. Ever!” Okay. I’ll give it a try. Eagles wr Matthews benefited the most from qb Wentz’ not-lousy debut. He went for 7/114/1. He could do more damage against Bears cb’s that have recently been rated as “meh”. Last week qb Cutler was all kinds of meh as well, sporting a 16-29/216/1TD/1INT line. Perhaps if we all get/continue to be high this game turns out to be watchable.* Despite being at home I’m thinking that the Bears end up at 0-2. Not that I’m cheering for the Eagles. No way.

NOW LET’S HAVE SOME FUN OUT THERE!!!

*does anyone have some spare glue I could borrow?

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
739 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Lothar of the Hill People

As much as I’d love to keep watching Rodgers and Bradford get creamed, I have to be up at 5 am. Thankfully, my students are still somewhat scared of me, so I can coast through class tomorrow.

Good night, all

Brocky

night loth

Dick E. Phuck

Rodgers loves it too. Good night.

Old School Zero

Sleep well, nestled in the hills of your people.

Trevor Semen

Terrance Williams Memorial Play of the Week

Dick E. Phuck

Coming up: The High Horse. Hosted by Bob Costas.

Old School Zero

that horse is on a soapbox, too.

litre_cola

While standing on a milk crate

Sharkbait

Is he going to parade out a strung out Sarah Jessica Parker?

LemonJello

Not shown: the ladder needed to get Costas on that high horse.

DontHair

That’s just what you want sitting at that field level club is paying a grand a ticket to not be able to see the game and drink 15 dollar beers.

Brocky

defensive pass interference.

fucking calling it

Lothar of the Hill People

Rodgers gets creamed and the receiver gets flagged for OPI. Where’s my Nelson laugh?

Sill Bimmons

25 cents a mile???

My people get 40!!!

Shogun Marcus

I remember the wonderful days of 50.

Sill Bimmons

I got 40p/km when I lived in the UK and drove over 25,000 km per year.

http://f.tqn.com/y/golondon/1/W/6/S/0/-/78374430.jpg

Mad bank yo.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

How is this even a close game?

blaxabbath

I wasn’t sure how to feel about the Vikings going with a matte helmet when they made the switch. I still feel the exact same way.

Trevor Semen

apparently Minnesota just got its first lead ever

blaxabbath

First and last.

Trevor Semen

You’re goddamn right

Trevor Semen

shit

Duchess

Thats what you want out of a coach. Someone who will bend to the will of a large group of people who think Trump might make a good president.

blaxabbath

I don’t want Trump to win. But I don’t want Clinton to win and act like she has a mandate. Ideally, she’ll win and then Paul Ryan will shut it all down for the next four years.

But if Trump wins — meh. It can’t be my fault; I don’t live in a contested state.

Gratliff

Most of my ideal situations involving Paul Ryan involve a semi on a highway

Brocky

I wasn’t going to vote at all until Pence entered the picture.

I cannot fathom the evils the world will face if he has that much power

Sill Bimmons

comment image

Sill Bimmons

Fozz isn’t here, so…

CHICAGO EMERGENCY CLEANING SERVICE
CHICAGO 24 HOUR MOBILE COMPUTER REPAIR
CHICAGO MOSQUITO COMMISSION

Lothar of the Hill People

CHICAGO HOT DOGS (It’s about guys who race motorcycles on the Dan Ryan at 2 am)

Sill Bimmons

See above.

Shogun Marcus

CHICAGO DAYCARE INSPECTOR
CHICAGO WEIGHTS AND MEASURES SQUAD
CHICAGO TUGBOAT
CHICAGO LOCK OPERATORS

Lothar of the Hill People

Yes, hot models get so excited about driving a Ford Fusion.

blackroseMD1

I need like 5 pick sixes from Harrison Smith to win my fantasy game this week.

That’s possible, right?

Sharkbait

I fucking hate the Subway couple that replaces days of the week with sandwich names. I hope your child grows up resenting you and hits you with a tire iron while yelling out actual days of the week.

litre_cola

Thank bleergh we don’t get that commercial here.

Lothar of the Hill People

Bradford gets creamed again. I keep wondering when blood will start coming out of his ears.

Dick E. Phuck

Sam Bradford got the ball downfield???

Trevor Semen

Clay Matthews with the sexy hair whip

blaxabbath

[HGH]air Flip

Spur
Lothar of the Hill People

Collinsworth says, “They love double-teaming these defensive tackles” and the camera is on the cheerleaders for half a second.

Spur

Any time Rogers scrambles I just assume there’s going to be a 50+ yard td…..Fucker….

Duchess

wait did People vs OJ actually get better because I couldn’t stand the first 2 episiodes

Sharkbait

If you can get over whiny David Schwimmer saying “Juice” over and over, it had its moments

Duchess

Fogo De Chao or Texas De Brazil?

Sill Bimmons

GIS caption says “Johnny Prime Steakhouse.”

litre_cola

So the fire people are at the LDS church across the way. I hope I didn’t juju them earlier.

JerBear50

The LD’s had their own classes at my school but I had no idea they had their own church.

LemonJello

Punts for the punt gods!

Lothar of the Hill People

As a KSK commentist, I really want this game to end in a 7-7 tie.

As a Bears fan, I’d like that, too, along with Rodgers and Bradford having matching collarbone fractures.

litre_cola

Lothar, we would have to stay up so late.

Lothar of the Hill People

It’s a sacrifice that I’m willing to have you make.

JerBear50

As a survivor league participant, I really want Oakland to go fuck themselves.

litre_cola

Is Lacy having a turkey leg time out?

Brocky

Don’t worry , they brought him back in to pass block

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5wcd7dMry1rul0hko1_250.gif

Spur

Phillip Rivers making more children right now.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Does his wife know?

Lothar of the Hill People

She’s had so many, by this point it’s like throwing a hot dog down a hallway. He could probably jam a football up there and she wouldn’t know.

Unsurprised

I’ve seen that movie

Trevor Semen

Did Collingsworth just say it;s hard to move your head a few inches left?

Sharkbait

Indian is fucking delicious.

Brocky

hey, I thought we were done making fun of bradford

Trevor Semen

It’s good until it goes past your throat

...

Seems this new stadium is adept at killing more than just birds.

blaxabbath

BIRDMURDERDOME

Spur

They just straight filled Bradford’s hand with air to make it look normal.

JerBear50

They should try that for Alex Smith.

litre_cola

Kids v Finland is far better

Romonobyl

Shit…gotta skype with Ms. Nobyl. I hate business travel. Should take me through the half.

Gratliff

On the bright side, you can make it look bigger.

Lothar of the Hill People

I’ve never noticed Bradford has such skinny legs. He’s gonna get broke real soon.

Unsurprised

Going to?

Smithchez

Of course he gets hit twice on his first play back. Eventually he’s just going to burst into a puff of powder like one of those trick golf balls.

Duchess

Bradford never gets a chance because his OC changes every year, and yet Cutler is a “coach killer”

nomonkeyfun

The lame stream media is anti-cat.

LemonJello

When asked for his opinion, Cutler stopped grooming himself, replied, “DOOOOOONNNNNNN”TT CAAAAAARRREEE” and resumed licking his ass.

Sharkbait

This is a great juxtaposition with the Tecmo Bowl car ads I’ve seen during this game

Brocky

I’m just embarrassed it took 2 tecmo commercials to make me think of that

Brocky

and I just now realize it fits with bradford as well. I posted it soley because of the commercials

Spur

Who let Caitlyn Jenner drive?

Trevor Semen

That’s TRANSPHOBIC you SEXIST MISOGYNIST!

Gratliff

Brave.

Romonobyl

This really sucks with an iPad on a kludgy wifi hotspot.

Dick E. Phuck

Maybe Sam should stop employing a Shaman as his orthopedic surgeon.

Spur

But Obamacare is crazy expensive.

Gratliff

Wouldn’t have happened if he’d popped his Ancestral Protection Totem.

/crosses WoW reference off list

Unsurprised

That’s the kind of top notch healthcare you get from the federal government’s Indian Health Service

Duchess

PICTURED: Sam Bradford.

Moonbatting Average

Beat me to it by a second

Lothar of the Hill People

You know, Purple People Eaters is actually a gay bar in St. Paul

Trevor Semen

I feel like Purple Penis Eaters was already taken

Brocky

Jokes aside, every gay guy I’ve ever been aquainted with for any amount of time has always been a huge sports fan

The Maestro

oh my god i am so sorry yeah right. i honestly have no words right now

Trevor Semen

They’re tied with the Packers right now. If you forget the fact that the Packers almost lost to the Jags, they’re doing pretty good.

Smithchez

Meanwhile, Eddie Lacy has apparently completed his transformation into Trent Richardson.

Trevor Semen

Nice zoom in on Bradford’s “hand”

Spur

He needs some milk!

Lothar of the Hill People

No, he needs malk! That Vitamin R will help his bones

I Will Dye Blonde

I’ve heard that nanobubbles will fix that right up!

Trevor Semen

The joke is that whenever they zoomed in on his hand, his dick was in the middle of the frame

Gratliff

Enjoy your trade, motherfuckers.

litre_cola

I am very smug about this as well

Spur

Who had game 1 as Bradford’s last game?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Everyone

Brocky

I’m torn between making a joke about Bradford being injury prone, or a matthews is dirty one.